The great British Jaffa Cake bait and switch

February 2, 2018 10:40 AM

Scandal haunts the supermarket aisles of Britannia. Previously phallically packaged, Jaffa Cakes (MetaPreviously), part of the national diet (posh variations), a present for teachers or reward after donating blood, are being (again) sold in boxes of 100 for only £3.50 (or 3.5p, less than 5 US cents, per cake). Many of the newly repackaged cakes have gone, some people are well stocked up, but the sole chain outlet oft runs out, leaving shoppers to buy smaller boxes... of only ten to a pack (previously twelve). This is part of a wider trend, though Jaffa Cakes (size issue) are better on some metrics because it's complicated. Though healthy, please eat slowly and decently; alternatives (raspberry, cake, donut, light snack, Polish, Halloween, ice cream) exist, and the future.
posted by Wordshore (54 comments total)

Hobnobs. Problem solved. You can also dunk them in tea without 1. leaving an oil slick 2. creating an national outrage.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:50 AM on February 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

First Thatcher, then Brexit, now this.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:51 AM on February 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

Quite. When it came out that Paul Hollywood dressed as a Nazi everyone was "Of course he's a Nazi - he dunks Jaffa Cakes in his tea".
posted by Wordshore at 10:53 AM on February 2, 2018 [12 favorites]

Wow, if I could get Jaffa Cakes at any of those prices I'd eat a lot more of them. I am in the midwestern USA and they do sell them in stores here, but in tiny packages that are crazy expensive. I only buy them for special occasions.
posted by elizilla at 10:53 AM on February 2, 2018 [4 favorites]

Jaffa cakes

Aw man, I thought this was gonna be about Stargate SG-1.
posted by Servo5678 at 10:59 AM on February 2, 2018 [7 favorites]

Well, now I have to try them. Odds on finding these in the Northern KY/Cincinnati area?
posted by bwvol at 11:02 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

A jaffa cake sounds like it would be tasty if it was nearly any flavor of jam but orange. My mother keeps buying us chocolate oranges for our stockings and I just never like the combo of flavors.
posted by tavella at 11:06 AM on February 2, 2018 [6 favorites]

From that tweet: "Did you know that @LidlUK do an equivalent and they're even nicer & come in cherry flavour too. So ...shove it McVitie's".

I now have to locate my local Lidl.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 11:06 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

I fucking love Jaffa cakes. There's no way I could have a box of 100 because I would immediately have an empty box and stomach ache. There would be no actual point in time where I had a 'box of 100 jaffa cakes' in my possession.
posted by Brockles at 11:06 AM on February 2, 2018 [19 favorites]

Wordshore! Your food posts are the best.

I have never had a Jaffa Cake, and now will be on the lookout when I go grocery shopping or to World Market next. I'm with tavella on the choco-orange combo, though.

(Embarrassingly, I thought it was pronounced 'yaffa' until I googled it, just to make sure I was right about that. Whoops! (It has the same "Ja-" as "Java" ))
posted by Fig at 11:07 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Hobnobs. Problem solved.

That's like saying 'What is your favourite running shoe' and the answer being 'Steel diver's shoes with spikes in them'.
posted by Brockles at 11:08 AM on February 2, 2018 [12 favorites]

Do you put a Jaffa cake in your mouth and it just falls straight through you and out of your bottom? I would imagine there would be a little bit of possession going on due to your hopefully normal human digestive tract.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 11:09 AM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

Jaffa cakes become one of those things I feel compelled to eat my weight in when in the UK. Some places here have them but I see Hobnobs more often.
posted by Kitteh at 11:11 AM on February 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

Some academic research:

"In Experiment 1, eighty-eight females ate five ‘Jaffa Cakes’ either while distracted by a computer game or while sitting in silence. Analysis of the difference in rated hunger, fullness and desire to eat (pre- to post-intake) revealed that distracted participants experienced smaller changes in their desire to eat and fullness than did non-distracted participants."
posted by Wordshore at 11:12 AM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

bwvol, here in Michigan they carry them in the International aisle at Meijers. Pretty sure you have Meijers stores there.
posted by elizilla at 11:13 AM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

Wordshore, I'm not going to read that study, but I hope there were 5 cakes between 88 women.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 11:14 AM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

I would imagine there would be a little bit of possession going on

Yes, buy they'd not be in the box. That was the point. I have no complaints if they are In Mah Belleh.
posted by Brockles at 11:19 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

From Spaced: Star Wars and Jaffa Cakes.
posted by Wordshore at 11:25 AM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

I remain side-eyed about any combination of chocolate and citrus. It reminds me of the time in college when the cafeteria treated us to chocolate cake decorated with cherry pie filling. Maybe I'm wrong, though—every British sweet I've tried has been superior to typical US product.
posted by Flexagon at 11:28 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

I got hooked on Jaffa Cakes in London, but they're not always available from my local sources of imported snack foods, and aren't cheap when they are.

At the pub in the UK Pavilion at EPCOT, I had a "Jaffa tart," which was a schmancy dessert based on the same ingredients. Also, they made a little Union Jack on the side of the plate with cocoa powder and a stencil. Gonna see if I can find the picture I took.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:30 AM on February 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

Odds on finding these in the Northern KY/Cincinnati area?

Jungle Jim's maybe?

Also, if you're not rioting to get them, don't bother posting, really.
posted by GuyZero at 11:34 AM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

My mother keeps buying us chocolate oranges for our stockings and I just never like the combo of flavors.

I'd send you my address for disposal of these delicious treats, but I'm fast enough as is.
posted by GuyZero at 11:35 AM on February 2, 2018 [6 favorites]

It reminds me of the time in college when the cafeteria treated us to chocolate cake decorated with cherry pie filling.

That has to have been a problem with inferior ingredients or incompetence. Because this my favourite cake and I am not even a big fan of dessert, usually. My wife managed to find me one in Canada when we were living there and even she was a reluctant convert.

every British sweet I've tried has been superior to typical US product.
This is consistent. I bought a ton of stuff from the English shop down the road from us and made my (american) wife try them and she found the same thing. Canadian and UK chocolate/candy cured her of most of her US-sugary cravings for when we moved back. Because the quality is just not there. She does, however, retain her baffling obsession with Circus Peanuts.
posted by Brockles at 11:39 AM on February 2, 2018 [4 favorites]

I'd send you my address for disposal of these delicious treats

They have (unsurprisingly) changed the recipe, unless the one (of each) I had a few weeks ago is atypical. Nowhere near as good as they used to be. They were bought in the US, so maybe they weren't the proper ones, though.
posted by Brockles at 11:40 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

EPCOT Jaffa Tarts with raspberry coulis
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:43 AM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Not a lot of people know this, but they're actually Jafar Cakes, named after the evil vizier character from Disney's Aladdin. The non-rhoticity of most British accents eventually caused the misspelling to overtake the original.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:43 AM on February 2, 2018 [8 favorites]

When I was 5, I was left unattended with a 12-pack of jaffa cakes and I ate the whole thing.

FYI, it turns out you can't fit 12 jaffa cakes into the stomach of a 5-year-old.
posted by AllShoesNoSocks at 11:45 AM on February 2, 2018 [16 favorites]

I don't eat many cookies or cakes, but I lived with British expats during and after college and grew fond of both Jaffa Cakes and (dark chocolate) Digestives. Unfortunately I generally don't consume them fast enough and, being cakes (don't @ me), Jaffa Cakes become hard (and inedible) when stale rather than soft (and merely unpleasant).
posted by uncleozzy at 12:03 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Alternate US-available options exist. They're not 100% the same, but if you haven't had them before and you live in the land ruled by Trump, they're fine. I've had real Jaffas before and I'm still OK with Pim's.

Also yes to Hobnobs, but only without chocolate.
posted by rhizome at 12:04 PM on February 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

here in Michigan they carry them in the International aisle at Meijers. Pretty sure you have Meijers stores there.

Yes! We have a Meijer just down the road. Jungle Jim's is another option too. Thanks to all.
posted by bwvol at 12:09 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

Jaffa Cakes become hard (and inedible) when stale rather than soft (and merely unpleasant).

That's how you know they're cakes, not biscuits
posted by KateViolet at 12:24 PM on February 2, 2018 [4 favorites]

Odds on finding these in the Northern KY/Cincinnati area?

Big Lots has them sometimes, in the international food aisle.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 12:24 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

That's how you know they're cakes, not biscuits

I may have used too many commas and parentheticals.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:31 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Whenever I travel, I like to buy some hotel room snacks, and on my trips to Cambridge would dart into the little Tesco Express to buy some British treats, but on the last trip they didn't have proper Jaffa Cakes. I was compelled instead to buy a package of the much-bigger Jaffa Cake Bars. You people are turning into Americans and you don't even realize it!
posted by briank at 12:40 PM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

Jaffa Cakes are pretty easy to make if you're not able to find them in stores. I made some a few months ago and they were wonderful!
posted by Jacob G at 12:52 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

I don't eat them very often now (because my digestive system hates fun) but every time I have one, I immediately get a sense memory of being in my Gran's old house in Liverpool, aged 10, which was the first visit to the UK that I was old enough to remember. My gran passed away over 15 years ago so I appreciate the memory boost they give me.
posted by halcyonday at 12:53 PM on February 2, 2018 [8 favorites]

Wordshore, this has gone far enough. Not satisfied with compelling me to eat two! (2!) Greggs Steak Bakes in a week, you have now FORCED me to politely request of my beloved that he nip to the shop for Jaffa Cakes. Enough is enough, c'mon.
posted by threetwentytwo at 1:46 PM on February 2, 2018 [8 favorites]

Where could I get these in Portland, OR? World Market or somewhere like that?
posted by gucci mane at 1:47 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Alternate US-available options exist. They're not 100% the same, but if you haven't had them before and you live in the land ruled by Trump, they're fine. I've had real Jaffas before and I'm still OK with Pim's.

False gods. They're too fancy. The chocolate is decent chocolate, and so it *snaps* when you bite it, which feels totally different in your mouth. Jaffa cakes are all squish.
posted by leotrotsky at 2:14 PM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

Also, maybe it's just that the local supply doesn't turn over enough, but when I try Pim's there's a better-than-even chance that the sponge seems stale and dry.
posted by rewil at 2:21 PM on February 2, 2018

Indeed, but that's America.
posted by rhizome at 2:24 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

And in Finland there's the 'green jellies' variant made by Fazer ...
posted by myotahapea at 2:27 PM on February 2, 2018

Also yes to Hobnobs, but only without chocolate.

WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT.
posted by Glinn at 2:49 PM on February 2, 2018 [7 favorites]

Chocolate Hobnobs are just chocolate with some stuff under it, it never matters what.

Plain Hobnobs commit to and reveal their subtle oaty perfection.
posted by rhizome at 2:52 PM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

Rupert Giles loves Jaffa Cakes.

That is all.
posted by allthinky at 2:54 PM on February 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

They sell Jaffa cakes on Amazon.

The top review is a 1-star review that just says “Yuck”.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 3:00 PM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

Offered in the spirit of “there are tons of foods I still love that other people think are terrible” - I was really excited to try Jaffa cakes when I found them at World Market but they just tasted sickly sweet to me. Which is extra weird because usually the US is the one accused of having too-sweet desserts.
posted by brilliantine at 3:43 PM on February 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

One minute of Jaffa Cake eating.
posted by Wordshore at 4:10 PM on February 2, 2018

Chocolate Hobnobs are just chocolate with some stuff under it, it never matters what.

Plain Hobnobs commit to and reveal their subtle oaty perfection.


I concede, but would like the record to note my duress. An attempted reply was incomprehensible.
posted by Glinn at 4:29 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

I bought a thing of Pim's because the grocery story didn't have actual Jaffa Cakes, and I can confirm that the crispy chocolate is just plain wrong. Mind you, the flavour is quite nice, because it's decent chocolate, but the texture doesn't work at all.
posted by tobascodagama at 5:26 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

There used to be pear Pim's that were delightful in their own right
posted by sweetmarie at 9:51 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

I wonder how Pim's taste with Pimm's.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:47 AM on February 3, 2018 [4 favorites]

Important to note that if you have telekinetic powers that only work on biscuits, they will NOT work on Jaffa cakes.
posted by fuzzy night at 9:43 AM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]

I'm blaming Metafilter for this impulse buy.

Found at Mariano's (Chicago's version of Kroger). They had McVities digestive biscuits, but these off-brand Jaffa Cakes. They're not bad, I can see how they lend themselves to binging. I think I'd like a flavor other than orange better, though.
posted by Fig at 10:39 AM on February 3, 2018 [2 favorites]