The film critic steps up to the podium...

March 25, 2018 6:56 PM

“Good evening. Thank you all for coming. I'll read a brief statement, and then I'll be happy to take your questions“ - a review of Pacific Rim - Uprising, a movie in which giant robots fight other giant robots and also monsters.
posted by Artw (67 comments total)

Team Elbow Rocket #💪🚀
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 7:08 PM on March 25, 2018 [14 favorites]

That reads like a review that originally ended after the first graf and would have been perfect that way, but then the editor threw a fit and demanded something less gimmicky and was rewarded with an actual review awkwardly shoehorned into the same trope which is not nearly as clever when it's 2000 words.
posted by xthlc at 7:09 PM on March 25, 2018 [6 favorites]

SWORD!
posted by Artw at 7:12 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

"charisma vortex"

I love that the phrase could describe SO MANY of the new semi-hunky on paper male actors coming out now.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 7:14 PM on March 25, 2018 [15 favorites]

Re: Charisma Vortex -

@jason1749
Will someone please give Scott Eastwood a CBS procedural (NCIS: OMAHA?) so he stops cluttering up genre movies?
posted by Artw at 7:16 PM on March 25, 2018 [33 favorites]

I enjoyed it!
posted by Panthalassa at 7:24 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

The review that is. Even though the portrayal of Reporter #1 was basically shaming me.
posted by Panthalassa at 7:26 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

KAIJU LIGHT UP MY LIFE
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 7:31 PM on March 25, 2018 [15 favorites]

re: scott eastwood --

i was watching an interview of his for this promo cycle, and wow... unlike other famous on-screen potatoes (see: joel edgerton), he's aggressively uncharismatic even irl.

i wish this movie was better tho! otoh newt as rita repulsa is hilarious.
posted by cendawanita at 7:33 PM on March 25, 2018 [2 favorites]

KAIJU LIGHT UP MY LIFE

... It's a zine.
posted by Artw at 7:34 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

Reporter #1 is a Slate podcaster.
posted by doctornemo at 7:36 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

That was clever and fun. Thanks for posting it.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:36 PM on March 25, 2018

(i also 'like' how every one has collectively decided to do this movie a solid and at no point mention the fact that the new hero jaeger is also called 'gipsy' (avenger instead of danger), a fact that was definitively called out in the last movie, and to which the original writer apologised)

(like, why 'gipsy avenger', why not 'prodigal danger'? just you know, lean into that prodigal son trope a bit more)
posted by cendawanita at 7:37 PM on March 25, 2018 [5 favorites]

Je suis Reporter #5.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
posted by RakDaddy at 7:41 PM on March 25, 2018 [5 favorites]

One of the cool things about Pacific Rim, is that every industrialized nation that has a shore on the Pacific is expected to have built their own Jaegers, as evidenced by Russia, China and Australia, and your nation's Jaeger is understood to be there in the fight for the world, competitive and strong, and it's going to be a REALLY DAMN AWESOME ROBOT!

This is why Pacific Rim was a flop in the US, but broke records in every other market. Can you imagine a Malaysian Jaeger? An Indonesian one? A Peruvian Jaeger? Audiences in those countries sure could. I can, too, and it's wonderful!
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:51 PM on March 25, 2018 [16 favorites]

a malaysian jaeger will always be 'on the way'. bye world.
posted by cendawanita at 7:57 PM on March 25, 2018 [5 favorites]

I really enjoyed this, BURN GORMAN IS GO FOR LAUNCH! is great. But,

(i also 'like' how every one has collectively decided to do this movie a solid and at no point mention the fact that the new hero jaeger is also called 'gipsy' (avenger instead of danger), a fact that was definitively called out in the last movie, and to which the original writer apologised)

This is really disappointing. I haven't been paying close attention because I already get (and approve of) the premise of giant robots fighting giant monsters. Reading this I wouldn't know that they were doubling down on the controversy. In fact, I assumed the opposite.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 8:00 PM on March 25, 2018

80% less kaiju? WTF?
posted by filthy_prescriptivist at 8:07 PM on March 25, 2018

Went to see it today with my 14-year-old, who’s a huge fan. Taken on its own merits it’s a C+ film, lacking some of the quirky charm of the first movie. No Hannibal Chau, WTF? The physics and economics of the world make no sense whatsoever, but that’s hardly the point. MegaTokyo is going to need a little rehabilitation. In the inevitable third film, I will not be satisfied unless the Jaegers can combine into a giant, Voltron-like robot to fight a kaiju so large it blocks-out the sun.
posted by wintermind at 8:29 PM on March 25, 2018 [9 favorites]

I was meh on the original and never understood why people loved it so much, but I will say that in the interim I have become something of a connoisseur of Charlie Day losing his shit and screaming at people. If the new one has that, I might go see it.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:34 PM on March 25, 2018 [6 favorites]

Like, I know, robots punching monsters is cool, but Charlie Day going completely out of his tree is somehow grander in both scale and production value.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:35 PM on March 25, 2018 [6 favorites]

I have become something of a connoisseur of Charlie Day losing his shit and screaming at people

Not a heck of a lot of screaming, though.
posted by mikelieman at 8:37 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

Well, if Scott Eastwood ruins this franchise, maybe they won't let him be Wolverine.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:43 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

The original Pacific Rim was entertaining but flawed. But it had just enough character and uniqueness, and was subversive enough to win me over. Plus the ending was a nice mix of suspense and action.

I've only just seen the trailer, but it looks like the sequel is much less in the auteur-leaning realm of del Toro, and more in the big-and-dumb realm of Michael Bay.
posted by zardoz at 8:44 PM on March 25, 2018 [5 favorites]

This review does a good job of saying that PR2 is exactly the sort of unpretentious spectacle you expect it to be, and that it’s a well-made piece of spectacle, and if you like its sort of spectacle you’ll probably enjoy it.

I don’t know if it makes me want to see PR2. I enjoyed the original but I don’t feel much need for another serving just yet.
posted by egypturnash at 9:25 PM on March 25, 2018

Well, if Scott Eastwood ruins this franchise, maybe they won't let him be Wolverine.

Ugh. But at least if he played Wolverine it would have the effect of making Wolverine the uncool and boring one and the franchise might end up less Wolvie-centric.
posted by Artw at 9:31 PM on March 25, 2018 [2 favorites]

I don’t know if it makes me want to see PR2. I enjoyed the original but I don’t feel much need for another serving just yet.

Shin Godzilla is out there for free on a couple of streaming services, I’d give that one a if you want more monster madness. Or Skull Island, which is so very, very fun.
posted by Artw at 9:32 PM on March 25, 2018 [12 favorites]

Say what you want about the movies, but the first one's soundtrack was just the ticket for making you feel like your TPS reports or laundry-folding or morning commute was SAVING THE GODDAMN WORLD. It was like Ramin Djawadi wanted to tell Hans Zimmer "hold my beer and watch this".

Apparently the soundtrack to Uprising was composed by Lorne Balfe, who did some of the music for The Crown and also The LEGO Batman Movie (not sure if that's a recommendation or a warning?) so it'll be interesting to see how it compares.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:41 PM on March 25, 2018 [10 favorites]

> Artw:
"I don’t know if it makes me want to see PR2. I enjoyed the original but I don’t feel much need for another serving just yet.

Shin Godzilla is out there for free on a couple of streaming services, I’d give that one a if you want more monster madness. Or Skull Island, which is so very, very fun."

Shin Godzilla is so very, very, very good. I keep forgetting to watch Skull Island for some reason.
posted by Samizdata at 9:44 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

Thunder Urethra has replaced Striker Eureka as my new favourite Jaeger.
posted by turbid dahlia at 9:46 PM on March 25, 2018 [7 favorites]

If you watch Skull Island keep watching the credits.
posted by Artw at 9:46 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

Thunder Urethra has replaced Striker Eureka as my new favourite Jaeger.

It’d be an Aussie one as well, obviously.
posted by Artw at 9:47 PM on March 25, 2018 [4 favorites]

I hate AC/DC with a urethral rage but wanted to make a clever joke using a line or two from "Thunderstruck" and how it would be appropriate to be that new Jaeger's theme song and also add in something about chlamydia, but actually, the entire song could be repurposed to be about chlamydia. Not many songs you can say that about. AC/DC are truly a band that speaks to all life experiences.
posted by turbid dahlia at 9:57 PM on March 25, 2018 [4 favorites]

I’ve been working in a theory that Guillermo Del Toro movies are great when they’re modern fairy tales (Cronos, Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth, Shape Of Water) and less good when they’re not (Mimic, Pacific Rim, Crimson Peak, unproduced Mountains Of Madness script). (The Hellboy movies are anomalous in being good despite being only fairy tale adjacent.) I was hoping that Pacific Rim in DeKnight’s hands would kick things into a new gear. Apparently not! Oh well. Maybe Taika Waititi can take over the franchise next.
posted by ejs at 10:19 PM on March 25, 2018

Not many songs you can say that about. AC/DC are truly a band that speaks to all life experiences.

when AC/DC wants to write a song about venereal disease they're not even that subtle
posted by atoxyl at 10:20 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]

less good when they’re not (Mimic, Pacific Rim, Crimson Peak, unproduced Mountains Of Madness script).

HANDJOB MANSION was a triumph!
posted by Artw at 10:28 PM on March 25, 2018 [9 favorites]

I love Glen Weldon, and thanks to Pop Culture Happy Hour, I can imagine The Critic with his voice, which makes it even better.
posted by bibliowench at 10:41 PM on March 25, 2018 [7 favorites]

Occasionally the crew of Survival Research Labs musters for a movie night. This will be one of them.
posted by boilermonster at 11:40 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]

This review reminds me a lot of Matt Cale's style. If you like this Q&A format to your film reviews, you should check out the Ruthless Reviews website, though quality varies wildly there.

Full disclosure: I have been a contributing reviewer at that site.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 12:19 AM on March 26, 2018

Liked this, it was a cross between DFW (I KNOW and don't care) and Dorothy Parker, who if you've not read her theatre reviews you should
posted by runincircles at 1:46 AM on March 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

The obv setup for movie three is the G. Revenger.

I was also a bit messed up because I didn’t see any previews and spent the first half of the movie thinking Pentacost was Michael B Jordan (I am a movie star idiot and didn’t know Eastwood was a stage name).
posted by tilde at 1:56 AM on March 26, 2018

if anyone is at all interested, after i mentioned this thread, a friend dug up this old piece from a malaysian (fan)artist, charis loke, where she imagined the entire malaysian jaeger programme
posted by cendawanita at 2:36 AM on March 26, 2018 [11 favorites]

I always forget that Pacific Rim is a Del Toro picture. It just seemed like such a generic action film for him to make with so little of the weirdness that I love about his movies. It had some flashy visuals and was fun enough to see in a theater once but I tried watching again on TV and gave up out of boredom.
posted by octothorpe at 4:55 AM on March 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Oh my god, ArtW, “Handjob Mansion.” I’m dying over here.
posted by Kitteh at 5:50 AM on March 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

I mean, I am pretty ride or die for everything Crimson Peak chooses to be, but even I must concede that HANDJOB MANSION would have been a better title.
posted by Stacey at 6:11 AM on March 26, 2018 [6 favorites]

If you watch Skull Island keep watching the credits.

The credits reveal the actual star of Skull Island, which shouldn't be a surprise, as he's the first character we meet and the only one we care about.

I love that movie.
posted by maxsparber at 7:21 AM on March 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

PROJECT MONARCH 4-EVAH!
posted by Artw at 7:37 AM on March 26, 2018

I heart Glen Weldon.
posted by PussKillian at 8:00 AM on March 26, 2018

I always forget that Pacific Rim is a Del Toro picture.

Del Toro was working out a personal goal. Pacific Rim pays homage to all the predecessors. He didn't need a to do PR2, because he said everything he needed to say in PR.

The Gipsy Danger Intro/Suit Up/I'll be the head/Launch/Neural handshake... scene says it all. It's a Thunderbirds countdown from start to finish...
posted by mikelieman at 8:37 AM on March 26, 2018

The Monarch/Legendary Films series has been unexpected fun.
posted by mikelieman at 8:39 AM on March 26, 2018

I always forget that Pacific Rim is a Del Toro picture. It just seemed like such a generic action film for him to make with so little of the weirdness that I love about his movies.

Uprising highlights a lot of Del Toro's personal touches on the original through their absence. Everything about the world, from the Jaeger designs, to the pilot suits, even the office spaces and living quarters, are so much cleaner and more streamlined in the new film. That Del Toro chunkiness is gone.

Which makes sense for this film, because a significant amount of time has passed. The original film took place in a world that was created to tell a specific story. Uprising is the opposite-it's an attempt to take that existing world and figure out what stories should be told there. They seem to have taken a grab-bag approach. A little bit of "rebuilding a peacetime society after massive wartime destruction" here. A dash of "Jaegers as WMDs and all the politics of maintenance and non-proliferation that goes with that" there. Put all of that in a pot and set the burner to "plot consequences of a specific rash and desperate character choice from the original," and this is what comes out.

I thought it was fun. Boyega was effortlessly charismatic. Cailee Spaeny was fantastic. Scott Eastwood remembered all of his lines. What more could you ask for?
posted by Uncle Ira at 9:13 AM on March 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

Also, it should be noted that there are two, named, brain-in-a-vat characters in the movie - Newt's "girlfriend" Alice and Sarah the Drift Training Brain.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:37 AM on March 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

Ok, minority opinion: giant punching robots are cool, I guess, but too ridiculous to even sit through the first time, much less again. Suspension of disbelief can only go so far.
posted by umberto at 10:30 AM on March 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Thank you Reporter #1.
posted by Artw at 10:36 AM on March 26, 2018 [6 favorites]

I keep forgetting to watch Skull Island for some reason.

It would have been a crappy CGI-fest but John C Reilly swooped in and rescued the whole damn movie
posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam at 2:47 PM on March 26, 2018 [3 favorites]

John C. Reilly and Leslie Jones need to co-star in the most charming and thrilling character-actor comedy action-adventure romp EVER.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:24 PM on March 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

John C. Reilly bought almost unlimited fuckup credit from me with Walk Hard.
posted by Samizdata at 9:05 PM on March 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Guardians of the Galaxy, where he played it insanely straight as a Good Cop with a bi-racial Kree family, and yet got me to crack up hopelessly when dealing with Rocket and Drax at the end...
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:20 PM on March 26, 2018 [2 favorites]

> Slap*Happy:
"Guardians of the Galaxy, where he played it insanely straight as a Good Cop with a bi-racial Kree family, and yet got me to crack up hopelessly when dealing with Rocket and Drax at the end..."

He CAN be a vastly talented comedic actor, underappreciated, and appearing prone to bad life/movie decisions.
posted by Samizdata at 9:46 PM on March 26, 2018

Everyone has seen Walk Hard, right?
posted by Artw at 10:42 PM on March 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Repeatedly.
posted by maxsparber at 5:05 AM on March 27, 2018

That reads like a review that originally ended after the first graf and would have been perfect that way, but then the editor threw a fit and demanded something less gimmicky and was rewarded with an actual review awkwardly shoehorned into the same trope which is not nearly as clever when it's 2000 words.

If you think anyone other than Glen Weldon could make this piece happen, you are sorely mistaken. Practically the only thing the editor touched was a misspelled name.

I'm so glad the site doesn't have comments anymore.

Sincerely,
The Editor
posted by Linda_Holmes at 8:12 AM on March 27, 2018 [14 favorites]

and your nation's Jaeger is understood to be there in the fight for the world, competitive and strong, and it's going to be a REALLY DAMN AWESOME ROBOT

I like to imagine the i-Kiribati Jaeger is a giant animate form of their traditional battle dress.

And that the weapons are made using kaiju teeth lashed to the entire trunks of massive coconut trees.
posted by deadbilly at 3:37 PM on March 27, 2018 [1 favorite]

I have not seen Walk Hard.

I'm going to see this movie, only because I love robots fighting robots and monsters. And I like John Boyega.

Also I just spent way more time that I should've on the wikia for the series and I'm pretty impressed with the world they've built and the backstory on how the Drift came about, the history of the first Jaegers. All that stuff is like candy to me. And I only got on the site because of the next FPP, where the Amara comic mentioned a couple of names of Jaegers and I was all "Wait were those in the movie??".
posted by numaner at 3:56 PM on March 27, 2018 [1 favorite]

I warn you about falling down the hole of creating different national robots. I fell down that hole the first time around and it has taken me years to get my life back together.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:35 PM on March 27, 2018 [3 favorites]

I gasped about 6 times in this movie. My previous record for gasps was about 4 times, in the original. This movie was pure delight.

I'd like to highlight the ice cream scene as a surprising storytelling. They didn't go the way I expected, where the two masculine leads fight. Instead, they talked about their issues in a way that revealed the history between them and made them working together later on rather poignant. It would not have been poignant for me if they had been typical enemies.
posted by rebent at 8:59 PM on March 27, 2018 [1 favorite]

Choose your own adventure Avengers: Infinty War review - he’s evolving his style.
posted by Artw at 6:00 AM on April 25, 2018 [1 favorite]