Fashion purchases fantasy versus reality
December 24, 2017 1:27 AM   Subscribe

 
I just cried with laugher all the way through that thread. Laughter and memories of some of my clothing disasters.
posted by halcyonday at 4:00 AM on December 24, 2017 [5 favorites]


Hilarious !
posted by james33 at 4:01 AM on December 24, 2017


That thread is wonderful. So many witty people taking their lumps with good humor. Now I can’t stop thinking about the oatmeal suede fringed jacket I took in trade for a whole heap of vintage clothing. I had been dying for a jacket like it for ages. Surely it being 3 sizes too big wouldn’t be that noticeable, what with all that distracting fringe. Certainly I could count on my own mother to steer me away from… oh wait I just remembered something. It wasn’t vintage clothing I traded for. It was the bright cherry red leather thigh-length bomber jacket. Good lord, one bad choice after another.
posted by ezust at 4:18 AM on December 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


i used to work in a clothes shop and everyone's like 'i'm too busy to try it on, i'll take it home' and actually it takes ten seconds to try things on and a lot longer to take something to the post office and return it, in my opinion. Also, i learned, most people will make something work if the alternative is posting it back, but will hang it back on the hanger if it's at all not perfect, so people spend far more on the internet. Meaning, people will part with more cash in internet shopping, because they won't return things, plus the cash they spend in the first place because they didn't try it on or skim through the book or whatever and get put off. Internet shopping isn't just successful because of things like better choice and open 24 hours, but for reasons which aren't about its better efficiency, but just luck - people's laziness in the face of returning it, lack of being able to try it out, etc. The lesson i took from this experience is, beware of the money you lose for these reasons: bestir yourself to return things; don't be less fussy than in real life; etc. I think a jacket is the on thing you shouldn't buy without trying it on, the shoulder seams should fit to the angle of your shoulders. Dresses are the worst thing to fit, because you need to match not only circumference of different body parts, but their distance from each other. Finally, it is pretty easy to learn some styles which really do or really don't flatter your body, for instance cuts which add weight flatter the skinny and there is no point in selling size 14+, while the flattening-out cuts make the skinny shapeless but smooth the lumpy and make no sense below 16+ (older british sizes). To finish my rant, i was converted to the knitwear hanger, because it stops your knitted jumpers getting sharp cuts and stretching on the shoulders. I mentally designed an outfit for trying on clothes: leotard and high-cut slippers with shoe soles: you can run out and fetch more sizes and clothes then try them on without taking clothes on and off, and without wrestling with lace-up shoes twice per pair of trousers. I've never had the balls to wear it though.
posted by maiamaia at 4:29 AM on December 24, 2017 [26 favorites]


OMG there are 21 pages in that thread: a vein of gold to last all day!!
posted by wenestvedt at 4:53 AM on December 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


There are some brilliantly funny comments in there.
posted by pracowity at 5:29 AM on December 24, 2017


"I looked like I was getting some fresh air in some kind of secure facility for disturbed middle aged women."
Until this moment, I didn't realise there was an actual name for my personal fashion style.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 6:07 AM on December 24, 2017 [83 favorites]


maiamaia, your advice about trying things on is so true! I hate trying things on, but I also hate returning them, so I made it a personal rule to always try things on before buying. If I don't have time to try it on, it's an impulse purchase, so I can't buy it. This must have saved me thousands of dollars.

I am only human however, and I have to admit to clothes now hanging in my closet that I bought on the internet and have never worn.
posted by maggiemaggie at 6:33 AM on December 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


"I bought a full length black strap on evening dress."

Someone please explain.
posted by gennessee at 6:38 AM on December 24, 2017 [12 favorites]


I don't mind trying things on, but I have very little idea what I'm looking for: I'll look in the mirror and verify this is a pair of pants and I'm good to go (yay patriarchy). This is why I am a dedicated customer to a few places where the staff _actually_ know what they're talking about.

This one time, I'm buying a suit for a formal occasion at the outlet store for a fancy men's clothing chain - think oil paintings of the Venerable Founder on the wall, framed banknotes that haven't been current since a couple of wars back, that kind of thing. I pick the suit out, have the measurements done and then notice there's a rack of jeans on sale. My salesman is an older guy, maybe early sixties - looks like he's been doing this forever. I tell him I'd like to try a pair of jeans since they're on sale. He looks at me, rolls his eyes and tells me "You're going to buy jeans here?".

I did buy a sweet pair of green / blue stripped pants though, he couldn't talk me out of that.
posted by Dr Dracator at 6:50 AM on December 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


Cycling clothes. You really don't understand the clash of reality vs expectations until you've seen yourself in the mirror wearing your your new ever-so-perfect — though overpriced –
cycling kit.
posted by cccorlew at 7:25 AM on December 24, 2017 [7 favorites]


The long belted winter coat that would exude timeless elegance and give me the illusion of a waist.

It made me look like I'd locked myself out in my dressing gown.


I own this coat. I was too embarrassed to take it back, because I did in fact try it on and convinced myself it looked good in the store because it was on sale at such a great price...
posted by rpfields at 7:33 AM on December 24, 2017 [6 favorites]


Tried contouring: " ooh " said my 10 year old daughter with genuine admiration " it looks like you've drawn Maleficent on a paper plate"

Dying.
posted by Fig at 7:38 AM on December 24, 2017 [47 favorites]


Cath Kidston dress - looking like you were pushing a drip stand up hospital corridor.

This is why I will never wear a shirt/dress with a small, repeating print. They all look like hospital gowns to me.
posted by Elly Vortex at 7:47 AM on December 24, 2017 [7 favorites]


I am dying over here

A beautiful layered neckline dress from Monsoon 

I looked like a Triceratop in it - come near me and I'll raise my neck frill in defence

posted by workerant at 8:11 AM on December 24, 2017 [22 favorites]


These are just delightful!

"Tinky Winky gone emo"
posted by mogget at 8:19 AM on December 24, 2017 [5 favorites]


Suzi Quatro's fat nan. SUZI QUATRO'S FAT NAN. I am wheezing with laughter.
posted by 41swans at 8:34 AM on December 24, 2017 [22 favorites]


i just want to also draw everyone's attention to the Related Posts entry of "Penis Beaker" below, thank you and good day
posted by poffin boffin at 8:42 AM on December 24, 2017 [9 favorites]


These are hilarious, it is such a tough thing. It doesn't matter what something looks like it only matters what it looks like on you. But for every person that doesn't see that something isn't flattering on them there is someone who is convinced they look ridiculous when they actually look great, they're just outside their comfort zone.

I think it's almost impossible for most people to view their own appearance objectively.
posted by bongo_x at 8:50 AM on December 24, 2017 [8 favorites]


I agree with the hair cut drama I aimed for a sleek Victoria Beckham inverted bob. What I got was Errol Flynn as Robin Hood.

Oh god haircuts... expectation: cascading corkscrew curls, reality: Noddy Holder...

posted by bongo_x at 8:51 AM on December 24, 2017 [5 favorites]


Male version of this, Fedoras and leather jackets. Reddit's Male Fashion Advice routinely post some cringe worthy photos. So does another forum called (not surprisingly) The Fedora Lounge.
posted by Beholder at 8:54 AM on December 24, 2017


Yes yes. A friend and were chatting the other day ... our moms sewed our clothes but they looked like clothes. We tried it and our kids told us they were tired of clothes that look like Jammies all the time.

I went to the beach last holiday in my sun-friendly clothes last winter and I looked like a penguin crossed with a habited nun.
posted by tilde at 9:02 AM on December 24, 2017


“Morticia Addams’ fat sister” is an aesthetic that I am inclined towards and struggle to avoid. And yet, now that I think about it, I would totally watch a show about her.
posted by Countess Elena at 9:14 AM on December 24, 2017 [20 favorites]


One advantage to buying almost everything used on eBay is that there are no models to entice you with unlikely dreams of possibility. I would say that my saddest purchase, though, was a beautiful gold cardigan bought from a high-end men's retailer (on sale, at least) which I bought because I thought that I too would look like Talented Mr. Ripley crossed with Young Professor X like the model. Sadly, the retailer expects its customers to be slim, so by the time I got to a size that fit me horizontally, I would have needed to be about 6' 5" for it to fit me vertically. No amount of insouciantly pushed up sleeves helped even a bit, and back it had to go.

There are two ways to sell me almost any garment: The "Talented Mr. Ripley/Young Professor X" approach and the "Vaguely Alternative In A Wholesome Way From 1992" approach. Show me a roll-neck sweater in either setting and I am helpless against pulling out my credit card. (I mean basically my look was "Fat Mr. Ripley" for years and years until I changed my hair so as not to look alt-right.
posted by Frowner at 9:24 AM on December 24, 2017 [12 favorites]


Suzi Quatro's fat nan.

This is what I'm naming my new drag/punk band.
posted by octobersurprise at 9:36 AM on December 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


this made me a little sad because i am sure with enough self confidnce these folks could rock these looks, and i want that for them.
posted by PinkMoose at 9:36 AM on December 24, 2017 [7 favorites]


This type of thing is part of the reason I'm all about uniforms. I hit on something that's comfortable and doesn't look too ridiculous, and I'll buy multiple of them and wear mostly the same thing every day.

But another part of the reason is that, if I had my druthers, I'd dress like a 19th century Eastern European peasant or maybe a nun or a patient in a mental hospital (true story: I desperately want the shawl Juliet Binoche wears in Camille Claudel 1915, and I also like the clothes the daughter wears in The Turin Horse). And the only reason I would be bothered by looking like a dumpy old peasant (which I totally would) is that people would probably gawp at me a lot and talk to me reaaallly slowly.

So instead, I just dress generically for my time and place, mostly in jeans, thick plain t-shirts, and mostly men's shirts in linen or cotton. And almost everything is black, gray, or blue. Just please don't look at me unless I say something to you.

But I cannot for the life of me figure out haircuts. My hair grows fast and there is a LOT of it, so I do have to get it cut every now and again, and I cannot figure out how to explain to people that I just want it kind of normal. About two years ago, I went to my usual place and was pretty distressed with what happened, but I went home and asked my husband what he thought this was, but didn't say the word, because I didn't want to put ideas in his head. He was either being uncharacteristically gentle with me or characteristically oblivious and said, "It looks like you got your hair cut" or something like that. But soon thereafter, my best friend walked in and blurted out, "Why do you have a mullet?"

So I got the back part chopped off, and let it grow out for a while, then went to a different place to try to restore it to some normalcy, and was very very careful to let her know that I did NOT want a mullet.

Apparently, I was a little too clear, because I ended up with the most severe, ridiculous A-line haircut I've ever seen. And I have seen that Kate + 8 lady's haircut. I had no idea that a simple haircut could make someone look like such a huge asshole, but holy shit. How is this haircut actually racist? I just went ahead and (wearing a hat, which I never do) went to a cheap chain haircut place and got a generic little boy haircut and let that grow out.

And for the past couple years or so since that happened, I just let my hair grow out until I can't stand it anymore, then go in and have them give me that generic haircut that makes me look like a cocker spaniel, because I now know how much worse it could be.

Wow. Dang, that's long and pretty tangenty (they do get into bad haircuts about halfway through, though).

I guess I needed to get that off my chest, though, so boom. Done.
posted by ernielundquist at 10:11 AM on December 24, 2017 [32 favorites]


Oh lord that thread. The triceratops and the emo Tinky Winky comments made me helpless with laughter.

For me it is the oversized button down over leggings look. I always think I'll look like those tall, graceful models who look so effortlessly casual in that outfit. But I'm short, so instead I end up looking like a kindergartener who's wearing her dad's castoff shirt as a paint smock for art class.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:34 AM on December 24, 2017 [22 favorites]


At middle age, "cool and/or fashionable" is a stretch goal. "Not ridiculous" or "Hasn't given up on life" is a win.
posted by bongo_x at 10:36 AM on December 24, 2017 [36 favorites]


A navy Burberry Mac

Homeless art teacher.


Forever reading that wrap around dresses are good for curvy girls - well if you want to look like you have a sofa up your dress, yes indeedy! That is what I look like!

The sack of spuds comment, cemented it for me. Why my style works. I never look. I buy, I wear camouflage colors. Only on occasion do I have to care, and they are always sad occasions that I really should not be attending, like more formal family gatherings, or going to a place that is more trendy than I would normally frequent, sad gatherings. In some ways this article externalizes what is the sad fact of internal dialogues that characterize what people go through to make the exterior match the interior. At least there is some humor! You lookin' at me? That would be your first mistake...
posted by Oyéah at 10:40 AM on December 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


A recommendation for the Penis Beaker thread, came to my home in a plain brown wrapper. I am still crying over this comment.

"
This is an excellent point. If I had a beaker full of ween drippings next to my bed, I can pretty much guarantee that that's the one place I'm not gonna voluntarily be." Not to derail the Schadenkleidung thread.
posted by Oyéah at 10:49 AM on December 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


The lesson I'm getting is that "effortless elegance" and "chic minimalism" take a shit ton of money exercise dieting and youth to achieve.
posted by vespabelle at 11:20 AM on December 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


a beaker full of ween drippings

New book of poems and essays arriving for Christmas, available at Amazon.
posted by bongo_x at 11:22 AM on December 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


I have yet to actually buy one because I at least have the sense to always try it on, but: shirt dresses. Expectation: chic and casual and flattering, loose but not bag-like, pleasantly rumpled. Reality: no part of this dress fits like it's supposed to. The shoulders are too big, the gaps between buttons gape open, weirdly tight in the butt region. And yet, I still always try them on, hoping in vain to find the one shirt dress that will look alright on me. I have got to accept that they're meant for taller and more willowy types than 5'3" and wide-hipped me.

Also, I see other ladies in that thread tempted by Uniqlo's wide leg trousers, visions of Katharine Hepburn dancing through their heads. I am among their number! But I haven't even bothered to try them on, because see above re being 5'3" with wide hips. I remain defiant about the pleated midi-length skirt I bought from Uniqlo though. Does it veer, very slightly, into granny territory? PERHAPS. But it sways so beautifully, and when appropriately accessorized, it looks lovely!
posted by yasaman at 11:26 AM on December 24, 2017 [7 favorites]


The lesson I'm getting is that "effortless elegance" and "chic minimalism" take a shit ton of money exercise dieting and youth to achieve.

And everyone wants to be (or at least look) French!
posted by btfreek at 11:28 AM on December 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Costco, guys. We'll all eventually be dressed in $14 jeans and whatever shirts don't seem to be too heavily-weighted towards plastic fabrics.
posted by maxwelton at 11:35 AM on December 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


Helpless laughter from me too, but damn if I'm not going to wear wetf I like even at (and eventually well past) middle age. The inferred judgements in the original thread (also here) are making me a bit queasy. We're startling quick to care and comment about appearances while we may well know trends and media can lead personal style massively astray.

Just don't trust this triceratops.
posted by vers at 11:39 AM on December 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


I have yet to actually buy one because I at least have the sense to always try it on, but: shirt dresses.

For me it's button-front shirts. I have about 10 in my closet despite that fact that they tend to gape at my chest while being too wide in the shoulders. And when I wear them with pants it just looks ... weird. Not right. Definitely not flattering. They can sometimes look okay with skirts, which I rarely wear in winter, the time of year when wearing button-fronts makes the most sense. Again and again, hope triumphs over experience. That vision of (a slightly more attractive) myself in a lovely, crisp cotton shirt, looking neat, professional, and subtly feminine just won't stop. The thing is that every now and then it *does* work and I love it. Need more R&D. Should probably try on more shirts.
posted by bunderful at 11:42 AM on December 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


I am amazed by the complex web of cultural knowledge that goes into making these clothing evaluations. I would go into analysis paralysis if I had to dress well as a woman.
posted by clawsoon at 12:15 PM on December 24, 2017 [7 favorites]


The lesson I'm getting is that "effortless elegance" and "chic minimalism" take a shit ton of money exercise dieting and youth to achieve.

And effort, and just good genes of whatever. For most everyone, it takes a good bit of makeup (of the "no makeup look" variety) and some of us just have faces and/or bodies that are too unfortunate for it to ever work under any circumstances.
posted by Dysk at 12:40 PM on December 24, 2017


Eileen Fisher expectation: I will look like a lady of a certain age who still has a sense of style, clad in cool linen. Reality: I've just been released from the hospital and haven't yet changed out of scrubs.
posted by Daily Alice at 12:58 PM on December 24, 2017 [28 favorites]


I almost inhaled my own tongue when I got to "Richard III," I laughed so suddenly and so hard.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:58 PM on December 24, 2017 [5 favorites]


I rarely see pictures of myself. Every so often someone will send a group shot or something to me and honestly have found myself thinking "who is that old guy and what the hell is he wearing?"
posted by bongo_x at 1:23 PM on December 24, 2017 [5 favorites]


Oh God. Fantastic. I'm sending it on to my friend, Sherry, with the advice: pee first.
posted by BoscosMom at 2:59 PM on December 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


I bought a full length black strap on evening dress.

I feel sure she meant "strapless."
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 3:26 PM on December 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


Or there's punctuation missing from that sentence.
posted by bongo_x at 3:46 PM on December 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


the best one:

God, pleated midiskirts.
I had a metallic silver one. I looked like I was wearing the bottom half of a Dalek costume.

posted by nonasuch at 5:14 PM on December 24, 2017 [7 favorites]


I have yet to actually buy one because I at least have the sense to always try it on, but: shirt dresses. Expectation: chic and casual and flattering, loose but not bag-like, pleasantly rumpled. Reality: no part of this dress fits like it's supposed to. The shoulders are too big, the gaps between buttons gape open, weirdly tight in the butt region. And yet, I still always try them on, hoping in vain to find the one shirt dress that will look alright on me. I have got to accept that they're meant for taller and more willowy types than 5'3" and wide-hipped me.


I am tall and willowy and everytime I try on a shirt dress I look like I forgot my pants on my way to the Girl Scouts. I have no idea who they look good on but it's not tall people.
posted by fshgrl at 5:31 PM on December 24, 2017 [7 favorites]


I have no idea who they look good on but it's not tall people.

Counterpoint: am tall, wear shirtdresses constantly. But not modern ones, which usually gap at the bust and don't have full enough skirts. My vintage ones fit my narrow shoulders and have nice full skirts with plenty of room for my hips.

Recently someone told me, unprompted, that I reminded her of Miss Frizzle. I was like, yes! It's working! Gotta keep wearing those novelty prints!
posted by nonasuch at 5:45 PM on December 24, 2017 [9 favorites]


What I wanted from my one lone shirt dress was a severe elegance, with long tailored sleeves and a nipped-in waist.

Reality: Darth Vader's elderly schoolmarm aunt. Darth Havisham.
posted by jetlagaddict at 7:10 PM on December 24, 2017 [41 favorites]


Shirt dresses look good on me! Size 14-16, decent bust, hourglass. But the fitted kind, not the sack kind. To look good in the sack ones (without a belt), you need to be very rectangular.
posted by dame at 8:44 PM on December 24, 2017


Throw a huge handful of Adult Daria on "Morticia Addams' fat sister" and that has been me for the past 12 or so years.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 9:21 PM on December 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


Short, round, middle aged, Adult Daria, Morticia's fat sister type here. I am forever trying on things which I think will be light and airy and flowy and lovely, and inevitably, I look to be wearing bed linens, so I go back to being Fairy Gothmother of the People in Black. It's a Stevie Nicks meets Bettie Page meets suburban mom thing I rock.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 9:52 PM on December 24, 2017 [9 favorites]


Oh god, my closet is stuffed with clothes I thought would look good or are too small. I keep them because in my head I am positive at some point they will either fit or look good. I don't want to give them away because I do not want to see any of my friends looking good wearing them. Not too long ago I did give a friend a coat that I bought on line and loved but it was just too small and now I hate it every time I see her in it. : (
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 11:29 PM on December 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


oh man... all the comments, and basically the one missing element for a lot of this is:

The lesson I'm getting is that "effortless elegance" and "chic minimalism" take a shit ton of money exercise dieting and youth to achieve

Not even that. What most people need is a tailor, for all genders. Even models themselves need to pose a certain way to flatter their wares, not to mention some invisible pins. And celebs with stylists? They alter their clothes, even t-shirts. What's nonsensical is that this is usually an invisible cost for most ready-to-wear, and iirc it wasn't easy to find affordable tailors who aren't, like, Saville Row, when i was in the UK. Back home here, I alter quite a lot (even M&S jeans) because there's plenty of small-time tailors, and you'll start to get a knack for eyeing the seam allowances necessary to take things in or let it out.

The ability to have something looking effortless for your dimensions still remains a class marker, but yea, that's (usually) the solution. And also some literacy about the clothes you're looking at, ie which cut would probably be better off tailored from scratch, and the appropriate fabric etc. But that's definitely not a cultivated skill these days.
posted by cendawanita at 4:50 AM on December 25, 2017 [16 favorites]


"I looked like a child had drawn me with fat crayons".

guffaw-spatter
posted by gaspode at 9:00 AM on December 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


Every now and then I shrink a sweater and look great in it.

But I am horribly uncomfortable in them. It feels like a very slow death hug.

Being 50 and long past any semblance of a goth phase I prefer not to have my clothing embrace me like that.
posted by srboisvert at 7:51 AM on December 26, 2017 [1 favorite]


Will I ever learn? Sheesh. Yesterday I went shopping for Blundstones, convinced--CONVINCED--that I'd look cool and stylish yet practical. My bff expressed reservations but I was like no way, these will be awesome on me. Reality: Olive Oyl. No, I did not buy them. So, uh, maybe I have learned?
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:54 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


Blunnies are enormously hard to wear. I think there's a lot of misapprehensions about them - they used to be made in Australia but, like everything else, are made in developing countries by cheap (god knows, quite possibly sweated) labor. And when they became a mass market item, the quality dropped.

A better chelsea boot option is the RM Williams Stockyard. It costs about $30 more than full-price Blundstones, but it's an enormously better shoe - you can see in the photo that it doesn't have that balloon shape and that the sole is better made. RM Williams's other boots are far more expensive and somewhat more elegant, but if you ever get a chance at a pair on consignment or eBay, they are very nice indeed. Blunnies make you look like Olive Oyl because they are bulbous and puffy and just generally not, IMO, a widely applicable form of paddock boot.

The Solovair dealer boot is an English chelsea boot and has broguing, but it's price-comparable to Blunnies and made in the UK. Both those links go to boots in men's sizes but come in women's if you look around the internet. Dr. Martens has a UK-made chelsea too, I think.

TBH, I kind of resent boots at the Blundstone pricepoint - they're expensive enough to be a financial hardship but not expensive enough to be really good-quality, and I feel like they're almost sort of deceptive in that way.

Actually, when I consider it, an awful lot of the "and then I looked terrible in it" comments are about things that seem to me very difficult to wear - things that are more like costume than everyday clothes, things to be photographed in. (Admittedly, this is not true of shirtdresses, and I too have suffered from the shirtdress problem, back in a different gender presentation.)

So there's chronically a food problem, now, of meals needing to be "Instagrammable" regardless of how they taste, and I think there's a parallel problem with clothes. Weird fluffy jackets, extremely voluminous smock dresses, high-drama clothes generally - those are costumes. Costumes are a lot of fun, and it's great to get dressed up and go dancing, etc. But I think we develop this myth of the "girl about town" who is just always kickily going about her creative-class life while wearing a pastel fleece knee length sack and six inch heels or whatever, when in fact the people who dress like this are doing it for photoshoots.

When I was proper young, I wore all kinds of unlikely clothes, because I had a lot of free time and a flexible schedule, and the sorts of jobs I worked didn't care. I wore a satin vintage bathrobe over a lot of stuff for a while, for instance, because I liked it and I mistakenly thought it did something for me. It was fun to dress up in costumes every day, but it was costumes, not clothes.

Costumes don't do the work of clothes. Costumes are about dressing up like something - whether Olive Oyl or Debbie Harry or or Klaus Nomi or a starlet on a 1920s cruise ship. In the age of instagram, we get told that we should always be dressing up as something rather than wearing clothes, because this sells things, and because it doesn't work, so we're always ready to buy more. Debbie Harry is a lovely woman and Klaus Nomi was a sterling fellow, but neither of them had an office job, and if they cleaned the oven they did it in civvies.

I think there are a lot of difficulties in just getting clothes - pants lengths and different cuts (the shirtdress problem is partly a clothes problem, partly a costume problem) and accessibility and clothes generally not being made for the diversity of actually existing bodies - but an awful lot of the "and then I looked like a vampire hill-walker from 1931" stuff occurs because we've been convinced that if we dress up in a costume it will work as clothes.
posted by Frowner at 5:47 AM on December 30, 2017 [4 favorites]


But I think we develop this myth of the "girl about town" who is just always kickily going about her creative-class life while wearing a pastel fleece knee length sack and six inch heels or whatever, when in fact the people who dress like this are doing it for photoshoots.

I'm not completely sure this is a myth. I know a few people like this (and they aren't all women - I know at least one dude who's always in a casual suit jacket and big shades with perfect hair and he legitimately makes it look good, even the sunglasses when it isn't sunny). None of them do a lot of photoshoots, and they have office jobs.
posted by Dysk at 6:04 AM on December 30, 2017


But I think the key is the idea that people are wearing the "impossible" pieces while going about their lives. A suit jacket and big shades are easy to wear - maybe you can't do parkour in them, but you can run for the bus or walk in the rain or carry something heavy. That boxy fleece coat that is one of the first things linked in the OP is obviously hard to wear. It's not the degree of formality, it's the degree of complexity of cut, materials and fit and their suitability to conditions.

Like, when I was younger, I wore nothing but platform mary janes, the chunky nineties kind, and people constantly expressed surprise that I walked to and from work, on protest marches, etc in them - but I always chose ones with flexible soles and no more than an inch difference between the front platform and the heel, and both the heel and front sole were very chunky, so I had a lot of shoe to rest my weight on. I had another pair which had skinny heels and a great difference between toe and heel, and I could barely walk five blocks in them - they were costume shoes.

I mean, you can have jeans that are costume jeans due to their cut.
posted by Frowner at 7:38 AM on December 30, 2017 [1 favorite]


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