Perri-Air
January 21, 2018 9:38 AM   Subscribe

Fresh air for sale Before long, Lam and Paquette had developed a small industry and others began to cotton on to the opportunity. There is now luxury air, cold-pressed air, 100% mountain air. There is air canned for the benefit of mothers (“Keep awake and command the household in a natural way.”) There is air for work. Air for kids. Air for grandparents.

In November, Lam told me that his company had sold “over 200,000 bottles, easy”, and that nearly all of his orders are delivered to regions troubled by high levels of pollution. Target markets include China, India, Vietnam, Russia, Turkey, Iraq and Kuwait. Often, customers are buying a product they hope will offer much-needed respite, if not a cure. “Our air product is mainly sold to people in affected areas,” Lam said. “This air is for export.”
posted by indubitable (56 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
And the privitization of the commons continues. yay?

like fiji water, we are making the global pollution problem worse to sell a few people a temporary respite from our collective suffering. Profitable suicide.
posted by Anchorite_of_Palgrave at 9:54 AM on January 21, 2018 [16 favorites]


frynotsureifserious.jpg

*reads*

killmekillmenow.png
thestupiditburns.gif
flamessideface.bmp
posted by Spathe Cadet at 9:57 AM on January 21, 2018 [11 favorites]


That is simply amazing. Kudos to them.
posted by davidmsc at 10:04 AM on January 21, 2018


I've always read dystopian science fiction. Slowly, I see how prescient some writers were.
posted by theora55 at 10:07 AM on January 21, 2018 [11 favorites]


Yet all the oxygen bars closed almost 20 years ago here, and I can't find a reliable source for canned peppermint o2...free markets run by scammers ruin everything.
posted by zinful at 10:07 AM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


I've always read dystopian science fiction. Slowly, I see how prescient some writers were.

They basically pinched the first chapter of my Atmos Airvedeen fanfic.
posted by adept256 at 10:09 AM on January 21, 2018


Does anyone else notice the irony of sucking in fresh air using a two stroke engine that's intensely polluting its immediate surroundings?

Octalp: The pure fresh mountain air with just a hint of unburnt hydrocarbon.
posted by Talez at 10:12 AM on January 21, 2018 [17 favorites]


Does anyone else notice the irony of sucking in fresh air using a two stroke engine that's intensely polluting its immediate surroundings?

Verily, I can hardly notice anything else.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 10:14 AM on January 21, 2018 [10 favorites]


Silicon Valley also has a startup that plans to be a disruption to the indoor air market. It's a squarish device with no visible blades that you insert in an open window. It's called Blowhrd and it costs $800. It's already attracted $100m in VC funding.

Admit it. You didn't quite know if that was fake or not.
posted by Talez at 10:15 AM on January 21, 2018 [31 favorites]


cf.

Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam at 10:17 AM on January 21, 2018 [18 favorites]


What gall! Next thing you know, they’ll be marketing bottled air for use underwater!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:21 AM on January 21, 2018 [5 favorites]


Does anyone else notice the irony of sucking in fresh air using a two stroke engine that's intensely polluting its immediate surroundings?

also, shipping it halfway around the world
posted by indubitable at 10:21 AM on January 21, 2018 [5 favorites]


Does anyone else notice the irony of sucking in fresh air using a two stroke engine that's intensely polluting its immediate surroundings?

I bet passing it through the compressor/filling equipment loads it up with all sorts of fun stuff from the compressor innards, lubricants, whatever outgasses from the plastic parts and so on.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:23 AM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


The Last Airvendor.
posted by The otter lady at 10:43 AM on January 21, 2018 [25 favorites]


But will bottled air save you from the raw water that you just drank??
posted by astapasta24 at 10:45 AM on January 21, 2018 [10 favorites]


Would you put a price on the air we breathe, or the providence that sustains us?

Well, the Church already has the latter market cornered, so...
posted by es_de_bah at 10:46 AM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm disappointed they didn't take their inspiration from Spaceballs.
posted by Foosnark at 10:53 AM on January 21, 2018 [15 favorites]


I remember a webcomic where the punchline was some business-ey type sitting there and pondering, "Hmm, how can I monetize air?"

So now they've disrupted satire.
posted by fnerg at 10:57 AM on January 21, 2018 [3 favorites]


Selling balls of space may be the next real-estate bubble.
posted by adept256 at 10:58 AM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


“Hey....have I got a bridge of a deal, I mean a deal of a bridge, I mean....hi, I'm Fizz and you look like someone who likes to save money!”
posted by Fizz at 11:09 AM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


Your Brain on Carbon Dioxide: Research Finds Even Low Levels of Indoor CO2 Impair Thinking

Air pollution harm to unborn babies may be global health catastrophe, warn doctors

Danger in the air: How air pollution can affect brain development in young children


Air pollution exposure in early pregnancy linked to miscarriage, NIH study suggests

I know that air is the example given when we're talking about things we take for granted, but when multiple studies indicate that our species is having trouble adapting to the atmosphere we're creating, and people are getting desperate enough to pay for bottles of imported fresh air, perhaps we should start to wonder if this is going to be an issue.
posted by MrVisible at 11:10 AM on January 21, 2018 [12 favorites]


I don't think there's any question that air pollution is and has long been an issue. I also don't think there's any question that bottled, imported air is one of the stupidest attempts to address the problem possible.
posted by biogeo at 11:32 AM on January 21, 2018 [12 favorites]


Just because you have a cryptographically secure combination on your luggage doesn’t mean you’re not an idiot.
posted by infinitewindow at 11:37 AM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


I don't Totally Recall where I first read about this...
posted by Oyéah at 11:40 AM on January 21, 2018 [5 favorites]


I remember trying something like that once. I was at a convenience store once and saw cans for sale. So, of course, me being me, I bought one. Which led to my friends and I tooling around town, hitting off the can, and lines like "Man, stop bogarting the O2" being said.

Not sure if it was the placebo effect or not, but it did seem to perk things up a bit.
posted by Samizdata at 11:41 AM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


So... Raw Air?
posted by Splunge at 11:43 AM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


So... Raw Air?

Raw Air comes years from now, when folks in Shanghai start believing that pollution is good for you and all the filters are unnecessary.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:49 AM on January 21, 2018 [9 favorites]


Ben Elton wrote a play that was pretty much exactly this in 1990. I got to see it in London.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 11:53 AM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


Vanity Air
posted by hortense at 11:53 AM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


What would Quicksilver Meesenger Service have to say about this?

Given the amount of air they are selling any claim of health benefits is preposterous. Just another scam for the gullible rich. I did notice that in one picture the scammer is using a gas powered compressor to package his product. I hope the air intake isn’t too close to or downwind from the exhaust. Any experienced SCUBA diver can tell you about the danger inherent in that.
posted by TedW at 12:29 PM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


Welcome to Thneedville
posted by Kabanos at 12:53 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


I read the article, and all I kept thinking, over and over, was "For fuck's sake."
posted by Ickster at 12:56 PM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


Does anyone else notice the irony of sucking in fresh air using a two stroke engine

A little irony gives the air a certain piquant flavor.
posted by chavenet at 1:21 PM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


This timeline has gone from blow to suck.
posted by snwod at 1:23 PM on January 21, 2018 [10 favorites]


What would Quicksilver Messenger Service have to say about this? ooo ooo ooo ooo, have another hit!
posted by Oyéah at 1:41 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


So... Raw Air?

Vanity Air


Boutique Air
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:52 PM on January 21, 2018


Not one interview with a "customer"? If this is actually real, there's an assumption here that they know how these bottles are being "used" that may be wholly incorrect.
posted by Selena777 at 4:10 PM on January 21, 2018


Given London's diesel smogs, I have been wondering how long until some property developer builds the city's first domed community for the super-rich, complete with a pipeline bringing fresh air from the Scottish highlands (or the Swiss Alps, via a continuous line of pressurised tankers). I imagine it can't be that far off.
posted by acb at 4:19 PM on January 21, 2018


I'm old enough to remember that every gas station had FREE air for your car/bike tires. When some of them started charging a nickle, I was pissed.*

If you want to pay for air, you can buy a bag of chips. Then you get a two-fer--scented air AND a tasty snack.

*I'm still pissed!
posted by BlueHorse at 5:31 PM on January 21, 2018


They also offer a product called "Myst":

Straight from the source. It doesn’t get any fresher than taking the untouched waters of the Rocky Mountain glaciers. We’ve combined the best air in the world with the best water, making a spray designed to refresh like none other. Easily cut through the heat and stressful day with this simply beautiful spray.

They also offer a "sulphur enhanced" version. I'm not clear on what you're supposed to do with it, but it seems to me the sulphur-enhanced one is intended for people who feel the need to experience the pong of a particularly eggy fart at some point in their day.

But perusing their site makes me think this has to be a troll. I mean, come on...their bio page?

It's almost too pitch-perfect. OTOH, maybe this is just how things are now.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:05 PM on January 21, 2018 [3 favorites]


I'm old enough to remember that every gas station had FREE air for your car/bike tires.

I'm sure you can imagine how thrilled I was to find out, shortly after I moved to my current address, that the gas station around the corner has a free air pump! For that alone I'll accept the 2-3 ¢/gallon higher gas prices than the one a bit further down the road that doesn't have free air.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:34 PM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


> Greg_Ace:
"I'm old enough to remember that every gas station had FREE air for your car/bike tires.

I'm sure you can imagine how thrilled I was to find out, shortly after I moved to my current address, that the gas station around the corner has a free air pump! For that alone, I'll accept the 2-3 ¢/gallon higher gas prices than the one a bit further down the road that doesn't have free air."


As someone with a bike with flat tires (and no bike pump), I can sure see the logic of that decision. At a dollar or so a fill, I am sure it all works out in the end.
posted by Samizdata at 6:53 PM on January 21, 2018


"Yeah, so this canned air I bought has a sort of a metallic smell to it? It smells like, well, it smells kinda... Irony?"
posted by Mister Moofoo at 7:01 PM on January 21, 2018 [11 favorites]


I sure do hope those cans are recyclable!
posted by evelvenin at 8:51 PM on January 21, 2018


The 8L Banff air is $32 plus $9.99 shipping, but if you buy the limited-edition 8L Banff Air With Diamonds for $9,500, they give you a break on the shipping: Half price! Only $4.99.

So that's really a better value than it looks at first.
posted by Western Infidels at 9:28 PM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


Banff is also the sound it makes if you drop a cylinder.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:30 PM on January 21, 2018 [5 favorites]


Switzerland is the sound it makes if it bursts open and spurts away like a model rocket.
posted by pracowity at 1:58 AM on January 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


Go home, 2018, you're drunk.
posted by cstross at 3:04 AM on January 22, 2018 [3 favorites]


It might be air, but once canned it ain’t fresh.

Last year I spent a few days in Saranac, New York, where folks once flocked to cure their TB. The air there is unlike anything imaginable. It’s beyond clean, it’s like a drug. I didn’t want to leave.
posted by kinnakeet at 4:38 AM on January 22, 2018


Go home, 2018, you're drunk.

Ssshhaddup, 2017! I already tol' you to hold my beer! Now gimme that lighter, it'll be fiiiine *lights cigarette, falls over into comically large box of fireworks*
posted by loquacious at 5:23 AM on January 22, 2018 [2 favorites]


I am caught betwixt a feeling of horror and a feeling of resign so deep that I might was well call it excited, bewildered joy.
posted by Annika Cicada at 5:52 AM on January 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


Not one mention of the Lorax movie, y'all? Come on.
posted by brook horse at 7:26 AM on January 22, 2018


Not one mention of the Lorax movie, y'all? Come on.

Don't worry, the it's there. (Is that version any good? I just assumed it wouldn't be, really.)
posted by rewil at 9:49 AM on January 22, 2018


Don't worry, the it's there. (Is that version any good? I just assumed it wouldn't be, really.)

Oup! Maybe if I'd been breathing better air I would've caught that. (Honestly I cannot extract my opinion of the movie from the bizarre and slightly horrifying Onceler craze on Tumblr a few years back and therefore suggest you consider the opinion of a less traumatized reviewer.)
posted by brook horse at 10:17 AM on January 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


IMO the 2012 Lorax movie is pretty good and definitely worth a watch if you have kids. I’m not any kind of Dr Seuss purist though.
posted by tomcooke at 10:42 AM on January 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


Yet all the oxygen bars closed almost 20 years ago here, and I can't find a reliable source for canned peppermint o2...free markets run by scammers ruin everything.

I always loved visiting the oxygen bar at the end of a long day. It was the pick-me-up I didn't know I needed. Rows of oxygen masks along the wall where you could sit back and zone out for a bit. Despite the cold LED lighting of the place and the humming of the oxygen machines pushing the fresh compressed air through all the plastic tubing winding around you, it was a brief respite from the real world. I could in some distant way reconnect with the nature Muir and Roosevelt had long ago evangelized about.

Of course we all wanted a better solution to the world's laundry list of environmental problems. But that was hard and this was easy. Even profitable, given the early rave reviews and cult following by the detox community. Some would even call it progress from cigarette or even hookah culture.

We even had the brands. Quality Air for the best value (it was purified air from the factory, not collected), and a growing range of air flavors. Natural Air for the environmental folks who insisted on their High Sierra or Sea Breeze naturally collected, no-additives air.
posted by hexaflexagon at 6:44 PM on January 22, 2018


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