Poldark: Ranking the Show’s Best Sex Stares
November 15, 2017 12:51 PM   Subscribe

"Poldark is ostensibly a soap opera about eighteenth-century copper mining, but, in reality, it is a show about hot people staring at one another to a soundtrack of melancholy orchestral whining and the ceaseless crashing of waves upon the Cornish beach. Sometimes the hot people are staring at each other in anger over the glaring economic and political disparities of Georgian England, and sometimes they are staring at one another in sadness over babies dead of putrid throat or peasants crushed in mine collapses. But mostly, they are just looking at each other because they want to fuck."
posted by blithers (16 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
in reality, it is a show about hot people staring at one another to a soundtrack of melancholy orchestral whining and the ceaseless crashing of waves upon the Cornish beach

Yes, it is. Oh, yes.
posted by SLC Mom at 12:57 PM on November 15, 2017 [8 favorites]


"Yes, George Warleggen looks like a Forever 21 reproduction of Hugh Grant with none of the stuttering charm"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA never have truer words been written!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:58 PM on November 15, 2017 [4 favorites]


"But mostly, they are just looking at each other because they want to fuck."

So one of my instructors in acting conservatory was Irma Saundrey (whom I've just now learned passed away last year). Irma had also been a dancer, and had a dancer's petite frame, a dancer's air of gentility, and a dancer's elegant gestures.

Irma also gave this exact note to scene students about 95% of the time, if it was a scene between a man and a woman, in these exact words. "You see," she would say - gesturing elegantly as she did - "the thing we need to get about your characters is, they are horny as hell and they want to fuck."

I absolutely loved her for it. Because 95% of the time she was spot-on.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:17 PM on November 15, 2017 [11 favorites]


"its audience: ... PBS viewers ages 30-100."

So sort of a niche audience, then?
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:21 PM on November 15, 2017 [2 favorites]


Pfft; my generation had Robin Ellis and Angharad Rees …
posted by scruss at 3:00 PM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]


Wait, why isn't Demelza Poledark on this list? She has some pretty serious Sex Stares throughout the show (especially during the infamous scything scene).

Only dudes can have Sex Stares, I guess.
posted by k8bot at 3:25 PM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]


Okay it's good to to know that this show is as absolutely ridiculous as its smoldering trailers imply.
posted by Think_Long at 3:42 PM on November 15, 2017 [1 favorite]


I feel like half the plot of this show could have been averted if Poldark had just gotten drunk and made out with the junior Warleggan. Such thirst.

Also I always say this show has A-roll, B-roll, and C-roll--"c" being for "cliffs," and filming horses galloping along them urgently.
posted by praemunire at 3:46 PM on November 15, 2017


I had no idea that 18th century copper miners had such titillating sex lives.
posted by elsietheeel at 3:47 PM on November 15, 2017


I had no idea that I was so bad at reading human facial expressions. "Confused", "confused and pouty about it" or "confused and childishly enthused" would have been my descriptions.

Oh well, cis men are not generally my demographic, so I don't really need to understand their sex-seeking expressions. But still - "I am confused and my jaw is hanging open" does not make me want to hook up.
posted by Frowner at 4:44 PM on November 15, 2017 [1 favorite]


Season 3 of Poldark needs less moping, less of Demelza's brothers, and way more shirtless reaping. (The cliffs and horses galloping can stay).
posted by TwoStride at 7:05 PM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]


Irma also gave this exact note to scene students about 95% of the time, if it was a scene between a man and a woman, in these exact words. "You see," she would say - gesturing elegantly as she did - "the thing we need to get about your characters is, they are horny as hell and they want to fuck."

I have to ask: did this apply to characters that were biologically related?
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:47 PM on November 15, 2017


I've never seen the new Poldark (I have only vague recollections of the shouty '70s version) but I enjoyed the turns of phrase in this article, especially "...the gluttonous way he looks at a filled pair of stockings is an insult to foot fetishists, feet, women, and Anglicans".
posted by misteraitch at 12:10 AM on November 16, 2017 [1 favorite]


I narrowly managed to get through the first season in between my own ceaseless jibes at the cinematography, which reminds me of nothing so much as pharmaceutical commercials. Every slow orange close-up of grass would have me saying stuff like "Now there's Warleggin" and "Ask your doctor if Demelza is right for you."
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 5:22 AM on November 16, 2017 [7 favorites]


Poldark is gloriously old-fashioned in that it is a dumb, melodramatic show featuring good-looking people (but with modern standards for good looks, which kick the crap out of 1970s BBC standards, sorry). I would never watch it by myself, seriously, but it's great for social watching, preferably with intoxicants. I don't even mean that in an MST3K "ironic consumption of the bad" way. It's not truly a bad show, just a very dumb one that knows how to push a lot of well-worn buttons with a decent amount of style.
posted by praemunire at 10:23 AM on November 16, 2017 [2 favorites]


Poldark is a blast despite its limitations . Probably one of the most fun things we watch together in my house. Also we call George "evil Roger Daltrey". Elizabeth is "British Julie Hagerty."
posted by freecellwizard at 10:38 AM on December 4, 2017


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