Accelerated evolution of super-cockroaches is "unlikely to happen"
April 20, 2018 8:17 PM   Subscribe

The world’s largest cockroach farm is breeding 6 billion adult cockroaches a year and using artificial intelligence to manage a colony larger than the world’s human population – all for medicinal use. It is part of the production process for a “healing potion” consumed by millions of patients in China, according to the government.
posted by Johnny Wallflower (36 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
I am NOT clicking that link. Oh hell no.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 8:34 PM on April 20, 2018 [9 favorites]


“Hold your breath and (you) only hear a rustling sound,” it continued. “Whenever flashlights swept, the cockroaches fled. Wherever the beam landed, there was a sound like wind blowing through leaves."

Alllll right!
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:41 PM on April 20, 2018 [7 favorites]


The whole "using AI" thing is getting a bit old though. At least the whole "3D printed" thing (which I’m sure applies here too) has trailed off.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:44 PM on April 20, 2018 [4 favorites]


...better than rhino horn.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:51 PM on April 20, 2018 [18 favorites]


I clicked that link. There were no photos. I was disappointed.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:28 PM on April 20, 2018 [3 favorites]


Metafilter: 6 billion adult cockroaches a year
posted by bleep at 9:33 PM on April 20, 2018 [8 favorites]


“Whenever flashlights swept, the cockroaches fled. Wherever the beam landed, there was a sound like wind blowing through leaves."

*Pops in DVD of Pitch Black*
posted by sysinfo at 9:34 PM on April 20, 2018 [12 favorites]


Accelerated evolution of super-cockroaches is "unlikely to happen"

That's what the aliens said when they came to Earth and bred a more tender and hairless primate as part of their "tree meat" initiative. Look how that turned out.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:45 PM on April 20, 2018 [30 favorites]


Look how that turned out.

I'm pretty well-marbled and undoubtedly would sizzle nicely in an integral-tree-fired barbeque...
posted by maxwelton at 9:52 PM on April 20, 2018 [15 favorites]


Halloween Jack: Humans- The feral pigs of the galaxy.

It'd kind of suck to finally get to the stars and realize that there's a) a lot of humans already out there and b) there's no bag limit, tag requirement, or seasonal restriction for humans.
posted by Grimgrin at 10:24 PM on April 20, 2018 [9 favorites]


The potion page covers everything:

* and wound baby
* trauma, stab wounds, laser wounds, surgical wounds
* boil is caused by what the?
* hump-related diseases

ctrl-f "pus" 24 hits.
posted by Gotanda at 10:46 PM on April 20, 2018 [10 favorites]


It'd kind of suck to finally get to the stars and realize that there's a) a lot of humans already out there…

Slightly off topic, but that's one of my fears about discovering interstellar travel. I mean what if aliens visited and kidnapped some of us long ago, and now there's millions or billions of humans already out there living the gay space communism life? I'd be fuckin' pissed that I missed out on all that just because they wanted us to figure it out ourselves before properly saying hello.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 10:47 PM on April 20, 2018 [7 favorites]


Still not clicking that link though. I don't trust y'all.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 10:47 PM on April 20, 2018 [5 favorites]


The potion page covers everything:

...gas micro-stench, sweet.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:10 PM on April 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


Slightlyoff topic, but that's one of my fears about discovering interstellar travel. I mean what if aliens visited and kidnapped some of us long ago, and now there's millions or billions of humans already out there living the gay space communism life? I'd be fuckin' pissed that I missed out on all that just because they wanted us to figure it out ourselves before properly saying hello.

Or worse, our entire strain is descended from people who just couldn’t make it out of bed that morning. It would explain a lot, though.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 12:22 AM on April 21, 2018 [6 favorites]


So would you rather fight 6 billion cockroaches or one cockroach the size of 6 billion?
posted by chavenet at 2:59 AM on April 21, 2018 [8 favorites]


One. Absolutely one.
posted by postel's law at 4:21 AM on April 21, 2018 [4 favorites]




Metafilter: ctrl-f "pus" 24 hits.
posted by virago at 4:44 AM on April 21, 2018 [5 favorites]


Also: Definitely not clicking the link on giant roaches with testicles.
posted by virago at 4:46 AM on April 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


To quote the article, “This is knowledge I’d rather live without...”
posted by jim in austin at 5:25 AM on April 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


I. for one, am not particularly happy about our new cockroach overlords.

(Comment works just as well in Trump thread.)
posted by Grangousier at 6:18 AM on April 21, 2018 [3 favorites]


Mrs. VTX used to work for Ecolab's pest elimination division. They used to have an R&D facility in St. Paul, MN where they developed, among other things, new pesticides.

Rumor has it that the building was hopelessly infested with cockroaches and had been for years. Making matters worse is that those cockroaches had all developed resistances to every pesticide thrown at them. Eventually Ecolab gave up and just demolished the building after having built a new R&D facility nearby.

So I'm not sure I believe the claim that they won't evolve super-cockroaches.
posted by VTX at 6:30 AM on April 21, 2018 [14 favorites]


now there's millions or billions of humans already out there living the gay space communism life?

Pretty sure they're being farmed for an alien placebo potion and/or used as human batteries to mine Spacecoins.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:22 AM on April 21, 2018


Slightly off topic, but that's one of my fears about discovering interstellar travel. I mean what if aliens visited and kidnapped some of us long ago, and now there's millions or billions of humans already out there living the gay space communism life? I'd be fuckin' pissed that I missed out on all that just because they wanted us to figure it out ourselves before properly saying hello.
I have definitely read a SF story along those lines, though I cannot place it. The modus operandi was to capture some natives, and populate worlds with them, so that when the remaining natives finally climbed out of their gravity well to join the larger interstellar community, they would find themselves as a minority in their more advanced and well integrated species' society, easing the overall introduction to polite civilisation.

Id, plz.
posted by bouvin at 7:59 AM on April 21, 2018 [4 favorites]




Video report of Chinese cockroach farms, with live cockroaches. It's actually pretty interesting.
posted by BWA at 8:19 AM on April 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


bouvin, The Algebraist.
posted by dilaudid at 9:28 AM on April 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


bouvin, The Algebraist.
Of course! Thank you.
posted by bouvin at 10:03 AM on April 21, 2018


Thanks, BWA, those videos were great.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:36 AM on April 21, 2018


TREE MEAT
posted by stinkfoot at 10:42 AM on April 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


StickyCarpet: The potion page covers everything:

...gas micro-stench, sweet.


As much fun as it is to laugh at “woo”, I’m glad somebody is selling something to combat cervical erosion.
posted by dr_dank at 10:53 AM on April 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


There's no creature that I hate more. Nothing even comes close. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Just typing the word feels good.

Stomp.
posted by Beholder at 12:47 PM on April 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


And that young cockroach farmer grew up to be Niander Wallace.
posted by lagomorphius at 2:08 PM on April 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


Maybe it's time to reboot Mimic (1997).
posted by Monochrome at 3:25 PM on April 21, 2018


And people were worried about rogue AI's turning the entire mass of the Earth into paperclips...
posted by dilaudid at 3:51 PM on April 21, 2018 [2 favorites]


« Older What makes #9B51E0 purple?   |   Where are we going? Somewhere we belong. Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments