#kissy #shmoopy #barf
March 24, 2018 9:02 PM Subscribe
It's not official real until it's on facebook instagram.
posted by Query at 9:15 PM on March 24, 2018
posted by Query at 9:15 PM on March 24, 2018
Even though I agree with the premise I hate thinkpieces and opinion columns so much I was reading it as if I disagreed just by reflex. I think the why of why people do this is that people feel like they need to generate #content to get attention or feel worthy of attention and the only thing they have to leverage is their relationship. People who have anything else start a podcast about whatever that thing is.
posted by bleep at 9:27 PM on March 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by bleep at 9:27 PM on March 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Welp, I have loved every partner I have been with. I have NEVER posted ANYTHING to Instagram.
posted by Samizdata at 10:03 PM on March 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Samizdata at 10:03 PM on March 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
Are You Really Annoyed with Your Friends If You Don't Write a NYT Thinkpiece About It?
posted by Emily's Fist at 10:04 PM on March 24, 2018 [32 favorites]
posted by Emily's Fist at 10:04 PM on March 24, 2018 [32 favorites]
> Emily's Fist:
"Are You Really Annoyed with Your Friends If You Don't Write a NYT Thinkpiece About It?"
Calling Bettridge's on that one.
posted by Samizdata at 10:19 PM on March 24, 2018
"Are You Really Annoyed with Your Friends If You Don't Write a NYT Thinkpiece About It?"
Calling Bettridge's on that one.
posted by Samizdata at 10:19 PM on March 24, 2018
Are They Really Your Friends If You Stop Following Them On Instagram?
posted by egypturnash at 11:07 PM on March 24, 2018
posted by egypturnash at 11:07 PM on March 24, 2018
You're just jealous. #haters
posted by filthy_prescriptivist at 5:12 AM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy_prescriptivist at 5:12 AM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
You’re just jealous. #haters #hatersgonnahate #donthatetheplayerhatethegame #relationships #love #lovewins #lovetrumpshate #bestlife #livingmybestlife #blessed #vegan #veganlife #dogsofinstagram
posted by ejs at 9:03 AM on March 25, 2018 [21 favorites]
posted by ejs at 9:03 AM on March 25, 2018 [21 favorites]
In some cases, that crap is something called "impression management," which can be a sign of some very bad things.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:54 AM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:54 AM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
the only thing they have to leverage is their relationship. People who have anything else start a podcast about whatever that thing is.
Imagine if every new couple started a podcast and also they could tell if you'd listened to their podcast and then were constantly like "no big deal I know you've got some pretty important stuff going on just thought you would have really liked the impressions we do of each other eating soup at minutes 35-43"
posted by escabeche at 9:57 AM on March 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
Imagine if every new couple started a podcast and also they could tell if you'd listened to their podcast and then were constantly like "no big deal I know you've got some pretty important stuff going on just thought you would have really liked the impressions we do of each other eating soup at minutes 35-43"
posted by escabeche at 9:57 AM on March 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
Couples on instagram always make me laugh because I have seen first hand how unglamorous, dispassionate and shallow it all is on the other side.
An old acquaintance of mine now has an online presence/brand where him and his girlfriend do this cute-weeabo-art-students-esque act together and have a constant stream of beautiful pictures of themselves and their #soaesthetic adventures. By all means, they're nice people....
But I remember spotting them in a cafe and they hadn't seen me, so I was witness to what's actually involved in getting that perfect instagram post. They held awkward embraces, static kisses and made cute faces at their phone's camera for upwards of 15 minutes.
Then, when they were done, their faces went completely slack in an instant. It was like watching someone's soul leave their body. They then proceeded to sit in silence and not eat the cakes or coffees they'd ordered. They looked like to mannequins, only moving to check their phone. It was eery.
I'm only in my 20s but I'm already sad that I'm growing up alongside a generation that considers internet stardom to be a worthwhile goal.
posted by InkDrinker at 10:38 AM on March 25, 2018 [14 favorites]
An old acquaintance of mine now has an online presence/brand where him and his girlfriend do this cute-weeabo-art-students-esque act together and have a constant stream of beautiful pictures of themselves and their #soaesthetic adventures. By all means, they're nice people....
But I remember spotting them in a cafe and they hadn't seen me, so I was witness to what's actually involved in getting that perfect instagram post. They held awkward embraces, static kisses and made cute faces at their phone's camera for upwards of 15 minutes.
Then, when they were done, their faces went completely slack in an instant. It was like watching someone's soul leave their body. They then proceeded to sit in silence and not eat the cakes or coffees they'd ordered. They looked like to mannequins, only moving to check their phone. It was eery.
I'm only in my 20s but I'm already sad that I'm growing up alongside a generation that considers internet stardom to be a worthwhile goal.
posted by InkDrinker at 10:38 AM on March 25, 2018 [14 favorites]
provided the anecdotes in TFA are actual, i have to imagine the author's lost some friends this morning (in both the follower sense and the real sense)
posted by halation at 11:47 AM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by halation at 11:47 AM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
> It's not official real until it's on facebook instagram.
Jusssssst a courtesy reminder that Facebook owns Instagram.
posted by enfa at 11:51 AM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Jusssssst a courtesy reminder that Facebook owns Instagram.
posted by enfa at 11:51 AM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Hah, I post pictures of my girlfriend on Instagram mostly as a way to bother all my friends, it’s sort of an inside joke to us. Our relationship is fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (I also tend to take more film photos of her, which not many people end up seeing)
posted by gucci mane at 12:35 PM on March 25, 2018
posted by gucci mane at 12:35 PM on March 25, 2018
Maybe I’m missing something obvious, but why are you trying to annoy your friends on Instagram and why would photos of your girlfriend annoy your friends in the first place?
posted by holborne at 2:22 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by holborne at 2:22 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
There's a couple I know where the wife basically only posts photos of herself and her husband together, so after some months of this, her photo grid just looks absurdly repetitive. All of the many flesh-colored photos start to look like a wax museum or something, seen in aggregate. They kind of look like they're melting into each other. They're also absurdly shmoopy in public comments. She's so basic, I can't even deign to hate on her all that much—hers is just an entirely different mode of existence than mine, and it's clear she's scarcely countenanced the notion of opsec. It all makes me laugh.
When it's not constant, but rather occasional, and the poster has written something original and sincere, e.g., a poet who's written a stanza to accompany a posted photo, that's different. I appreciate those heartfelt moments if they're authentic, especially when the photo is a good one on its own merits. If I wanted to see poorly lit photos of people I barely know anymore sitting together at a restaurant or at their dinner table, I'd go to Facebook.
I've mentioned before, I think, that love stories are fascinating to me, especially when things have gone wrong. Occasionally I'll see how far I can browse through a former couple's public photos together—seeing that entire history laid bare, the things they explored together, and the way the love they once had for each other is so visible in their photos together, then diminishes, is interesting to me. Social media has made it possible to scroll through a relationship's entire narrative arc in a matter of minutes.
For myself, I think about Talking Heads' More Songs About Buildings and Food all the time when I look at the Instagram account I post to, as there are almost no photos of people on there whatsoever, but lots of photos of buildings (less of food). A lot of other accounts that also only post landscapes or buildings or sunsets or graffiti or pins follow me, and there's sort of an implicit understanding that that's what we're there to share. Sometimes I think there should be more people—in my photos and in my life. But when I see a lot of that on Instagram, I'm just not into it—it's just not the kind of image I go there to see.
posted by limeonaire at 4:46 PM on March 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
When it's not constant, but rather occasional, and the poster has written something original and sincere, e.g., a poet who's written a stanza to accompany a posted photo, that's different. I appreciate those heartfelt moments if they're authentic, especially when the photo is a good one on its own merits. If I wanted to see poorly lit photos of people I barely know anymore sitting together at a restaurant or at their dinner table, I'd go to Facebook.
I've mentioned before, I think, that love stories are fascinating to me, especially when things have gone wrong. Occasionally I'll see how far I can browse through a former couple's public photos together—seeing that entire history laid bare, the things they explored together, and the way the love they once had for each other is so visible in their photos together, then diminishes, is interesting to me. Social media has made it possible to scroll through a relationship's entire narrative arc in a matter of minutes.
For myself, I think about Talking Heads' More Songs About Buildings and Food all the time when I look at the Instagram account I post to, as there are almost no photos of people on there whatsoever, but lots of photos of buildings (less of food). A lot of other accounts that also only post landscapes or buildings or sunsets or graffiti or pins follow me, and there's sort of an implicit understanding that that's what we're there to share. Sometimes I think there should be more people—in my photos and in my life. But when I see a lot of that on Instagram, I'm just not into it—it's just not the kind of image I go there to see.
posted by limeonaire at 4:46 PM on March 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
I often post pictures of my husband with one or more of our cats (because they're cute together), but I don't like being in pictures myself (cameras steal my soul). Sometimes on a birthday or anniversary one or the other of us will post something affectionate. Mostly, however, I'm uncomfortable with it, because it seems so performative. We've been happily married for 26 years and say "I love you" to each other three or four times a day, but no one on my Facebook or Instagram feed needs to know that.
posted by filthy_prescriptivist at 6:00 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy_prescriptivist at 6:00 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
It’s 2018, people. You’re not in love until the Kremlin denies it.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:42 PM on March 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by octobersurprise at 6:42 PM on March 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
Isn't there some modern version of sticks/stones that applies here ? You don't have to read every post of everyone you follow ?
posted by k5.user at 8:09 AM on March 26, 2018
posted by k5.user at 8:09 AM on March 26, 2018
You don't have to read every post of everyone you follow ?
Couldn't even if I wanted to! ::shakes fist at Instagram algorithm::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:28 AM on March 26, 2018 [3 favorites]
Couldn't even if I wanted to! ::shakes fist at Instagram algorithm::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:28 AM on March 26, 2018 [3 favorites]
I like seeing photos of my friends was a bit disappointed when everyone started taking their photos off Facebook and onto Instagram because it removed content that I thought was a perfect fit for Facebook. About the only time I'd be put off by excessive posing is if I'm eating with someone and they're taking too much time taking a photo when I'm just trying to eat.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:32 PM on March 26, 2018
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:32 PM on March 26, 2018
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Yes. Saved you a click.
posted by Space Coyote at 9:10 PM on March 24, 2018 [6 favorites]