May 10, 2002
10:40 AM   Subscribe

Hit The Secret Fun Spot for a concentrated dose of nostalgia and some reminiscing about pirates in advertising. It can be said without exaggeration that pirates are loved by everybody. The statement "all people love pirates more than they love their own families" is truthful, and without hyperbole. It boils down to a simple "if then" statement: "IF you are a living being on earth or otherwise, THEN you wholeheartedly adore pirates and all that is pirate related." So why are pirates rapidly falling out of mainstream advertising? It's enough to make your timbers shiver.
posted by euphorb (25 comments total)
Some great stuff on that site.

The Dig For Memories bit is great too.

Suckerman! The TreeTots! StarBlazers! Ah youth!
posted by Kafkaesque at 10:55 AM on May 10, 2002

He's right - I do love pirates more than my own family, and I wholeheartedly adore pirates and all that is pirate related! How does he know us so well? And yes, we have forgotten all about pirates and their amusing ability to pillage and plunder.

That was funny as hell. Can't wait to check out the rest of the site.
posted by iconomy at 10:58 AM on May 10, 2002

You know the best thing about pirates? "Booty." Go ahead. Say it. Say it out loud. Make your coworkers stare at you. "Booty." You can't help but smile.
posted by ColdChef at 11:00 AM on May 10, 2002

I loved my "Hugo: Man of a Thousand Faces" toy back in the day. Very few people seem to remember it but now I have proof of my childhood memories, which is nice.
posted by cowboy at 11:04 AM on May 10, 2002

That Marvin Glass stuff -- does it ever end? I think I clicked through 400 toys/games without looping back! I feel unworthy.

However, I would ask, in the future, that when writing about pirates (which we love, granted) that we all use html characters instead of graphics. Yow.
posted by luser at 11:54 AM on May 10, 2002

Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates

Q: What's a pirate's favorite aspect of computational linguistics?
A: PARRRsing sentences.

more at McSweeney's! (via haddock :)
posted by kliuless at 12:00 PM on May 10, 2002

I'd forgotten about the beloved Big Trak until seeing this site.

Ah youth indeed.
posted by swift at 12:01 PM on May 10, 2002

In Seattle? Apply to be a SeaFair Pirate if you can response to items such as "Briefly describe exactly why you want to be a pirate and what you feel being a Seattle Seafair Pirate is all about." More on applying.
posted by gluechunk at 12:09 PM on May 10, 2002

...and how could you all think the pirate thing is funny, but NOT think andrew is funny???? that's pure andrew.
posted by luser at 12:09 PM on May 10, 2002

hey, just saw this :)

shirt and no pants is filthy!
posted by kliuless at 12:34 PM on May 10, 2002

Hi. I'm Guybrush Threepwood, and I wanna be a pirate!
posted by moz at 12:45 PM on May 10, 2002

Wow, didn't care for the pirates link, but man the "dig for memories" pulled many from my personal pit o' repression.

Great link. I still want to find an online link for those "stretchy" monster/wrestler toys from the early/mid-80's, filled with the purple/pink goo-like gell...
posted by jkaczor at 1:02 PM on May 10, 2002

but man the "dig for memories" pulled many from my personal pit o' repression.

Made me almost want to cry *sniff*. Evoked that feeling of an era gone by - a place that only exists now in our collective memories. Excellent link.
posted by vacapinta at 1:27 PM on May 10, 2002

Stretch Armstrong?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:29 PM on May 10, 2002

oh man, mr_crash, you da man!

Yeah, hmmm, now I'm rememberring the ancient planet of the apes toys, the old gi joes', man oh man, and "era gone by".

I wonder if my daughter will ever recall her toys as fondly 29 years from now? Doubtful, it took alot to really maim poor "Stretch", whereas my daughters' "Poochi" lasted all of 5 minutes before she poured sand in it's head, and shorted it out... I'm not even going to go down the path of describing "parkinson's" inter"spastic" Barney...
posted by jkaczor at 1:42 PM on May 10, 2002

Someone mentioned it in MeTa awhile ago, but the "Retro Hell" book is pretty good at listing/describing lots of pop culture things from the '70s and '80s. Better than digging up memories via 600K of Flash.
posted by gluechunk at 1:49 PM on May 10, 2002

Chock full of piratey goodness. Arrrrrr.
posted by davidmsc at 2:25 PM on May 10, 2002

Don't forget Pimps at Sea. I'm not holding my breath for this one, since the page was last updated 4/1/02.
posted by Eamon at 2:35 PM on May 10, 2002

I had completely forgotten about the Cinnamon Crunch pirate until just now.

Re:Stretch Armstrong. A buddy of mine put his in the freezer for a week then threw it off the roof to see it break into a million pieces-except for the head, which probably roams the earth to this day.
posted by jonmc at 2:49 PM on May 10, 2002

My name is Brad and I can't stop thinking about pirates. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
posted by bradlauster at 3:09 PM on May 10, 2002

Not really related to the article, but isn't it ironic that the only professional sports team named "Pirates" plays in Pittsburgh PA -- a state with no coastline.

Or perhaps are they referring to river pirates?
posted by clevershark at 7:01 PM on May 10, 2002

clevershark, there are the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, which is close, but you did say "professional" and there's some dispute as to whether they qualify.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:07 PM on May 10, 2002

Which calls to mind the old (I think) Benny Hill line - "Oooh, a band of pirates! And where are your buccaneers?"

"Well, they're under me buckin 'at, aren't they?"
posted by yhbc at 7:40 PM on May 10, 2002

the only professional sports team named "Pirates" plays in Pittsburgh PA -- a state with no coastline.

You're also forgetting the Portland Pirates AHL hockey team in Maine.
Piracy on ice! Ahoy, mateys!

PS. I want one of these so bad it hurts.
posted by jonmc at 8:46 PM on May 10, 2002

I love this site. Even the Christian e-cards he designed. What's with that?
posted by elgoose at 9:19 AM on May 11, 2002

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