"How do you solve a problem like Mariaaaa"
January 30, 2018 7:59 AM   Subscribe

Yesterday a Tweet of an inked graphic of two nuns dueling, posted by @_ElizabethMay, became one of the top trending topics for the site. In a subthread a user provided a bit of context (it was the front page of a police blotter type paper), and the text of the article. Don't worry, no blood was shed!

hat tip to user @JeffPKramer for the title

Further discussion in the thread lead to a post describing the original dueling nun: Mademoiselle Maupin. She was a "17th century French swordswoman, adventuress and opera star, " who has been deemed in modern terms, "A Badass". Previously.
posted by codacorolla (23 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
"I'm married to God."

"HEY that's MY man, back off sister!!"
posted by solotoro at 8:04 AM on January 30 [15 favorites]


So many nun puns...so many...
posted by Naberius at 8:05 AM on January 30


"Beautiful, valiant, generous and supremely unchaste."
posted by jim in austin at 8:17 AM on January 30 [3 favorites]


I think we've talked about Le Maupin before on the blue, and every time I still can't believe no one has made at least a movie about her yet. I want like a whole series. Staring Janelle Monae. And no one ever mentions her skin color. And the whole thing is done in either French with English subtitles, or in English with New Zealand accent, but with American slang. I want a giant mess of cross cultures in this thing. And her nun lover better be Kelly Marie Tran. It'll be amazing.

* dreams *
posted by numaner at 8:46 AM on January 30 [12 favorites]


Mlle. Maupin was, excepting her sex, the very image of the swashbuckling romantic cavalier: tall, dark and handsome, one of the finest swordswomen or swordsmen of her day.

EXCEPTING??!?!!

/swoons
posted by rtha at 8:52 AM on January 30 [8 favorites]


I could have sworn that there was a trope titled Nuns with Guns, but TVTropes has it under "Church Militant." Googling the phrase, however, informed me that a nunsploitation film titled Nude Nuns with Big Guns [SFW Wikipedia] is "the subject of one of the largest copyright lawsuits in California."
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:08 AM on January 30 [1 favorite]


“I am FILLED with Christ's love! You are just jealous of my success in the Lord!”
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 9:10 AM on January 30 [2 favorites]


The movie about La Maupin that I'm waiting for is the one directed by Luc Besson, in which the Chevalier d'Éon falls through a wormhole from 1760 to 1700 and teams up with Julie d'Aubigny to defeat a plot by the evil time-travelling Milady de Winter circa 1625 to change the course of history.

Preferably featuring a detour to the Caribbean for swashbuckling pirate action in company with Ann Bonny and Mary Read.

Or something like that.
posted by cstross at 9:12 AM on January 30 [9 favorites]


I was furiously copying quotes out of the 7th link, but the whole thing is hilarious quotes from end to end so just go and read it.

I think I'm a little bit in love with this woman. I want to write a one woman show based on her life, but I don't think I'm badass enough to do it justice.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:14 AM on January 30 [2 favorites]


I would caption it from "Raiders of the Lost Ark":

Jones: You want to talk to God? Let's go see Him together. I've got nothing better to do.
posted by chavenet at 9:16 AM on January 30 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure women falling in love with Julie d'Aubigny throughout history is queer culture. Like, don't mind me, I'm just gonna daydream a highlights reel of her sexy swashbuckling exploits while Bad Girls plays in my head on repeat.
posted by yasaman at 10:15 AM on January 30 [5 favorites]


I'd like to hear more about the assistants and observers in the duel. I bet they're fascinating individuals.

After all, they're seconds to nuns.
posted by zamboni at 12:32 PM on January 30 [17 favorites]


I think we've talked about Le Maupin before on the blue, and every time I still can't believe no one has made at least a movie about her yet.
There have been two movies already, one in 1966 (with Catherine Spaak), inspired by the classic epistolary novel Mademoiselle de Maupin (1835) written by Théophile Gautier, and a made-for-TV one in 2004 (with Sarah Biasini and a cameo by Catherine Spaak), adapted from the 1995 novel Julie, chevalier de Maupin written by another badass woman, Anne-France Dhauteville.
posted by elgilito at 12:36 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]


My only thought at seeing the original context of a Nun duel side-by-side with a lunatic Gorilla was, "Slow news day, huh?"
posted by codacorolla at 12:38 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]


Hah all I could thing about was captioning it with: “Hi, I’d like to add you to my professional network on linked in.” from The Atlantic
posted by FireFountain at 12:42 PM on January 30 [4 favorites]


The other nuns are like "ok, so we're doing this."
posted by lunasol at 12:51 PM on January 30 [6 favorites]


The Illustrated Police News! Staple of my childhood! There was published, in the 1970s, a wonderfully lurid yellow book entitled 'Orrible Murder, which comprised facsimiles of a selection of bizarre peculiarities from this publication, complete with the macabre (and often splendidly ridiculous) engravings.

For some reason, my mother owned a copy of this tasteful volume. When I was small, I used to spend hours poring over it, utterly fascinated and enthralled by the combination of Victorian melodrama and grisliness. (Oddly enough, my parents - definitely on the stricter side of things when it came to their children's access to violent media - found this more amusing than inappropriate. I can only assume that, this being History, it was permitted on grounds of being considered Educational.)

A decade back, I scanned several pictures from it to share with fellow members of a Sherlock Holmes discussion group, and I have just shunted them into a public Facebook album here, if anyone is interested in seeing them. Content warning: includes illustrations of death, suicide, dismemberment, and injury, to both adults and children.
posted by Morfil Ffyrnig at 2:31 PM on January 30 [3 favorites]


I'm reminded of the Great Paul and Storm song "Nunfight" YT
posted by Megafly at 2:45 PM on January 30


Morfil Ffyrnig, your link goes to photobucket (and thus is all blocked by no 3rd party hosting images).
posted by tavella at 3:12 PM on January 30


I have NO IDEA why I typed "Facebook" instead of "Photobucket" in my comment. Grr!

Thanks for the heads-up - are the images not showing for you (they display fine for me on PC and phone, logged out of Photobucket)? Apologies - I'll get them uploaded somewhere else!
posted by Morfil Ffyrnig at 3:22 PM on January 30


I tried it in a couple of browsers and yup, not showing for me.
posted by tavella at 3:27 PM on January 30


I dearly wish more of the music she sang had survived; I would do such a tribute recital.
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:52 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]


> Halloween Jack:
"I could have sworn that there was a trope titled Nuns with Guns, but TVTropes has it under "Church Militant." Googling the phrase, however, informed me that a nunsploitation film titled Nude Nuns with Big Guns [SFW Wikipedia] is "the subject of one of the largest copyright lawsuits in California.""

I've, erm, seen that. It was on Netflix, oh, about forever ago. Saw the title, had to watch.
posted by Samizdata at 6:33 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]


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