He bought quite a few lottery tickets
February 11, 2018 4:41 AM   Subscribe

After this third incident even Alkemade thought that enough was enough, becoming a furniture salesman

...where he was attacked by a carnivorous sofa and a savage herd of side-tables.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:33 AM on February 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

Lighting a cigarette from the pack kept in his Irvin suit, Alkemade surveyed his landing zone...

That had to be a moment of some serious cognitive dissonance.
posted by darkstar at 6:46 AM on February 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Previous missing parachute related posts here: 1, 2, 3, 4. Would a freefall tag be appropriate?
posted by TedW at 7:55 AM on February 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Add more recently, 5. I'm going to link the gloriously Web 1.0 Free Fall Research Page again- Alkemade is listed on the Free Fallers page, along with Chisov and Magee.
posted by zamboni at 8:47 AM on February 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

And via #5, here’s 6!
posted by TedW at 11:52 AM on February 11, 2018

He bought quite a few lottery tickets

There's no evidence of this being the case and I move that it be stricken from the record.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:03 PM on February 11, 2018

For starters, he died in 1987 and the UK national lottery didn't start until 1994.

Not long after, a siphoning pipe burst, spraying Alkemade’s face and arms with industrial sulphuric acid. With astounding presence of mind, he dived head-first into a nearby 40 gallon drum of limewash, thereby neutralising the acid. Alkemade ‘escaped’ with first degree burns. Returning to work, Alkemade was pinned beneath a nine foot long steel door runner that fell from its mountings as he passed by. Somehow only minor bruising resulted.

Y'know, it doesn't sound like going to war was the deadly thing for this guy. Coming back from the war and working in some shithole factory where 'elf and safety' hadn't been invented yet sounds like it was much more hazardous for him.
posted by The River Ivel at 3:13 PM on February 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

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