Never Nonchalant

March 12, 2018 4:18 PM

"When I'm not lucid, there is such a tie to feeling as though I've always been the same, as though I've always been sad or scared. And it feels shameful. It feels as though people prefer lucid, high functioning, somewhat normal brain chemistry me, and that the other version is a burden, an inconvenience to be around." A web-comic celebration of both.
posted by miniraptor (3 comments total)

...well, yeah, most people are going to prefer the lucid version of their friend/family member? It doesn't mean the one in distress isn't also their friend, or that someone who is lucid can't be an asshole, but in most cases yes, it's going to be harder to handle a relationship when someone is having serious problems.
posted by tavella at 4:32 PM on March 12, 2018 [7 favorites]

I'm a little surprised that this person seems to lack the fairly basic insight into depression or anxiety that it makes you feel like you are a trouble to other people, regardless of whether that's true or not. People around you certainly can act that way, but they could be acting in a completely opposite manner and your brain might well choose to reject that reality and substitute its own, because that's what depression and anxiety do.

Also, in the laudable attempt to demystify and destigmatize mental illness, sometimes the less nuanced act as though their being ill doesn't have negative effects on those close to them, or that only a selfish person would notice that. That's not fair, either. The people around her probably are happier, both on their own behalf and as people who care about her, when she is lucid and functional than when she is not.
posted by praemunire at 8:07 PM on March 12, 2018 [8 favorites]

Well, this definitely put into words how I feel when depression hits. I feel worthless so I must be worthless and that must be how others see me.
posted by Catbunny at 12:34 PM on March 13, 2018 [1 favorite]