We’re not that close, please don’t make me read this whole page
November 30, 2017 6:41 AM   Subscribe

So, You’d Like to Buy Your Loved One a Book? A flowchart from the New York Times Book Review
posted by not_the_water (28 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
[goes down Escapist and Imaginitive path; encounters only one work of fiction]
posted by uncleozzy at 6:52 AM on November 30, 2017 [17 favorites]


"What kind of fantasy does she like?"
-> "Comic mastermind" [What does that...]
-> History of Improv [The hell?]

Um, OK. I guess I'm done here.
posted by Tevin at 7:16 AM on November 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


That Paleoart book looks dope tho.
posted by phunniemee at 7:18 AM on November 30, 2017 [6 favorites]


The pronoun flipping is anice thought I guess, but wouldn't "they" work just as well? Or is it supposed to be significant?
posted by Artw at 7:53 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


I love books and everyone close to me knows it, but I have almost never read a book that someone has given to me as a gift (unless it was one that I had some input on). Book choices are too personal to be left in the hands of friends and relatives.
posted by OHenryPacey at 7:54 AM on November 30, 2017 [9 favorites]


In fairness to the lack of fiction I'm particularly choosy there and way less likely to read a gifted book.
posted by Artw at 7:56 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


The pronoun flipping is anice thought I guess, but wouldn't "they" work just as well?

The New York Times Has a Big Problem Using The Gender-Neutral Pronoun 'They' [Samantha Allen; The Daily Beast]
posted by melissasaurus at 8:16 AM on November 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


In fairness to the lack of fiction I'm particularly choosy there and way less likely to read a gifted book.

Yeah, that actually seems like a secretly brilliant move. Most fiction readers, I think, are extremely picky about what fiction they actually like and are also likely to own everything they think they're going to like already. So getting them related non-fiction stuff could definitely work.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:17 AM on November 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


Is Step 1 ask if they have already read it?

Is Step 2 ask if they would like it?

No? Then this ain't the chart you'd use for me.
posted by kyrademon at 8:21 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


I have on occasion been gifted a book that I actually read, but that was by someone with whom overlapping literary interests had already been established. Most of the books that I've been given, though, end up gathering dust on my shelf.
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:22 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


The simple answer is, "What book would you like for me to give you this holiday season?" An even simpler and somewhat more romantic answer is you two go to a bookstore together and each selects what they want. Then you turn your selection(s) over to the other who wraps them for the Great Unveiling. The appropriate response then is, "Oh! Just what I wanted!" A kiss is optional...
posted by jim in austin at 8:23 AM on November 30, 2017 [5 favorites]


Was slightly surprised when I scrolled back up to discover that this wasn't bylined by Peter Baker and Dylan Jones.
posted by Naberius at 8:23 AM on November 30, 2017


I just ordered a copy of the new translation of Homer’s “Odyssey”; when it arrives I shall wrap it, tag it and hand it to the mr for him to hand back to me when appropriate. I can safely predict that everyone will be happy.
posted by kinnakeet at 8:51 AM on November 30, 2017 [8 favorites]


Fun chart, disappointed that the picture is not clickable, and also, that it's not written out with links to each book like an article after the flowchart.

Thankfully, the NYT best books of 2017 links each book to a review with a note on publisher and price, and each review has a Buy button with different options in a dropdown.
posted by dreamling at 9:10 AM on November 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


That's a clever way to advertise the books of the season, but links from the book to any NYT reviews of said book would be even cleverer.

I have almost never read a book that someone has given to me as a gift (unless it was one that I had some input on)

I can't even think of many books I've received entirely out of the blue, but of the ones I have, it's probably about 50/50: OTOH, I've been given ponderous tomes like The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy (because, obviously, I would like something like that); OTO, I've been given books of the moment like Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, Bridget Jones' Diary and Eat, Pray, Love and actually enjoyed getting the opportunity to read them without having to shell out for them myself.

My parents always gave me books and they were usually remarkably on target, even if I said nothing at all. These days I just build Amazon lists and send that around at gift-buying times.
posted by octobersurprise at 9:11 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


Weird, I just gave a book as a birthday present (not to a loved one, but with seductive intent!) and nothing remotely like it appeared on this page: An Alphabet for Gourmets by MFK Fisher.
posted by kenko at 10:07 AM on November 30, 2017


America: the reading culture in which Alan Bennett somehow qualifies as way too serious
posted by RogerB at 10:25 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


An Alphabet for Gourmets by MFK Fisher.

MFK Fisher is the best gift.
posted by thivaia at 10:26 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


I think books, like clothing, often fall into the “just get a gift card” category. What a person likes is so subjective it is hard to guess. The only time my wife has gotten me books that were just what I wanted were the times when I pointed out to her EXACTLY what book I was interested in acquiring. As in, “here is a direct link to the sales page on the website offering that book I really wanted.”

Sometimes I even hesitate to mention a book, because there are so many different versions... it would be hard to receive a book only to have it be the wrong translation, or the wrong binding, or the wrong edition or revision, or the wrong publisher. Sometimes the words inside are the same, sometimes they are not. Sometimes you want it because of these reasons, but the gift giver can’t understand why these things are important so just opts for the one that is cheaper on Amazon. (99% of the gift books you will get are going to come from Amazon.) Sometimes Amazon doesn’t have the details on what the book truly is, or carries the wrong photo in the description (many books get lumped by title regardless of revision, edition, etc.) so it's impossible to know unless you’re obsessive about checking it.

And for a bibliophile, sometimes just looking for a book is part of the gift.

Find a good local bookstore. Bonus points for an independent bookstore. Ask for a gift card. Everyone wins.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:08 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]


I love buying people books as gifts. It's all right if they don't like them, or read them. If I buy you a book as a gift, it's because

(a) you're affluent enough that you're going to buy yourself anything you want that I could afford to give you

(b) a gift card is too impersonal

(c) with buying a book, I can at least send a message of "I know you well enough and am interested enough in the things you are interested in that I can buy you a thing that's relevant to your interests."

I am the poorest person in my nuclear family and the only gift-giving advantage I have over any of my family members is that I hear about a LOT of books in the course of my daily (ex-librarian, writer, MFA student) life and I can often usefully match people up with books they haven't heard of that they might like.

But the worry that I'm going to inadvertently give a passive-aggressive book always haunts me - the time I gave a book with terrible parenting in it to one of my own parents, the time I gave The Golden Compass to my youngest sister in her evangelical phase.
posted by Jeanne at 11:15 AM on November 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


If you want to buy me a book, just ask for my Amazon wish list. That will give you about 100 ideas, and you will already know I'm interested in it.
posted by ITravelMontana at 11:27 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


"What book do you want for Christmas?" ->They name a book ->Get them that one.
They don't know -> Haynes Ford Escort 1986-1989 Repair Manual
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:34 AM on November 30, 2017 [8 favorites]


I think giving nonfiction books on topics people are specifically interested in generally works. Specifically, though. A generic nonfiction book about some famous person or written by some famous person about how to Change Your Life or whatever is boring and tacky (unless your recipient is obsessed with said famous person, I guess). All Yesterdays for your biologist partner who has always loved dinosaurs and absolutely adores reading new speculative scientific work will probably be a good choice. Other well-received nonfiction gifts have been: The Way Things Work Now for my 12 year old brother who loves to take things apart and put them back together again, and Minecraft Modding in Forge for my 16 year old brother who loves Minecraft and coding and was interested in starting to make his own mods.

Hmm, looking at it, this technique may only work if your recipients are nerds.
And if you have a mother who can surreptitiously ask "hey [brother], do you know Java?" (to which he responds "how do you know what Java is, mom" so maybe not that surreptitious BUT HE DIDN'T GUESS WHAT I WAS GOING TO BUY HIM AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS).
posted by brook horse at 11:37 AM on November 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


One year my mother and I, entirely without discussion or coordination, gave each other the Great American Bathroom Books for Christmas.

I once saw Gnomes in a used bookstore, thought "My sister would really like that," bought it, and sent it to her. She laughed and laughed when she got it, mainly because (she claims) I had sent her the same book twenty years earlier and completely forgotten about it.
posted by Bruce H. at 12:09 PM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


I like shopping for my own books.

But I also like getting surprise books as gifts, which I didn't pick out from a list. I'm curious in general, and something random like the history and design of electric desk fans might turn out be pretty entertaining. Because of backlog it will probably be a couple of years before I get around to reading it, but I'm likely to enjoy it when I do.

Some of the best science fiction and fantasy books I've read were just random things my dad got me. Admittedly others weren't good, but his record at picking stuff based on titles and covers has been about on par with my own.
posted by Foosnark at 1:17 PM on November 30, 2017


> I once saw Gnomes in a used bookstore, thought "My sister would really like that," bought it, and sent it to her. She laughed and laughed when she got it, mainly because (she claims) I had sent her the same book twenty years earlier and completely forgotten about it

My son claims I've given him The Phantom Tollbooth three times. Your forgetfully giving the same book twice over twenty years seems okay; my son is only 15. (Obviously I'm regiving it to him it for Christmas this year.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:19 PM on November 30, 2017 [3 favorites]


I love getting surprise books. Anyone who knows me well enough to get me a present at all can probably make a decent guess at what might interest me, and it can be really good to be nudged into something I mightn't have picked out myself.
posted by tangerine at 4:44 PM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


My son claims I've given him The Phantom Tollbooth three times. Your forgetfully giving the same book twice over twenty years seems okay; my son is only 15.

I gave my brother the Kindle version of "What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions" as one of his birthday presents, and then completely forgot about it and gave him a hardback copy of the same book later that same year, for Christmas.I mean, his birthday is February, so I had a couple month gap to forget about it, but still.

When he mentioned I had already given it to him I was able fluster out "yes but now you have a PHYSICAL copy" while silently thanking god I had decided to also give him a different science book along with it (as I had been planning on giving it to him for his next birthday, but was too excited about it and just decided to give him an extra Christmas present instead).

Anyway I asked my doctor to up my ADHD meds after that.
posted by brook horse at 7:56 PM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


« Older Message in^H^H on a memory card   |   At first I thought you were simply taking a break Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments