Can I write for Sprite?
March 9, 2018 5:30 AM   Subscribe

 
Pepsi spring green?
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:39 AM on March 9, 2018


Holy crap. That's some good cover lettering.
posted by signal at 5:41 AM on March 9, 2018 [5 favorites]


I have a weird tradition that I've kept up since high school - I always drink Sprite when I go to the movies. This is just the guy to find a hook for that.
posted by mctsonic at 6:00 AM on March 9, 2018 [1 favorite]


he shoulda put seltzer not tap in those sprite litres 'cause the bev was hella flat. otherwise flawless
posted by Don Pepino at 6:06 AM on March 9, 2018 [2 favorites]


he shoulda put seltzer not tap in those sprite litres

given the attention to detail otherwise, i would not be surprised if he tried it with carbonation and discovered it didn't give the spray/flow ratio he was looking for
posted by halation at 6:09 AM on March 9, 2018 [2 favorites]


it didn't give the spray/flow ratio he was looking for

A cover letter is about THEM. What are THEY looking for?

Sprite is tripart. He had limon. He had quench. He lacked bubble.

Maybe that's his game, though. That long shot of the hot Texas bayou. All that backalley slow stodge. Warm tap water cascading over him and then him falling into a flat, dark pool. Maybe yumbrands or whoever will see that and get itchy from the one wrong thing in his otherwise perfect creation, a stagnation that isn't, he might be stressing with that verbal nod to Texas, his fault but Texas's. Maybe they'll be struck with subliminal rescue compulsion and pull him out of Dallas.
posted by Don Pepino at 6:39 AM on March 9, 2018 [5 favorites]


How often does this kind of thing pay off for people? Is it a common approach in that field to try and distinguish yourself from the rest of the candidate pool?
posted by Dip Flash at 6:52 AM on March 9, 2018


> I have a weird tradition that I've kept up since high school - I always drink Sprite when I go to the movies.

Me too, and I don't even know where it came from. I literally never drink Sprite at any other point in my life. I think it just goes better with movie theater popcorn than cola does.
posted by komara at 6:53 AM on March 9, 2018


I too am a movie theater Sprite drinker. Was there some Sprite at the Movies campaign 25 years ago?
posted by zinon at 7:01 AM on March 9, 2018 [1 favorite]


I just feel really sad about this.
posted by softlord at 7:13 AM on March 9, 2018 [23 favorites]


Sprite being caffeine free, and caffeine being a diuretic, I say it's a good choice for the movies.
posted by jonathanhughes at 7:27 AM on March 9, 2018 [5 favorites]


Yeah, this makes me deeply uncomfortable.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:28 AM on March 9, 2018 [5 favorites]


A cover letter is about THEM. What are THEY looking for?

Apparently him - he got the job, he starts in April.
posted by Fidel Cashflow at 7:37 AM on March 9, 2018 [12 favorites]


Apparently him - he got the job, he starts in April.

So now hiring managers are going to hate him as they get overwhelmed with video cover letters that take three minutes to view, instead of emails they can scan in 10 seconds.
posted by COD at 7:57 AM on March 9, 2018 [6 favorites]


So now hiring managers are going to hate him as they get overwhelmed with video cover letters

To be fair, we've been there for a while. Some employers, particularly in creative industries, now request them as a matter of course. Wieden+Kennedy is actually one of these -- they specifically ask copywriter applicants to "show us your passion, creativity, and face with a video telling us who you are. Tell us the stuff about yourself that’s too special for a résumé."
posted by halation at 8:11 AM on March 9, 2018 [3 favorites]


Is it a common approach in that field to try and distinguish yourself from the rest of the candidate pool?

Among copywriters, yes. And I haaaaaaate it, as a Creative Director with a copywriting background who has to hire other copywriters*. This is much better than some of the "see, i'm a quirky conceptual unconventional irreverent crrrraaaaazy huge brain on legs" tactics I've come across, but still.

Ok, I have to rant, sorry:

+ What is it with copywriters making themselves logos? You don't need a logo. Most of the time, these logos incorporate some kind of image of a literal brain or pencil. They're awful and... not conceptual at all! Ok, you are a brain and you have a pencil! Cool. Like, before I clicked the OP link I thought, "I betcha it's gonna open on an illustrated logo that incorporates a brain and/or pencil." Did not disappoint, I guess?

+ A dude I once interviewed came in and plunked a backpack in the shape of a huge cheeseburger on the table (which in fairness was pretty hilariously awesome, but not for an interview maybe?). He handed me his resume and... sure enough, brain and pencil logo. His cover letter referenced "ideas like unicorn barf" or something.

+ I was once mailed a resume that was 12 feet long. Seriously, it rolled out of the poster tube across the floor. The type was huge and unreadable. I may have laughed, but holy shit how much did that cost? How many did he make? Will he make such absurd decisions for my client?

+ A senior copywriter at my previous agency once made a "resume" with the express purpose of publicly slamming everyone he worked with, and posted it online. I'm still not totally sure what his end goal was. Like, you're trying to go viral... so congrats? But who's gonna hire a guy who a. spills company secrets, b. is a total asshole, and c. dies on a hill that isn't even that clever?

The majority of these dudes (almost always cis white dudes, srsly) are not even that good at the real on-the-job work.

Anyway, if you're gonna be clever, do it for a reason *other* than "getting a job." Like, I am super down for this. Show me what you can bring to my team that other writers can't. Show me you think strategically, not wacky. Show me your work—that came from an actual brief, for actual clients, with actual constraints. I do not need your unicorn puke ideas!

[apparently I have feelings about this]

[*pls don't judge my writing skills by this, im on the internet]
posted by functionequalsform at 8:11 AM on March 9, 2018 [30 favorites]


Increasingly, I believe our descendants are going to look back on capitalism with the same combination of awe/horror/total bafflement we have for the Roman Empire.
posted by Catseye at 8:13 AM on March 9, 2018 [13 favorites]


(I'd also argue that hiring managers have brought this plague upon themselves by switching to ATSs which bounce out everyone who can't perfectly game the keywords, leading to general desperation, but that is perhaps an argument for a different thread.)
posted by halation at 8:13 AM on March 9, 2018 [4 favorites]


That wasn't a brain and a pencil! It was a limon and a pencil! The more I think about this thing, the more beautiful it becomes. Like, who buys Sprite? You people in LA? No, you buy that mushroom tea crap that Lindsey Lohan drives drunk on. Do you EVEN understand who buys your shit? Texas buys Sprite, so why not let's sell Sprite to Texas. This is me and this is Texas, damn, it's hot as fuck and slow and not that fun, check it out, I can make it fun.

I agree, though, that it's a tragedy. He should write for other than Sprite.
posted by Don Pepino at 8:20 AM on March 9, 2018 [8 favorites]


I agree, though, that it's a tragedy. He should write for other than Sprite.

7-Up?
posted by logicpunk at 9:29 AM on March 9, 2018 [2 favorites]


Why didn't he get green lenses for his glasses instead of blue? It was all I could look at.
posted by Kwine at 9:35 AM on March 9, 2018


Waaaay too long. I was told that even for fully creative jobs, I should NEVER go over one page on the cover letter, and that was five pages easy, plus a lot of video (and audio) effects that should be the job of somebody other than the copywriter. Then again, I never got a creative job via a normal application 'cover letter', it was always a portfolio of content specifically relevant to the job.

He should write for other than Sprite.
The multiple new flavors of Diet Coke could use better creative copy.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:35 AM on March 9, 2018




Not enough waffles.

And ++ to Sprite at the movies. And Twizzlers. And drinking the Sprite through the Twizzlers.
posted by jferg at 10:09 AM on March 9, 2018 [2 favorites]


I haven't even watched this yet, but Don Pepino's enthusiasm for it is making me so happy.
posted by queensissy at 10:09 AM on March 9, 2018


Okay, that was awesome. I'd say he has a better chance working with Sprite than Eric Andre does.
posted by queensissy at 10:17 AM on March 9, 2018


How often does this kind of thing pay off for people? Is it a common approach in that field to try and distinguish yourself from the rest of the candidate pool?

When I worked at the ad agency 1 billion years ago, we (web devs and designers) would snicker and just laugh and laugh at all the "clever" cover letters that came in before throwing them away (back in '99 this kinda thing was often physical). But then the owner/"Principal Creative Director" would pull them out of the trash and give them an offer without even looking at a portfolio/resume. 4 months later the "clever" dude/girl would messily flame out and we'd go back to snickering and laughing until the next asshole got hired based on a cover letter/video of a conversation on an airplane.

So I guess you could say it worked!!
posted by sideshow at 10:42 AM on March 9, 2018 [1 favorite]


This is certainly better than my pitch for hot Sprite.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:25 AM on March 9, 2018


I once had the Sprite job this guy's going for. I thought I won the lottery when I got it. Boy was I wrong.
posted by Jubey at 8:56 PM on March 9, 2018 [5 favorites]


(I'd also argue that hiring managers have brought this plague upon themselves by switching to ATSs which bounce out everyone who can't perfectly game the keywords, leading to general desperation, but that is perhaps an argument for a different thread.)

Yes please. These trigger my 'machine inhumanity to humans' circuits, and if anyone feels moved to kick this off, I'll buy them the beverage of their choice. Unless it's Sprite, in which case Mr Texas Limon will be standing the tab. (But not Tab.)
posted by Devonian at 8:25 AM on March 10, 2018


hey Devonian i did the thing. (Blame it on a soul-crushing day of editing cover letters [which no human eye will likely ever see])

and i actually DO like Tab...
posted by halation at 4:05 PM on March 10, 2018 [2 favorites]


I bet you if a black guy tried this they wouldn't even give him an interview, they'd just make his video a cautionary tale for "how not to be professional".
posted by divabat at 6:11 PM on March 10, 2018 [2 favorites]


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