[Puts down snifter]
December 12, 2017 9:41 AM Subscribe
As a fan of Red Dwarf, the very concept of an appliance brand called SMEG is terribly, terribly amusing.
posted by SansPoint at 9:50 AM on December 12, 2017 [32 favorites]
posted by SansPoint at 9:50 AM on December 12, 2017 [32 favorites]
Amy Sedaris has a SMEG fridge in her lifestyle show sendup At Home with Amy Sedaris, and I honestly thought it was a super dirty sight gag until I googled it.
posted by roger ackroyd at 9:57 AM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by roger ackroyd at 9:57 AM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
: "As a fan of Red Dwarf, the very concept of an appliance brand called SMEG is terribly, terribly amusing."
First thing that went through my mind too.
Sooo good, unlike the listed products...
posted by Samizdata at 9:59 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
First thing that went through my mind too.
Sooo good, unlike the listed products...
posted by Samizdata at 9:59 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
I am bereft of words, so here is a google image search link that accurately represents my response to the mystery wine box that is the "virtual sommelier."
posted by yasaman at 10:00 AM on December 12, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by yasaman at 10:00 AM on December 12, 2017 [5 favorites]
The cookie pistol broke me, and I had to wait until I could control my giggles to finish reading it. "My most delicious mistake"
posted by gladly at 10:00 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by gladly at 10:00 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
I am a Jew, and have therefore consumed a considerable share of latkes in my time, whether humble boxed Manischewitz or full-bore delicatessen. And yet, I have neither experienced nor seen nor even heard of something called "latke starter" before. It does not help that the top Google search results all lead back to a) the Williams-Sonoma catalog, b) pinterest pins of the Williams-Sonoma catalog, or c) people using latke starter purchased from the Williams-Sonoma catalog. I have concerns.
posted by thomas j wise at 10:02 AM on December 12, 2017 [25 favorites]
posted by thomas j wise at 10:02 AM on December 12, 2017 [25 favorites]
It looks like the "latke starter" is just dehydrated chopped onion and garlic with some dried herbs. Hell, you could make that yourself.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:06 AM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:06 AM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
Latke Starter?
No indication if the product is kosher?
posted by zarq at 10:09 AM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
No indication if the product is kosher?
posted by zarq at 10:09 AM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!
posted by sunset in snow country at 10:10 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by sunset in snow country at 10:10 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
These disappointed me the past two years, mainly because I love Drew's writing and they have seemed kind of throwaway for him, and this year he takes a controversial anti-fondue stance, but hey... he won me over with that hamper bit.
posted by queensissy at 10:10 AM on December 12, 2017
posted by queensissy at 10:10 AM on December 12, 2017
...otherwise I consider the Boska legacy sullied.
This is how I am going to end every request I make from now on.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:10 AM on December 12, 2017 [5 favorites]
This is how I am going to end every request I make from now on.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:10 AM on December 12, 2017 [5 favorites]
No indication if the [latke starter] is kosher?
This is a catalog put together by WASPs. Of course they wouldn't remember to figure out whether it was kosher.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:13 AM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
This is a catalog put together by WASPs. Of course they wouldn't remember to figure out whether it was kosher.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:13 AM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
It looks like the "latke starter" is just dehydrated chopped onion and garlic with some dried herbs. Hell, you could make that yourself.
Ingredients:
Potato starch
baking powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate, cornstarch, monocalcium phosphate)
kosher salt
freeze-dried white onion
freeze-dried shallots
freeze-dried chives
freeze-dried parsley
black pepper
There's nothing offensive here, although personally I think shallots on top of onions is overdoing it. But if you're already buying and grating potatoes, how hard is it really to buy and do the rest of the ingredients? It isn't that much more time consuming.
posted by zarq at 10:13 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
Ingredients:
Potato starch
baking powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate, cornstarch, monocalcium phosphate)
kosher salt
freeze-dried white onion
freeze-dried shallots
freeze-dried chives
freeze-dried parsley
black pepper
There's nothing offensive here, although personally I think shallots on top of onions is overdoing it. But if you're already buying and grating potatoes, how hard is it really to buy and do the rest of the ingredients? It isn't that much more time consuming.
posted by zarq at 10:13 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
But if you're already buying and grating potatoes, how hard is it really to buy and do the rest of the ingredients? It isn't that much more time consuming.
Precisely.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:15 AM on December 12, 2017
Precisely.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:15 AM on December 12, 2017
What's with the wine coming out of that magical aeration device? Did they Photoshop it to look like it was mixing the wine with....air? Water? Aether? Spangler brand candy canes?
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:15 AM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:15 AM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
Plainly I am lacking in crass. I used to have a weakness for Williams Sonoma, and thought it to have what I needed to properly manifest. Long ago, it must be, I have a tablecloth...
posted by Oyéah at 10:16 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Oyéah at 10:16 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
queensissy: "These disappointed me the past two years, mainly because I love Drew's writing and they have seemed kind of throwaway for him"
I feel Drew has gotten tired of his regularly scheduled pieces (this, the NFL Jambaroo, etc.), and he does better in his less programmed stuff. I'd probably feel the same in his shoes.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:23 AM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
I feel Drew has gotten tired of his regularly scheduled pieces (this, the NFL Jambaroo, etc.), and he does better in his less programmed stuff. I'd probably feel the same in his shoes.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:23 AM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
This is a catalog put together by WASPs. Of course they wouldn't remember to figure out whether it was kosher.
Yeah, it's interesting. Their kugel is sourced from Linda's Latkes, which is Star-K kosher -- a newer certfication that some people follow and some won't. But the Williams-Sonoma people don't bother to say anything about it on their website.
Also this description:
If you've ever attended a Jewish celebration, you may have tasted this holiday specialty, a baked noodle casserole that's sweet, creamy and comforting. Linda's Latkes prepares this traditional dish according to a treasured family recipe, with tender egg noodles, cream cheese, sour cream, seedless blackberry preserves and a hint of cinnamon. A sprinkling of corn flake topping adds a delightful crunch. Serve it chilled or warmed at holiday celebrations – it may be just as good (or dare we say, even better) than Bubbe used to make.
I'm sure it's delicious and all, but I've never even seen a kugel with a "corn flake topping."
Also, "If you've ever attended" is kinda funny. They definitely know their audience.
posted by zarq at 10:27 AM on December 12, 2017 [22 favorites]
Yeah, it's interesting. Their kugel is sourced from Linda's Latkes, which is Star-K kosher -- a newer certfication that some people follow and some won't. But the Williams-Sonoma people don't bother to say anything about it on their website.
Also this description:
If you've ever attended a Jewish celebration, you may have tasted this holiday specialty, a baked noodle casserole that's sweet, creamy and comforting. Linda's Latkes prepares this traditional dish according to a treasured family recipe, with tender egg noodles, cream cheese, sour cream, seedless blackberry preserves and a hint of cinnamon. A sprinkling of corn flake topping adds a delightful crunch. Serve it chilled or warmed at holiday celebrations – it may be just as good (or dare we say, even better) than Bubbe used to make.
I'm sure it's delicious and all, but I've never even seen a kugel with a "corn flake topping."
Also, "If you've ever attended" is kinda funny. They definitely know their audience.
posted by zarq at 10:27 AM on December 12, 2017 [22 favorites]
"The totality of the Chesapeake Bay coastline" love this take.
posted by Oyéah at 10:35 AM on December 12, 2017
posted by Oyéah at 10:35 AM on December 12, 2017
I'm going to be spending Christmas day solo this year, and have already decided that one aspect of the day will be two days of pure unfettered culinary indulgence, and I'm getting the meal planning in place (sausage and egg casserole for breakfast, lamb shank and roast veg for dinner, kedgeree for breakfast on the 26th, a cheese and charcuterie platter for nibbling throughout...)
One thing I want to have is a selection of chocolate and mint things to nibble on, including a chocolate mint cake hanging around for me to cut slices off when I want. I was debating breaking down and going to Williams-Sonoma for a package of their bark and some "peppermint snow" to decorate that with.
Then I remembered that "peppermint snow" is simply a handful of candy canes thrown into a food processor, and the "peppermint bark" is simply a handful of candy canes thrown into a food processor and sprinkled on top of some melted chocolate that's been spread in a pan.
Screw them, I'll make that myself.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:35 AM on December 12, 2017 [10 favorites]
One thing I want to have is a selection of chocolate and mint things to nibble on, including a chocolate mint cake hanging around for me to cut slices off when I want. I was debating breaking down and going to Williams-Sonoma for a package of their bark and some "peppermint snow" to decorate that with.
Then I remembered that "peppermint snow" is simply a handful of candy canes thrown into a food processor, and the "peppermint bark" is simply a handful of candy canes thrown into a food processor and sprinkled on top of some melted chocolate that's been spread in a pan.
Screw them, I'll make that myself.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:35 AM on December 12, 2017 [10 favorites]
Then I remembered that "peppermint snow" is simply a handful of candy canes thrown into a food processor, and the "peppermint bark" is simply a handful of candy canes thrown into a food processor and sprinkled on top of some melted chocolate that's been spread in a pan.
Screw them, I'll make that myself.
Just remember that mint extract and peppermint extract are two very different things, unlike my, uh, friend (DEFINITELY NOT ME) who ended up makingpeppermint bark that tasted like some kind of herbal remedy.
And speaking of mix-ups, I always forget that Drew Magary and Drew "Toothpaste for Dinner" Fairweather are two different people.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 10:49 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
Screw them, I'll make that myself.
Just remember that mint extract and peppermint extract are two very different things, unlike my, uh, friend (DEFINITELY NOT ME) who ended up making
And speaking of mix-ups, I always forget that Drew Magary and Drew "Toothpaste for Dinner" Fairweather are two different people.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 10:49 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
Making cocoa in a SMEG and dropping a floater in it was the killer for me.
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:50 AM on December 12, 2017 [19 favorites]
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:50 AM on December 12, 2017 [19 favorites]
Also, "If you've ever attended" is kinda funny.
"as a modern and stylish individual you may actually know a jew irl"
posted by poffin boffin at 10:58 AM on December 12, 2017 [31 favorites]
"as a modern and stylish individual you may actually know a jew irl"
posted by poffin boffin at 10:58 AM on December 12, 2017 [31 favorites]
I'm sure it's delicious and all, but I've never even seen a kugel with a "corn flake topping."
I'm pretty sure my (really lovely) Midwestern, goyishe mother-in-law suggested this to me once. There was a lot of blinking on my part.
The reviews for the latke starter indicate that people are not, in fact, using it for latkes.
posted by damayanti at 11:01 AM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm pretty sure my (really lovely) Midwestern, goyishe mother-in-law suggested this to me once. There was a lot of blinking on my part.
The reviews for the latke starter indicate that people are not, in fact, using it for latkes.
posted by damayanti at 11:01 AM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
S M E G
posted by phunniemee at 11:05 AM on December 12, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 11:05 AM on December 12, 2017 [9 favorites]
If that was a middling performance, I'd love to read his previous reviews. I hope my co-workers were not startled by my cackling.
posted by corvikate at 11:08 AM on December 12, 2017
posted by corvikate at 11:08 AM on December 12, 2017
They're linked in the FPP!
posted by Chrysostom at 11:10 AM on December 12, 2017
posted by Chrysostom at 11:10 AM on December 12, 2017
I'm pretty sure my (really lovely) Midwestern, goyishe mother-in-law suggested this to me once. There was a lot of blinking on my part.
I have fallen down a rabbit hole of kugel recipes on Google. Apparently lots and lots of recipes suggest a corn flake topping. One even suggests Frosted Flakes!
I've never heard of this. Fascinating.
posted by zarq at 11:11 AM on December 12, 2017
I have fallen down a rabbit hole of kugel recipes on Google. Apparently lots and lots of recipes suggest a corn flake topping. One even suggests Frosted Flakes!
I've never heard of this. Fascinating.
posted by zarq at 11:11 AM on December 12, 2017
I think this one doesn't feel as decadent as previous years, which is weird, all things 2017 considered.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:12 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by poffin boffin at 11:12 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
no wait i'm thinking of that other thing where you could buy a falcon hunting playset for a cool half mil
posted by poffin boffin at 11:13 AM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 11:13 AM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
Came in to say a neighbor of mine is one of the photographers for Williams-Sonoma, including the food shots. And sometimes there are leftovers..... these Halloween cupcakes were delicious......even if they did change my poop to being dark green for about a week.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:15 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:15 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
Price: $16.95
Copy: “Vibrant mix of cherry, pomegranate, and citrus.”
Seventeen dollars for a bottle of Trisha Yearwood-branded Ocean Spray?
No thanks, I just had a Tanya Tucker Snapple.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:25 AM on December 12, 2017 [7 favorites]
Copy: “Vibrant mix of cherry, pomegranate, and citrus.”
Seventeen dollars for a bottle of Trisha Yearwood-branded Ocean Spray?
No thanks, I just had a Tanya Tucker Snapple.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:25 AM on December 12, 2017 [7 favorites]
LATKE STARTER
It's not a fucking sourdough.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:26 AM on December 12, 2017 [8 favorites]
It's not a fucking sourdough.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:26 AM on December 12, 2017 [8 favorites]
This is a catalog put together by WASPs. Of course they wouldn't remember to figure out whether it was kosher.
Maybe, but it's clearly not for WASPs, it's for status-anxious folks with too much money.
WASPs serve slices of cheddar with plain saltines on 75 year old plates, garnished with nothing and served with gin.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:28 AM on December 12, 2017 [26 favorites]
Maybe, but it's clearly not for WASPs, it's for status-anxious folks with too much money.
WASPs serve slices of cheddar with plain saltines on 75 year old plates, garnished with nothing and served with gin.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:28 AM on December 12, 2017 [26 favorites]
Very funny. But he's wrong about fondue. Deeply wrong.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:29 AM on December 12, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:29 AM on December 12, 2017 [7 favorites]
I won't buy it for fear of divorce, but ... I have been on the Jura mailing list for a long time now (thanks to my dearly beloved Capresso machine with integrated conical burr grinder!) and I have to say I always get the urge to spring for one of the super auto espresso machines.
Damn... if I ever hit the lotto* I'm getting one
*will never happen because the odds are against me, although I suspect actually buying a ticket would improve my odds somewhat over the current 0% chance
posted by caution live frogs at 11:31 AM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
Damn... if I ever hit the lotto* I'm getting one
*will never happen because the odds are against me, although I suspect actually buying a ticket would improve my odds somewhat over the current 0% chance
posted by caution live frogs at 11:31 AM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
I love fondue. I hope it comes back with a vengeance, and I would eat it multiple times a week. But I'm not going to pay $150 for a pot to melt cheese in.
posted by Foosnark at 11:34 AM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Foosnark at 11:34 AM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
But I'm not going to pay $150 for a pot to melt cheese in.
No, because you can find a fondue pot at virtually any second hand store you care to go into for under $10.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:37 AM on December 12, 2017 [10 favorites]
No, because you can find a fondue pot at virtually any second hand store you care to go into for under $10.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:37 AM on December 12, 2017 [10 favorites]
If anyone is looking to purchase supplies for their kitchen I have two magic words that will save you untold dollars over your lifetime: "restaurant supply."
posted by leotrotsky at 11:38 AM on December 12, 2017 [17 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 11:38 AM on December 12, 2017 [17 favorites]
caution live frogs: "*will never happen because the odds are against me, although I suspect actually buying a ticket would improve my odds somewhat over the current 0% chance"
Not to a first approximation, no.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:54 AM on December 12, 2017 [6 favorites]
Not to a first approximation, no.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:54 AM on December 12, 2017 [6 favorites]
I'm not going to pay $150 for a pot to melt cheese in.
Well, good news! There’s another one for $400.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:55 AM on December 12, 2017 [6 favorites]
Well, good news! There’s another one for $400.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:55 AM on December 12, 2017 [6 favorites]
My grandma puts cornflakes on her kugel, which also involves canned apricots. It is my all-time favorite comfort food.
posted by nonasuch at 11:55 AM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by nonasuch at 11:55 AM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
But he's wrong about fondue. Deeply wrong.
Seriously. Who hurt him so badly that he hates delicious melty cheese?
I made Mom hand me down her vintage 60s fondue set. I have to get the turntable base fixed first, but I swear I'm gonna have a fondue party sometime this winter.
posted by dnash at 11:56 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
Seriously. Who hurt him so badly that he hates delicious melty cheese?
I made Mom hand me down her vintage 60s fondue set. I have to get the turntable base fixed first, but I swear I'm gonna have a fondue party sometime this winter.
posted by dnash at 11:56 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
I hate to admit it, but I just scored a gift idea for my in-laws by reading this.
posted by slogger at 11:56 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by slogger at 11:56 AM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
Potato starch
baking powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate, cornstarch, monocalcium phosphate)
kosher salt
freeze-dried white onion
freeze-dried shallots
freeze-dried chives
freeze-dried parsley
black pepper
So the potato starch I guess is taking the place of flour or matzo meal. Salt & pepper you presumably already have, probably baking powder also. You might also already have onion powder for the onion & shallots. And chives and parsley lose all their flavor when dried so you really ought to be chopping those fresh.
posted by dnash at 12:05 PM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
baking powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate, cornstarch, monocalcium phosphate)
kosher salt
freeze-dried white onion
freeze-dried shallots
freeze-dried chives
freeze-dried parsley
black pepper
So the potato starch I guess is taking the place of flour or matzo meal. Salt & pepper you presumably already have, probably baking powder also. You might also already have onion powder for the onion & shallots. And chives and parsley lose all their flavor when dried so you really ought to be chopping those fresh.
posted by dnash at 12:05 PM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
I hate to admit it, but I just scored a gift idea for my in-laws by reading this.
I love the Hater's Guide and am really excited when it comes out every year, but I also like Williams Sonoma. The point of Williams Sonoma is that everything they sell is a little too luxurious to justify buying for yourself, which makes it the perfect gift for "that person who has everything" (often one's in-laws).
posted by capricorn at 12:10 PM on December 12, 2017 [5 favorites]
I love the Hater's Guide and am really excited when it comes out every year, but I also like Williams Sonoma. The point of Williams Sonoma is that everything they sell is a little too luxurious to justify buying for yourself, which makes it the perfect gift for "that person who has everything" (often one's in-laws).
posted by capricorn at 12:10 PM on December 12, 2017 [5 favorites]
I have a fondue pot that just... existed in a cabinet in a previous shared apartment. No one who lived there knew where it was from. I took it when I left and, 4+ years on, have never even plugged it in.
posted by showbiz_liz at 12:14 PM on December 12, 2017
posted by showbiz_liz at 12:14 PM on December 12, 2017
It looks like the "latke starter" is just dehydrated chopped onion and garlic with some dried herbs.
(coincidentally, also the contents of the virtual sommelier machine.)
posted by wibari at 12:30 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
(coincidentally, also the contents of the virtual sommelier machine.)
posted by wibari at 12:30 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
He's right about the prime rib.
posted by kenko at 12:59 PM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by kenko at 12:59 PM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
Ah, the pizza oven. Which reaches 930°F (499°C). In your home kitchen. I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:02 PM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:02 PM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
I cracked up about the espresso machine needing to dispense bitcoins for that price.
posted by gryphonlover at 1:06 PM on December 12, 2017
posted by gryphonlover at 1:06 PM on December 12, 2017
Yay! My favorite part of Williams Sonoma is this article! Haven't read it yet, but very excited!
posted by Sophie1 at 1:11 PM on December 12, 2017
posted by Sophie1 at 1:11 PM on December 12, 2017
Are people trying to have a fondue revival? Without macramé, what's the point?
posted by thelonius at 1:13 PM on December 12, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 1:13 PM on December 12, 2017 [9 favorites]
We have a somehwat similar, $3000 coffee machine by that same company in our office. There are some serious caffiends among the engineers. It makes acceptable ristretto, espresso, lattes etc. but the "regular" coffee is just sort of odd.
I bet I could gather support for a petition to supply us with cold brew coffee.
posted by Foosnark at 1:20 PM on December 12, 2017
I bet I could gather support for a petition to supply us with cold brew coffee.
posted by Foosnark at 1:20 PM on December 12, 2017
Are people trying to have a fondue revival?
Apparently, the Culture is super into it right now.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:23 PM on December 12, 2017
Apparently, the Culture is super into it right now.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:23 PM on December 12, 2017
It looks like the "latke starter" is just dehydrated chopped onion and garlic with some dried herbs.
When I saw the latke starter I said to myself, "I bet it's potato starch" and sure nuff, a little Googling proved it to be so. There's something to be said for being able to buy a SMALL quantity of potato starch, since most boxes seem huge and I use it exactly once per year and then it's left for the moths to get into, so I have to buy a new box every year and would be wasting roughly the same amount of money on the Williams-Sonoma jar.
The dehydrated onions bother me, though, because why in the name of G*d would you not use freshly grated onions in latkes?
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:40 PM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
When I saw the latke starter I said to myself, "I bet it's potato starch" and sure nuff, a little Googling proved it to be so. There's something to be said for being able to buy a SMALL quantity of potato starch, since most boxes seem huge and I use it exactly once per year and then it's left for the moths to get into, so I have to buy a new box every year and would be wasting roughly the same amount of money on the Williams-Sonoma jar.
The dehydrated onions bother me, though, because why in the name of G*d would you not use freshly grated onions in latkes?
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:40 PM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
I have a fondue pot . . . have never even plugged it in
You don't have a fondue pot. It's not a real fondue pot unless it involves a Sterno can.
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:42 PM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
You don't have a fondue pot. It's not a real fondue pot unless it involves a Sterno can.
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:42 PM on December 12, 2017 [11 favorites]
My favourite thing of the year!
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:49 PM on December 12, 2017
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:49 PM on December 12, 2017
But is the Wineroo virtual sommelier programmed to sneer superciliously when you press the button for a glass of shitty Chardonnay?
posted by KateViolet at 1:54 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by KateViolet at 1:54 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
The Serious Eats recipe for Latkes uses potato starch liberated from the potatoes themsevles as part of the binding agent (along with Matzo meal and eggs).
posted by mmascolino at 1:56 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by mmascolino at 1:56 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
Are people trying to have a fondue revival?
That implies that it died or faded at some point or is in need of a being revived (presumably from a cheese coma). It has never needed revival in my heart! MOLTEN CHEESE 4EVA!
posted by Ashwagandha at 2:10 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
That implies that it died or faded at some point or is in need of a being revived (presumably from a cheese coma). It has never needed revival in my heart! MOLTEN CHEESE 4EVA!
posted by Ashwagandha at 2:10 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
I hate-read the kugel and latke snark to my wife, as one does, and she pointed out that:
a) I don't attend many (e.g.) Thai or Arab celebrations so what am I doing complaining about treating Jews like some sort of weird foreign culture. Everybody has their own circle.
b) Yes, this stuff is exoticised and overpriced but it's like the joke with the herring, you're smarter already.
posted by Joe in Australia at 2:48 PM on December 12, 2017
a) I don't attend many (e.g.) Thai or Arab celebrations so what am I doing complaining about treating Jews like some sort of weird foreign culture. Everybody has their own circle.
b) Yes, this stuff is exoticised and overpriced but it's like the joke with the herring, you're smarter already.
posted by Joe in Australia at 2:48 PM on December 12, 2017
Are people trying to have a fondue revival?
Apparently, the Culture is super into it right now.
Something something "GSV Hot Melty Gravitas"
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:59 PM on December 12, 2017 [10 favorites]
Apparently, the Culture is super into it right now.
Something something "GSV Hot Melty Gravitas"
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:59 PM on December 12, 2017 [10 favorites]
Ah, the pizza oven. Which reaches 930°F (499°C). In your home kitchen. I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong.
I think, although I'm not sure, that it's meant to be a sort of grill accessory, in that you'd use it outside, presumably hooked up to a 20-lb bulk propane tank.
I have a feeling that it's basically nothing but a "banjo burner" (think the thing under a turkey fryer) set beneath a big aluminum or steel plate, which gets rocket hot, and then a dome to contain the heat somewhat.
I'm not going to lie, I kinda want one. Not at those prices, but maybe when I see one at a thrift store—which, lets face it, is where these things are all going to end up eventually, when the primary owners get sick of storing them after using them twice and they need to clean out that third garage bay for the that new Volkswagen Jetta, because their kid's turning 16 next month and it's about time to stop driving the little fucker around—I'll pick one up.
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:01 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
I think, although I'm not sure, that it's meant to be a sort of grill accessory, in that you'd use it outside, presumably hooked up to a 20-lb bulk propane tank.
I have a feeling that it's basically nothing but a "banjo burner" (think the thing under a turkey fryer) set beneath a big aluminum or steel plate, which gets rocket hot, and then a dome to contain the heat somewhat.
I'm not going to lie, I kinda want one. Not at those prices, but maybe when I see one at a thrift store—which, lets face it, is where these things are all going to end up eventually, when the primary owners get sick of storing them after using them twice and they need to clean out that third garage bay for the that new Volkswagen Jetta, because their kid's turning 16 next month and it's about time to stop driving the little fucker around—I'll pick one up.
posted by Kadin2048 at 3:01 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
Apparently, the Culture is super into it right now.
I gotta get around to reading those Iain M. Banks novels. Is there a new one?
posted by thelonius at 3:16 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
I gotta get around to reading those Iain M. Banks novels. Is there a new one?
posted by thelonius at 3:16 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
Star-K kosher -- a newer certfication that some people follow and some won't.
Good news! Star-K is part of the Vaad of Baltimore - it's been around for at least 50 years and is pretty much universally accepted. (Baltimore is considered pretty hardcore in Ortho circles, FWIW) < / superjew> < / not one of Roy Moore's attorneys>
posted by Mchelly at 3:27 PM on December 12, 2017 [5 favorites]
Good news! Star-K is part of the Vaad of Baltimore - it's been around for at least 50 years and is pretty much universally accepted. (Baltimore is considered pretty hardcore in Ortho circles, FWIW) < / superjew> < / not one of Roy Moore's attorneys>
posted by Mchelly at 3:27 PM on December 12, 2017 [5 favorites]
I gotta get around to reading those Iain M. Banks novels. Is there a new one?
Well, he died four years ago....
posted by Chrysostom at 3:30 PM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
Well, he died four years ago....
posted by Chrysostom at 3:30 PM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
Worked for Kafka!
posted by rhizome at 3:45 PM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 3:45 PM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
But he's wrong about fondue. Deeply wrong.
Agreed. And bay leaves. He is also wrong about bay leaves.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 3:52 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
Agreed. And bay leaves. He is also wrong about bay leaves.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 3:52 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
I also find the article less funny than previous years. I used to hate on people for wasting money on frivolous products, but these days we need any scrap of happiness we can find. My hate has been replaced with pity. Like leotrotsky alluded to, most people buying this stuff are probably one medical disaster or drug addiction away from poverty. Don't blame the customer, or the company -- blame the decades of capitalist propaganda and policy that created them.
posted by scose at 4:28 PM on December 12, 2017
posted by scose at 4:28 PM on December 12, 2017
I gotta give mad -but appalled- props to the article's author for his creative use of the word Santorum. I may never grate another potato because of that.
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 4:35 PM on December 12, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 4:35 PM on December 12, 2017 [9 favorites]
IT'S HERE IT'S HERE!
posted by jameaterblues at 4:41 PM on December 12, 2017
posted by jameaterblues at 4:41 PM on December 12, 2017
He is also wrong about bay leaves.
He's wrong about their uselessness. He's not wrong that he could dry them and sell them at a massive profit.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:00 PM on December 12, 2017 [6 favorites]
He's wrong about their uselessness. He's not wrong that he could dry them and sell them at a massive profit.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:00 PM on December 12, 2017 [6 favorites]
As always, Williams Sonoma’s goal in selling you high end dessert firearms is so you can win your cookie swap. For the non-WASPS reading this, a cookie swap is when a bunch of suburban ladies get together, trade cookies, and then take those cookies home and silently judge one another’s character solely based on cookie quality.
I am guilty of this mindset toward any event where I have to bring a food. I can only apologize.
posted by pemberkins at 5:05 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
I am guilty of this mindset toward any event where I have to bring a food. I can only apologize.
posted by pemberkins at 5:05 PM on December 12, 2017 [4 favorites]
It makes acceptable ristretto
i misread that as risotto and it seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing for it to do as well as a perfectly reasonable office expense.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:28 PM on December 12, 2017 [8 favorites]
i misread that as risotto and it seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing for it to do as well as a perfectly reasonable office expense.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:28 PM on December 12, 2017 [8 favorites]
"peppermint bark" is simply a handful of candy canes thrown into a food processor and sprinkled on top of some melted chocolate that's been spread in a pan.
I don't know what Williams Sonoma does with their peppermint bark -- I wish I did -- but it truly is some of the best I've had. Most of the rest of their food offerings are nonsense, and the Rocky Road in particular is a sad waste, but if I had the money I would shell out for a tin of their peppermint bark.
posted by halation at 5:52 PM on December 12, 2017
I don't know what Williams Sonoma does with their peppermint bark -- I wish I did -- but it truly is some of the best I've had. Most of the rest of their food offerings are nonsense, and the Rocky Road in particular is a sad waste, but if I had the money I would shell out for a tin of their peppermint bark.
posted by halation at 5:52 PM on December 12, 2017
Good news! Star-K is part of the Vaad of Baltimore - it's been around for at least 50 years and is pretty much universally accepted.
Neat! That's good to know! I was lectured at an Orthodox friend's house in Teaneck about Star-K last year, by a holier-than-thou friend they had invited over for Shabbat lunch.
posted by zarq at 5:52 PM on December 12, 2017
Neat! That's good to know! I was lectured at an Orthodox friend's house in Teaneck about Star-K last year, by a holier-than-thou friend they had invited over for Shabbat lunch.
posted by zarq at 5:52 PM on December 12, 2017
Corn flake topping--I'm pretty sure my (really lovely) Midwestern, goyishe mother-in-law suggested this to me once.
Listen, if you're from the Midwest, you have to have corn flake topping on EVERYTHING that comes out of an oven or a skillet.
And jello as your side. Maybe with corn flake topping.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:21 PM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
Listen, if you're from the Midwest, you have to have corn flake topping on EVERYTHING that comes out of an oven or a skillet.
And jello as your side. Maybe with corn flake topping.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:21 PM on December 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
SNOWMAN MARSHMALLOW FLOATERS
No, this can't be an accident. No way.
posted by Beholder at 7:56 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
No, this can't be an accident. No way.
posted by Beholder at 7:56 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
Are people trying to have a fondue revival? Without macramé, what's the point?
Tragically macrame is coming back. Maybe it will be available at Williams-Sonoma next winter, or some smarty-pants vignette designer will hide it in the background of the fondue gear photos...
posted by esoterrica at 8:20 PM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
Tragically macrame is coming back. Maybe it will be available at Williams-Sonoma next winter, or some smarty-pants vignette designer will hide it in the background of the fondue gear photos...
posted by esoterrica at 8:20 PM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]
Ah, S M E G. I first became acquainted with the august brand of kitchen appliances when reading reviews of microwaves on amazon. The question that led me down the rabbit hole was "Does it look like smeg green or is it a different shade?" (Lower case) and I thought, hmmm, that's a gross way to describe a small oven. Thus my knowledge of all things S M E G came to be. So glad it's being celebrated as it should be.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 9:57 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 9:57 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
Re: Fondue. So, Bodegraven does exist. It's a cute little town, with a cute little brewery, and there are IRLs there. My friend works there. I have personally not witnessed any random metalworking cheese enthusiasts though, so I'm afraid I cannot endorse the fonduaissance on these grounds.
And re: SMEG appliances. A friend has the toaster (€129, Amazon) and the water kettle (€149, Amazon). The kettle only has one setting (on!), no temperature selection or keep-warm that I would expect at that price point; the kettle and its heater stand are slightly squared instead of round so unless you put the kettle back on the stand just-so it always looks wonky; and the kettle lid latch broke within a couple of weeks so the lid won't actually open and she has to put water in through the spout. The toaster seems to have lasted a couple of years without breaking, yet. Therefore I (and my €7 kettle which also only has one setting but the lid does open) remain of the same opinion as the Wallace and Gromit team on the topic.
posted by sldownard at 10:23 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
And re: SMEG appliances. A friend has the toaster (€129, Amazon) and the water kettle (€149, Amazon). The kettle only has one setting (on!), no temperature selection or keep-warm that I would expect at that price point; the kettle and its heater stand are slightly squared instead of round so unless you put the kettle back on the stand just-so it always looks wonky; and the kettle lid latch broke within a couple of weeks so the lid won't actually open and she has to put water in through the spout. The toaster seems to have lasted a couple of years without breaking, yet. Therefore I (and my €7 kettle which also only has one setting but the lid does open) remain of the same opinion as the Wallace and Gromit team on the topic.
posted by sldownard at 10:23 PM on December 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
SMEG is an Italian brand. I had friends in Nice who got a SMEG fridge roundabout eight years ago and I couldn't help but chortle every time I saw it. It was white. OMG.
Fondue has always been bourgeois around the edges as you need wine for it and the hard cheese used, gruyère, is expensive. Raclette, now, there we go. Just a regular farm cheese, melted. All you need is a heat source.
posted by fraula at 3:20 AM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
Fondue has always been bourgeois around the edges as you need wine for it and the hard cheese used, gruyère, is expensive. Raclette, now, there we go. Just a regular farm cheese, melted. All you need is a heat source.
posted by fraula at 3:20 AM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
Tragically macrame is coming back. Maybe it will be available at Williams-Sonoma next winter, or some smarty-pants vignette designer will hide it in the background of the fondue gear photos...
Thank godness. My home has a serious owl shortage.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:54 AM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
Thank godness. My home has a serious owl shortage.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:54 AM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
I fell in love with the look of SMEG appliances when I first saw them while window shopping in London. But they’re expensive and I’ve read they aren’t very reliable so I admire from afar.
posted by PussKillian at 9:09 AM on December 13, 2017
posted by PussKillian at 9:09 AM on December 13, 2017
Also, Macraman.
Why the hell did you make me look at that with my eyes
posted by Rock Steady at 12:37 PM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Why the hell did you make me look at that with my eyes
posted by Rock Steady at 12:37 PM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
A Bonus Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
Hello again. Earlier this week we all gathered round the wassail to roast the goofiest items in this year’s Williams-Sonoma catalog. HOWEVER, it was a really thick catalog this year, and there simply wasn’t enough room in print for EVERY ridiculous item featured. Especially the champagne saber. So, with that in mind, we thought we’d offer up a little supplement this year, because if the internet is good for anything, it’s franchising gags and overusing them.posted by kirkaracha at 6:06 PM on December 14, 2017
Boooooooo! It's only available in podcast form, I want a transcript!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:34 AM on December 15, 2017
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:34 AM on December 15, 2017
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Hooray!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:47 AM on December 12, 2017 [3 favorites]