They grew up poor. They had to learn the rules of being rich.

February 1, 2018 3:06 PM

Four stories about navigating your new life as well as your old one. (slTheGuardian)
posted by Kitteh (12 comments total)

The article reminded me of this AskMe thread from 2008, which I found fascinating.
posted by orange swan at 5:51 PM on February 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

"Stories like Faridi’s are becoming increasingly rare."
For which read newsworthy.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:47 PM on February 1, 2018

I also did CTRL-F "umbrella" on that old but good thread and found exactly zero hits.

(I read an EM Forster novel once, it's not important)
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:50 PM on February 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

Great article-- thanks for posting
posted by travertina at 8:32 PM on February 1, 2018

Re: the first guy: the funny thing is that a third-year partner even at a big NY law firm doesn't even really register on the New York scale of "rich." Not that he's not doing well--but there's a whole other level out there, with yet another set of cultural conventions and rules, for which lawyers by themselves basically don't even qualify. It's an absurd world.

Neither of my judges would have been embarrassed or disdainful to meet a clerk's parent who happened to be a taxi driver; I'm sorry he got a bad one.
posted by praemunire at 9:46 PM on February 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

Neither of my judges would have been embarrassed or disdainful to meet a clerk's parent who happened to be a taxi driver; I'm sorry he got a bad one.

It seems to me that this is the lawyer's own insecurity. There is no evidence that the judge would have been uncomfortable or disdainful.
posted by bardophile at 10:20 PM on February 1, 2018 [7 favorites]

>>The article reminded me of this AskMe thread from 2008, which I found fascinating.

Oh hey, that's mine. Plot twist: not certain if the things I get wrong are because I grew up in poverty or because I am (relatively recently diagnosed) Aspie.
posted by b33j at 1:37 AM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

B33j, my dad was a mathematician from a heritage of farmers, and raised us in his tradition in the suburbs, so I appreciate your question and articles like this.
posted by childofTethys at 4:46 AM on February 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

I appreciate the article but most articles like this are about people who made it really well. People who were almost plucked out of poverty by a special scholarship or program or mentor. In reality, most people who do move out of poverty don't get special treatment. They also don't usually make it to the top of their field but instead just chug along working hard (and have a lot of luck that keeps them from falling back) and make it to like middle management (which is totally fine!).

It was quite a shock to me to realize that none of my coworkers have student loans because their parents mostly paid for their college. Or that a $3000 vacation is a cheap vacation. Or to have people be shocked that I've never been to Disney World. Or traveled internationally. I never expected to fit in with the rich, but I didn't know there was such a gulf between being poor and being middle class until I surrounded by them.
posted by LizBoBiz at 6:06 AM on February 2, 2018 [18 favorites]

It seems to me that this is the lawyer's own insecurity. There is no evidence that the judge would have been uncomfortable or disdainful.

I don't know. You work pretty closely with a judge, very frequently on issues that implicate social justice. And you pick up on people's attitudes pretty quickly anyway when you're in that kind of situation.
posted by praemunire at 7:27 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

I thought it was interesting that all the stories were in NYC. I have a theory that serious movement between classes is most available in large cities due to more jobs availability, larger social support networks, views of extreme capital variation that may drive some to work for it, and more educational opportunity.

Compare to a small town where there is no legit college, no jobs, little capital variation (suburbs have walls/ the wealthy live out of town on estates), and the social support networks are family-sized. And the high school probably sucks.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:31 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

There is no evidence that the judge would have been uncomfortable or disdainful.

Indeed, lots of old-rich-white-dude types tend to embrace that kind of story as evidence of a broadly accessible meritocracy.
posted by uberchet at 6:37 AM on February 6, 2018