"It took me years to get back in the bath."

February 12, 2018 4:59 PM

Decades ago, a kid didn't listen to his mother, and kept making that face. Today, he's just trying to get through life. Cautionary Tales (Vimeo, approx. 8 min.) (via)
posted by Countess Elena (20 comments total)

That's pretty great. It reminds me a bit of this short mockumentary I worked on many years back, which happens to be on Vimeo too (this is my first self-link in all my time on MeFi, I hope it's ok. I was assistant director and did post work on this short.) Jaime Tapones.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:26 PM on February 12, 2018

Cute! Funny! Reminds me of that Crash Test Dummies song. I had never heard any cautionary tales about eating crusts; I looked it up and they’re supposed to make your hair grow curly. Has this idea not made it to the US (where I live), or is it just me who’s never heard it?
posted by ejs at 5:48 PM on February 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

“You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen.”

― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:02 PM on February 12, 2018 [8 favorites]

Brilliant! A reminder to not only mind our mums, but, if we try, there is probably someone out there for us.
posted by Samizdata at 6:39 PM on February 12, 2018

ENJOYED! Thank you - I needed that just now.
posted by parki at 6:51 PM on February 12, 2018

Is this a true story?
posted by waving at 7:03 PM on February 12, 2018

This must be a British thing.
posted by waving at 7:05 PM on February 12, 2018

I'd seen this in my Twitter and Tumblr streams, but hadn't made the time to watch it. Thanks for posting it, Countess Elena. I needed a taste of what Samizdata identifies as the moral.
posted by the sobsister at 7:10 PM on February 12, 2018

Others may understand our quirks. But if we're really lucky, we find someone who really gets them. To see that moment of mutual understanding is lovely. Thanks, Countess Elena.
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:41 PM on February 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Ah kinda cried at the end, here
posted by stinkfoot at 7:57 PM on February 12, 2018

I had never heard any cautionary tales about eating crusts; I looked it up and they’re supposed to make your hair grow curly. Has this idea not made it to the US (where I live), or is it just me who’s never heard it?
posted by ejs at 8:48 PM on February 12

It was new to me too. The other characters were all pretty familiar from a North American perspective - the blind man was hilarious - but I had no idea what the crust guy was about. Growing up, I never heard anything bad about eating bread crusts; to the contrary, my mom made it clear that the crusts had all the nutrition and if I didn't eat them I'd die.

I wish she'd discouraged the practice. Horrible stuff, crusts.
posted by ZaphodB at 8:22 PM on February 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

I have very curly hair so every now and again when I was a child an older person would say to my mom, "What curls! She must always eat her crusts!" But it was always said like it was a good thing, like, "Eat your healthy crusts, and you'll have curls like Shirley Temple." Not a warning like, "If you keep eating all those crusts, you're going to look like Carrot Top!"

I don't think it's super-common in the US, my mom had to explain it to me. And definitely not a cautionary tale when I heard it, much more a way to get children to eat their crusts!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:04 PM on February 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

When I was a child, I was told to eat the crusts to make my hair grow. Nothing about curls though. I heard it often enough that I immediately recognized that bit. I grew up in rural Michigan.
posted by elizilla at 5:30 AM on February 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

Why were the poor frozenfaces tormented by the wind? Do British children tend to pull faces when it's windy?
posted by Don Pepino at 5:52 AM on February 13, 2018

Why were the poor frozenfaces tormented by the wind? Do British children tend to pull faces when it's windy?

I believe the saying goes that if the wind changes direction when you're pulling a face, it becomes frozen in that position. So I guess it would be a constant reminder of their torment.

Count me as another who didn't get the crust bit: why did the group leader scold the guy for pocketing crusts? It's presented as a bad thing when yeah, I definitely remember friends being cajoled to eat them (lucky thing I like crusts, but my hair is straight straight). That character could have been replaced with a crack-stepping man and his mother with a broken back...

Anyway, cute short.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 7:59 AM on February 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

I had no idea! The US version of this mom-adage did not retain the role of the wind in the facefreezing process, at least not in my sector.

The appletree lady. Chilling. Because that can actually happen. There was a guy on "Monsters inside Me," or whatever that idiotic show was that I binged on youtube a year or two ago, who aspirated a pea, and it sprouted in his lung.
posted by Don Pepino at 8:08 AM on February 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

heh, I never heard that about apple pips, but definitely watermelon seeds. I'm super lazy about spitting them out so I'd just swallow them all.
posted by numaner at 8:33 AM on February 13, 2018

That was surprisingly sweet - appreciate the post.

Somewhat related: Shockheaded Peter, a musical based on a collection of cautionary tales for children. I took my kids to a Tiger Lillies production of the musical when they were in grade school. I thought it would be creepy fun that they would enjoy. They both agree that it was creepy, but not the least bit fun - it's been 20 years and they still won't watch the YouTube clips.
posted by she's not there at 10:06 AM on February 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

she's not there, I had that book and a short stack of books about The Goops growing up. They were creepy in similar ways. I did not like them, though, somehow, I kept returning to them. They unnerved me. The naked dislike... of children of all inoffensive people... and the relish with which their terrible stories were told... how could it be...? And yet I kept returning to the books to look at the terrible, heartless pictures and read the terrible, gleeful words. Nowadays, having traveled long distances in crowded aeroplanes, I find my attitude toward these books is... quite different. Quite, quite different.
posted by Don Pepino at 12:34 PM on February 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

the relish with which their terrible stories were told

Perhaps that explains why my kids have such dreadful memories of the musical. You should check the YouTube links - I believe you will truly appreciate the Tigerlillies' gleeful falsetto storytelling.
posted by she's not there at 3:49 PM on February 13, 2018 [1 favorite]