“X@#%!”

December 29, 2017 11:16 AM

Marvel wants you to write comics with no farts, death, aliens, gossip, or ‘social issues’ [The Verge] “In a press release today, Marvel announced Create Your Own [YouTube], a new platform that allows fans to create original comic strips using Marvel characters and stock background illustrations. The tagline is “Your Own Marvel Universe.” Fans don’t have access to the platform yet, though details are “coming soon.” Whether the version of the Marvel Universe you create is “Your Own” is arguable, however, given that the terms and conditions state that users are forbidden from distributing the content off-platform or using it for any commercial enterprise.”

Here are some highlights from the very long list of no-no’s:

⁃ “Content that could frighten or upset young children or the parents of young children.”
⁃ Prescription drugs or over-the-counter medication, vitamins, and dietary supplements.
⁃ Contraceptives
⁃ “Suggestive or revealing images,” including “bare midriffs”
⁃ “Sensationalism,” which is not defined but elucidated with the examples “killer bees, gossip, aliens, scandal, etc.”
⁃ “Obscenity, bad or offensive language” or “proxies for bad or offensive language.” E.g. no “X@#%!”
⁃ “Noises related to bodily functions.”
⁃ No politics, including “alternative lifestyle advocacies”
⁃ Death
⁃ “Misleading language”
⁃ “A copy or parody of current or past Marvel advertising creative”
⁃ Any “controversial topics,” including “social issues”
⁃ Double entendres
⁃ Any amusement parks that aren’t Disney amusement parks
⁃ Any movie studios that aren’t “affiliated with Marvel”
⁃ Guns

• Marvel criticised for comic-making tool that bans guns, drugs and bare midriffs [The Guardian]

“The list caused a stir online, with several artists and writers responding by posting images flouting the rules. Others were concerned by other topics deemed to be “controversial”, such as politics – defined as including “lobbyists, PAC sites, political campaigns and alternative lifestyle advocacies” – and “social issues”. Some feel this is directed at users hoping to make LGBTQ storylines, and that Marvel is not committed to addressing the lack of diversity in their comics. In April, a Marvel executive blamed declining comic book sales on the increased presence of women and non-white characters, saying: “That’s what we saw in sales … Any character that was diverse, any character that was new, our female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their nose up.” Marvel has yet to respond to questions from press.”

• New Marvel comics services comes with an amusing list of restrictions [Polygon]

“Overall it seems clear that Marvel knew the first thing anybody was going to try to make with this app is crude, pop culture-referencing pornography, and wanted to cut that off at the chase. But still: The most amusing of the prohibitions that seem to directly contradict some of the most prominent content of the Marvel Comics Universe itself, such as “controversial social issues,” death and a prohibition on “sensationalism” that includes “aliens” as an example. The most troubling of the prohibitions might be one barring users from any mention of politics, specifically the inclusion of “alternative lifestyle advocates,” an term that calls to mind a swath of potential definitions, from veganism to tattoos. It’s also an umbrella term often used to describe identifying as a member of the LGBTQ community, undoubtedly the most “political” way to define it.”

• Marvel creates new portal to create your own incredibly boring comics [Comics Beat]

“While some of this is boilerplate stuff, unsurprisingly its furthered the appearance that Marvel is anti-gay, and also anti-gossip. Oddly enough for a service that bans midriff bearing outfits, the first spokesperson is pantsless Gwenpool, now sporting a suggestive crotch seam. Possibly even more shocking than Killer Bees. Who is this “TapTap Comics” that is running the platform? I‘m told it’s an Australian company and not related to the Actually, it is related to the Chinese company that offers mobiles games and apps and the like. It should be noted that in general Chinese media guidelines are just as repressive as these TapTap ones, so which side it originated with is open to question. At any rate, there’s nothing that Marvel can do that doesn’t come off as awkward at best and sinister at worst these days.”

posted by Fizz (103 comments total)

Innagaddadavita, the shippers...

[shudders]

The shippers...
posted by Samizdata at 11:19 AM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

How can you ban grawlix from comics when that is literally what they were invented for.

I've often wished that there was a space for fanart and fanfiction that was also family-friendly and SFL, a kind of Tumblr or DeviantArt where you could search your favorite cartoon character without accidentally finding yourself in the depths of the human id. This is not gonna be it.
posted by Countess Elena at 11:21 AM on December 29, 2017 [17 favorites]

What the hell is "misleading language" supposed to mean?
posted by Paul Slade at 11:29 AM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

What the hell is "misleading language" supposed to mean?

I imagine this phrasing is intentional. It's vague enough that they can use it to justify whatever bullshit censorship they would like to impose on the individual who is using their shitty platform to make these sanitized comics/stories.
posted by Fizz at 11:32 AM on December 29, 2017 [6 favorites]

A new Marvel hero: Super-ego! Featured in The Depths of the Human Id.
posted by LeLiLo at 11:32 AM on December 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

Noises related to bodily functions

So, like “snikt”?
posted by aubilenon at 11:33 AM on December 29, 2017 [37 favorites]

Madelyne Pryor in Inferno was the first place I encountered even the idea of underboobs but hey, you go ahead and ban midriffs if that makes you feel better.
posted by komara at 11:33 AM on December 29, 2017 [16 favorites]

We can't make a fart joke but sure, go ahead and make Captain America a fucking Nazi!!? Ugh.
posted by Fizz at 11:36 AM on December 29, 2017 [16 favorites]

Content that could frighten or upset young children or the parents of young children.

I mean? This encompasses quite literally every single thing that exists in the known universe.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:37 AM on December 29, 2017 [63 favorites]

Fanfic without anything that makes fanfic fun.

of course Fanfic is pretty much by definition all about ignoring terms of service.
posted by Artw at 11:38 AM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

The best response.
posted by Artw at 11:39 AM on December 29, 2017 [37 favorites]

The Uncanny PG13-Men
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:41 AM on December 29, 2017 [13 favorites]

I mean? This encompasses quite literally every single thing that exists in the known universe.

This. Also, I mean, I've seen what the kids watch on youtube these days. I don't think young children are a great barometer of what can be considered disturbing.
posted by dinty_moore at 11:42 AM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

MetaFilter: “Content that could frighten or upset young children or the parents of young children.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:43 AM on December 29, 2017 [15 favorites]

3rd party Marvel stuff is and has always been a weird crapshoot of missing the point, corporate censorship, and general weirdness.

Marvel licensing is off course the people who brought us a Fantastic Four cartoon missing the Human Torch because they didn't want impressionable children to light themselves on fire, while around the same time allowing a Spider-Man cartoon to create Firestar, a totally new fire-based hero, to be one of Spidey's amazing friends.
posted by thecjm at 11:43 AM on December 29, 2017 [7 favorites]

My kid signed herself up to fucking Discord the other day.
posted by Artw at 11:43 AM on December 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

You know what this reminds me of is Story Machine, a video game I had for Commodore 64 when I was little. It had like six characters or entities and ten or so verbs, and when you wrote simple sentences, the computer would animate little picture stories for you. But you couldn't say "hit" ("That's not nice!") and you couldn't say that the monster "eats" anybody ("Ouch! That would hurt!") You couldn't even use the past tense. Even for a kid, that got old mighty quick.
posted by Countess Elena at 11:44 AM on December 29, 2017 [6 favorites]

I am Captain Fluffy. I make the universe seem safe for young children or the parents of young children with my innocence and the power of super fluffiness. No one can withstand the allure of my supreme fluffiness. All will bask in the fluffiness rapture, helpless to even consider unclean thoughts until the end of time. Which is coming sooner than you might think, what with entropy itself caught in the gravity well of ultimate fluffiness. All will love me and this hair!
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 11:46 AM on December 29, 2017 [7 favorites]

The best response.

I'm obligated to point out that the Nazi-made-of-killer-bees mentioned in this panel is canon.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:46 AM on December 29, 2017 [32 favorites]

things that frightened or upset me when i was a little kid:

- tuna
- loud noises
- not being allowed to stay up late to watch miami vice
- not being allowed to read as many books as i wanted whenever i wanted to
- taking responsibility for my actions
- the concept of linear time
posted by poffin boffin at 11:47 AM on December 29, 2017 [66 favorites]

- tuna
- loud noises
- not being allowed to stay up late to watch miami vice
- not being allowed to read as many books as i wanted whenever i wanted to
- taking responsibility for my actions
- the concept of linear time

This would be an amazing Doctor Who episode, just saying.
posted by Fizz at 11:49 AM on December 29, 2017 [28 favorites]

Noises related to bodily functions


Don Martin is going "flimp-whumble-zzrrr-flobbity-flobbity-flobbity" in his grave
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:50 AM on December 29, 2017 [13 favorites]

This is one of those things where I think I kind of understand what Marvel was going for here, because they don't want internet people making a "Wolverine endorses rape" comic or "Cap is a Red Pill Trumpist" comic, or in any way use this in a manner that'd spark a PR disaster. The only way you're going to cover every possible abuse or controversy scenario here is to make your TOS absurd (though not nearly *that* absurd). But that means that the solution is this: Don't let randos make comics with your characters.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:53 AM on December 29, 2017 [35 favorites]

What upset me as a child: Censorship.
posted by el io at 11:55 AM on December 29, 2017 [4 favorites]

I'm obligated to point out that the Nazi-made-of-killer-bees mentioned in this panel is canon.

People have been quick to point out that Swarm violates eight or nine of these rules just by existing.
posted by Artw at 11:55 AM on December 29, 2017 [10 favorites]

or "Cap is a Red Pill Trumpist" comic

Marvel is already doing this themselves. But yes, I understand your point. Ah well, we still have tumblr/fandom, for better or for worse.
posted by Fizz at 11:55 AM on December 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

A friend of mine went down the list and crossed off everything she’d seen in an actual Marvel comic. Then other respondents helped her strike the rest!
posted by bettafish at 11:57 AM on December 29, 2017 [8 favorites]

We interrupt this broadcast of Miami Vice to bring you breaking news: The Terrible Tainted Tuna has blown up the library because you were naughty 3.154e+8 seconds ago.

Save us, Captain Fluffy!
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 11:58 AM on December 29, 2017 [9 favorites]

There’s a scene in Kavalier & Clay when a character is asked to draw a symbol that would represent a fart for a whoopee cushion ad, without using the word fart. He thinks about it for a moment, then draws a musical staff with “stars and curlicues and broken musical notation.” It’s a great moment of creativity within tight restraints--and, as Countess Elena mentions, the kind of thing comics were invented for.

So part of me warms to the idea of this list of restrictions backfiring [insert more curlicues & stars], thinking of all the creative & vulgar workarounds I’m sure will spring up quickly. But a depressing followup thought: Marvel had to know they’d get this sort of pushback & mocking, and they figured as a marketing effort it’d be worth it anyway. They’re not building a new bullpen of artists, they’re building a bigger audience. (And a younger audience, too, maybe--I can imagine this being aimed at younger kids, who also might not be as put off by the list of proscribed topics.)
posted by miles per flower at 12:07 PM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

Any amusement parks that aren’t Disney amusement parks

OK, Marvel. Hope you enjoy my depiction of the Magic Kingdom as a crime-ridden hellscape overrun by masked thugs and homicidal mutants!
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:07 PM on December 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

So basically, Marvel has run out of story ideas and wants to crowdsource the plotbunny stage, and grab the rights to any actually good dialogue that fans come up with.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 12:08 PM on December 29, 2017 [7 favorites]

My Romneyman storyline will make the world right again!
posted by rhizome at 12:10 PM on December 29, 2017

So basically, Marvel has run out of story ideas and wants to crowdsource the plotbunny stage, and grab the rights to any actually good dialogue that fans come up with.

i think that's possibly ascribing this thing with more point than it actually has.
posted by Artw at 12:13 PM on December 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

⁃ No politics, including “alternative lifestyle advocacies”
⁃ Any “controversial topics,” including “social issues”

I'm sure this will go over well with many people.

How do you write a story about costumed heroes that isn't sensational?

"Steve Rogers gets an ACL tear playing football in the park and spends the next 6 weeks streaming Mad Men and The Great British Bake Off"
posted by Query at 12:15 PM on December 29, 2017 [12 favorites]

Any amusement parks that aren’t Disney amusement parks

I mean, OK, if you say so, but I don't know that the Disney suits are going to like my X-Men/Arcade rematch very much then
posted by the phlegmatic king at 12:16 PM on December 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

Eh, I'm pretty sure more than half will just have stories of Spider-man and Elsa getting pregnant while being buried alive.
posted by FJT at 12:18 PM on December 29, 2017 [10 favorites]

I wonder if you could just about make Baman Piderman with this
posted by Countess Elena at 12:21 PM on December 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

Steve Rogers gets an ACL tear playing football in the park and spends the next 6 weeks streaming Mad Men and The Great British Bake Off


He better not be taking any Vicodin!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:23 PM on December 29, 2017 [4 favorites]

The best response.

this list also pretty much covers everything in the like first 2 pages of Grant Morrison's The Invisibles
posted by runt at 12:25 PM on December 29, 2017 [7 favorites]

Adding to Poffin Boffin's list:

- Clothing tags, especially in the necks of shirts
- The smell of Pueblo, Colorado
- Cantaloupe
- When my dad would stomp his feet near our dog
- Porky Pig
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 12:26 PM on December 29, 2017 [12 favorites]

Steve Rogers gets an ACL tear playing football in the park and spends the next 6 weeks streaming Mad Men and The Great British Bake Off

Was going to say I'd read this but my ideal version of this is where Bucky and Sam are his boyfriends and take care of him and bring him cake so THAT'S against the rules.
posted by FritoKAL at 12:26 PM on December 29, 2017 [14 favorites]

how does a super soldier tear his super acl, come on

all crashing a plane did was make him take a nap
posted by poffin boffin at 12:30 PM on December 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

the first major comics publisher to take a firm stance against ibuprofen and killer bees

What a great strap line
posted by KateViolet at 12:32 PM on December 29, 2017

Stripcreator.com, built and run by MeFi's Own frenetic, is still an option for making your own comics with all the misleading amusement politics you could ever want.

Okay, yes, you can't use Gwenpool or Hawkguy, but you can use Indie Rock Pete and a surprisingly expressive Maura from 2002-era Diesel Sweeties.
posted by infinitewindow at 12:34 PM on December 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

how does a super soldier tear his super acl, come on

He tore it in Pueblo, Colorado, tripping over palmcorder_yajna's dog. Apparently, he was distracted trying to tear the Vibranium tag out of his super suit, tripped on the dog, and fell directly into a bowl of rancid Cantaloupe they were feeding the dog. It totally stained the crotch of his super suit, so he hobbled around the house for an hour or so like Porky Pig without any pants on while his suit was being cleaned. I guess it was super embarrassing.

That's all, folks!
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 12:39 PM on December 29, 2017 [4 favorites]

As a marvel intern in the long-long-ago, I get what they're going for here:

Obviously, porn is banned. Past that, they want the ability to just arbitrarily remove things they don't like.

By making the rules so byzantine that no one could possibly obey all of them, they always have a pretext ready if anyone complains about anything.
posted by Oktober at 12:43 PM on December 29, 2017 [12 favorites]

"DeathFart: Martian Socialist" will be my first project.
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:48 PM on December 29, 2017 [4 favorites]

Behold, I am Inoffensive Man. And this is my trusty sidekick, Bland Boy. We don't really do anything much. Just sit around in costumes all day watching the Disney Channel. Also, despite his moniker, I'd like to point out that Bland Boy is actually 19.
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 12:48 PM on December 29, 2017 [18 favorites]

how does a super soldier tear his super acl, come on

It healed in less than a day. The rest of the six weeks was an excuse to catch up on stuff on his 20th/21st century stuff he missed lists, and also make Bucky and Sam indulge his every whim. (Steve Rogers: not willing to put anyone out by confessing or admitting to his actual problems, but totally willing to milk unnecessary sympathy for his fake problems, because that counts as trolling.)

Also this means he gets to go, "oh no, guess I can't be Captain America for a couple months! You two will have to share the shield," to Sam and Bucky and watch the ensuing hilarity.
posted by yasaman at 12:57 PM on December 29, 2017 [4 favorites]

Last summer, Bland Boy and I were interns at Avengers Mansion. Nothing much happed, so we were in heaven. We pretty much spent all of our time polishing Thor's hammer. Of course he'd have to lift it for us so we could polish the underside. It takes teamwork to polish Thor's hammer.
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 1:01 PM on December 29, 2017 [13 favorites]

The best way to use this tool is by re-purposing the scripts of newspaper comics... SpiderMan as Garfield, Captain America as Dilbert and the X-Men as the Peanuts gang (of course, Charlie Brown is Wolverine).
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:02 PM on December 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

This all makes me miss Microsoft Comic Chat, which had way better art, thanks to Jim Woodring.
posted by deadaluspark at 1:03 PM on December 29, 2017 [6 favorites]

No double entendres, Fromage!
posted by RobotHero at 1:05 PM on December 29, 2017 [6 favorites]

"Maybe Wolverine could share his pie. Then they could *both* have pie!"

Hmm, occurs to me that even Itchy and Scratchy slow-dancing could run afoul of these rules, as cat-mouse relations could constitute alternative lifestyle advocation.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 1:08 PM on December 29, 2017 [4 favorites]

 Any “controversial topics,” including “social issues”

Isn't this literally every X-Men issue/episode/film?
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:08 PM on December 29, 2017 [6 favorites]

I am Inoffensive Man. I wouldn't know an entendre if it doubled up on my face.
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 1:08 PM on December 29, 2017 [14 favorites]

This is just begging for a Monty Python grade script and dialog where very single line and panel has at least two innuendos and layers behind a perfect bland story, and it skirts the line like a surgeon's razor.

And, really, that's about the best we could hope for out of this.
posted by loquacious at 1:12 PM on December 29, 2017

I really hope this new toy is featured in the new Deadpool movie.
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 1:12 PM on December 29, 2017

This all makes me miss Microsoft Comic Chat, which had way better art, thanks to Jim Woodring.

I've never heard of this, and now I need to know a lot more and how this one escaped Microsoft's legal department alive. Because Jim Woodring is a total freak. Well, his art is, anyway.

I had a chance to view the giant fountain pen exhibit at the Frye and I think my brain and visual cortex is still a wee bit melted.
posted by loquacious at 1:14 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

A little inside info, from the front lines, as it were: Captain America's shield is not actually made of Vibranium. His real shield is Peggy Carter. At least that's what I heard Bucky tell Sam Wilson.
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 1:16 PM on December 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

So Infinity War isn't the first time he's had a beard?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:26 PM on December 29, 2017 [6 favorites]

I would love to see a list of Marvel's current/recent titles and characters completely banned by these restrictions, expressed as a percentage of total titles/characters. I'm guessing it would be more than 50%.

In other news, the rights grab upsets me much more. They reserve the right to do all of the normal things required for apps like this but also print, adapt, etc, without payment (duh) or even attribution. Probably normal boilerplate but still pretty x@#%ing s@!##y.
posted by sirshannon at 1:26 PM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

I've never heard of this, and now I need to know a lot more and how this one escaped Microsoft's legal department alive. Because Jim Woodring is a total freak.

Don't worry, Jerkcity (a bit nsfw; previously) has been dragging Comic Chat through the mud for over 19 years by this point.

(I imagine that sort of thing is exactly what Marvel is trying to prevent here...)
posted by neckro23 at 1:28 PM on December 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

Dr. Seuss comics used to scare me when I was a little kid... so yeah, 'scare little kids' is lit everything.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:37 PM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

You know what word Hawkeye hates? "Quiver." Tony Stark loves to play a game where he uses the word "Quiver" as often as possible. He'd get on a role, and suddenly Hawkeye would head out to the shop to fletch his arrows. He spent a lot of time out there fletching his arrows, I gotta say. They were well fletched, Hawkeye's arrows were. "Quiver."
posted by Fromage`a Trois at 1:37 PM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

It takes teamwork to polish Thor's hammer.

This is not only a double entendre, as pointed out above, but also misleading language.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:43 PM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

This line from the Verge article sums up the absurdity of the whole "oh noes censorship" take on this:

Obviously, this isn’t the first time that comic book artists have faced bizarre restrictions.

Comic book artists are not now and not likely to ever face "bizarre restrictions" on what they write or draw because of this, barring particular twists in the ongoing Trumpocalypse, of course. That's because comic book artists don't depend on the equivalent of online Legos to create their works, generally. Or, if they do, they're not insistent on using a medium and platform obviously built by Marvel to promote itself. I'm going to go way out on a limb and assume that Avi Arad is not going to lose a minute of sleep at the thought of some rebel making a picture of a naked Squirrel Girl fucking a negligee-clad Wolverine on a bed of bees in Universal Orlando Resort, all whacked out on Benadryl. He's just not going to give you the tools to do so. Aspiring edgelords will simply have to use Poser, or, heaven forfend, learn to draw.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:59 PM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

I just watched the video - there's a character in the fucking video with a bare midriff.
posted by wotsac at 2:05 PM on December 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

Scandalous!
posted by paper chromatographologist at 2:31 PM on December 29, 2017

Mod note: Couple comments removed. If your sole contribution to thread is to talk about how you're rolling your eyes vaguely at the subject, just give it a pass entirely and go read something that doesn't make you roll your eyes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:43 PM on December 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

Content passing Disney rules...

HULK: HULK LOVE LASAGNA. HATE MONDAYS.

SPIDER-MAN: My real name is Irving.
ELSA: ACK!

THOR: My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and stay immortal.

PROF X: I thought I was a genius. But I've turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent.
posted by zaixfeep at 2:44 PM on December 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

a picture of a naked Squirrel Girl fucking a negligee-clad Wolverine on a bed of bees in Universal Orlando Resort, all whacked out on Benadryl


OK- get out of my head!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:04 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

Monthly Music thread: every person shallowly shits on the niche stuff you love, makes fun of you personally and you have to shut up and take it
Bi-Weekly Marvel thread: any comments questioning the necessity of adults loudly complaining about children’s entertainment is deleted, even though it’s more on topic than most of the rest of the thread where people are just talking about obscure comic plots.

I’d post this to metatalk, but let’s face it. It would just get deleted there too. Like I’m not eyerolling at the subject matter. I’m eyerolling at the idea that comics MUST be for adults now. Want to try to make a platform for just young kids? Welll stop that censoring fascist pigs!
posted by cyphill at 3:07 PM on December 29, 2017

lol irl
posted by poffin boffin at 3:10 PM on December 29, 2017 [7 favorites]

It's not that it's made for kids. It isn't. It's made for lawyers. The restrictions severely limit its quality and interest as a child's toy. Could a kid make an Axe Cop under these rules?

(relevant Achewood somehow)
posted by Countess Elena at 3:16 PM on December 29, 2017 [17 favorites]

I’m eyerolling at the idea that comics MUST be for adults now. Want to try to make a platform for just young kids? Welll stop that censoring fascist pigs!

My own view on this is that these rules/restrictions as set up by Marvel, are primarily in place not to protect children but to protect themselves. It's a way for Marvel to hold on to their licensed Marvel heroes/material. It feels more as a corporate self-interest money thing and that is where so much of the snark is coming from.
posted by Fizz at 3:19 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

Also, what Countess Elena just said.
posted by Fizz at 3:19 PM on December 29, 2017

Just because it's targeted at young people doesn't mean adults shouldn't rightly take offense at the fact that a giant popular media conglomerate thinks depictions of gay people and 'social issues' (e.g., homelessness, racism, etc.) aren't appropriate subjects for children.
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:26 PM on December 29, 2017 [19 favorites]

(relevant Achewood somehow)


Fucking Pat.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:31 PM on December 29, 2017 [4 favorites]

zaixfeep:
SPIDER-MAN
ELSA

THE WATCHER: I have witnessed what you have done in that location.
posted by BiggerJ at 3:32 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

I didn’t see the “alternative lifestyles” thing, which definitely reeks. But people need to remember that itemized lists like this are for the consumer not lawyers. Look where twitter landed with their nebulous rules. They tried to be vague so they wouldn’t have to crack down on stuff they didn’t want to and now no one has any idea what people are getting banned for. I almost guarantee this list was created in part as a response to the weird disturbing videos that flooded YouTube kids. Those videos which are clearly disturbing but cannot be clearly categorized. The ones that have cost youtube kids thousands of users and received hundreds of hours of negative press?

Publishing specific rules like this is better than hand waves rules because 1) they clearly inform consumers and 2) they provide specific policies to push back against.
posted by cyphill at 3:38 PM on December 29, 2017

I don't feel clearly informed by "killer bees, gossip, aliens, scandal, etc."
posted by RobotHero at 5:05 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

So the thesis is that we're mad that we're not allowed to be mean about adults liking comic books, which are for children, but we're also mad because we are allowed to be mean about indie rock, a continuing obsession with which is no way arguably similarly juvenile?
posted by ominous_paws at 5:06 PM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

Could a kid make an Axe Cop under these rules?

Why not? Axe Cop was made before this product, and its rules, even existed. Do people believe that Disney is going to buy up all the pens, bristol board, and art software that exists, and that this product will literally be the only way to make comics? Or is it really about just finding it intolerable that there's one corner of the digiverse that shitlords aren't allowed to run free in?
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:54 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

I've often wished that there was a space for fanart and fanfiction that was also family-friendly and SFL, a kind of Tumblr or DeviantArt where you could search your favorite cartoon character without accidentally finding yourself in the depths of the human id.

Archive of Our Own allows you to filter by character and other tags if you want. It's more fanfic than fanart though.
posted by divabat at 6:03 PM on December 29, 2017

even though it’s more on topic than most of the rest of the thread where people are just talking about obscure comic plots.



Um- excuse me, but some of us were shipping various Captains America.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:35 PM on December 29, 2017 [6 favorites]

> komara:
"Madelyne Pryor in Inferno was the first place I encountered even the idea of underboobs but hey, you go ahead and ban midriffs if that makes you feel better."

I forgot how blatant those were. [closes GIS tab]
posted by Samizdata at 6:46 PM on December 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

Content passing Disney rules...

HULK: HULK LOVE LASAGNA. HATE MONDAYS.

[this image was removed because it contained a bare midriff]
posted by Sys Rq at 7:23 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

> cortex:
"[Couple comments removed. If your sole contribution to thread is to talk about how you're rolling your eyes vaguely at the subject, just give it a pass entirely and go read something that doesn't make you roll your eyes.]"

But eye rolling was the secret power of the new superhero I was going to make... MeFi Blue!
posted by Samizdata at 8:11 PM on December 29, 2017

Publishing specific rules like this is better than hand waves rules because 1) they clearly inform consumers and 2) they provide specific policies to push back against.

I've heard there's a website out there that's well known for high-quality user submitted content that has historically resisted exhaustive lists of allowed or disallowed discourse, knowing that it largely becomes a tool for people to skirt the edge and rules-lawyer their way out of consequences for shitty behavior.

I think it's like ... MateFlitter? MeatPhiltres?

Something like that.
posted by tocts at 8:20 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

Content that could frighten (...) the parents of young children.

Absolutely no 5 PM car nap storylines. Ever.
posted by The Toad at 9:34 PM on December 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

Hey, Disney is just trying to make sure that young kids follow the Comics Authority Code... that's still enforced, right?

But really, this is an old game for Marvel- no need to pay people for ideas if you can just coax the zombies to give it away for free. It's how Marvel got Wolverine back in 1971- he was the winning character design in a character design contest. Marvel got Wolvie for a song.

Or ask the Kirby estate. Or Bill Mantlo's descendants.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 9:34 PM on December 29, 2017

It's how Marvel got Wolverine back in 1971- he was the winning character design in a character design contest.

Not really. Unless you count the metal skeleton (the fan's design makes him look more like a straight-up cyborg), they have nothing in common but the name, and if that counts, then obviously Logan was created by the University of Michigan.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:47 PM on December 29, 2017

To be fair I'd kind of enjoy a comic that was basically Jim's Journal but with superheroes.
posted by kyrademon at 3:13 AM on December 30, 2017

I think it's like ... MateFlitter? MeatPhiltres?

BeanPlaters
posted by XtinaS at 4:07 AM on December 30, 2017 [3 favorites]

"Alternative lifestyles" of the fish & famous
posted by Artw at 8:34 AM on December 30, 2017

Do you want euphemisms? This is how you get euphemisms.
posted by frecklefaerie at 9:19 AM on December 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

... wow... so Deadpool really can't do his breaking the 4th wall Schtick and hock some penis enlargement drugs? Next you'll say he's not allowed to refer to Mickey Mouse in overly friendly terms...
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:36 AM on December 30, 2017

To be fair, when actual Marvel writers do all of these things, they've gone through whatever hiring process is supposed to keep out the worst of the worst. While fan-fic will gladly make "Zootopia characters in anti-abortion polemic" or "Sonic finds out how many butt-holes Tails has."
posted by RobotHero at 12:12 PM on December 30, 2017

I tried MateFlitter, but the dudes I met kept ghosting on me.

That's a shame about Andy Olsen, one way or the other. I could see where somebody might make that kind of grudge a life's work, like the woman who believed J.K. Rowling ripped her off or the guy who's convinced he invented email. It looks like he did just fine otherwise.

(P.S., if you do not know what RobotHero is referring to, it is this, which reinforces my theory that the most disturbing fan art is SFW, professionally done and on-model)
posted by Countess Elena at 12:51 PM on December 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

I had never considered the matter of Tail's butthole(s) before.
posted by Artw at 1:04 PM on December 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

I’m trying to think of existing comics that meet these requirements.

Peanuts?
Family Circus? (I seem to recall some midriff baring so maybe not)
Marmaduke?
posted by ananci at 1:47 PM on December 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

Peanuts?

Absolutely not. Peanuts is basically all about things young children and their parents could find upsetting. Like the sure certainty that no matter what you do, you'll never be good enough or really loved. That and plenty of social issues and controversial topics.
posted by asperity at 6:06 PM on December 30, 2017 [3 favorites]