May 22, 2002 10:29 PM   Subscribe

LLLETS GET READY TO CASH OUR CHHHHHHHECKSSSSSS!!! 'Celebrity Boxing II' aired tonight on FOX. Let's see: Sloppy amateur fighting? Check. Desperate people willing to debase themselves for some quick cash? Check. The stink of exploitation? Check.

Hey, wait a minute -- I'm watching Bumfighting!
posted by Dirjy (11 comments total)
Hope that guy didn't bet the farm.
posted by fahfooh at 10:33 PM on May 22, 2002

Who would have thought that Screech could kick ass, though?
posted by darukaru at 3:36 AM on May 23, 2002

Is this spectacle, or linking to AOL more offensive? OK. It's a tie. What a pathetic thing. Makes me almost want to move to Cuba.
posted by ParisParamus at 3:56 AM on May 23, 2002

Actually, I think it's a ton of fun to watch what D-list celebrities will do to get back into the spotlight.

I was most impressed with Dustin "Screech" Diamond's performance. The goatee was a nice touch.

On Buttafuoco's bout: the friend I watched the show with said in the middle of round 2, "I get the feeling this isn't the first time he's knocked a woman around." How sad, how true. Loved how the crowd booed him.

I was truly disappointed with the Fridge. I almost cried when in the third round the ref said to the two of them, "If you guys don't fight you don't get paid." All the big man had to do was walk forward and put his weight into his punches.
posted by rocketman at 6:34 AM on May 23, 2002

Well I wouldn't be surprised if Fridge pulled his punches because Manute was fighting to send money back to his home country (wish I could find the link to the ESPN OTL Weekly bit about him). So you could understand if the Fridge didn't particularly want to hurt the guy...
posted by turacma at 8:30 AM on May 23, 2002

Network television just keeps sinking lower and lower, if that were possible. I could hardly believe what I was seeing.

Spell check is back, huzzah!
posted by adampsyche at 8:32 AM on May 23, 2002

Hah, they cancel Futurama and The Family Guy, for that crap. I never thought I would say this -- being self-professed human refuse -- but Fox, you've let me down...
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:17 AM on May 23, 2002

2 years to gladiators. mark my words.

and thank god; i'm all for it. let's bring back a little of that roman bacchanalia.
posted by fishfucker at 9:50 AM on May 23, 2002

Futurama has not been canceled. Fox has a bunch of completed episodes that have not been shown, and the word is, they will be shown, since they've been paid for already.

Whether they'll commission any more after that is of course up in the air...
posted by kindall at 11:16 AM on May 23, 2002

I now have Celebrity Boxing wallpaper, featuring Dustin "Punchin' Screech" Diamond and Ron "Punched Out by Screech" Palillo.

I think this whole series (and there will be more of these: people love this stuff) is interesting for the difference between what the participants think it's all about and what the audience thinks.

You could tell how seriously Buttafuoco took this whole thing: no way would he let a woman knock him around. But the audience doesn't want to see him defend his manhood. The audience wants to watch him make a desperate grab for some attention. The look in his eyes when he realized that, too late into the third round, that was a KodakĀ® moment.

Or Palillo crying after being tossed around by someone half his age and fifty pounds heavier. Did he expect to step into the ring and have an instant moment of glory?
posted by rocketman at 11:38 AM on May 23, 2002

What stunned me was that Screech actually knew, approximately, how to box- that may be a first on this Fox series (it is a series now, isn't it? :) ). Most of the "Celebrity" boxers didn't know how to throw a punch, much less a combination. It was a physical mismatch- I never realized how tiny Horshack was; similar to the Darva Conger fight- she was like 10" taller than that gymnast.

I do think the Fridge was not fighting for a reason- he was horribly out of shape, and Bol was throwing punches, but Perry is an ex-NFL star who now works in construction- he could have and should have easily won simply by taking a few swings. Can't blame him if he threw the fight, though- Bol is using the money for a good cause, while Fridge can still get by on those "Superbowl Shuffle" royalties. :)

Buttafuoco "won", but really lost- he threw maybe a couple of actual punches, mostly just bulled into Laurer, including that "grab her neck and throw her down" move that would have gotten you disqualified in any real boxing match, and on actual points, actual clean hits, I think Laurer won anyway. He couldn't win, of course- no one wanted him to do anything but get beaten up, in part because of rocketman's observation that beating up women didn't seem to be a new experience for Joey. He's the classic Neanderthal male.

I thought Joanie would do better- she's probably as strong, same height, definitely in better shape- but never seemed to really attack. I think if she'd have gone at him, constantly throwing punches and working on combinations, he'd have been toast- I don't think in a high-tempo fight he'd have the stamina to last all 3 rounds. Instead, she hung back and only threw a few punches (but unlike Buttafuoco, her punches actually landed solidly) while waiting for him to come at her and shove her into a corner because of his extra 75 pounds of weight before she went defensive. She should have had a better face protector too- that thing was more hindrance than help.

Man, I can't believe I've typed this many words about celebrity boxing...
posted by hincandenza at 3:38 PM on May 23, 2002

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