67 New Colours I Invented Recently
December 22, 2017 4:35 PM   Subscribe

 
I want to read all of these.
posted by mbrubeck at 4:47 PM on December 22, 2017 [5 favorites]


Did the 7-year-old get paid for her contribution?
posted by synecdoche at 4:51 PM on December 22, 2017 [7 favorites]


I see Cookie Swirl C has invaded her parents home as well. Those poor bastards.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:56 PM on December 22, 2017 [1 favorite]


Did the 7-year-old get paid for her contribution?

She got exposure.
posted by thelonius at 5:03 PM on December 22, 2017 [22 favorites]


Man, and here I am exploiting my seven year old to unwind ships cord like some kind of sucker.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:07 PM on December 22, 2017 [7 favorites]


Wow, that is a seriously funny 7-year-old. Some adult BuzzFeed writers should be concerned for their continued employment.
posted by allegedly at 5:13 PM on December 22, 2017 [1 favorite]


That last one is actually very sage, and has made me stop stressing about stupid adult things a bit.

I was previously unfamiliar with Cookie Swirl C and am now regretting going down that particular rabbit hole. Are there any good studies or articles out there explaining why kids are so obsessed with videos of toys being opened? Is it purely just that kids like toys and wish they were the ones doing the opening? Or is there something deeper going on in their still-forming brains? I love opening toys but I find these videos unwatchable.
posted by retrograde at 5:16 PM on December 22, 2017


why kids are so obsessed with videos of toys being opened?
Adults make them too
posted by thelonius at 5:23 PM on December 22, 2017 [1 favorite]


If A Tiny Elephant Came Along And Drank Your Beer, What Would You Do?

First off, WHERE DO I GO SO THIS CAN HAPPEN? I'll figure out the rest later.
posted by Lyn Never at 5:30 PM on December 22, 2017 [17 favorites]


If A Tiny Elephant Came Along And Drank Your Beer, What Would You Do?

First off, WHERE DO I GO SO THIS CAN HAPPEN? I'll figure out the rest later.


It takes place in one of those 100 Roald Dahl books.
posted by Fizz at 5:43 PM on December 22, 2017 [5 favorites]


If A Tiny Elephant Came Along And Drank Your Beer, What Would You Do?

Trick question! I am not drinking beer, I am drinking one of the 22 known alternatives to booze
posted by oulipian at 6:20 PM on December 22, 2017 [7 favorites]


You know what? I AM tall enough to ride a roller coaster.
posted by 4ster at 6:48 PM on December 22, 2017 [6 favorites]


1. 22 Things Grown-Ups Should Drink Instead of Booze
7. 99 Seriously Dumb Lies Adults Tell You
18. Why Do Grown-Ups Seem Sad a Lot of the Time?


I’m a little concerned about Savannah
posted by bibliowench at 6:48 PM on December 22, 2017 [11 favorites]


If A Tiny Elephant Came Along And Drank Your Beer, What Would You Do

I went to high school with a guy who had an elephant. He was the youngest son of some kind of Indian aristocratic family. Immensely wealthy. Anyways he was incredibly blasée about it. It was infuriating.

posted by Ashwagandha at 8:41 PM on December 22, 2017 [5 favorites]


I don't know about Nin but NIИ is like vantablack, so maybe?
posted by Ogre Lawless at 8:45 PM on December 22, 2017 [2 favorites]


I would totally paint my bedroom nin.
posted by en forme de poire at 8:47 PM on December 22, 2017


"Daddy has a tattoo but when I draw on my sister that's not okay? How is that fair?"

Quoted for truth.
posted by Margalo Epps at 9:43 PM on December 22, 2017 [6 favorites]


If A Tiny Elephant Came Along And Drank Your Beer, What Would You Do?

Oddly enough, I just referenced Tales from Gavagan's Bar yesterday in another thread. I believe L. Sprague de Camp and Fletcher Pratt had this covered in the story Elephas Frumenti, if I recall correctly. They posited the existence of a tiny, mouse-sized elephant, and surmised, like our intrepid seven-year-old clearly and cleverly has, that only a diet of alcohol would provide a caloric density high enough to sustain such a frisky little creature.

So if you seek a tiny elephant, look in a bar. And keep an eye on your drink.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 10:10 PM on December 22, 2017 [2 favorites]


67 New Colours I Invented Recently

Didn't we just have a Pantone thread?
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:26 PM on December 22, 2017


I want to know all the things she licked in goat simulator!
posted by chapps at 10:46 PM on December 22, 2017


I write books.

And these days, when a new book comes out, my publishers' marketing folks stand over me with a riding crop and make me grind out a shit-ton of clickbaity articles they can place in various magazines and blogs to drive eyeballs towards my new book. (This is why we can't have nice things any more.)

Because I've been pumping out two books a year for a while, like a hideously bloated insect queen laying eggs on a production line, I've gotten terribly bored with the standard questions ("Five books about [X]", "This one fascinating hobby of mine", etc). So I finally cracked last week, and at the end of a day in which I wrote four fucking clickbait articles I wrote 800 words titled, Five clickbait articles I can't stomach writing to promote my new novel.

And you know what?

They thought it was great, and placed it with a webzine immediately.
posted by cstross at 7:48 AM on December 23, 2017 [21 favorites]


my publishers' marketing folks stand over me with a riding crop and make me grind out a shit-ton of clickbaity articles they can place in various magazines and blogs

I've wondered about those. I always thought they were cranked out by the junior members of the marketing team. Knowing that they make the authors do them makes them even sadder to read...
posted by Ashwagandha at 3:35 PM on December 23, 2017 [2 favorites]


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