Mergers are for cowards
March 1, 2018 2:36 PM   Subscribe

We agreed that the sense of optimism over the untrammeled terrain placed the game at the start of the Obama presidency - Monopoly is a better game with real money and crime , playing the classic boardgame with updated rules that better simulate capitalism.
posted by Artw (22 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
Someone gave me a copy of Ghettopoly at some point or other. Never opened it because it just seemed dumb. This seems much more fun.
posted by aspersioncast at 3:17 PM on March 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

I think I most enjoyed determining the order of play by the privilege of the players. It invites all kinds of disputes: who has more privilege? the biracial straight man, or the white woman who attended private school? Etc.
posted by crazy with stars at 3:32 PM on March 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm just going to dump all of the Monopoly pieces in with all of the Clue pieces and play a game consisting of a subset of the two games' rules. That seems fitting for these, ahem, capital times.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 3:40 PM on March 1, 2018 [3 favorites]

posted by Artw at 3:44 PM on March 1, 2018

Real Money Monopoly followed by a chaser of Guillotine sounds like a good way to spend an evening.
posted by egypturnash at 3:56 PM on March 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

Monopoly is a better game if you dispense with the "house" rules everybody seems to play with. No Free parking pay day, only borrow money by mortgaging property and if you're bankrupt you're out, only 1 hotel per property, and when someone lands on unowned property and they don't buy it the bank auctions it up beginning at any price. That speeds the game up immensely. Other way we've played it is to shuffle the properties and deal them out to all the players at the beginning of the game, trading is allowed.

I do like the d20 loan & crime mechanic from the OP though - I might add that into our games.
posted by Ashwagandha at 4:30 PM on March 1, 2018 [5 favorites]

Monopoly is just not a good game.

I do like the idea of this combination of rules lawyering and bastardry as a way to win though.

If you want a good fast game about buying up limited resources play Dominion.
posted by Artw at 4:35 PM on March 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

It is a perfect game when you are forced to sit somewhere for a very long time, because there is no game clock, and no easy way to speed up the proceedings.
argh yes there is play by the rules in the box
We have never played a game that finished in fewer than five hours and like all games, it reveals the secret heart of the people you love,
I have never understood critics who think that Monopoly or Risk steers friendships and relationships into the shoals. Divorce lawyers could drum up quite a bit of business by giving these people a copy of Diplomacy or Machiavelli.
as they are free to pursue complete victory without the usual factors of empathy, laziness, absent-mindedness, etc. impeding their ascent in real life

So if I understand you right, you are saying that theoretically someone lacking even a trace of empathy, and of no great intelligence but notable greed, might rise to a position of great wealth and power in society? Interesting.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:38 PM on March 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

My proposed idea (that I haven't bothered to actually try, so I know I'm being a total armchair whatever) was regulatory capture Monopoly.

Instead of the Free Parking house rule, you get a deck of additional rules that can be added to the game. A lot of them would be zoning laws, for example orange and green properties are declared historic landmarks, so building houses there now costs extra. Every time a player lands and turns over a new rule card, the players place bids either for or against adding the rule to the game.
posted by RobotHero at 4:47 PM on March 1, 2018 [6 favorites]

When I was younger and played the game, me and my friends used to make all kinds of hacks/cheats to the game, to make it more interesting.
• Every time you land directly on Go, collect $500
• Anything that is owed to the Bank is collected into the center of the board. Same with Luxury Taxes, they are not given to the bank but are thrown into the middle of the board and are a part of the Free Parking money pool. You land on Free Parking and all that cash is yours.
• Roll a snake eyes and you get one of every denomination/bill from the bank.
posted by Fizz at 4:54 PM on March 1, 2018

I also cheated at Monopoly constantly. I always made sure that I was in charge of the Bank. A few golden $500 bills that happen to accidentally get mixed up in my pile, well surely I'm not responsible for that kind of mix-up. A bank error clearly.
posted by Fizz at 5:00 PM on March 1, 2018

Every time a player lands and turns over a new rule card

Like a mash up of Fluxx and Monopoly? That could work. I love me some Fluxx.

Monopoly is just not a good game

To each there own. I have never been able to play a fast of game of Dominion personally and every time I've played it I found it to be a drag as a very casual player. It definitely rewards people who play it often and are SERIOUS. My wife and some friends like it though so I play it from time to time after a few beers.
posted by Ashwagandha at 5:24 PM on March 1, 2018

Here are rules I played with recently, they chopped a 2-person game down to a brisk 35 minutes. They're from a quickplay guide I found online, with a few twists:

-Luxury Tax is $200, no calculation.

-Land on a property, don't buy it? Immediate blind auction (all players write 3 bids on a slip of paper, flip over at the same time). Variation on quickplay rules.

- Go to Jail? You can roll doubles once to get out. If you fail and don't have a Get Out card, you must pay $50 and leave. Less than $50? Leave for free. Bottom line: one way or another, you are leaving that square this turn.

this last one was off the top of my head, but it worked great and kept us spending:
- if you pass go with over $1000 in liquid assets, you collect $0.
posted by ®@ at 9:03 PM on March 1, 2018

Our house rule sometimes meant you didn't collect money or be able to buy property whilst in jail.

I know someone who used to play with one person being the banker who had to make money via loans to the other players.

I think the Monopoly Empire (billboard) version of monopoly is actually a much better game that the standard one.
posted by 92_elements at 1:35 AM on March 2, 2018

To make monopoly truly reflect capitalism you don't need a bunch of rules, you just need to allow players to vote on rules changes.

When you start you're at standard monopoly rules. Nothing there prohibits mergers or loans or any other kind of deal. If you want to institute a new rule (say, build hotels directly without first needing four houses, or increase the supply of houses available, or allow building without a monopoly) you put it to the vote.

Of course you can also offer inducements to other players to get them to vote your way, unless you all vote not to allow that, and why would you vote that?

The final rule is that no one quits. If you're out of money you need to borrow from other players. They control the rates (unless you voted to restrict the kind of interest you can charge, but why would you do that? there's money to be made).
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 6:32 AM on March 2, 2018

If you really want to reflect capitalism instead of giving everyone $1500 or whatever at the beginning if would be a random amount varying from nothing to lots... and the ones with lots would get favourable rates from loans etc down the line to reflect family connections. being sent to the right schools etc.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:10 AM on March 2, 2018

That would be a more accurate representation of privilege than just turn order. Though I can see wanting to get people to consider the question but without dramatically changing their advantage in the game the way extra money does.
posted by RobotHero at 8:56 AM on March 2, 2018

If you were wondering, the chance of a successful robbery under these rules (2d6*d20≥120) is 139/720, or ~19.3%.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:38 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

I once heard of a variation using TSR's Dungeon! board game: you connect Jail on the Monoply board to the entry space on Dungeon, and if you're sent to jail you have to spend three turns in the dungeon at minimum -- although you can stay in there longer if you want, or enter voluntarily via Just Visiting.

I forget what the conversion rate of gold pieces to dollars was, 5:1 maybe.
posted by rifflesby at 11:07 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

I have never understood critics who think that Monopoly or Risk steers friendships and relationships into the shoals.

My mother in law recently turned incredibly nasty during a vacation game of Monopoly because my husband was blocking her buying houses. It completely ruined the day.
posted by Night_owl at 7:42 AM on March 3, 2018

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