Christmas is coming, the wind is come to you

December 20, 2017 7:59 PM

And Santa baby bore sweet Jesus Christ, And the chimney the angels sing - Christmas Carols, generated by a neural network [previously]
posted by unliteral (23 comments total)

Eh, none of them are worse than "Mary's Boy Child."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:05 PM on December 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

For some reason, the Sandman figures very prominently in the neural net’s Christmas mythology, despite having been mentioned in the dataset only once

This made me laugh out loud. I don't know why but the idea of an AI with its own little fantasy land populated with boogeymen and gremlins like a real four-year-old is delightful.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 8:36 PM on December 20, 2017 [8 favorites]

If my very serious study of 2017's shopping malls is allowed as evidence, there seem to only be nine different Christmas songs, anyway, and my god they have been on a loop 24/7 for weeks now.

I want to kill.
posted by rokusan at 11:00 PM on December 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Where did it get hippopotamuses???
posted by greermahoney at 11:46 PM on December 20, 2017 [2 favorites]

Where did it get hippopotamuses???

Gayla Peevey - I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
posted by non canadian guy at 12:28 AM on December 21, 2017 [4 favorites]

I love this, and (or 'but', perhaps?) I'm not a big fan of Christmas.
posted by pompomtom at 12:57 AM on December 21, 2017

Santa baby, and Dancer, and Curry down

I think I heard this on the radio this week.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:14 AM on December 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

"The Saviour of the chimney tonight" made me pee.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 4:32 AM on December 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

"Hart fon the be the he br wong on the stor Christmas br he, or the wang
Christ, Christ, on bn a me the stord
Hont on thr st bong the wor
I he a s de poog the stow tome on be ser snur"

This is how they all sound after a few cups of egg nog.
posted by briank at 5:16 AM on December 21, 2017 [7 favorites]

Well, it's no Endless Jingling.
posted by jackbishop at 6:05 AM on December 21, 2017 [4 favorites]

"I taught a neural network to make X" stories always slay me. Sleigh me, in this case.
posted by emelenjr at 6:07 AM on December 21, 2017 [5 favorites]

"Hart fon the be the he br wong on the stor Christmas br he, or the wang
Christ, Christ, on bn a me the stord
Hont on thr st bong the wor
I he a s de poog the stow tome on be ser snur"


I really love the old English ones when they're still done in the original dialects. David Munrow, Shirley Collins and The Young Tradition have an especially rousing version of this one.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:19 AM on December 21, 2017 [3 favorites]

Let’s take the little children of the grave!

why are there zombies
posted by ultranos at 6:22 AM on December 21, 2017

And of course, I like many people, I still have fond memories of my parents playing Steeleye Span's version of "The Sandman So Be Joyful Now."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:23 AM on December 21, 2017

The lord of the glory dawns
Give us the leave all away
A star is spent and red
Shake a cup a strend from the sky
Christmas is coming, the wind is come to you


Huh- so Alan Moore is writing Christmas carols now.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:25 AM on December 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

The story of the chimney see
Santa baby, and blood and joyous so world and joy and good will to see
Santa baby bore sweet Jesus Christ

Don't forget the joyous blood this christmas!
posted by batou_ at 6:27 AM on December 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

This made me giggle snort out loud last night and subsequently have to chant all the lyrics to my spouse.

Favorites:
Dingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells with bells are ringing
Glory bears and asses the air the angels sang

Glory bears and asses, forever more!
posted by slipthought at 6:30 AM on December 21, 2017 [4 favorites]

"Hart fon the be the he br wong on the stor Christmas br he, or the wang
Christ, Christ, on bn a me the stord
Hont on thr st bong the wor
I he a s de poog the stow tome on be ser snur"

Isn't that the long-feared-lost sixth verse to "Auld Lang Syne" in the original Scots dialect?
posted by wenestvedt at 6:46 AM on December 21, 2017 [2 favorites]

Where did it get hippopotamuses???

Gayla Peevey - I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Came back to say I just heard this for the first time. Weird.
posted by greermahoney at 8:04 AM on December 21, 2017

Santa baby, and Dancer, and Curry down

I assume this is or is about to be a Target commercial.
posted by Emmy Rae at 8:24 AM on December 21, 2017 [1 favorite]

Only if it's Tim Curry.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:28 AM on December 21, 2017 [1 favorite]

I would love to see this split up by traditional carols and modern Christmas songs; it has a knack for the weirdness of old carols, but then it spoils them with a Santa baby!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:47 PM on December 21, 2017 [1 favorite]

The Bonus Carol:

It's Christmas time peetime story with my baby tonight
The sandman and ass and all the reindeer so bright.
Then I heard ol' Santa baby
The sandman of the moon

Chorus
Lo, the Moon is born!
He comes, and loves, and saves, and frees! Us
Ooch it to me, Mr. tick in the far away
He comes, and love, and saves, and frees! Us

I'm dreams are deep it love, and friends sacks, from
deaming the mighty king ring
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
I wanna give it to you
Ding dong, ding dong
Christmas day

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
and we be together
Our sins and love
Where the snowflakes's
Who are the shepherds, down and soul and the baby I heard
that a melody you meek and mild
And I want him for my baby
With you,
And the lord;
Far away and life me,
In his heavenly coming to Bethlehem.
posted by unliteral at 4:56 PM on January 10, 2018 [1 favorite]