“I’ve seen this raw strength only once before”
October 9, 2017 7:40 PM Subscribe

The second trailer for “The Last Jedi” has been released.
posted by New Frontier (258 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

YouTube link.
posted by jedicus at 7:45 PM on October 9, 2017 [4 favorites]

I hear it’s fairly spoilery: confirm/deny?
posted by entropicamericana at 7:47 PM on October 9, 2017

It certainly implies some stuff.
posted by Artw at 7:48 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

As a casual watcher, the "spoiler-y" bit made me want to see it (and the first one which I still haven't gotten around to)-- but if I was die hard, I think I'd be a little annoyed by some of what it reveals.
posted by tschichold at 7:50 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

That cutesy-poo porg thing took me right out of it. Ugh, why.

Pretty spoilery, yes.
posted by Mavri at 7:52 PM on October 9, 2017 [6 favorites]

Meh.
posted by codacorolla at 7:53 PM on October 9, 2017

I had some idea that I was going to hold off and wasn't going to watch it and then as soon as it was up, of course I watched it. Who was I kidding?
posted by octothorpe at 7:53 PM on October 9, 2017 [13 favorites]

It certainly implies some stuff.

It does.... but is it a result of carefully editing scenes together to make the implication?

It wouldn't be the first time a trailer scene has been a lie.
posted by Paladin1138 at 7:55 PM on October 9, 2017 [19 favorites]

Twitter loves the Porgs unreservedly.
posted by Artw at 7:55 PM on October 9, 2017 [7 favorites]

What’s spoilery about it? Watched and it all seems slight of hand with careful edits.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:57 PM on October 9, 2017 [10 favorites]

I thought Han Solo was dead, not turned into a beagle owl
posted by thelonius at 7:58 PM on October 9, 2017 [38 favorites]

Beagowl.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 8:02 PM on October 9, 2017 [13 favorites]

I don’t even care I am legit screaming in my car right now outside of a Souplantation because of so many things

1. Luke’s bionic hand is badass
2. Finn is using a vibrosword!!!!!!!!!
3. Kylo Ren you manbaby don’t you dare do what I think you’re gonna do to your mama
4. Disney I do not need more Emo Ren y u do this
5. What the fuck is a Porg, is it the Star Wars Universe equivalent of a tribble?
6. DARK SIDE REY
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:08 PM on October 9, 2017 [32 favorites]

Chewie (translated from Shyriiwook): I'm sorry, Han. It was battlefield surgery, and the only species we had available to support a symbiote force ghost were *snicker* porgs.
Han: *meeps angrily*
Chewie (translated from Shyriiwook): I can get a sense of what he's trying to communicate. He says he's very happy.
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:09 PM on October 9, 2017 [43 favorites]

There's definitely some fake out editing going on. I wouldn't assume anything.

I am seriously not going to be able to handle it when Carrie Fisher's on screen.
posted by lovecrafty at 8:10 PM on October 9, 2017 [32 favorites]

Needs more Jar-Jar.
posted by lagomorphius at 8:10 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

Yes all those things, Hermione, except I want all the Emo Ren and I want a porg of my own.
posted by greermahoney at 8:11 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

I like how, when Kylo Ren was in the figher, he tried spinning.
posted by Groundhog Week at 8:12 PM on October 9, 2017 [10 favorites]

Twitter loves the Porgs unreservedly.

I loves the Porgs unreservedly.
posted by greermahoney at 8:13 PM on October 9, 2017 [10 favorites]

In the 80s, I was a little girl who loved--nay, adored--Star Wars. I'm not really sure I can put into words the feeling of watching a Star Wars trailer where the hero, the main hero--the conflicted, powerful, potentially dangerous hero, the person the film titles allude to--is a woman. I'm kind of sad I had to wait this long, and I'm so happy for all the Star Wars loving little girls out here now.

(Also Emo Ren is the best Ren because it's the most ridiculous Ren, and that's always the best.)
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:15 PM on October 9, 2017 [78 favorites]

Porgs are the new Ewoks aren't they
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:15 PM on October 9, 2017 [5 favorites]

I like how, when Kylo Ren was in the figher, he tried spinning.

I've heard that it's a good trick.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:15 PM on October 9, 2017 [10 favorites]

This is a good trailer, in the sense that it gives you a taste of what is to come, yet leaving you wanting more. I don't feel like the whole movie is in the trailer, for once. Lots of potential fake-outs and double fakes here. I'm actually looking forward to seeing this one, mostly for Mark Hamill's older, haunted Luke. "This is not going to go how you think!"
posted by KHAAAN! at 8:18 PM on October 9, 2017 [12 favorites]

It’s very meh, nothing really stands out as OMG. Feels like too many Star Wars cliches.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:19 PM on October 9, 2017

Was Chewbacca CG in The Force Awakens, too? That kinda bummed me out.
posted by Mothlight at 8:22 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

→ That cutesy-poo porg thing took me right out of it. Ugh, why.

You know why: $. Star Wars has always been about the cash and little else.

Anyway, didn't you guys just have a Star Wars movie?
posted by scruss at 8:26 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

There are so many other planets to choose from

Why do we only get to see the ice and the sand planets

Where is Manaan

Where is Rishii

Where is the Sith homeworld and why doesn’t anything ever take place there

Star ships and battle cruisers are boring

Come onnnnnnn
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:26 PM on October 9, 2017 [3 favorites]

I like how, when Kylo Ren was in the figher, he tried spinning.

Wizard!
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:26 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

Wait did we see Manaan in Clone Wars because maybe I am forgetting

I don’t have a good enough internet connection out here in this parking lot to check
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:27 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

I like the trailer but I’ve learned more from the thread than the trailer, because I just learned the Wookiee language has a name
posted by Countess Elena at 8:28 PM on October 9, 2017 [5 favorites]

Metafilter: *meeps angrily*
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:28 PM on October 9, 2017 [34 favorites]

I liked the ewoks. I'm going to like the porgs.

Did they try for an obvious cash grab character in the prequels? Lord knows it wasn't the Gungans. Everything else, maybe? I didn't like those.
posted by Kyol at 8:29 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

I am afraid it was in fact the Gungans
posted by Countess Elena at 8:30 PM on October 9, 2017 [6 favorites]

Hermione Granger - you know someone else complained about sand.
posted by Artw at 8:32 PM on October 9, 2017 [20 favorites]

I have Serious Thoughts about this, all of which are being drowned out by me making 'KKSSSSSSHHHHHHWWWWWRRRRRRRMMMMMMM' noises.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:35 PM on October 9, 2017 [18 favorites]

It does seem safe to say that this will NOT just be a retread of Empire.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:41 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

Countess Elena: "I am afraid it was in fact the Gungans"

"Jar Jar's the key to all this, if we get Jar Jar working. 'Cause he's a funnier character than we've ever had in the movies."
posted by Chrysostom at 8:44 PM on October 9, 2017

Am I the only one who had to watch it twice because they got so distracted about the forthcoming Metafilter comments/arguments that they lost track of what was happening onscreen?
posted by ActingTheGoat at 8:44 PM on October 9, 2017 [5 favorites]

star wars, schmar wars, all i want to know, is, do the two attractive taut gentlemen canonically smooch in the gay way
posted by Automocar at 8:44 PM on October 9, 2017 [47 favorites]

YES I too was disappointed at the lack of tongue slapping and butt touching between our heroes, not even a hint of it, wtf trailer folks, is that misdirection or something
posted by barchan at 8:48 PM on October 9, 2017 [10 favorites]

yes i forgot about butt stuff thank you this is why mefi is valuable
posted by Automocar at 8:51 PM on October 9, 2017 [18 favorites]

Anyway, didn't you guys just have a Star Wars movie?

New movie every year forever. Nostalgia is hegemony.

I think we are firmly into 'sixty seasons and a movie' territory at this point in the evolution of intellectual property.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 8:53 PM on October 9, 2017 [3 favorites]

It does seem safe to say that this will NOT just be a retread of Empire.

I mean, maybe? Luke is Yoda now, Rey is tested by the dark side, ice planet, parental FEELINGS. The last one wasn't quite a shot for shot remake, more like a theme for theme remix, and this pretty much feels the same?

I mean, we're all obviously going to see it and more than likely love it, but they're not breaking new ground? It's a billion dollar franchise, they're going to mainline us everything they already know we love. But, they're not wrong?
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:58 PM on October 9, 2017 [6 favorites]

Imperial assault on an ice planet and an old Jedi master training a pupil. No second part of a trilogy has ever done this

And a dead Han. Are they just remaking the whole damn trilogy but cheesier and with more CGI? Are there going to be fucking ewoks again? I hope they use CGI to make lasers shoot out of their eyes, because why not.
posted by fshgrl at 9:03 PM on October 9, 2017

Are they just remaking the whole damn trilogy but cheesier and with more CGI?

I mean, I would watch the Millennium Falcon get chased by a giant hand-puppet in an asteroid again. That was pretty neat.

All joking aside, what I want to see is if they try a redemption arc with Kylo Ren. After patricide, what would that even look like?
posted by Groundhog Week at 9:09 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

All the shitting on "emo Ren" bugs me, the guy's a good actor and Kylo is in a pretty crap-hole place. I think it just bugs fans that emotions are going on in the toy world.
Anyways, are they ever going to make a Remo Williams sequel? I mean, the adventure begun, lets get this show on the road!!!!

This comment is the perfect example of why we need the line-item favorite.
I don't know if he's a good actor or not. His character is admittedly thin but White Guy With Murderous Daddy Issues isn't an original character. If you are going to be a murderous movie asshole at least do it with panache. Panachole.

On the other hand, yes Remo Williams. Very much yes.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:12 PM on October 9, 2017 [7 favorites]

All joking aside, what I want to see is if they try a redemption arc with Kylo Ren. After patricide, what would that even look like?

Probably just throw Snape down a well. Worked for old man Vader, and he killed like billions of people, and also a school full of kids.
posted by rodlymight at 9:19 PM on October 9, 2017 [5 favorites]

Imperial assault on an ice planet and an old Jedi master training a pupil. No second part of a trilogy has ever done this

Every twenty-odd years, a new Trilogy, each following the last in linear time, but cyclically echoing and mirroring. The downfall of an Empire, or a Republic. Corruption and redemption like vines strangling the Skywalker family tree. Sometimes the Republic, or the Empire, lasts thousands of years - in between films - sometimes decades. The sand planet. The ice planet. A superweapon. A garbage chute. Sith betraying Sith, Jedi betraying Jedi. In your lifetime you'll see a couple recent retellings and three or four new ones.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 9:19 PM on October 9, 2017 [18 favorites]

but Dark Side Rey though.

DARK SIDE REY YOU GUYS, I AM HERE FOR THIS
posted by potrzebie at 9:19 PM on October 9, 2017 [4 favorites]

6. DARK SIDE REY

I favorited your comment Hermione because everything else 100% true. But I do not need to see this in a movie. It's such an obvious direction to go in.

(I'll feel the same way when it inevitably turns out she's Luke's, or Leia's, kid. Seriously, people who aren't anyone's kids can accomplish stuff too. End this stupid virgin birth midichlorian bloodline plot.)
posted by mark k at 9:25 PM on October 9, 2017 [11 favorites]

Luke is Yoda now, Rey is tested by the dark side, ice planet, parental FEELINGS. The last one wasn't quite a shot for shot remake, more like a theme for theme remix, and this pretty much feels the same?

I'm skeptical of the editing; I think they are trying to lead the audience to certain conclusions - like they are just trying too hard to show us these connections. That being said, I can see some ways they can use the same basic themes to give us something different. Luke as Yoda, yes, but a more reluctant Yoda than the one in ESB - which leaves Rey searching for answers and willing to take any hand being offered; Luke passed his test of temptation, but maybe Rey won't. Or a confrontation between Kylo and Leia that leads to Kylo turning back to the Light a full movie before Vader did. Both of these would give us the same thematic beats but a different arc. But I really wonder if we aren't being fed something right now to make us expect more of the same drug we've been high on for forty years before they slip us something different.

The whole Finn versus Phasma intrigues me the most to be honest.
posted by nubs at 9:28 PM on October 9, 2017 [6 favorites]

It's such an obvious direction to go in.

"This is not going to go how you think!"
posted by hippybear at 9:28 PM on October 9, 2017 [13 favorites]

But I really wonder if we aren't being fed something right now

October 9, 2017. That amazing day that nubs had the scales fall from their eyes and they realized what marketing is. Suddenly they saw it everywhere, like they were wearing those magic sunglasses from They Live, only they couldn't take them off. Manipulation. Expectations. Insistence. Advertising. Everywhere, all the time.

Was is freedom, or madness?
posted by hippybear at 9:31 PM on October 9, 2017 [12 favorites]

In the title, "Jedi" can be plural, can it not?
posted by Rich Smorgasbord at 9:31 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

You people hatin’ on the porgs, what does it feel like to be so dead inside, does it echo like an abandoned and possibly haunted tuberculosis sanitorium?

I loves you, Porgies
Don't let them Binks you
Don't let them Ewok you and drive me mad
If you amuse me
I wanna boop your snoots forever and I'll be glad
posted by middleclasstool at 9:32 PM on October 9, 2017 [22 favorites]

It's been confirmed in other languages that do plurals differently that it is plural.
posted by hippybear at 9:33 PM on October 9, 2017 [8 favorites]

I am totally going to this, out of contractual obligation to the six-year-old me.

And in any event, I like how it looks. My mind will erase the porgs and those ice dog things if necessary, and mainly remember how Rey's lightsaber turns on RIGHTNOW all badasslike.
posted by Caxton1476 at 9:34 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

I wanna boop your snoots forever

That's furry language right there.
posted by hippybear at 9:34 PM on October 9, 2017 [9 favorites]

I'm gonna repeat what I commented when the previous part came out. A Finn without a Jake? A Ren without a Stimpy? Pass.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:44 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

It looks very exciting, and I love it.

The first thing I thought with just about every juxtaposed edit was "that may not be real." I never, ever believe trailers anymore. They show me wonderful images that may make it to the big screen, and they do lie. But that's OK.

I am enticed. I will go to the theater.
posted by lhauser at 9:47 PM on October 9, 2017

October 9, 2017. That amazing day that nubs had the scales fall from their eyes and they realized what marketing is

The same day that hippybear reached new levels of patronizing snark, apparently. A red letter day in history.
posted by nubs at 9:52 PM on October 9, 2017 [24 favorites]

I hope they blow up a Death Star!
posted by mazola at 9:56 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

No no no. This is the episode WITHOUT a Death Star. That will happen next episode.

Their attempt to blow it up will feature a trap for them.
posted by hippybear at 10:02 PM on October 9, 2017 [6 favorites]

All joking aside, what I want to see is if they try a redemption arc with Kylo Ren. After patricide, what would that even look like?

Deathbed confession and remorse == Force Ghost

( You ever try to rub one out with a couple of glowing force ghosts in the room? WTF was Ren thinking -- You thought he was emo in the last one! HA!)
posted by mikelieman at 10:02 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

The same day that hippybear reached new levels of patronizing snark, apparently. A red letter day in history.

Indeed. The snark is strong in all of us, but hippybear has the best midichlorians !

( 52 seconds... )
posted by mikelieman at 10:04 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

Their attempt to blow it up will feature a trap for them.

I mean, JJ is the director. Should we make bingo cards?
posted by hippybear at 10:05 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

but Hippybear has

I actually don't have any capital letters in my username.

And I appreciate that you have enjoyed my snark. I thought it was witty and clever, and perhaps a bit more biting looking at it now than it was when I was typing it, but that is the way with snark.
posted by hippybear at 10:07 PM on October 9, 2017 [3 favorites]

If we do make bingo cards, then "lens flare" is the "free space".
posted by hippybear at 10:13 PM on October 9, 2017 [8 favorites]

On the other hand, yes Remo Williams. Very much yes.

I totally cannot understand when they went and rebooted Halloween, that they haven't revisited this.

[ Ok, I just googled. EEP! "Remo Williams: The Prophecy (TV Movie 1988) - IMDb" ( I'll see if I can find a copy... ) and three years ago there were stories of Shane Black rebooting it. So maybe there's a script in development hell that'll emerge ... ]

Oh, and these space-penguins. With the track record of Ewoks and whatever the fuck Jar-jar was. Don't bother correcting me, I lit. do not care. So, I'm skeptical, but don't have a bad feeling. When a fan straps a missile to it's back, I'll be on board, but still skeptical.
posted by mikelieman at 10:16 PM on October 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

IIRC the trailers for The Force Awakens were shot before some basic plot elements were settled, and actually included scenes we didn't see in the release. Any spoilers in this trailer might not only be deliberately misleading, but misleading us about an entirely different movie.
posted by Joe in Australia at 10:34 PM on October 9, 2017 [3 favorites]

"This is not going to go how you think!"

I hope not. I'll see the movie and would love to be surprised. I was perfectly OK with the first one but the only moment that actually surprised me was when Kylo Ren killed Han.

To be crystal clear, doing another variation on this in any way with Ren is not going to evoke the same response. Nor is redeeming Kylo or doing a Ren-falls-and-is-redeemed plot. (Already got that with Return of the Jedi, and Bastila in the KOTR video game respectively.)
posted by mark k at 10:45 PM on October 9, 2017

I mean, JJ is the director. Should we make bingo cards?

Rian Johnson is the director. Search your feelings; you know it to be true.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:45 PM on October 9, 2017 [7 favorites]

Was Chewbacca CG in The Force Awakens, too?

Dunno, but the shot in the trailer was grotesque.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 11:08 PM on October 9, 2017

>> beagle owl
> Beagowl

Hoojib

> Anyways, are they ever going to make a Remo Williams sequel?

If you're looking for more Remo Williams, you're in luck—there are more than 150 novels about his adventures.
posted by The Tensor at 11:14 PM on October 9, 2017 [4 favorites]

I haven't read any of the fan speculation. Are people predicting some kind of Ren/Rey redemption/fall flip flop? Like is Ren going to be the good guy and Rey the bad gal? I feel that people are implying this but haven't heard it explicitly.
posted by Telf at 11:28 PM on October 9, 2017

Dark Side Rey ? Couldn't it just as much be Light Side Ren ?
posted by Pendragon at 11:36 PM on October 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

You have some very fine people on both sides.
posted by Copronymus at 12:32 AM on October 10, 2017 [54 favorites]

IIRC the trailers for The Force Awakens were shot before some basic plot elements were settled, and actually included scenes we didn't see in the release.

Are you thinking of the Rogue One trailer? That had scenes that were cut and/or reshot for the eventual release, as the story was changed around at a late point in production. I don't remember any Force Awakens trailer scenes missing from the film (although I could be wrong).
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:04 AM on October 10, 2017

I am so pumped for this. I think the trailer did a good job of implying quite a lot but at the same time sowing enough seeds of doubt that I second guess any implications. They literally have Luke shouting "This is not going to go how you think!" I mean, it might, but it might not. I love it!

I think I need like a few hours in between each viewing of the trailer. I find myself tearing up more and more when Carrie Fisher is on the screen. I'm going to be a wreck in the cinema.

I am here for the porgs and I'm proud of it. I liked the ewoks too. Ep 1-3 didn't give us anything that adorbs and I feel completely spoiled with BB-8, "BB-hate", and the porgs. Give me all the cutes, as long as it's done right and these look like they're being done right.

No mention of the ice foxes? I almost felt confused for a split second like it was GoT trailer.
posted by like_neon at 2:06 AM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm kind of underwhelmed by both the teaser and this trailer. I'm not sure why. The Force Awakens trailer had real emotional resonance (and I really enjoyed the film), but this one just doesn't do it for me. Maybe it's the editing? Or music? In theory I'm really into the idea of a Force Awakens-style Empire Strikes Back, and I just booked my ticket for the midnight showing, so we'll see. Could just be a bad trailer.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:08 AM on October 10, 2017

I can't wait! But oh my tears will be many, not only for Carrie Fisher but also because it will be the first in the main series that I won't be seeing with my dad. But still, can't wait!!!
posted by h00py at 2:14 AM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

You people hatin’ on the porgs, what does it feel like to be so dead inside...

Feels like Starbuck
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:31 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

It’s very meh, nothing really stands out as OMG. Feels like too many Star Wars cliches.

i'm just so tired of all these star wars
posted by Sebmojo at 3:20 AM on October 10, 2017 [10 favorites]

Kara? Benedict? First mate of the Peaquod? Expensive coffee?
posted by BeeDo at 3:21 AM on October 10, 2017 [8 favorites]

i'm just so tired of all these star wars
posted by h00py at 3:26 AM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

Voodoo Rey
posted by popcassady at 3:48 AM on October 10, 2017

“This is not going to go how you think!"

Luke knows in his heart that humans are too weak to safely wield the force. Too many end up succumbing to the dark side. That’s why he left to go live on that secluded island—to train what would be the last generation of Jedi. It was all going according to plan until Rey showed up. Fortunately, the time he spent training his initial pupils will not go to waste. After Rey fails in her quest to defeat the dark side, the true heroes will emerge: an unlikely race of warrior-monks known as the porgs.
posted by dephlogisticated at 4:22 AM on October 10, 2017 [15 favorites]

I'm ready to hand my cash over to Disney like everyone else, but the trailer feels sort of muddy to me. I'm not sure if that's a result of rapid-cut/fakeout editing or if it's because the CGI oversaturation of the prequels is creeping back in to the franchise; there was plenty of CGI in Episode VII but shots never felt cluttered.
posted by Funeral march of an old jawbone at 4:57 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

I'm still not sure why they spend more than $100 to market these movies; it's not like everyone isn't going to go see Star Wars anyway. We all lined up to see the prequels which were terrible but still made billions. The entire marketing campaign could be one single-serve website with the name of the movie and the release date and it would still sell out.
posted by octothorpe at 5:08 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Uhhhhhnnnnggghhhh. This trailer is like a giant ice pick being stuck into my brain. I longed for these movies as a kid, and now that they are reality it just hurts. Please stop.
posted by xammerboy at 5:10 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

As a total non-fan, what's the complaint? I saw TFA because my friends were going (for like the third time) and I really enjoyed it. I will probably see this, and also probably enjoy it. But I am 100% not invested in the Star Wars universe. Like, if there were some kind of Spider-Man 3 dance scene, I would probably be okay with that. Which I understand is probably not okay.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:14 AM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm just here for the Prequel References.

I'm glad Captain Phasma is okay
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:14 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

I don't think it was spoiler-y at all. Redemption was a pretty big part of Return of the Jedi. And I saw at least three characters who could go either way in that trailer. The big question is who flips.
posted by Cyrano at 5:18 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

No mention of the ice foxes? I almost felt confused for a split second like it was GoT trailer.

You know, when the GoT direwolves arrived, complete with mystical connections to Very Special Children, I failed to listen to a little voice inside that said "that means this story will end up sucking". Never Again!
posted by thelonius at 5:25 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

As a total non-fan, what's the complaint?

It is the way of my people.
posted by thelonius at 5:26 AM on October 10, 2017 [8 favorites]

Porgs, you say?
posted by lagomorphius at 5:26 AM on October 10, 2017

They learn to break free from duality and embrace the Nuanced Side of The Force.

This is pretty much what I'm hoping the title means. Rey will be the one to synthesize the two sides of the force and end the Jedi/Sith, light/dark thing once and for all. Pure hope and speculation. I've been avoiding spoilers so much I was completely unprepared for the Porg.
posted by Mavri at 5:37 AM on October 10, 2017 [3 favorites]

As a total non-fan, what's the complaint? I saw TFA because my friends were going (for like the third time) and I really enjoyed it.

So did pretty much everyone. I saw TFA three times in its initial run. The fear on that one was that it was going to be more prequel-level heartbreak. And Abrams as director deepened those fears for a lot of people, because he's kind of hit-and-miss, and Star Wars is a pretty big ball to drop. So people processed that fear by declaring the movie utter bullshit after the first trailer and making a bunch of lens flare jokes (which, guys, those jokes were officially more overused than actual J.J. Abrams lens flares roughly five years ago. It's time to move on).

I didn't share in that fear because I knew there was a near-zero probability that Abrams could do more damage to the series than the prequels already had, but I understood it. Star Wars matters to me too.

Now the fear is that TFA was a one-shot fluke, and things will go back to sucking again. So people have got to pre-process that and brace themselves for disappointment because they saw a few one-second cuts of stuff in a trailer that they haven't seen in Star Wars before. This readies them to either have that disappointment validated, sparing them having to relive the heartbreak of watching "The Phantom Menace", or be pleasantly surprised the way that they were with TFA.

This one I kind of understand, but less so, because it's Rian Johnson this time. If you asked me to name a director capable of a sequel that's worthy of Empire, I'd say Rian Johnson. But pre-dooming a movie based on a trailer is probably never not going to be a thing the internet does, so here we go.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:37 AM on October 10, 2017 [18 favorites]

When I saw Carrie Fisher, it was such a jolt. I hadn't read much about it and didn't realize she'd already been filmed for this. I miss her so much!
posted by pangolin party at 5:57 AM on October 10, 2017 [9 favorites]

That opening. I can't help going, "When I found you... unemployed... in Greenland!"
posted by Naberius at 6:15 AM on October 10, 2017 [12 favorites]

tbh, Blade Runner 2049 has made me a lot less excited about Star Wars sequels. I realized how good The Force Awakens could have been if the director had as much swagger and courage as he had respect for the original(s). Also realized that Harrison Ford can (and does) still act.

Which means that my decision to avoid watching this trailer is easier than it would have been otherwise. I'll see see The Last Jedi as close to opening night (and most certainly again immediately afterward at least once) but I won't be as spoiled.

Reading comments about the trailer isn't the same as watching the trailer, right? ;)
posted by sirshannon at 6:21 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

They learn to break free from duality and embrace the Nuanced Side of The Force.

That, along with "the Jedi must end" would be an interesting path to take, because it would be something new*. It would also be in line with a more Hindu-Buddhist approach to suffering and duality, which could help reconcile with some of the Taoist stuff that Lucas cribbed for the first series (Yoda as master, force =chi, etc.)

I mean, if you can overcome that duality, that yin and yang, you can end all these Star Wars.

*yes i know gray jedi hush now
posted by leotrotsky at 6:39 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

Boo porgs. Also Chewie looked like CGI and not a guy in a Chewie suit, WTF?
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:40 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

This one I kind of understand, but less so, because it's Rian Johnson this time. If you asked me to name a director capable of a sequel that's worthy of Empire, I'd say Rian Johnson.

I get the sense that nobody outside of dedicated indie-film and sci-fi genre fans even know who Johnson is, or are familiar with his previous film and TV work. Hopefully that's going to change sometime in the next two months.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:44 AM on October 10, 2017

The trailer isn’t that good for me because it utterly fails to capitalize on the chemistry between its 3 leads. That’s what sold TFA for me, despite the many absurd plotholes.

Plus it has too much of the angry boy. You had Han Solo and Leia as Parents, Chewieas an uncle and you whined about that?! It’sAnakun all over again.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:19 AM on October 10, 2017 [3 favorites]

Hermione Granger - you know someone else complained about sand.

I mean, it is just so coarse. And it gets everywhere....
posted by theartandsound at 7:22 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

The actually did the Prog practically by mutating an owl.
posted by Artw at 7:31 AM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

Luke's robot hand would be a super pain-in-the-ass to clean. Did he get a Transformer from the Bay-verse to build that for him?
posted by fimbulvetr at 7:32 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

The trailer isn’t that good for me because it utterly fails to capitalize on the chemistry between its 3 leads . . . Plus it has too much of the angry boy.

Exactly. TFA had incredible chemistry among the leads. And also, diversity, and that's important to me. I don't trust white men not to make things about white men (see e.g. Rogue One which couldn't be bothered to have female scientists or Scariff volunteers). Ren is important but I don't want this to drift into being his story. On re-watch, there are some good Finn scenes, but I don't want him sidelined.
posted by Mavri at 7:34 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

Luke's robot hand would be a super pain-in-the-ass to clean.

nanodroids
posted by thelonius at 7:37 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Guys it's not a snow planet, it's crystalline. Hence the crystalline "foxes" and the crystal cave the Falcon is flying through is likely the same planet.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:37 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

Trailer breakdown here. Mild spoilers, much speculation. Wow.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:38 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

The "Last" Jedi
posted by jeff-o-matic at 7:59 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Be right back, need to wrap my arms in ace bandages.
posted by medusa at 8:02 AM on October 10, 2017 [3 favorites]

You have your totally badass heroine who is role model to many, and her main line in the trailer is “I need someone to show me my place in all this.”

Say whut now?
posted by chavenet at 8:05 AM on October 10, 2017 [6 favorites]

A-also, the Porgs are obviously Millennial Falcons
posted by chavenet at 8:21 AM on October 10, 2017 [7 favorites]

The Porgs are a transparent, obvious attempt to sell toys to make a bunch of dough on the merchandising end.
And it's gonna work because I'm gonna get me a whole flock of those little space penguins.

I mean, yeah. I love me some Beep-Beep-8, and these Porgs basically seem like the latest incarnation. Sign me up for cute shit in my Star Wars movies, especially if it makes the edgelords uncomfortable enough to stay at home. (It won't, but a guy can dream.)

IIRC the trailers for The Force Awakens were shot before some basic plot elements were settled, and actually included scenes we didn't see in the release.

At their very best, trailers can only ever be mood pieces that communicate the feelings the thing being advertised wants to invoke. (At worst, of course, they're full of lies.) So personally I'm not worried about spoilers in a trailer of all things, because it's how the full 2+ hour spectacle plays out that really interests me anyway.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:44 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

Condiligrade walkers!
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:45 AM on October 10, 2017

Jar-Jar sucked because he said idiot things when he spoke. And made it racist or whatever. Ditto Ewoks.

Chewbacca appears quite competent and never said anything dumb. If he did, only Han understood it. George Lucas actually sucks and just got lucky with Chewbacca.

I'd think Porgs will do okay if they do not speak intelligibly, but do display competence, like say smuggling small shit around space stations, assassinating people with poison bird poop, sabotaging shit, or whatever.

We'd all love to see cute little assassins climbing through vents to get to the storms troopers kitchen to deliver their deadly does of bird poo.
posted by jeffburdges at 8:46 AM on October 10, 2017 [10 favorites]

The Porgs are a transparent, obvious attempt to sell toys to make a bunch of dough on the merchandising end.

Look, give them a break, they've got to find something to make merchandise from in this film full of action heroes, laser swords, and spaceships.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:49 AM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

Does Luke have a lisp now?
posted by minsies at 8:53 AM on October 10, 2017

I am a Star Wars.
posted by Fizz at 8:55 AM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

I want the Porgs to be master tacticians. A little manic and jumpy at times, but with a level of spatial, temporal, and situational awareness unmatched by any other known species. Utterly remorseless in the use of vanguard ships in large battles, ruthless in exploiting even the most minor of openings. They live to be out numbered, surrounded by enemy forces, directing a delicately balanced maelstrom of death and fire. To fight under a Porg is to know that you have put your life in the wing stubs of an uncaring god, but also to know that your cause has a true chance at victory.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 9:04 AM on October 10, 2017 [28 favorites]

Ned Pyle (@nerdPyle) on Twitter: omg you guys, did you listen to the new Jedi trailer alternate sound track yet?
posted by jazon at 9:08 AM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

Jar-Jar sucked because he said idiot things when he spoke. And made it racist or whatever. Ditto Ewoks.

I've said this before, but... here's the thing about Ewoks. Jedi was made while the US was deep, deep into the freakout/"stabbed in the back"- myth phase of recovering from the end of Vietnam; I mean, look at all of the American action movies of the 80s that are about refighting Vietnam BUT THIS TIME WE GET TO WIN. In that context, Lucas tosses out the Ewoks. The Ewoks are canny jungle fighters who overwhelm a vastly superior conventional force with their guerilla tactics and knowledge of the terrain. They look like teddy bears, but George Lucas (awesomely) straight-up managed to trick enormous American audiences into openly rooting for barely-coded stand-ins for the Viet Cong. I don't know how you can't just be in awe of the chutzpah there. I'm dead serious about this; it's barely subtext.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 9:18 AM on October 10, 2017 [40 favorites]

Porgs aren't Ewoks because they aren't big enough to eat you or poke you with a spear. Although a tiny Porg with a spear would be adorable.

Oh and I already knew about Porgs thanks to the Star Wars Blips series which I can't believe you nerds don't know about.

Sometimes you know you're being manipulated with cuteness and you don't care, ok?

Anyway, I think the Rey/Kylo handshake thing is either a trailer fakeout, or, Rey is manipulating him to learn more about the Dark Side. She's already, without training, repelled his mind-mojo. She's stronger than him. But Luke can only teach her so much (and appears to be all kinds of fucked up; poor Luke!) and if we're going toward a Gray Jedi setup, she only has one Dark Force person she can talk to.

But then she will get stuck with his creepy The Scream-face master dude and will be over her head, but then something dramatic will happen--though probably not till the next movie.

Anyway, Porgs: my kid already wants one.
posted by emjaybee at 9:21 AM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

The Porgs are a transparent, obvious attempt to sell toys to make a bunch of dough on the merchandising end.
And it's gonna work because I'm gonna get me a whole flock of those little space penguins.

I'm going to buy one and stuff it with the innards of Paro the robot therapy seal, and let its animatronic cuteness break through the thick, black crust of my heart and into the chewy nougat centre where no-one ever goes.
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:21 AM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

I absolutely fucking love Luke as the old hippie who's cool to be around until he starts getting paranoid and losing his shit — Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed)

Also, there are Porg sightings in the wild.

I confess, I'm more interested in what Rian Johnson will do to Star Wars than Star Wars itself.
posted by Doktor Zed at 9:33 AM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

I want the Porgs to be master tacticians. A little manic and jumpy at times, but with a level of spatial, temporal, and situational awareness unmatched by any other known species.

I feel like Phantom Menace tried to do this with the Gungans but failed miserably. I mean, they fought off the Trade Federation's drone armies pretty well.

So I feel like that could go badly...

But I still want to see a Porg dreadnought (sized like a standard starfighter, naturally, but crewed by several dozen Porg) tear some TIE fighters apart.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:37 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

Alright I'll buy that Ewoks do sound clever as a Vietcong analog.

Aren't there already brilliant strategist races in Star Wars? I think a tiny cute non-talking bird might make a poor approach there.

I suppose the Porgs could be inherently force obfuscating or whatever, so that they help hide ships or people from powerful force users, so maybe even like tribbles but useful, but the coolest role would be saboteurs and bird poo assassins.
posted by jeffburdges at 9:47 AM on October 10, 2017

My new band is The Porgs... we're doing covers of Pogues songs, song in Huttese in a Jizz style
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:59 AM on October 10, 2017 [6 favorites]

mah name iz porg
an wen i fly
i sit next to
dat wookie guy

sum fans hate me
an han iz ded
but im so cute
i'll rake in bred
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:08 AM on October 10, 2017 [28 favorites]

The Porgs are a transparent, obvious attempt to sell toys to make a bunch of dough on the merchandising end.
And it's gonna work because I'm gonna get me a whole flock of those little space penguins.

I saw some for sale at a Target about a month ago.

They wiggle.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:09 AM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

Snoke from a distant fire
posted by kirkaracha at 10:09 AM on October 10, 2017

I feel like Phantom Menace tried to do this with the Gungans but failed miserably.
So true, it is like even just thinking about Star Wars makes me derivative.
"...as if millions of original ideas suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 10:33 AM on October 10, 2017

My new band is The Porgs... we're doing covers of Pogues songs, song in Huttese in a Jizz style

I bet Kenobi would have been into it.

/sits back, lights up a deathstick, taps toes.
posted by Artw at 10:46 AM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

> I'm gonna repeat what I commented when the previous part came out. A Finn without a Jake? A Ren without a Stimpy? Pass.

It is my deepest hope that Kylo Ren takes the porg under his proverbial wing and renames it Stimpy.
posted by davelog at 11:03 AM on October 10, 2017 [9 favorites]

I just blew the trailer up to full screen 1080p and frame-by-frame'd the part with Chewie. I think it's just a sophisticated mask that hits close enough to the uncanny valley that it sort of looks CG.
posted by Fleebnork at 11:05 AM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

For those intrigued, the planet with the walkers (AT-M6s I think....), is called Crait. The white stuff is essentially salt, and Rian Johnson described the fox/wolf things as crystalline. I won't go deeper into Crait's history because it might lead to a minor spoiler to something that could be referenced in the movies, but feel free to MeFi mail me if you want the slightly more detailed information about it.

Chewie is still being played by a guy in a suit, though it's always possible some scenes might use a CGI stand in. In this case, it's the last time to see Peter Mayhew play the Wookiee, sharing time with Joonas Suotamo, similarly to how things were done in The Force Awakens. Suatamo will play Chewie exclusively in the Han Solo film and allegedly, also in Episode IX.

I'm pretty excited about the trailer and in Rian Johnson's direction. There was a definite level of misdirection in the trailer, such as the Kylo and Rey at the end, and the question of whom Snoke was even talking to (Rey?). Part of The Last Jedi, in term of how it lines up with Empire was setup by J.J. Abrams, placing Luke on a remote planet and sending a last hope for the Jedi to be instructed in the ways of the Force. The selection of Crait as a place for battle, a white landscape with walkers, well, that may have been more Johnson's direction there. Then we also have Poe Dameron's story, as well Finn's story (with Rose Tico!), which will separate it from Empire. None the less, but for certain outward similarities, same as for TFA, these aren't just remakes. They are films which are homages to the originals, but unique unto themselves when you look at them more closely.

BTW, you can buy your tickets now for opening night. :D
posted by Atreides at 11:06 AM on October 10, 2017 [6 favorites]

Also I found a photo of Chewie on set.
posted by Fleebnork at 11:10 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

They are films which are homages to the originals, but unique unto themselves when you look at them more closely.

I know a guy who was deeply involved with making the trailer for "The Force Awakens," and I interviewed him about it. I don't know yet if he worked on this one - I think he did - but some of what he said about the TFA trailer sounds relevant here:

Audiences are smart -- you don’t have to do much for them to understand, especially with something like Star Wars. All we really wanted to do was say, these are some of the old things that are back, that you love, and there’s new things coming as well that you’re going to fall in love with...

We just tried to be incredibly sparse. If there was a shot that didn’t feel integral or was piece of dialog that didn’t feel like it was telling a particularly important part of the story, then we took it out. We kept shrinking everything back to the most basic fundamental ideas that we thought people would be interested in or intrigued by. It’s really just less is more. For something that has a lot of built-in anticipation, the confidence of doing less shows. People can tell. People can tell when you’re overserving them or trying to convince them, and we resolved from very early on that we weren’t going to try to convince people, we were just gonna give them reasons to buy in on their own.

And then there was this:

This movie was kind of a reset, bringing people back to home, with what Star Wars has meant to people, and also saying, now that we have re-established the ties with the original world, and given some creatives to these new characters and introduced them, the story can go anywhere. The story can do anything. And it will...

I’m certainly aware of the progression of the trilogy. It is full of surprises and delightful things. Anybody who thinks they know what is going to happen will be pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

posted by martin q blank at 11:22 AM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

Forgot to mention, TFA did have at least one scene in the trailer that didn't make it in the film. Kylo stomping into the snow and igniting his lightsaber (and I can't remember if it was just not in the film or if it was a matter of his helmet being on or off).
posted by Atreides at 11:22 AM on October 10, 2017

I'm still hoping that Rey gets instruction in balancing the light and dark sides from a long-missing robot-handed Mace Windu with magnificent Frederick Douglass hair and beard.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:26 AM on October 10, 2017 [9 favorites]

If they really want to stir the pot they'll kill off Chewbacca.

They tried that in the no-longer-canon EU and people lost their everlovin' shit.
posted by lovecrafty at 11:30 AM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

it would be great if kyle ron's entire presence in the film were increasingly comical scenes of him stuck in a restroom aboard his ship
posted by poffin boffin at 11:43 AM on October 10, 2017 [17 favorites]

I'll feel the same way when it inevitably turns out she's Luke's, or Leia's, kid. Seriously, people who aren't anyone's kids can accomplish stuff too.

So BB-8 is the hero of the third movie, then.
posted by Gelatin at 11:47 AM on October 10, 2017

Boo porgs. Also Chewie looked like CGI and not a guy in a Chewie suit, WTF?

It's the Chewbacca Mask Woman
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:06 PM on October 10, 2017 [3 favorites]

I'm still hoping that Rey gets instruction in balancing the light and dark sides from a long-missing robot-handed Mace Windu with magnificent Frederick Douglass hair and beard.

ok now I'm hoping that, too
posted by the phlegmatic king at 12:08 PM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

Seriously, people who aren't anyone's kids can accomplish stuff too.

Well they do show that --- Anakin wasn't anyone special's kid (except maybe the force lol) and look what he accomplished!
posted by thefoxgod at 12:22 PM on October 10, 2017

Is Rey/Finn a pretty established ship/canon already? I am super down for this if only because it is laughably rare for a Hollywood movie to have a white woman date a black man. Even in space. Even Will Smith doesn't date non-Hispanic white women in movies.
posted by nakedmolerats at 12:32 PM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

Yes, Rey/Finn is pretty established ship.

So is Finn/Poe and Rey/Finn/Poe. Tumblr is a strange world my friend, tread carefully.

Nothing is concert in the movies though.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:48 PM on October 10, 2017 [3 favorites]

Boo porgs.

Oh, is that what we're doing today? We're gonna fight?
posted by azpenguin at 12:51 PM on October 10, 2017 [7 favorites]

Two porgs enter! One porg leaves!
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:20 PM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

Two porgs enter! They wiggle, giggle, and hug!
posted by The Tensor at 1:27 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Just watched it again, didn't hear "I've got a bad feeling about this." And that's okay.
posted by Caxton1476 at 1:31 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Well, this trailer has confirmed me for by having a calico porg with giant eyes that I now know what my cat would look like if she were alien. Lucasfilm, she'd like pizza money residuals for using her likeness.
posted by Kitteh at 1:33 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

According to my teenaged son, the Finn/Poe ship is officially called "StormPilot."

And both actors are on board and supportive if the third movie goes in that direction. That would be pretty freaking spectacular.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 1:38 PM on October 10, 2017 [10 favorites]

Just watched it again, didn't hear "I've got a bad feeling about this." And that's okay.

Oh, it'll be in there. Trust me.
posted by Atreides at 2:18 PM on October 10, 2017

TFA was a huge waste of every opportunity it had. Big new characters! became a stack of inexplicably motivated and implausibly behaving cast-by-number* cyphers -- at least the prequels tried with Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman and Liam Neeson. Reuniting the original trilogy stars! became fanboy stupidity with Harrison Ford, a few minutes of Carrie Fisher, and a few seconds of Mark Hamill. Great new plot! became the third rehash of destroy-the-death-star-to-frustrate-the-emperor prefaced by the fourth rehash of Tatooine adventures.

*It seems like someone actually thought a little bit about casting Adam Driver, so maybe a quarter-point added back.
posted by MattD at 2:26 PM on October 10, 2017 [3 favorites]

I'll feel the same way when it inevitably turns out she's Luke's, or Leia's, kid. Seriously, people who aren't anyone's kids can accomplish stuff too.
So BB-8 is the hero of the third movie, then.

I dunno. RD-D2 had sexy times with a Death Star. Have you seen what BB-8 looks like? I'm very suspicious of its parentage.
posted by lmfsilva at 2:30 PM on October 10, 2017 [11 favorites]

(I'm now wondering what the hell is a RD-D2 to have autocorrect kick in)
posted by lmfsilva at 2:41 PM on October 10, 2017

Boo porgs.

Oh, is that what we're doing today? We're gonna fight

Tell Starfleet: We have engaged...the porg.
posted by nubs at 4:19 PM on October 10, 2017 [5 favorites]

About a month ago there was a big merchandising push with the porgs and BB-8's evil twin and I was scrambling around looking for the trailer that must have been released to coincide with that. And now they finally released that trailer and I still didn't notice the evil BB-8 in it.
posted by ckape at 4:35 PM on October 10, 2017

You have some very fine people on both sides.

STAR WARS
Episode III
REVENGE OF THE SITH

War! The Republic is crumbling
under attacks by the ruthless
Sith Lord, Count Dooku.
There are heroes on both sides.
Evil is everywhere.

posted by radwolf76 at 4:49 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

In the 80s, I was a little girl who loved--nay, adored--Star Wars. I'm not really sure I can put into words the feeling of watching a Star Wars trailer where the hero, the main hero--the conflicted, powerful, potentially dangerous hero, the person the film titles allude to--is a woman. I'm kind of sad I had to wait this long, and I'm so happy for all the Star Wars loving little girls out here now.

It is such a treat to love Star Wars with my 11 year old daughter these days, in large part because of this. Nobody else in my immediate family (locally) is really into it, but my daughter and I have made it a tradition to go every year at Christmas together over the last few years. It has been the best to have a main character who is strong and compelling (and realistically conflicted) to whom my daughter can look up to as a hero figure. Not only is it a healthy representation for her as she grows up and comes into her own, but it makes us both love Star Wars together a bit more, and I feel very grateful for that. I mean, she's always loved Luke Skywalker, but she hasn't been compelled to have a poster of him on her wall (like I did as a kid). She does have one of Rey though being pretty awesome.
posted by SpacemanStix at 5:08 PM on October 10, 2017 [7 favorites]

War! The Republic is crumbling
under attacks by the ruthless
Sith Lord, Count Dooku.
There are heroes on both sides.
Evil is everywhere.

The cartoons kind of sort of bear this out. Certainly the conflict between both sides being a bit of a puppetshow and having their own shitbaggery. The heroes bit maybe less so.
posted by Artw at 5:12 PM on October 10, 2017

I remember loving Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars when it first ran. What other animated series are worth watching? Points for moral ambiguity and cool lightsaber battles.
posted by Telf at 5:46 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Just watched it again. I'm liking scared hermit Luke more each time.
posted by Funeral march of an old jawbone at 5:49 PM on October 10, 2017 [3 favorites]

Both the CGI clone wars and Rebels start out sort of okay and then become great.
posted by Artw at 5:51 PM on October 10, 2017 [2 favorites]

What other animated series are worth watching?

I haven't seen it, but Rebels is highly regarded.
posted by tobascodagama at 5:52 PM on October 10, 2017

CGI Clone Wars is pretty great. You will have many clone!feels if you watch.
posted by lovecrafty at 6:33 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Rebels is excellent overall, though like all animated shows it has its up and downs. I'm odd in that I actually like the guest appearances of Star Wars characters. But damn, it has my favorite depiction of Vader as a terrifying force of nature, and Darth Mal actually works as a Sith Lord should- cajoling, obsessive, full of hatred and ultimately weak.

Also notable in that there Rebels as often as not are on the defensive from the Empire, struggling to keep what they've earned. There's not tension in the last season than in the movies, IMO.
posted by happyroach at 6:41 PM on October 10, 2017

You know how nobody ever says anything about the Republic basically having an army of slaves? The cartoons are where you will find that all addressed.
posted by Artw at 6:47 PM on October 10, 2017 [6 favorites]

All y'all whining about TFA had your chance. It's a thing that happened and pretty much everybody loved it. The franchise can go about its business. Move along. Move along.

Why do we only get to see the ice and the sand planets

And swamp planets and gas planets and planets of dubious construction and ocean planets and city planets and multiple pastoral planets and an agrarian planet and volcano planets and island planets and stormy mountain planets and tropical beach planets and now salt planets what do you want a pony planet
posted by obiwanwasabi at 7:17 PM on October 10, 2017 [8 favorites]

I said this before Force Awakens, and I’ll say it again. If they make Luke into a bad guy...after all the shit I’ve put up with this last year...I will lose my fucking mind.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 7:19 PM on October 10, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm def going with weed dude per Saladin.
posted by Artw at 7:26 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

I think a compelling case can be made that Luke was being compelled to the dark side by episode VI. I wonder if his forced isolation, and his comments about not taking that kind of strength seriously before, are his admission to struggling with it and needing to reconfront it when Rey shows up. He thinks the force is too dangerous to embrace (and as such his comments about the Jedi needing to end) , based on his own experiences, but Kylo Ren forces the issue and brings him back in to train Rey. I wonder if we see a struggle and "redemption" cycle for Luke, although my guess is he never totally gave in, but still felt himself dangerous.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:00 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Star Wars For Milennials is apparently about trying to make sense of life once your parents have made a huge wreck of everything.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 8:40 PM on October 10, 2017 [9 favorites]

Just watched it again. I'm liking scared hermit Luke more each time.

No-one can forget the way he got into The Joker. He REALLY gets INTO a role.
posted by mikelieman at 10:30 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

p.org is still available, if you can give a good justification for owning it...
posted by BinaryApe at 10:32 PM on October 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

All y'all whining about TFA had your chance

This is a Rebellion isn’t it? WE REBEL.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:28 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

Actually it's a Resistance now, but that works too.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:30 AM on October 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

> "You know how nobody ever says anything about the Republic basically having an army of slaves? The cartoons are where you will find that all addressed."

For a second I got super-excited because I thought you were talking about droids but you just mean that weird thing where they cloned Django Reinhardt or whoever a million times, don't you.
posted by kyrademon at 2:36 AM on October 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

Centerist Darth

(Joke for niche audience of followers of UK politics twitter only)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:01 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

Gotta seriously start thinking about pre-Last Jedi prep... watch all of the Star Wars, all of the Stars Wars excluding the prequels, Force Awakens and Rogue One or just Force Awakens? (Also if it's a big rewatch... release order or chronological order?)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:09 AM on October 11, 2017

I'm def going with weed dude per Saladin

tbf the Force is already pretty much weed philosophy, and you know Hermit Luke didn’t walk onto that island without a couple bales of cheeba.
posted by uncleozzy at 3:11 AM on October 11, 2017

The Good Cinema in my town was sold out by the time I checked for midnight tickets yesterday, so I had to book at The Bad Cinema*. The good place was even doing a TFA/TLJ double bill starting at 9pm which would have been great if it wasn't in 3D. Can 3D just fuck off already, I thought we were over that.

(*has some shitty small screens with no indication, significantly more expensive**, and we once left before the film started because we got the unholy combination of tiny screen, rubbish all over the place, it was one hundred degrees for some reason, and it smelled awful)
(**they charge extra for big films like Star Wars! lol!)
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:49 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

Star Wars fans are pretty excited for The Last Jedi — but they’re REALLY excited for porgs
posted by octothorpe at 4:06 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

(**they charge extra for big films like Star Wars! lol!)

God do I resent the 'blockbuster bonus charge' that's added to just about everything in my local cinema except for some obscure art film that's been out for about 7 weeks in Screen 96 which is one rickety chair in front of a laptop screen.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:38 AM on October 11, 2017 [6 favorites]

Lotsa red in this trailer, huh?
posted by SPUTNIK at 5:49 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

I'd totally forgotten about Darth Emo until seeing him again in the trailer. I take Stonestock Relentless' point that Kylo Ren should be an interesting emotionally conflicted character. But the directing (or editing) of the last movie did not actually produce that.

Mostly I'm pissed at how manipulative the misdirection in this trailer is. "We're going to show you a bunch of scenes that suggest X and Y and Z; go nuts, fans!".
posted by Nelson at 5:55 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

Chewie and the Porgs is an upcoming young readers canon novel written by Kevin Shinick with illustrations by Fiona Hsieh. It will be published by Disney–Lucasfilm Press on December 15, 2017.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:05 AM on October 11, 2017

they cloned Django Reinhardt or whoever a million times, don't you.

that was Stevie Ray Vaughan
posted by thelonius at 6:09 AM on October 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

Chewie and the Porgs

I'm sensing a filk on Benny and the Jets:

Oh, but they're so spaced out, C-C-Chewie and the Porgs
posted by nubs at 6:15 AM on October 11, 2017 [4 favorites]

Chewie and the Porgs is ~~an upcoming young readers canon novel~~ my SWEU-themed fursuit nerd rock band
posted by uncleozzy at 6:19 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

I would totallly check out a David Attenborough-ish series about all the various animal species of the SW universe. Like hello, where do I send my money?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:28 AM on October 11, 2017 [5 favorites]

I demand JarJar as the first episode!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:34 AM on October 11, 2017

I realize they have to do something with Leia because of Carrie Fisher. I didn't realize I'd have a such an emotional reaction to the idea that Ren kills her. I don't like it at all. I'll admit it seeing her on the screen was hard enough and the tears started and now I'm actually crying.

I will always love you Carrie Fisher.

I'm now expecting to be a bawly faced mess in the theatre regardless of what the rest of the story is about.
posted by Jalliah at 6:50 AM on October 11, 2017 [6 favorites]

I didn't realize I'd have a such an emotional reaction to the idea that Ren kills her.

Yeah, I don't even the implication of that. It's going to be so odd to see her on screen, yet know she's dead. But they're going to have to kill the character off somehow, there's no way Leia would step down or back or go into hiding or retire.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:57 AM on October 11, 2017

It wouldn't matter how she died. I realized watching this that I would love for Leia's end story to be one where she goes off somewhere and lives off screen. It's unrealistic story wise. Having the character Leia die onscreen is going to be an emotional gut punch for me.
posted by Jalliah at 7:00 AM on October 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

I think a compelling case can be made that Luke was being compelled to the dark side by episode VI.

You see him drawing power from the dark side when Vader taunts him about his sister and Luke goes full rage attack on him. Only when he sees Vader's missing hand compared to his own cyborg hand does he back away from it. He definitely was tempted by it.

As Yoda told him, it's "faster, easier, more seductive." That will likely be part of Rey's journey. Being tempted by the dark side and having to deal with it.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:02 AM on October 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

Always had problems with that scene in ROTJ. If anyone deserves a beatdown, it's Vader. And it's not as if that would automatically make Luke evil and under the Emperor's spell. Just turn around and kick his ass too, then go home.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:05 AM on October 11, 2017

I don't think we're going to see Leia's death in LAST JEDI. The film was nearly done being edited at the time of her death - so all the scenes had been filmed, I think - and I swear I saw some kind of announcement after her death that they weren't going to change anything after the fact.

They're staying kind of mum about it, just saying, "Carrie receives a lovely send off...," however you want to construe that. It's speculation for all but those in the know at this point, but unless they recast Leia for Episode IX, what happens to the character at the end of The Last Jedi will pretty much remove her from the final chapter of this trilogy.

Just over two months to go. -_-

For those talking about Rebels, just a reminder, the show returns with back to back episodes next week!
posted by Atreides at 7:20 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

Yay!

Though- does that mean they are burning off the remaining eps?
posted by Artw at 7:31 AM on October 11, 2017

For those of us who were watching Legend of Korra, it definitely feels that way, but I don't think it's the case. I think it's the producers wanting to keep storylines together for a more enjoyable viewing experience, such as, for example, the first two episodes will be returning to Mandalore for that storyline from last season. Here's the viewing guide (they posted it after rumors about the airings).

The fact they're going to take the winter break and wrap things up next year (Januaryish), makes me believe that this isn't just a burn off so much as a decision was made to air the episodes in the most enjoyable format for the show's final season.
posted by Atreides at 8:11 AM on October 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

Well, fingers crossed.
posted by Artw at 8:44 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

Always had problems with that scene in ROTJ. If anyone deserves a beatdown, it's Vader. And it's not as if that would automatically make Luke evil and under the Emperor's spell. Just turn around and kick his ass too, then go home.

Maybe using enough of it to defeat Vader wasn't enough to turn him, but the dark side of the Force corrupts.

It's not about whether they deserve it, it's about calling on the dark side of the Force (evil) to give himself the power to do it. The Emperor wants him to do it, encourages him to do it, and applauds when he defeats Vader.

The Emperor knows better than anyone that using the dark side of the Force corrupts, and Luke would be twisted by it, if he hadn't backed away at that moment. Calling on enough power to defeat the Emperor would likely turn him.

The dark side is a bad drug, man.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:04 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

And furthermore, while I'm thinking about it, that is why Luke looks so traumatized in TLJ trailer. He has called upon the dark side, used it, felt it, saw it consume his nephew.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:11 AM on October 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

I think it's a flashback to Ren ~~killing the younglings~~ destroying Luke's Jedi training school and Luke crawling out of the rubble afterwards.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:25 AM on October 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

The dark side is a bad drug, man.

Luke touches the Dark Side well before his final confrontation with Vader & the Emperor - watch his entrance into Jabba's palace, where he uses the Force on some Gamorreans in a very Sith-like fashion. But is there truly a Dark Side/Light Side to the Force, or is it in the intent of the user - to use it for knowledge and defense, or for power and control?

Yoda advances the idea that "once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you, it will", but ROTJ proves that idea wrong (and hey, only the Sith deal in absolutes , Yoda). Luke certainly draws upon the Dark Side in his confrontation with the Emperor/Vader - he's goaded into it by both of them. But in the end, he steps back from it and lets it go; I've always thought that the moment Luke tossed away his lightsaber and stood defenseless before the Emperor is the moment a true Jedi actually appeared on screen - no weapons ("your weapons; you will not need them"), and trusting to the insight the Force has given him about his father.

Vader is the biggest example of Yoda being wrong about the Force; he's been using it for decades, and one choice allows him to change his path and be redeemed.

I'm hoping what we're about to learn in TLJ is that we've all been wrong this whole time; that the Force is much bigger than we thought and that the Light/Dark thing is too simplistic (which is hinted at in the first trailer).
posted by nubs at 9:30 AM on October 11, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm hoping what we're about to learn in TLJ is that we've all been wrong this whole time; that the Force is much bigger than we thought and that the Light/Dark thing is too simplistic (which is hinted at in the first trailer).

It's also been hinted at on Rebels. I think they're definitely headed in that direction.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:32 AM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

Luke touches the Dark Side well before his final confrontation with Vader & the Emperor - watch his entrance into Jabba's palace, where he uses the Force on some Gamorreans in a very Sith-like fashion.

I think this was just your standard Jedi mind trick, i.e., "Not the droids you're looking for." Flirting with the Dark Side in the duel with Vader, though, makes more sense, especially when a Sith Master is right behind you, "Good!"

Rebels has definitely probed the question of light vs dark, see the Bendu character (THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE), and had Ezra start slipping down that slope at the end of Season 2 and initially in the season premiere for 3.

An instructive book to pick up, if one desires it, is Dark Disciple by Christie Golden. It's adapted from about six scripts/episodic work for the planned next season of The Clone Wars, and has surfer-Jedi Quinlan Vos sent to train with Asajj Ventress in the powers of the Dark Side for the purpose of assassinating Count Dooku. Needless to say, it delves into tapping into the Dark Side and the dangers of being consumed by it. The book is considered canonical and definitely should be part of the conversation of where Lucasfilm is going with the idea of the Force. Not to mention, in extending other "alien" cultural ideas of the Force, you can see it appear in "Legend of the Lasat," an episode where you have a non-human reference how the Force is seen by their culture, including its different names for the light and dark side.

Go to material for the Light vs Dark Side would probably be:

The Clone Wars

The Mortis Arc - Where Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and Anakin, are drawn to a pocket universe created by/within the Force, where there are physical manifestations of the different aspects of the Force.
Training Savage Oppress Arc - We get to see Count Dooku train Savage Oppress to become his next apprentice to replace Ventress. So some Dark Side material there.
The Yoda Force Arc (Secret Missions/Season 6 of The Clone Wars) - Where Yoda is guided by contact with Qui-Gon Jinn to a mystical Force planet, complete with Force spirits/sprites/entities who help him begin his understanding of retaining one's identity within the Force after death.

Book(s)[open to suggestions!]?

Dark Disciple by Christie Golden -See above.

Rebels

Season One
"Gathering Forces" and "Path of the Jedi" - Ezra truly touches upon the Dark Side in the first episode and these two kind of first address the problem.
Season Two
"Shroud of Darkness" - Ezra has a sit down chat with vision Yoda about power and the Dark Side.
"Twilight of the Apprentice" - the season finale where Maul attempts to seduce Ezra and leads him into using the Dark Side to help find a Sith Holocron in a Sith Temple.
Season Three
"Steps into Shadow" - We see Ezra use the Dark Side and we're introduced to the Bendu, who talks about the Force with Kanan.

Then of course, you have the films with their interspersed commentary about the Force. Empire remains one of the best for Yoda's instruction of Luke, and Jedi has the aforementioned Palpatine chats trying to lure Luke over. The Prequel Trilogy has some snippets, such as Yoda's admonishments about the Dark Side, but probably Revenge of the Sith is the best, but for Palpatine's seduction of Anakin to the Dark Side, and how it corrupts the Jedi ~~Master~~ Knight. If anyone has any other suggestions, please toss them out there!
posted by Atreides at 10:28 AM on October 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

one choice allows him to change his path and be redeemed.

I don't think that invalidates the observation that it dominated his destiny, though.

My theory: when Luke said he'd seen that raw power before and didn't fear it enough, he wasn't talking about Ben, who is a strong enough force adept but no particular prodigy. He was talking about Rey, from the first time he trained her, before she rejected that training and went grey. Rey had the force vision of the Knights because she led them the day of the battle that destroyed the temple - she hadn't intended it to be a fight at all, simply a parting of ways, but of course Luke, with his dark/light view of the Force, could only see this as the preface to some great evil. He tried to restrain her and her followers; she and they defended themselves the best way they knew how. Only Ben remained loyal to Luke, and together they (barely) defeated the self-styled Knights of Ren. After the battle, Ben, being still true to the ideals Master Luke had taught him as "light," refused to see his former classmate killed. But Luke's decision to wipe Rey's memory and leave her stranded (on Jakku, though Ben knew not where) was effectively the same choice, morally. That is what made Ben turn away, seek a new path, decide that Grey Rey had been right after all. Putting on her mask was the obvious next step. And all of that is what left Luke haunted and feeling the Jedi must end, if he, a Jedi, were capable of fomenting such tragedies and committing such atrocities.

Of COURSE Luke is terrified when he sees her. And of course Kylo wants to help Rey become again what she once was. Perhaps realizing she will never be the same person he knew is what makes him smash the mask.
posted by solotoro at 11:37 AM on October 11, 2017 [2 favorites]

That's some big moves by an eight year old.
posted by Atreides at 12:14 PM on October 11, 2017 [4 favorites]

....a whole bunch of Star Wars canon reference...
posted by Atreides at 12:28 PM on October 11 [2 favorites +] [!]

Epony-confusing?
posted by notsnot at 1:00 PM on October 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

Luke touches the Dark Side well before his final confrontation with Vader & the Emperor - watch his entrance into Jabba's palace, where he uses the Force on some Gamorreans in a very Sith-like fashion.

I consider Tartakovski's Anakin Skywaker V.s Asajj Ventress to be the first time Luke flirts with the dark-side.

(also, first light-sabres in the rain )
posted by mikelieman at 1:52 PM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

I consider Tartakovski's Anakin Skywaker V.s Asajj Ventress to be the first time Luke flirts with the dark-side.

Um. What?

A fight the father had, is the first time the son flirts with the Dark Side? I don't follow.
posted by radwolf76 at 1:56 PM on October 11, 2017

Midichlorians.
posted by Artw at 1:58 PM on October 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

Ha! Is there a canonical timeline of the temple battle and when she came to Jakku? I was aware that could sink my theory, but my sole knowledge is watching TFA once plus these most recent trailers, so my memory does not include any precise knowledge of how long ago that battle was / how long Luke's been hiding, nor precisely how old Rey really is, or whether there's any independent verification that she was actually left on Jakku as a kid like she thinks.

There's an imprecise timeline that can be deciphered from what's been released. We have Bloodline by Claudia Gray set at 28 years after the Battle of Yavin (ABY - the completely random point that Star Wars uses for most of its chronology). That book is mainly about Leia as a senator and references how she had already sent Ben Solo to go live with Luke at the Jedi Temple. I think Ben was about 12ish? Then, we have The Force Awakens at 34 years after the Battle of Yavin, so it's a six year gap there when the Jedi Temple was attacked by Kylo and his Knights of Ren and when we meet all our new friends in the film. It's generally accepted that Rey being deposited on Jakku as a child is true, be it from her memory we see in her Force vision to the fact that the interior of her home is marked with days scratched off. Also, StarWars.com's short bio of her describes her growing up on Jakku.

That said, your theory about there being a past connection between the two is plausible and was something that was planned in the script for TFA. During her Force vision, she was supposed to see a dark haired boy at the end of a hallway (who was supposed to see her, too), but this didn't make it into the final version of the film - it did make it into the novelization since the author was given an earlier script to work from. I would not be shocked at all if there is some kind of connection between the pair.

I feel like it makes a lot of sense for Rey to have received some kind of training in the Force prior to her disposal on Jakku. But...given the age we see her in the vision of being left (8 - 10 tops) and the age she is in TFA (Wookieepedia has her at about 19 years old), it removes her from being at the Temple when it was attacked and destroyed. That throws into the air if she received any training and/or why/where she got it, if she got it, and so on.

Anyways, the takeaway is that the powers that be are leaving Luke's absence after the destruction of the Jedi Temple as actually not a very long one. I think maybe the Poe Dameron comic book might squeeze a little more info into how long he's been gone, as it covers (in part) when Leia assigns Poe to find Lor San Tekka (whom we meet at the very beginning of TFA, played by Max von Sydow), as it's believed he might know where Luke can be found.

Epony-confusing?

YES.
posted by Atreides at 1:58 PM on October 11, 2017 [3 favorites]

His name is a confusing word.
posted by Artw at 2:04 PM on October 11, 2017 [4 favorites]

Is there a canonical timeline of the temple battle and when she came to Jakku?

Piecing together some notes from some of the novels/comics:

-Rey is 19 turning 20 at the time of TFA, born 15 ABY (After the Battle of Yavin)
-TFA takes place 34 ABY
-Luke and Ben Solo were noted as training together in the novel Bloodline, about 6 years before TFA (28 ABY) ; so the fall of the temple & Luke's exile must be within the previous 5-6 years max;
-If the temple fell in the outside range of that estimate (6 years), Rey would have been about 13. But she looks much younger in the vision in TFA - I would say 7 or so, but certainly not any older than 9 or 10?

Basically, I'm having a hard time reconciling Rey's apparent age at the time of her vision of being left on Jakku in TFA, and her being present at Luke's new temple when it fell. (on preview, I see that Atreides has the same conclusion).

It's also possible that Rey was left on Jakku for some reason other than her scary, latent Force abilities. Or perhaps her family was scared by an attempt by Snoke to get her.

On a completely different note, is it wrong that after watching this trailer too many times that I've started becoming a bit of a Finn/Phasma shipper? I mean, I want to be on team Finn/Poe forever, but can I side ship?
posted by nubs at 2:17 PM on October 11, 2017 [4 favorites]

On a completely different note, is it wrong that after watching this trailer too many times that I've started becoming a bit of a Finn/Phasma shipper? I mean, I want to be on team Finn/Poe forever, but can I side ship?

It's an open ocean, friend, room for ships aplenty!
posted by Atreides at 2:20 PM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

I consider Tartakovski's Anakin Skywaker V.s Asajj Ventress yt to be the first time Luke flirts with the dark-side.

Note: Broken rocks.
posted by mikelieman at 2:24 PM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

A fight the father had, is the first time the son flirts with the Dark Side? I don't follow.

Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. The link I was thinking of was the broken rocks thing that I mentioned just above. My bad.
posted by mikelieman at 2:25 PM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

That Tartakovski's stuff is still the peak of the franchise, IMHO...
posted by mikelieman at 2:26 PM on October 11, 2017

It's still an awesome scene.
posted by Atreides at 2:26 PM on October 11, 2017

I'm going to guess that, while Ben probably thinks he wants to kill Leia, somebody else actually does it instead and he'll suddenly be all 'wait, what if I'm the bad guy?'

I don't see how you can come back from murdering both your parents in cold blood on separate occasions. Not in a way that's acceptable to an audience, anyways.

Then again Anakin murdered millions of people including personally murdering children and now he's a happy Force ghost* so I guess Jedi=Catholic.

(*Which raises the question of why Anakin's happy Force ghost hasn't turned up to Ben and said 'get your hand off it'. Not that Luke listened to Obi-Wan. Or Yoda.)
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:12 PM on October 11, 2017

That Tartakovski's stuff is still the peak of the franchise, IMHO...

You'll get no argument from me. I use a modified Machete Order for binge viewing, one that puts Tartakovski's Clone Wars between Episodes II and III to preserve the six act structure.
posted by radwolf76 at 9:14 PM on October 11, 2017 [1 favorite]

They say that Snoke can't be a giant now... but may be Ray gets big?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:18 AM on October 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

Do You Look at Porg?
Also Rule 34 is temporarily being violated with no actual hits for "porg porn" yet, maybe they'll beat StarWars to the screen though.
posted by jeffburdges at 5:46 AM on October 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

Be careful, in some listings Rule 35 requires anyone who points out a Rule 34 violation to correct the problem themselves. But you're off the hook, it's out there, you're just not using the right search terms. And in the first example I found, the poor fluffers even look appropriately scandalized to even find themselves in that situation.
posted by radwolf76 at 6:44 AM on October 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

"Porgs are great because they not only make a great Happy Meal toy, they are already being farmed for the McNuggets."
posted by jeffburdges at 6:45 AM on October 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

(remove from activity)
posted by EndsOfInvention at 7:27 AM on October 12, 2017 [4 favorites]

How did it come to this?
posted by nubs at 7:43 AM on October 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

The Porg-fleshlight: try spinning; that's a good trick!

My journey to the Dark Side is complete.
posted by nubs at 8:05 AM on October 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

As always with every Star Wars discussion, it ends up being boiled down to porgs and porn. -_-

I'm legit worried about what The Last Jedi trailer didn't show us. I mean, these people have been working on a movie with porgs in it for months. Who knows what became normalized for them in that time period.
posted by Atreides at 8:21 AM on October 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

Porgs... I feel like they're Li'l Sebastian and I'm Ben Wyatt. I mean, they're Li'l? They're cute, I guess?
posted by lovecrafty at 10:08 AM on October 12, 2017

Is there an analog of Rule 34 for sex toys? If it can be vaguely phallus shaped then someone has made a sex toy of it? I think porgs would qualify there too.

I'll tell you about the one time I considered making porn: I'd this idea of making a porn-o-tubby costume for burning man. It's easy, just take a teletubby costume/onsie but attach a cheap tablet over the screen and play porn on it. I figured displaying porn in public might be illegal in Nevada though, so maybe one needs "innocent porn" for this to work. And the obvious thematic way would be to get a bunch of teletubby onsies and film a teletubby dry humping orgy.
posted by jeffburdges at 10:49 AM on October 12, 2017

Shut up and take my money!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:52 AM on October 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

It is true; once we start down the path to the Dark Side, forever does it dominate the thread!
posted by nubs at 11:39 AM on October 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

The Dark Side is a Top!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:39 AM on October 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

"Maybe I should cheer you up. Would you like me to call you 'Master' again?" -- Luke's wife Mara Jade Skywalker, New Jedi Order: Destiny's Way, Legends Continuity
posted by radwolf76 at 12:08 PM on October 12, 2017

You know, I'm really kinda miffed that Burhanistan's porglight sounds like it is closer to being a product on the market at this point than my idea for a Sarlacc Slow Cooker.
posted by nubs at 1:25 PM on October 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

*shifts uncomfortably*

But anyway, back to the trailer......
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:32 PM on October 12, 2017 [5 favorites]

In an effort to get us back on topic, here are 69 photoshops with porgs.
posted by nubs at 1:58 PM on October 12, 2017 [3 favorites]

As I dreamt of returning to the Iowa State Fair and sampling deep fried porg on a stick (it was delicious), here are some recipes.
posted by Wordshore at 3:51 AM on October 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

And on twitter 'The greatest Star Wars product of all time.' is revealed
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:51 AM on October 14, 2017

It turns out that Snoke was Stewie Griffin all along.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:41 AM on October 14, 2017

And on twitter

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
posted by nubs at 8:55 AM on October 14, 2017 [2 favorites]

FYI, for those interested, Rebels returns today (as in, right now if you want to watch it online through DisneyXD or pay for it through streaming services), for its last season.
posted by Atreides at 8:03 AM on October 16, 2017 [2 favorites]

Sigh. Totes burning it off.
posted by Artw at 8:06 AM on October 16, 2017

69 photoshops with porgs.

*Three weeks later*

...n i c e...
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:37 AM on November 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

New trailer: "Awake"
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:28 AM on November 2, 2017 [4 favorites]

Rian Johnson to create new Star Wars trilogy.
posted by middleclasstool at 4:00 PM on November 9, 2017

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