Ain't no rules says a dog can't run for governor of Kansas.
February 11, 2018 12:54 PM   Subscribe

Three candidates have now registered for the Kansas governor race who are too young to vote. While most of these see themselves as radical outsiders, the most recent to throw his hat in the ring believes standards should be raised in candidate requirements:
“Maybe it’s 18 (years old), but just some way to make sure we don’t have like a dog run,”
“I’m not sure how to answer that,” said Bryan Caskey, director of elections at the Kansas secretary of state’s office. “Because I cannot point to a law that sets any qualifications to run for governor. So a dog has never tried to file — I don’t know what would happen if one tried to. ... I can’t point you to a law that says anything about the qualifications to run for governor.”
posted by rum-soaked space hobo (28 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
Kansas: The "There's Nothing In The Rulebook..." State
posted by drezdn at 1:02 PM on February 11 [8 favorites]


Could a dog really do worse?
posted by corb at 1:02 PM on February 11 [33 favorites]


Is there some reason to believe a dog would represent a substantial dropoff from the usual caliber of candidates?

>Randleas, a student at Wichita Heights High School who is seeking the Republican nomination, calls himself a “conservatarian,”

I guess that answers THAT question...
posted by Sing Or Swim at 1:03 PM on February 11 [18 favorites]


Good to see my home state is continuing in its rich history of entertaining* sociopolitical insanity. For those who need a primer I suggest Thomas Frank.

*I recognize that it is less than entertaining if you live there and are not a straight white cis male religious fundie
posted by q*ben at 1:14 PM on February 11


Could a dog really do worse?


Probably piss on fewer things than Sam Brownback.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:17 PM on February 11 [20 favorites]


Didn’t Michael Moore try (semi-successfully?) to get a house plant on some ballot or other?
posted by Sys Rq at 1:17 PM on February 11


> Didn’t Michael Moore try (semi-successfully?) to get a house plant on some ballot or other?
Ficus Benjamina
posted by farlukar at 1:21 PM on February 11 [3 favorites]


However, the Kansas Constitution appears to assume that only humans will hold the office when it states that “No person may be elected to more than two successive terms as governor.”

It’s not clear if that is the opinion of “Bryan Caskey, director of elections at the Kansas secretary of state’s office,” but, if it is, he lacks imagination. My reading is that any sort of being can run for governor, but humans are limited to two terms. That hypothetical dog could be dictator for life, and no one could do anything.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:24 PM on February 11 [60 favorites]


“I just need to file online and I’m doing that literally right now,” he said.

I love how teenaged this is. I'M DOING IT, GOD

I don't know anything about the Democratic Party in Kansas, but it's usually pretty weak in red states. They should either get behind the boy or talk to him; it would be a shame for them to let some young Jill Stein split the vote. Conversely, it would be totally fine with me if somebody with "Rand" in his name split the Republican vote simply by appearing to be a living, breathing human being. Most Republican politicians look like they've been hollowed out and are being piloted by aliens living in their midsections, whereas Randleas looks like a real guy, however fratulent.
posted by Countess Elena at 1:28 PM on February 11 [4 favorites]


To be fair, you might be able to stop a dog from defunding critical state services by saying “No, bad dog!” in a clear, firm voice.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:33 PM on February 11 [26 favorites]


Dogs are cheaper to bribe. A couple of milk bones and a good belly rub and you’ll get whatever tax break you want.
posted by azpenguin at 2:02 PM on February 11 [5 favorites]




How to motivate large numbers of Kansas voting-age teenagers to vote for an underage candidate, a complete plan:

1) Complain publicly that it's a short hop from teenage candidates to dogs running for office.

~fin~
posted by DirtyOldTown at 3:35 PM on February 11 [6 favorites]


Dogs care more about the feelings of others than Brownback ever did. Or does. That's why the Republicans made him director of special projects and shipped him off to anywhere else.
posted by lon_star at 3:36 PM on February 11 [3 favorites]


Randleas, a student at Wichita Heights High School who is seeking the Republican nomination, calls himself a “conservatarian” ...
He’s probably got the fedora vote locked up, but it couldn’t hurt to campaign with a sword or two.

My take is that’s legal for a dog to file, but it’s fraudulent for any one to file for the dog.
posted by octobersurprise at 5:25 PM on February 11 [5 favorites]


> GenjiandProust:
"To be fair, you might be able to stop a dog from defunding critical state services by saying “No, bad dog!” in a clear, firm voice."

I would think it would require a smack from a newspaper to get proper bipartisan agreement.
posted by Samizdata at 5:33 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]


I was collecting ballot petition signatures for Tim Kaine in my neighborhood today and most of the registered voters signing had questions about why Kaine needed to get signatures to appear on the ballot. It was fun to point to this story to illustrate some of the reasons why Virginia and most states have signature requirements for ballot access.
posted by longdaysjourney at 5:33 PM on February 11 [2 favorites]


My suggestion is that the Dems should run a pit bull with lipstick. I hear that's popular with conservatives
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:35 PM on February 11 [2 favorites]


My take is that’s legal for a dog to file, but it’s fraudulent for any one to file for the dog.

Yes, but you could certainly fill out the paperwork for the dog & leave it down on the floor for him/her to peruse and sign if they so choose. And then if the dog does so choose to grace the forms with a pawprint in the appropriate place, you could certainly take it down to the election office on behalf of your furry friend.

This would less fraud and more helpful facilitation . . .
posted by flug at 5:47 PM on February 11 [5 favorites]


He’s probably got the fedora vote locked up


Fedora Aficionado magazine gave him four out of five vape pens.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:19 PM on February 11 [8 favorites]


A lot of ethicists writing on animal rights use the term “non-human person,” which I’d like to think is sufficient precedent to nullify Mr. Caskey’s argument, should it be his.
posted by invitapriore at 9:40 PM on February 11 [2 favorites]


“We just had a president win on the campaign promise of draining the swamp,” he said. “And if you really want to drain the swamp, you know, you get the complete outsiders and that’s what I am.”

School choice should be opened up, he said. Government should get out of anything that doesn’t involve protecting life, liberty and property.

He described himself as “big” on gun rights and “allowing people that are sane and legal to own as many guns as they want without the government coming in and saying, ‘You can’t do this.’ ”


You could write these platform planks on a sign and hang it around the neck of a dead goose and modern Republicans would vote for it. The identity and background of a candidate no longer matters; it's all about reciting the right talking points.

And it would still be a better Governor than Brownback.
posted by delfin at 6:55 AM on February 12


KWCH:
The Kansas Secretary of State's Office says Angus cannot serve as the state's governor. While there is nothing specifically written that says a dog cannot run to lead the state, the secretary state's office says man's best friend is not capable of serving the responsibilities required of the governor.

The Hutchinson dog's owners had filed the paperwork to make his candidacy official last weekend.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:54 AM on February 13 [2 favorites]


Y'all realize that corporations are legal "persons", right? (Just not "natural persons".)

So just have the dog incorporate.
posted by saizai at 1:39 PM on February 13 [3 favorites]


> the secretary state's office says [candidate] is not capable of serving the responsibilities required of the governor

So what? Does the state constitution imbue the sec. state with veto power over candidates? They only get to follow the law that exists, not make up new rules.

Hopefully they at least have something equivalent to US Const. Am. 25. :-P (And the VP-equivalent isn't *also* a dog… that would be problematic.)
posted by saizai at 1:47 PM on February 13 [1 favorite]


Update.
posted by saizai at 11:23 PM on February 14 [1 favorite]


Wait, there’s no residency requirement either? When’s the filing deadline? I’m pretty sure we could crowdsource some funding for a Mefite...
posted by corb at 6:07 AM on February 15 [1 favorite]


I'm not volunteering for this one.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:22 AM on February 15 [1 favorite]


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