Mom arrested after sexually oriented party
May 21, 2002 6:38 AM   Subscribe

Mom arrested after sexually oriented party "The 27-year-old admitted wrongdoing after doing nude jumping jacks and talking to girls about sex." - Now that's what I would call a cool mom ;)
posted by heimkonsole (38 comments total)

Take a look at her mug shot ( and see if you still want to ogle her doing naked calesthenics.
posted by Oriole Adams at 6:41 AM on May 21, 2002

I hear she's using the Ann Landers defense...
posted by kfury at 6:41 AM on May 21, 2002

Damn is she UGLY! So much for that fantasy...
posted by eas98 at 7:19 AM on May 21, 2002

Take a look at her mug shot ( see if you still want to ogle her doing naked calesthenics.

Damn...she must have hit all the branches on the way down. Man, I hate haveing to explain sites/images I find on MeFi to my boss as he walks by.
posted by plemeljr at 7:20 AM on May 21, 2002


The doctor told me not to get bushpig in my eye !
posted by Frasermoo at 7:29 AM on May 21, 2002

I always wondered where talk show guests came from.
posted by 10sball at 7:36 AM on May 21, 2002

next on montel...!
posted by quonsar at 7:38 AM on May 21, 2002

Maybe it's just me, but jokes about how "sexy" this crime sounds just don't seem funny after reading the arresting officer's report.
posted by O9scar at 7:44 AM on May 21, 2002

Ohh comon, I think she's the coolest mom in the world, even though she's damn ugly. We did the same stuff in intermediate school, spin the bottle and dares and such with girls. Better a mom to actually organize it than a group of kids that get carried away on their own. It's pretty innocent. She didn't force them to give a real blowjob or have sex with a real person, it was just a truth or dare game. It's not like she touched the girls or molested them...
posted by banished at 8:37 AM on May 21, 2002

I think the bus missed the Ugly stop and kept going to the end of the line. But all kidding aside, it was stupid shit she pulled regardless of how she looks. A part of me agrees with you banished but she sure was setting up a scenario that, regardless of its innocence, looks bad. I have a kid and would have reacted in a much meaner fashion.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:47 AM on May 21, 2002

jeez, she's not that ugly - a little fat but otherwise pretty average...

It's pretty weird that she would feel comfortable doing those things with 9 year olds, but it would be ridiculous to send her to jail for 15 years! On the other hand, if a man had done something similar with a bunch of boys... but then, do boys play truth or dare? Or have slumber parties? I mean in middle school & just with each other; I know coed party games happen in HS/college
posted by mdn at 8:54 AM on May 21, 2002

pretty average?!?

where do you live?

posted by Frasermoo at 8:58 AM on May 21, 2002

I'm only guessing, but I suspect she was just trying to be cool and fun for the party, not trying to achieve her own sexual gratification or otherwise corrupt these girls. She may just be unintelligent and (she was a mother at 17) perhaps undereducated and too sheltered. Perhaps, perversely, she was just too innocent, in that these girls seem to have known better than she did that she was up to something she shouldn't have been doing.

And her looks have nothing to do with anything. Would it have been better or worse if she had been highly attractive?
posted by pracowity at 9:03 AM on May 21, 2002

her eyes shout 'dumb as a box of rocks'. her actions confirm it.
posted by quonsar at 9:37 AM on May 21, 2002

I haven't kept track, is this the right time and place to use Fuckwit?

Just askin...
posted by plemeljr at 9:45 AM on May 21, 2002

pretty average?!?

where do you live?

If she weren't overweight, I don't think she'd be all that different from regular looking people. But I have wondered before if I have a very mild form of face blindness or something, as i rarely find people exceedingly attractive or unattractive - most people look pretty average (& I often don't recognize people I've met before etc). Also the comments led me to expect a cross eyed, rotten toothed, big nosed, skewed mouthed, misshapen headed freak.

I live in new york city.
posted by mdn at 10:21 AM on May 21, 2002

well big cities do house some right weirdos, London is full of them. Only last thursday I saw a guy who was about 6 foot tall but had a head the size of grapefruit.

To keep myself in good books, I agree that kids get up to naughty stuff, but I wouldn't be happy knowing my 9 year old was being taight fellatio by her friends mom.

15 years would be a bit harsh for this lady though, she reeks of close-eye banjo twanging.
posted by Frasermoo at 10:30 AM on May 21, 2002

I don't recall anyone looking particularly cute in a mugshot, even the supposedly "pretty people".
posted by jerseygirl at 10:37 AM on May 21, 2002

uh, dude? i live in new york city, and i'm pretty sure we stop people like that at the river crossings.
posted by anildash at 10:54 AM on May 21, 2002

That Bush niece looked pretty messed up in her mug shot. Why can't they all just put on a great, big smile, like Booger from Revenge of the Nerds II?
posted by adampsyche at 11:26 AM on May 21, 2002

She looks like she could use a shower, a new hairstyle, and better clothes, and lose 30 pounds or so, but I would also agree that there are probably pictures of her in which she looks a lot better than this one.

mdn: I played truth or dare at all-boy slumber parties as a kid. Usually the truths were about what girls we liked, how much we mastrubated, etc. and the dares were about going upstairs and saying or doing bizarre things in front of the parents of the host, or passers-by on the street in front of the house, or on the phone. Of course, being a fly on the wall of the female counterparts to our activities was a much-discussed fantasy.
posted by bingo at 11:34 AM on May 21, 2002

Beady little eyes.

27 and a 10 year old daughter.

and a 13 year old step-sister.

Not that I'm being judgemental or antyhing about floridian rednecks or anything.

but I am.
posted by rich at 1:10 PM on May 21, 2002

Better a mom to actually organize it than a group of kids

No. As long as it's just kids it can be considered innocent exploration. If an adult is involved, it's a whole 'nother ball game.

Citrus County, FL is about as conservative as it gets. Chances are, for some of the parents, oral sex is not on the list of bible-sanctioned sexual activities. Granted, it's a very short list, but still...their kids shouldn't be getting lessons on giving head from a friend's mom.

The question is: what the HELL was she thinking???
posted by groundhog at 1:24 PM on May 21, 2002

I dunno...seems to me that if she had been one of the "pretty people" it might have even been worse, from a psychological standpoint of the girls. Then it's possible that the behavior would have been emulated by the girls, despite their discomfort, in the hopes that they too would be "pretty people".

Whereas in this instance, I think all the girls, after being interviewed by police, are fairly clear on the theory that if the behavior of someone makes you uncomfortable, you should remove yourself from the situation by calling your parents or a family friend or someone to come get you.

Adult nudity, lap dancing and coke bottle blow jobs are not really how I would want my 9 year old daughter to spend her me funny...
posted by dejah420 at 1:59 PM on May 21, 2002

She looks scarily like my developmentally-disabled ex-sister-in-law. In certain ways. Those freakishly beady eyes were the worst -- but they were really reflecting some major fluorescent light or something. I took the picture and cleaned it up for a minute in PSP -- took out the eye glare, smudged over some of the blemishes on her face, and she really doesn't look inhuman after that. If she wore a little foundation and changed her hairstyle she'd get dates (without outrageous sexual behavior).

I detect a horribly insecure person here.
posted by dhartung at 2:22 PM on May 21, 2002

I detect a horribly insecure person here.

Who, the mother or the people piling on her for being unattractive and provincial?
posted by jaek at 3:10 PM on May 21, 2002

it's a mugshot you know, not a GlamourShot... They don't exactly send you to Makeup and Wardrobe before booking you.
posted by jerseygirl at 3:20 PM on May 21, 2002

Y'know, there's not much difference between this thread and the one yesterday from FARK, except perhaps the extensiveness of the vocabulary. Cool mom having 13 year-olds give faux fellatio? 10 year olds couch dancing? But the thrust of convo is she's UG_LEEE?

Is this really where Metafilter is now? Maybe its time to join Holgate, guys. This is not us at our best.
posted by Perigee at 5:07 PM on May 21, 2002

If you guys are all such a bunch of hotties, perhaps you should be off talking to girls instead of making fun of an overweight, quite possibly undereducated, woman with bad skin who was mostly just guilty of using poor judgment. My take is that the woman was behaving age-inappropriately with some younger girls. Not cool, but not totally criminal. Her main offense seems to be doing something that might be considered hot if she were more attractive, and since she's not, it just becomes fodder for ridicule and name-calling. How many of you would look good doing naked jumping jacks anyhow? Show some class.
posted by jessamyn at 5:53 PM on May 21, 2002

How many of you would look good doing naked jumping jacks anyhow?

*raises hand*

don't mind me...weekend begins tonight
posted by jonmc at 6:20 PM on May 21, 2002


there is absolutely no way I would find it 'hot' if she was attractive and hanging out playing sexual truth or dare with her 10 year old daughter's friends.

If it was a guy asking them to do blowjobs on bottles, or lap dance eachother, it'd be a no contest case of child molestation.
posted by rich at 6:41 PM on May 21, 2002

Where's Aaron when you need him.

If you read the arresting officer's report, as O9scar suggested, you'll find that the girls were all confused and uncomfortable about the whole situation. What mother in her right mind asks a 10 year old to sit on her lap and wiggle her bottom around? Cool mother, indeed.

What I find most frustrating in this instance (and also in the instance of the high school principal lifting girls' skirts to check for thongs) is that so many children and teenagers, and girls in particular, are afraid to say no. We need to teach our kids to be more assertive instead of going along with something unpleasant or humiliating just because they're afraid to speak up, or to defy an adult or an authority figure.
posted by iconomy at 8:33 PM on May 21, 2002

This story seemed like one from David Lapham's comic Stray Bullets.

I think children can be pretty resilient, but what will this event and the likely backlash from their peers and parents do to the children's perspective on sexuality? I hope that this doesn't bring on a chorus of "sex is bad" reprimands for the innocent victims.

I'd be interested in hearing what MeFi parents would say to their children if they were involved in a similar situation.
posted by JDC8 at 12:50 AM on May 22, 2002

I have had a night to sleep on this, and I have read the comments about how we have been bashing this woman about her photo rather than constructively criticising the issues that arise from this story.

but I am sorry,

dang. she be da double-bagger.
posted by Frasermoo at 1:06 AM on May 22, 2002

My take is that the woman was behaving age-inappropriately with some younger girls.

My take is that a guy who did the same thing would be considered a child molester. I don't see any reason to view her alleged antics as harmless. If these charges are true, the woman's a threat to children.
posted by rcade at 8:17 AM on May 22, 2002

> the woman's a threat to children.

Maybe, but what kind of threat do you mean? Some people rape and kill children. They're a threat to life. And some people tell kids there's no Santa. They're a threat to innocence, to the obliviousness of childhood. This woman sounds a lot closer to the second type than to the first, and if she isn't doing it to harm anyone or to sexually gratify herself or them, it's not anything like being some sort of sexual predator. I wouldn't want her taking care of my kid (or hanging around with me, thanks), but the potential punishment is quite excessive:

"Lewd and lascivious exhibition is a second-degree felony that carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison and a $10,000 fine."

Yes, she was naked and lewd around kids. Technically, she could be locked up for 15 years. But she sounds more nuts than criminal, and probably can be talked or medicated back to Earth and convinced that little girls don't need to see her jumping around naked.

If a guy did the same thing with a roomful of boys, he probably would be treated like a molester (whether he was one or not), but that's not a logical argument, just a statement of societal fact.
posted by pracowity at 8:47 AM on May 22, 2002

I'll fourth that assertion. I find the "probably not that harmful" line of argument a lot more offensive than the predictable appearance-bashing. I don't object to being mean to horribly unqualified parents; I object to abusing young girls.

posted by anildash at 10:35 AM on May 22, 2002

I think anyone who shows their genitals to a bunch of children, gets one of them to wriggle on her lap, and encourages them to simulate blowjobs is a threat to kids. The charge seems appropriate to the crime; she's highly unlikely to serve 15 years unless there is other evidence in addition to this crazy party.
posted by rcade at 10:36 AM on May 22, 2002

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