The only review of the film Baby Driver you'll ever need.
November 17, 2017 8:37 AM   Subscribe

In which science-fiction author and sometime game writer Chuck Wendig's review of the car-chase crime movie Baby Driver goes off on an unexpected detour, thanks to fantasy author Sam Skykes: in Storify version and original flavor Twitter. (previously)

With a surprise guest appearance by Metafilter's own Jscalzi.
posted by Doktor Zed (40 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm rattled.
posted by Artw at 8:42 AM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


man i thought for easily a full month that this was a movie like baby geniuses or boss baby
posted by poffin boffin at 8:46 AM on November 17, 2017 [14 favorites]


(Bursts through a window)

(Slams down file of baby recipies)

LET'S DO THIS
Not gonna lie, I laughed out loud.
posted by dendritejungle at 8:53 AM on November 17, 2017 [10 favorites]


If I taught improv, I'd hold this up as an excellent illustration of how to do "yes, and."
posted by dywypi at 8:57 AM on November 17, 2017 [11 favorites]


I still don't see what Mr. Wendig's modest proposal will do for the plight of starving Irish beggars.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:58 AM on November 17, 2017 [7 favorites]


I really enjoyed Baby Driver until there was so much extreme murdering. It honestly detracted from the fun heisty, chasyness for me. Then it turned out creepy Kevin Spacey's creepy older guy trapping teen boy character was just him playing himself again! Which also brings the whole thing down. Also, unpopular opinion, I think Jon Hamm is no that great an actor. He seemed just like Mad Men guy with tattoos in this. But anyway, yeah, eating babies.
posted by latkes at 9:09 AM on November 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


I enjoyed every second of Baby Driver, and I always enjoy Jamie Foxx, I particularly enjoyed the sweet little love story parked in the middle of the mayhem, and the driving, the merger of the one red car into the three or four, genius. Mr. Spacey did a great job of being creepy, seems that comes naturally. I thought the cast was great. I was just thinking about this film, yesterday, and thinking I might do a rerun.
posted by Oyéah at 9:18 AM on November 17, 2017 [5 favorites]


I really enjoyed Baby Driver until there was so much extreme murdering.

I enjoyed every second of Baby Driver, and I always enjoy Jamie Foxx, I particularly enjoyed the sweet little love story parked in the middle of the mayhem, and the driving, the merger of the one red car into the three or four, genius.

Guys, I think you're talking about the popular recent heist movie Baby Eater. Baby Driver's pretty clearly described in the context of TFA.
posted by ambrosen at 9:30 AM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


Babycakes
posted by jazon at 9:31 AM on November 17, 2017


I too enjoyed watching this film within the window in which it was possible to enjoy Kevin Spacey's performance in it.
posted by Artw at 9:34 AM on November 17, 2017 [17 favorites]


I really enjoyed Baby Driver until there was so much extreme murdering

I didn't mind the murdering but don't think I can see the film again because it is about Kevin Spacey bullying and manipulating a young man into doing criminal things.
posted by maxsparber at 9:39 AM on November 17, 2017 [6 favorites]


I would watch Scalzi cook a baby, though. Like, in a Britain's Great Home Chefs sort of thing.
posted by maxsparber at 9:39 AM on November 17, 2017


Also previously
posted by drlith at 9:44 AM on November 17, 2017


I Ioved it because I'm from Atlanta and could recognize so much of my old home in it that I kept yelling out familiar locations, much to the annoyance of my spouse. (We did not see it in the theater.)
posted by Kitteh at 9:54 AM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


I enjoyed the twitter exchange way more than I enjoyed the actual film, honestly.
posted by kyrademon at 9:55 AM on November 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


Baby Driver 2 is just Ansel Elgort running Kevin Spacey over then backing over him, then repeating endlessly, while several dozen men look on nodding grimly.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:57 AM on November 17, 2017 [12 favorites]


Edgar Wright is a hell of a craftsperson as a director and any fan of old Walter Hill movies is a friend of mine but this movie was a lot of skill applied to a pretty schematic story. Also the third act went off the rails almost as much as Sunshine's but the walk for coffee at the beginning was probably worth the price of admission.
posted by octothorpe at 10:00 AM on November 17, 2017 [6 favorites]


I liked the part where Baby Driver was filmed and took place in an Atlanta that literally me nor none of my other friends who live here are able to recognize as a whole

just like little elements of Atlanta in there that say 'hey this exists' and then a subterranean fictive city much like Pawnee, IN or Canada
posted by runt at 10:03 AM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Wait, I thought Baby Driver was just an even smaller version of Mini Driver. I mean, Minnie Driver.
posted by adamrice at 10:11 AM on November 17, 2017 [10 favorites]


I Ioved it because I'm from Atlanta and could recognize so much of my old home in it that I kept yelling out familiar locations, much to the annoyance of my spouse. (We did not see it in the theater.)
posted by Kitteh at 11:54 AM on November 17 [1 favorite +] [!]


I liked the part where Baby Driver was filmed and took place in an Atlanta that literally me nor none of my other friends who live here are able to recognize as a whole

just like little elements of Atlanta in there that say 'hey this exists' and then a subterranean fictive city much like Pawnee, IN or Canada
posted by runt at 12:03 PM on November 17 [+] [!]


In conclusion, Atlanta is a land of contrasts
posted by dismas at 10:14 AM on November 17, 2017 [10 favorites]


I enjoyed both the movie and the twitter exchange, but reading the twitter exchange made me think of how much chris onstad influenced how a bunch of us talk

like man I aint gonna lie they tend to frown on that such of behavior
posted by dismas at 10:15 AM on November 17, 2017 [12 favorites]


WHY WAS SCALZI CELEBRATING CAPS LOCK DAY EARLY?
posted by TedW at 10:43 AM on November 17, 2017


SCALZI IS A MONSTER FOR CELEBRATING CAPS LOCK DAY AT THE WRONG TIME!

I AGREE! HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE THOSE TWEETS SO PROVOCATIVE BY WRITING THEM IN ALL CAPS!!!
posted by ambrosen at 10:52 AM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


maxsparber: I would watch Scalzi cook a baby, though. Like, in a Britain's Great Home Chefs sort of thing

Would it be a cool ranch baby?
posted by tzikeh at 11:18 AM on November 17, 2017 [4 favorites]


This also works as an Achewood transcript, with Chuck as Teodor, Sam as roast beef, and J as RAY
posted by Jeego at 11:26 AM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


Didn't like the murdery bits, but I discovered that if you watch it as a dance film and ignore the plot and dialogue, it's super enjoyable.
Also Jamie Foxx was really scary as a psychopath.
What an awesome actor.
Also, eating babies: still bad or a grammarian nightmare, you decide!
posted by evilDoug at 11:50 AM on November 17, 2017


I only got around to watching BD after this Kevin Spacey stuff came out, and it is indeed cathartic to watch him get run over several times.

Does anyone know if these baby recipies still work if you substitute, say, pork? I'm not sure if I want to spend my limited spare time procuring babies
posted by Berreggnog at 11:51 AM on November 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


I used to love eating babies until I learned how they're raised. They're not free-range, as I'd assumed; the babies are trapped in tiny "playpens". It's cruel but that's why they're so tender and succulent.

As Chuck suggests, because of over-population many states and provinces allow strictly licensed baby hunting for brief periods each year, usually around October. You'd think wild babies would be a bit tough and gamey, but since they're not yet ambulatory they're actually pretty tasty.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 12:15 PM on November 17, 2017 [5 favorites]


I for one am disappointed that MeFi's own Jscalzi did not make a burrito with babies.
posted by Ber at 12:21 PM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: This also works as an Achewood transcript.
posted by sourcequench at 12:25 PM on November 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


Anyone else not able to read the title 'Baby Driver' without hearing Ronnie James Dio's voice in their head scream-singing it to the tune of "Holy Diver"?
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:29 PM on November 17, 2017 [3 favorites]


"You want babies? We got babies on racks! They taste of chicken."
posted by DrAstroZoom at 12:40 PM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


I for one am disappointed that MeFi's own Jscalzi did not make a burrito with babies.

Was just coming to say that I was quite surprised that jscalzi didn’t offer a baby burrito recipe.
posted by nubs at 1:32 PM on November 17, 2017


strictly licensed baby hunting for brief periods each year, usually around October

the drawstring bottoms on those Halloween costumes slow them down
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:36 PM on November 17, 2017


'Anyone else not able to read the title 'Baby Driver' without hearing Ronnie James Dio's voice in their head scream-singing it to the tune of "Holy Diver"? '

Well, sure, now . . .
posted by pt68 at 3:56 PM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Babies are only as beloved as they are because they can't do much. They're clumsy, can barely move. Far too dumb to act autonomously, them babies. Give them the strength and agility of chimps, and then how your goo goo da da crap get's you. That's when the horror show begins. Beware.

Very, very, ware.
posted by metagnathous at 5:41 PM on November 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


I accidentally left my baby out until it was a toddler.

Can I eat this?
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 6:12 PM on November 17, 2017 [8 favorites]


I would never eat a baby. A baby has no life experience. A baby does not even have the mental capacity to comprehend the horror of my eating it.

What even would be the point?
posted by Parasite Unseen at 7:51 PM on November 17, 2017 [2 favorites]


baby driver, bath survivor
you're the one who's clean

I am saving this for my toddler's next bathtime thanks atom eyes
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 8:30 PM on November 17, 2017


'Anyone else not able to read the title 'Baby Driver' without hearing Ronnie James Dio's voice in their head scream-singing it to the tune of "Holy Diver"? '

Good news, everyone!
posted by davejay at 10:44 PM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


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