Lace up your fastest track shoes and run

December 31, 2017 3:52 PM

It was a banner year for advice columns. From wearing a princess costume to a corporate meeting to answering the question of why "cat ladies" get a bad rap - people across the country gave the Green a run for it's money.

Ask a Manager compiled the top 10 commented posts of 2017, including such highlights as I ghosted my ex and she’s about to be my new boss and my employee got her colleagues arrested for smoking pot at a conference.

Meanwhile Ask Amy had some highlights with lace up your fastest track shoes and run and confronting a child predator. Meanwhile, in case you missed it back in 2013 - Classic Ask Amy: Have you considered not being heterosexual?

Dear Prudence as always hit top marks for her discussions of class, and asking the age old question, "Do I sound like a villain in a Reese Witherspoon Movie?"

And the NYTimes Social Q's went a little naughty with a question about sex tapes, and a little Brooklyn with a question about an Ivy League farmer.

Of course it wasn't all good across the Advice World. Dear Abby missed the mark on a question about gun control. Meanwhile Dan Savage is apparently "no more fun" since the "internet came along and ruined everything for everyone."

posted by Toddles (14 comments total)

I only get my advice from "Hoops" McElroy.

Seriously, though, some fun links.

I pine for Dan Savage's "Let's explain buttplugs to people" days of yore, too.
posted by deadaluspark at 4:41 PM on December 31, 2017

Dan Savage's column is one of the few times "The Internet and its ubiquity ruined a thing" has been well-argued.
posted by ardgedee at 5:52 PM on December 31, 2017 [2 favorites]

But even at that, what it ruined was the entertainment value of his column. I don't imagine him willing to defend the notion that free and open access to information about sex and how to do it is bad.
posted by ardgedee at 5:54 PM on December 31, 2017 [1 favorite]

For me drifting away from Savage Love was less about the ubiquity of the internet and more about the ubiquity of Dan Savage's opinions. I feel like I've pretty much heard everything he has to say and don't particularly need or want to hear any more.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:13 PM on December 31, 2017 [12 favorites]

Dan Savage is a fucking asshole. I hate that he's synonymous with fun, sexy advice columns and I also hate that The Stranger is so steeped is misogyny that they lost Lindy West and kept Dan Savage's fatphobic, biphobic judgment masquerading as tough love. He represents everything I hated about Seattle — a smug progressive face that actually has a healthy dose of body shaming and sexism that no one wants to call out because he has a bully pulpit and he makes you feel good about yourself. He's not fun anymore because some people realized that being a conventionally attractive, gay, cis white male who gives advice about and at marginalized people is problematic and he's getting shittier as people push back. One day I hope that awareness causes him to close his computer and think about what he's done.

The self congratulatory cutesy acronyms alone are enough for me to hate him.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 10:15 PM on December 31, 2017 [30 favorites]

It says a lot about 2017 that I really thought the "villain from a Reese Witherspoon movie" post came out several years ago.
posted by happyroach at 11:34 PM on December 31, 2017 [2 favorites]

I really want to know what happened with the ghosted boss. Probably an itch that I'll never get to scratch.
posted by postel's law at 5:44 AM on January 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

Postel’s Law, there’s an update. Happy New Year to ya!
posted by thebrokedown at 6:17 AM on January 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

I’ve had a hard time with Ask a Manager after reading this 2010 article about harassment problems at the non-profit where she handled HR. There was a recent update which got a personal explanation.
posted by adamsc at 6:42 AM on January 1, 2018

FYI, adamsc, there's a still-open FPP about the articles and Alison Green's personal update, we should probably keep discussion of Green's mishandling of the Kampia situation over there so it doesn't take over this thread.
posted by oh yeah! at 7:37 AM on January 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

This Ask Polly question and answer were very enlightening to me. I've never read a better explanation of the reason people seek out and refuse to leave unhealthy relationships.
posted by soelo at 5:15 PM on January 1, 2018 [6 favorites]

I admit that I read AAM only to read stories of people behaving badly, so that Alison herself was involved in that shitshow doesn't dim the appeal.
posted by uberchet at 7:50 AM on January 2, 2018

This Ask Polly question and answer were very enlightening to me. I've never read a better explanation of the reason people seek out and refuse to leave unhealthy relationships.

I came in to complain about the ghosted question, because let's be honest dude didn't ghost someone after a couple of dates but actually straight up abandoned someone after dating them for three years and living with them for two. So... eff that guy.
But that question and answer was beyond enlightening and more or less, with a few small changes, described my life. I think I'll print that out and take her advice seriously.
posted by P.o.B. at 10:40 AM on January 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

This Ask Polly question from this year, "I Overshared My Way Out of a Boyfriend", totally blew my mind. She describes perfectly my behavior in college and beyond, where I would overshare things just to feel like I was important or to test people.

Telling yourself a story about how your life is a crazy roller-coaster and you’re just a nutty oversharer and there’s nothing you can do about it is another way of being controlled by forces you don’t understand, forces that are making you sad and exacerbate your insecurities.

It’s time to face the fact that not everyone wants the same things you do from conversations and social engagements. God, this was tough for me to figure out! It took so fucking long. I always figured that since I was being very open and straightforward about everything I’d been through, it wasn’t a big deal to analyze other people’s challenges. After all, I told them all my stuff. Why couldn’t everyone throw all of their baggage and issues on the table and sort through it together, you know, for kicks?

Just lovely. I really appreciate internet advice columns or crowdsourced advice like Dear Sugar, Ask Metafilter, Captain Awkward, and Ask a Manager — I've learned more from these sources & Metafilter at large than from any therapist. I'm an introvert and grew up feeling like I was not quite like other people, so these jolts of recognition and wondrous "but I thought it was just me!" moments are indelible and encourage me to connect more with the outer world.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 11:36 AM on January 2, 2018 [1 favorite]