Do these cinnamon rolls somehow destroy the patriarchy?
January 11, 2018 11:17 AM   Subscribe

Geraldine DeRuiter from The Everywhereist likes to bake, so she decided to make the cinnamon roll recipe that accompanied Mario Batali's letter of apology for sexual harassment. The results may or may not make good eating, but I think they make good reading. accusations of harassment against Batali, previously)
posted by rmd1023 (44 comments total) 105 users marked this as a favorite
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 11:33 AM on January 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

I have been sharing this like mad. LOVE. IT.
posted by Kitteh at 11:40 AM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:42 AM on January 11, 2018

The result will be sub-par because he hasn’t provided all the information, and I will blame myself.

Whooooooooooooo boy, yup
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:44 AM on January 11, 2018 [19 favorites]

"I make my own, because I’m a woman, and for us there are no fucking shortcuts. We spend 25 years working our asses off to be the most qualified Presidential candidate in U.S. history and we get beaten out by a sexual deviant who likely needs to call the front desk for help when he’s trying to order pornos in his hotel room.

Donald Trump is President, so I’m making the goddamn dough by scratch."

posted by amanda at 11:44 AM on January 11, 2018 [41 favorites]

That 's some really powerful writing. And more than that -- it's a brilliant piece of performance art. Wow.
posted by treepour at 11:45 AM on January 11, 2018 [4 favorites]

That was pretty delicious. The article. The cinnamon rolls apparently weren't.
posted by Nelson at 11:46 AM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

I was right about the texture – the dough is too tough. I hate them, but I keep eating them. Like I’m somehow destroying Batali’s shitty sexist horcrux in every bite.
posted by kokaku at 11:51 AM on January 11, 2018 [12 favorites]

also, it's awfully dusty in my kitchen after reading that (sadness for everyone who is subjected to such disregard, disappointment frustration rage in men's continued shittiness, despair, hope & joy at such writing and the voices that are speaking up and out over & over again)
posted by kokaku at 11:54 AM on January 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

I will say what I commented on her blog.

"Absolutely brilliant."
posted by Samizdata at 12:02 PM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

God everything men do just makes me so mad. The dishwasher in my office STILL hadn't been unloaded when I got to work this morning (someone ran it TWO DAYS AGO) and I'm the first one in and I actually typed an email to send to everyone in the organization being like WHY HASN'T ANYONE EMPTIED THE DISHWASHER TWENTY PEOPLE WORK HERE but of course I didn't send it because then I look like the crazy one*.

I have a personal policy where, based on the size of the office and how often we run the dishwasher, I empty it once every two weeks. If the dishwasher had stayed full until Tuesday, I would have emptied it. This policy makes me seem like an uptight nutcase (maybe accurate?) but I have it because otherwise I'll empty the dishwasher constantly while seething so now I don't do that BUT I have to keep track of when I last emptied the dishwasher because this (disproportionately male) office is full of people who assume someone else will do it. I mostly like my co-workers and they tolerate a lot of nonsense from me but this just reminded me how fucking mad I am about every single fucking thing, all the shortcuts men are constantly taking that make life harder for women who then not only have a harder situation (or, as it might be, fucking terrible cinnamon buns) but then blame ourselves for it. I am constantly blaming myself for things and feeling regret about my choices even though my life is pretty good. The flippant thing where Mario Batali doesn't even realize he can't halfass his way out of this by throwing us the scraps of a shitty recipe is part of the problem, where it literally doesn't occur to him that maybe he doesn't have a get out of jail free card. I am shocked by the number of men who think the fact that they apologized means we owe them forgiveness. It was a good essay, thank you.

*I did tell my officemate I'd typed up something I hadn't sent and she said "Did it begin 'Dear Men'?" so I'm staying on brand at work I guess.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 12:03 PM on January 11, 2018 [73 favorites]

I use Batali’s recipe that he’s linked to, which I’ve made before, and I’m already hesitant. Pizza dough is chewy and crispy, not tender – the latter is what you’d hope cinnamon rolls would be. It’s a savory recipe – incorporating white wine and a generous amount of salt – and I feel like he’s shoe-horning it into a dessert where it doesn’t belong. He’s cutting corners because he gets to cut corners.

This really resonated with me. I count myself a baker, with all that entails of how she described it
Good baking means being able to roll with setbacks and mistakes and ovens that for some reason run twenty degrees hot but only on Sundays, a metaphor so aligned with loving someone that it feels almost too obvious. Good baking requires an attention to detail and care that is hard to muster when you just don’t give a shit or you are distracted by your own rage. Good baking means you have to trust yourself.
and .... my eyebrows crinkled at the idea of a savory, chewy/crispy dough (to the extent of white wine? really?) for cinnamon rolls.

So with that setup she nailed that oh-so-familiar feeling of knowing some over-confident guy or long-established social convention is totally wrong, but you just have to do it anyway because patriarchy.
posted by Dashy at 12:04 PM on January 11, 2018 [21 favorites]

First I'd heard of Batali's sexual harassment. I liked him and this is just terrible.

And his decision to include a recipe with his apology is...incomprehensible.
posted by darkstar at 12:05 PM on January 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

Batali says to cut them in slices roughly three inches thick, which is too wide. The rolls should not be that thick. I know this is wrong, but I do it anyway because that is what the recipe says.

Malicious Compliance
posted by leotrotsky at 12:05 PM on January 11, 2018 [11 favorites]

This made me angry.

It made me angry in the way you get angry when you've been angry all along, but now, only now, you're actually in it, feeling it, making it yours.
posted by meese at 12:11 PM on January 11, 2018 [27 favorites]

It also made me laugh a whole lot.
posted by meese at 12:11 PM on January 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

MeFi has introduced me to my two newest favorite writers this week. Well done!
posted by DrAstroZoom at 12:12 PM on January 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

It's 2018, who can spare wine to put into cinnamon rolls when you could be drinking it.
posted by Sequence at 12:16 PM on January 11, 2018 [10 favorites]

Would never have dreamed that social justice writing and scathing food writing (two of the best things in life) could mesh so well, much like pizza dough recipes and cinnamon roll recipes do not. Thanks for sharing.
posted by Gymnopedist at 12:19 PM on January 11, 2018 [17 favorites]

Really great writing. So funny and so... I was going to say sad but it's more scathingly bitter.
posted by not_the_water at 12:24 PM on January 11, 2018 [3 favorites]


Thanks for sharing, rmd1023.
posted by lord_wolf at 12:34 PM on January 11, 2018

This was great. Is there an anti-sexual harassment cinnamon roll recipe I can use, now? Because I suddenly want some cinnamon rolls.
posted by redsparkler at 12:39 PM on January 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

This is really wonderful for lots of reasons, the absolute least of which is the decision to write "pornos" instead of "porn."
posted by uncleozzy at 12:39 PM on January 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

I think about how the last conversation about compensation I had resulted in someone who made more yearly than I ever will telling me I was holding them “emotionally hostage” and then demanding to know, over and over again why I needed the money.

“Just tell me,” they demanded. “Tell me why you need it.” Over and over until it broke me.


This is absolutely riling me.

I made a lasagna one year based on Batali's recipe to take to a dinner party. Followed it to the letter, and it was too dense by half. Hardly anyone could eat more than sliver of it. I had leftover lasagna every day for almost 2 weeks, mainly because I couldn't bear to throw perfectly good food away and wasn't sure if it would freeze well.
posted by droplet at 12:45 PM on January 11, 2018 [11 favorites]

She's also responsible for this, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Postapocalyptic Tweets, which isn't as anger-inducing.
posted by Gorgik at 12:51 PM on January 11, 2018 [12 favorites]

Donald Trump is President, so I found Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls on sale and bought the ones with 'Orange' frosting. Because Poppin Fresh is never going to complain about being poked...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:58 PM on January 11, 2018

redsparkler, you might try BraveTart's cinnamon rolls as a palate cleanser, because Stella Parks, unlike MB, knows what she is doing.
posted by halation at 1:07 PM on January 11, 2018 [11 favorites]

Oh hell yes. I made Stella's cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning and they were killer.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:10 PM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

*standing ovation*
posted by seyirci at 1:10 PM on January 11, 2018

That was delicious.
posted by RandomInconsistencies at 1:28 PM on January 11, 2018

Droplet, I'm not sure that counts as 'perfectly good' food, really.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 1:36 PM on January 11, 2018

That essay was perfect.
posted by maggiemaggie at 1:52 PM on January 11, 2018

That was fucking fabulous.

I met MB once at a mutual acquaintance's wedding and let's just say I was supremely unsurprised when the allegations came out. This half-assed, slapped-together recipe is just so perfect.
posted by widdershins at 1:55 PM on January 11, 2018

Someone linked this on fb, and I thought I wonder if Mya is on Metafilter? and then I read the fucking article. The quote amanda pulled hooked me, hard. Nothing else I can say. Geraldine DeRuiter said everything that should be said. Respect.
posted by theora55 at 2:43 PM on January 11, 2018



posted by sciatrix at 3:23 PM on January 11, 2018

HypotheticalWoman, I spent more money on the ingredients for that lasagna than I had two weeks previously doing my regular shopping. I was going to eat it either way.
posted by droplet at 3:45 PM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Wow. That was so right and so awful and so delicious. I’m just speechless.
posted by Mchelly at 3:53 PM on January 11, 2018

If you want lasagne from heaven, you start at smitten kitchen by making her bolognese sauce. Then make your own noodles (not hard, super rewarding), then finally make a bechamel sauce and put it all together, as she describes, the Everest of lasagne.

It's the perfect thing for a snow day.
posted by Dashy at 6:15 PM on January 11, 2018 [8 favorites]

Oh my god that was great.
posted by biggreenplant at 6:32 PM on January 11, 2018

This is a great piece of writing, but too close to home. By the end of the piece I found myself unexpectedly angry and teary, and so so tired.
posted by rakaidan at 7:06 PM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Her entire blog is worth a read (and has destroyed my productivity today).
posted by leslies at 7:48 PM on January 11, 2018

That was wonderful and sad and pretty much everything I am feeling every day. It also led me to a t-shirt that says "I bake because punching people is frowned upon" which is also awesome.
posted by WordCannon at 5:34 PM on January 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

The author of this piece was hacked, and may not get her verified Twitter account back because the hackers changed which email account was connected to the account after they hacked it.
posted by misskaz at 12:19 PM on January 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

She just got it back.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 3:53 PM on January 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

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