“It’s basically porn, for the PC Master Race,”
May 1, 2018 12:31 PM Subscribe
Build Your Own PC Inside the PC You Built With PC Building Simulator [Ars Technica] “The "simulator" genre of PC games was already pretty meta, but it has now reached a new level with PC Building Simulator, a game currently available via Steam Early Access. In it, you build desktop PCs (mostly the gaming variety) by opening up the case, installing components, plugging them into the motherboard for power, and more, all in a 3D simulation. (Sorry, no VR.)”
• 'PC Building Simulator' Takes the Intimidation Out of Your First Build [Motherboard]
• 'PC Building Simulator' Takes the Intimidation Out of Your First Build [Motherboard]
“Building a computer can be a daunting task for first timer. Hell, even if you've done it before, there are aspects that can be trying and test your patience. (Ahem.) Manuals aren't always well-written, and it's a little too easy to screw things up. It would be nice to have a dry run. Claudiu, a programmer from Romania, is looking to change that with his new multiplatform PC Building Simulator "game." While currently in a pre-alpha state, it gives a very nice three dimensional representation of what it's like to assemble a desktop computer from off the shelf components. "The development of the game started as a personal project, that I thought later people would enjoy," Claudiu told Motherboard in an email. "I always had a thing for building computers and toying with different configurations and components, but it's a very expensive hobby. When you I couldn't find any software allowing me to do this, I thought I would make my own."”• How authentic is PC Building Simulator really? [PC Gamer]
“There are two things that elevate this simulated experience over the real deal for me. The first is being free to experiment with a toybox full of components, many officially licensed and lovingly recreated, then loading up 3DMark to see how powerful your creation is. It's completely meaningless, of course, but I don't think the deeper recesses of my brain know that. They deliver the same dopamine hit as they would if I'd just upgraded my real rig. The second is something I haven't mentioned till now, and that's the career mode. It's a by-the-numbers job sim in which emails trickle in, broken PCs arrive in your hallway in need of various repairs, and you order parts in to repair or upgrade them with, keeping a keen eye on your finances. Completing jobs levels you up, which unlocks new components and extra work benches. Simple. It's the kind of thing that's been implemented countless times in other games under different guises and it's still therapeutic and enjoyable.”• PC Building Simulator is a good intro to PC building [Rock Paper Shotgun]
“Naturally, clicking and holding down the left mouse button to undo screws, connect cables and lift up CPU shields doesn’t quite capture the same sensation of handling it all with your own fingers and experiencing the white hot fury of losing every last screw down the back of your power supply cage. I’ve mangled more than a few nails trying to push stiff power cables into awkward motherboard slots over the years, and there have even been times when I’ve sliced open my hand on particularly sharp bits of case. In this sense, PC Building Simulator often glosses over the hard graft involved in real-world PC building, but the developer’s road map for the game shows that some of that physicality is at least on its way. Features like cable management, allowing players to thread their own cables and make their own routes as opposed to having it magically snap into place, and case modding are all in the pipeline, as well as overclocking, water cooling and RAID options. It may not be wholly realistic at times, but as an introduction to PC building, I’d say it lays a pretty solid foundation.”
oooh, hey Steam, can i bundle this with Strange Manual Reading Simulator, where i get to try and decipher tiny pixelated drawings and foreign languages to help me learn secret tactics to use in PC Building Simulator??
posted by wibari at 12:36 PM on May 1, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by wibari at 12:36 PM on May 1, 2018 [9 favorites]
No, but you can put Shenzhen I/O in the same cart and pretend it was a bundle.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:47 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by tobascodagama at 12:47 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
Does it simulate the process of trying to order a nice spiffy graphics card only to find that the price has been pushed through the roof by Bitcoin miners?
posted by Major Clanger at 12:49 PM on May 1, 2018 [30 favorites]
posted by Major Clanger at 12:49 PM on May 1, 2018 [30 favorites]
I'm trying to evision a simulator of something more tedious and frustrating than building a PC. Virtual Getting Your Insurance Company to Pay a Claim 2018? Work Teleconference Simulator (with DLC for meetings where 2/3 of the discussion is about when, where, and with whom other people on the call had meetings)?
That said, I do enjoy Viscera Cleanup Detail in short bursts (and with as little use of the stupid portable lift thing as possible), so I'm not immune to the satisfaction of doing something that usually sucks in a simulator where the things that suck most about it are automated away or not physically experienced.
posted by Copronymus at 12:54 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
That said, I do enjoy Viscera Cleanup Detail in short bursts (and with as little use of the stupid portable lift thing as possible), so I'm not immune to the satisfaction of doing something that usually sucks in a simulator where the things that suck most about it are automated away or not physically experienced.
posted by Copronymus at 12:54 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
Does it simulate the process of trying to order a nice spiffy graphics card only to find that the price has been pushed through the roof by Bitcoin miners?
That would be a pretty brilliant hard mode, actually.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:54 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
That would be a pretty brilliant hard mode, actually.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:54 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
oooh, hey Steam, can i bundle this with Strange Manual Reading Simulator, where i get to try and decipher tiny pixelated drawings and foreign languages to help me
You misspelled Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes.
posted by RolandOfEld at 1:00 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
You misspelled Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes.
posted by RolandOfEld at 1:00 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
but can you wreck the CPU by tightening the heatsink too much?
posted by Zed at 1:04 PM on May 1, 2018 [10 favorites]
posted by Zed at 1:04 PM on May 1, 2018 [10 favorites]
I see this game as total validation of my choice to use my PC only for low system-requirement strategy games on Steam, and reserve my AAA gaming experiences for a purpose-built game console. I shouldn't have to treat my gaming hardware like a hot rod that that's always in the garage just to get a graphically-intensive title to play in an acceptable manner.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:11 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:11 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Is there a career mode, where you start out building S-100 bus CP/M systems, switch over to PC compatables, and then work your way from ISA to PCIe with a brief MCA dead-end in the middle?
posted by ckape at 1:13 PM on May 1, 2018 [16 favorites]
posted by ckape at 1:13 PM on May 1, 2018 [16 favorites]
I shouldn't have to treat my gaming hardware like a hot rod that that's always in the garage just to get a graphically-intensive title to play in an acceptable manner.
To be honest you don't need to. If you're happy with the graphics standards and framerates of current gen consoles you can buy one mid-range gaming PC and be ahead of the curve for years.
I haven't done anything to my PC for years and it runs everything fine.
posted by howfar at 1:17 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
To be honest you don't need to. If you're happy with the graphics standards and framerates of current gen consoles you can buy one mid-range gaming PC and be ahead of the curve for years.
I haven't done anything to my PC for years and it runs everything fine.
posted by howfar at 1:17 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
All of the above to say that people who are constantly tweaking their PCs do it because they like it, the maniacs.
posted by howfar at 1:18 PM on May 1, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by howfar at 1:18 PM on May 1, 2018 [9 favorites]
I'm actually super interested in this, because I want/need to build a desktop PC for my house, but there don't seem to be any suggestions on how to build PCs if visual graphics processing is not your top priority (mine is actually datacrunching), and every guide I've seen has been overwhelming and intimidating and confusing. But everyone says not to buy pre-assembled desktop towers these days, and it's very frustrating trying to wade through all the arguing to figure out how to do something I find mildly intimidating so I can have a goddamn functioning desktop tower. I have one semi-functional tower at the moment, and I want to see if I can cannibalize any of the parts, but I'm just overwhelmed by all the gaming-centric stuff out there--I want a ton of storage, RAM for analysis, and pretty minimal graphics stuff. But everything is about rendering graphics oh my god.
A game seems like a fairly helpful tutorial sort of thing on setting up machines and seeing how they come out without having to pay out the nose first.
posted by sciatrix at 1:20 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
A game seems like a fairly helpful tutorial sort of thing on setting up machines and seeing how they come out without having to pay out the nose first.
posted by sciatrix at 1:20 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
Simulating this has no appeal to me, but I did always enjoy the experience of assembling a new PC from parts. I haven't done it in years (pretty much just use laptops nowadays) but it was always very satisfying to get all the pieces in the mail, carefully unbox them, and then very carefully slot and clip and screw everything together just so, and end up with a working computer (hopefully on the first try). It's not very hard to do, doesn't take more than an hour or two, and feels nicely technical in a sort of zen-like way.
The only problem is when you realize partway through that you forgot to order a wifi card or your PSU doesn't have enough of the right kind of connector or your graphics card is so fat that it's blocking one of the slots next to it and now there's not enough space for everything. Then there's weeks more agonized waiting (probably only days now, I guess) until the right thing comes in the mail and you can complete your project, during which time your brand new PC becomes measurably more obsolete.
Got off that treadmill when I stopped playing games, though. Buying a new $500 graphics card (at a minimum) on a yearly basis just doesn't appeal anymore. Just seemed like too expensive a hobby for me compared to how much joy I was getting out of it. Plus there are a gazillion excellent games out there now that will run on any bog-standard laptop from the last five years, so if I ever want to take up gaming again there's a pretty much unlimited backlog that I can work through before I have to buy any gaming-related hardware.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:23 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
The only problem is when you realize partway through that you forgot to order a wifi card or your PSU doesn't have enough of the right kind of connector or your graphics card is so fat that it's blocking one of the slots next to it and now there's not enough space for everything. Then there's weeks more agonized waiting (probably only days now, I guess) until the right thing comes in the mail and you can complete your project, during which time your brand new PC becomes measurably more obsolete.
Got off that treadmill when I stopped playing games, though. Buying a new $500 graphics card (at a minimum) on a yearly basis just doesn't appeal anymore. Just seemed like too expensive a hobby for me compared to how much joy I was getting out of it. Plus there are a gazillion excellent games out there now that will run on any bog-standard laptop from the last five years, so if I ever want to take up gaming again there's a pretty much unlimited backlog that I can work through before I have to buy any gaming-related hardware.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:23 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
But everyone says not to buy pre-assembled desktop towers these days, and it's very frustrating trying to wade through all the arguing to figure out how to do something I find mildly intimidating so I can have a goddamn functioning desktop tower.
Depending on your budget and whether you're wanting to make this a high-end gaming PC, I've actually read a lot of articles that suggest otherwise. Because of the bitcoin miners driving up the prices of GPUs, pre-built gaming PCs/laptops are actually not too too bad on the wallet (or at least they're nicer than going custom).
posted by Fizz at 1:23 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
Depending on your budget and whether you're wanting to make this a high-end gaming PC, I've actually read a lot of articles that suggest otherwise. Because of the bitcoin miners driving up the prices of GPUs, pre-built gaming PCs/laptops are actually not too too bad on the wallet (or at least they're nicer than going custom).
posted by Fizz at 1:23 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
Once the sim is built, down load again and build a sim in the sim? Automate, recurse!
posted by sammyo at 1:24 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 1:24 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Is there any way this can be leveraged to make someone set up GPU passthrough for me?
posted by The Gaffer at 1:24 PM on May 1, 2018
posted by The Gaffer at 1:24 PM on May 1, 2018
A lot of datacrunching these days is done on graphics cards, sciatrix. I trust that you know what kind of analyses you want to run, but buying a fancy graphics card for computationally-intensive calculations (see: bitcoin) is not at all out of the ordinary. Just depends on what kind of calculations you're trying to do.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:24 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:24 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
but can you wreck the CPU by tightening the heatsink too much?
Recently I'd been getting blue-screens because one edge of the heatsink and fan had become detached from the (vertically-mounted) CPU and motherboard. I don't have thermal paste lying around so I just tipped the tower over to keep everything in contact. It's like I have an olde timey horizontal desktop again.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 1:32 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
Recently I'd been getting blue-screens because one edge of the heatsink and fan had become detached from the (vertically-mounted) CPU and motherboard. I don't have thermal paste lying around so I just tipped the tower over to keep everything in contact. It's like I have an olde timey horizontal desktop again.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 1:32 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
Can I just say that I loathe the phrase "PC Master Race"? It's not funny, it's not funny floating.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [54 favorites]
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [54 favorites]
I side-eyed that title real hard too but gave it a pass because Fizz.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:44 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:44 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
sciatrix, probably any modern consumer motherboard has ports for graphics built-in, and either the CPU will have an on-board GPU, or the associated chipset does. (You should check on it when considering something, of course, but it's very likely.) And odds are great that'll offer perfectly adequate graphics support for watching video or about anything else that isn't playing games of the last few years' vintage. But as noted above, graphics isn't the only thing that might get farmed out to the GPU, so there are other reasons one might want a graphics card.
I build my own machines and haven't bought a graphics card for a decade or so.
posted by Zed at 1:45 PM on May 1, 2018
I build my own machines and haven't bought a graphics card for a decade or so.
posted by Zed at 1:45 PM on May 1, 2018
I really, really, really want retrocomputing versions of this.
Jumper up your IRQs! See if you can jam your too-wide ISA cards into the slots in the right order so that tall components on the front side don't short anything out! Can YOU get your Gravis Ultrasound and Yamaha OPL3-based cards to duke it out on the same bus? What about that new Microsoft mouse? Can you squeeze in a PS/2 adapter card just for shits and giggles? Don't forget to wire up the jumpers for your front-of-box 7-segment speed displays! Wire up that Turbo button and Let's POST!
I mean, I really want a QBUS/PDP11 minicomputer build simulator, but I'm only gonna dream so big here
posted by phooky at 1:50 PM on May 1, 2018 [41 favorites]
Jumper up your IRQs! See if you can jam your too-wide ISA cards into the slots in the right order so that tall components on the front side don't short anything out! Can YOU get your Gravis Ultrasound and Yamaha OPL3-based cards to duke it out on the same bus? What about that new Microsoft mouse? Can you squeeze in a PS/2 adapter card just for shits and giggles? Don't forget to wire up the jumpers for your front-of-box 7-segment speed displays! Wire up that Turbo button and Let's POST!
I mean, I really want a QBUS/PDP11 minicomputer build simulator, but I'm only gonna dream so big here
posted by phooky at 1:50 PM on May 1, 2018 [41 favorites]
[and I basically missed the datacrunching priority bit in your message sciatrix, so, um, never mind.]
posted by Zed at 1:56 PM on May 1, 2018
posted by Zed at 1:56 PM on May 1, 2018
I side-eyed that title real hard too but gave it a pass because Fizz.
I pulled it from one of the articles, and I now realize it's not the best pull quote, I realize it has a lot of built in baggage and none of it pleasant, so apologies for that. I'll be a bit more considerate next time.
posted by Fizz at 1:56 PM on May 1, 2018 [8 favorites]
I pulled it from one of the articles, and I now realize it's not the best pull quote, I realize it has a lot of built in baggage and none of it pleasant, so apologies for that. I'll be a bit more considerate next time.
posted by Fizz at 1:56 PM on May 1, 2018 [8 favorites]
The motherboard I picked for my current computer doesn't have onboard video. You can still get them! If you don't want graphics-intensive stuff, pretty well any video card will do. Pick a price point and go from there.
I really, really, really want retrocomputing versions of this.
Me too! I'm in the middle of building a retro dos computer (P133, Voodoo1, ISA OPL3 soundcard, turbo display, etc etc), and my skillz at setting IRQs and whatnot have seriously atrophied over the past 30 years. Those turbo displays are a real PITA.
posted by fimbulvetr at 1:58 PM on May 1, 2018
I really, really, really want retrocomputing versions of this.
Me too! I'm in the middle of building a retro dos computer (P133, Voodoo1, ISA OPL3 soundcard, turbo display, etc etc), and my skillz at setting IRQs and whatnot have seriously atrophied over the past 30 years. Those turbo displays are a real PITA.
posted by fimbulvetr at 1:58 PM on May 1, 2018
Correct title is "Yo dawg, I heard you like building PCs"
posted by RobotHero at 2:00 PM on May 1, 2018 [26 favorites]
posted by RobotHero at 2:00 PM on May 1, 2018 [26 favorites]
Can I just say that I loathe the phrase "PC Master Race"? It's not funny, it's not funny floating.
I side-eyed that title real hard too but gave it a pass because Fizz.
Agreed, I didn't even notice the title at first and now I'm like :\. No offense to you Fizz, I realize you're just quoting Ars Technica's article.
Does anybody know the origin of how that particular phrase came into the vocabulary of gaming culture, because I'm honestly curious. With everything that we know now about how Gamergate served as the test run for indoctrinating and mobilizing the alt-right, I don't feel especially inclined to give certain bits of ironic gamer lingo the benefit of the doubt at the moment.
posted by Strange Interlude at 2:01 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
I side-eyed that title real hard too but gave it a pass because Fizz.
Agreed, I didn't even notice the title at first and now I'm like :\. No offense to you Fizz, I realize you're just quoting Ars Technica's article.
Does anybody know the origin of how that particular phrase came into the vocabulary of gaming culture, because I'm honestly curious. With everything that we know now about how Gamergate served as the test run for indoctrinating and mobilizing the alt-right, I don't feel especially inclined to give certain bits of ironic gamer lingo the benefit of the doubt at the moment.
posted by Strange Interlude at 2:01 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
Does anybody know the origin of how that particular phrase came into the vocabulary of gaming culture, because I'm honestly curious.
I believe it stemmed from Zero Punctuation, where there was some sarcasm in the use, but then got picked up and used unironically.
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:06 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
I believe it stemmed from Zero Punctuation, where there was some sarcasm in the use, but then got picked up and used unironically.
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:06 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
I thought PC Master Race was a subreddit that originally started making fun of ppl who continuously talked about how much better PCs were?
posted by gucci mane at 2:08 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by gucci mane at 2:08 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
I can recreate the PC I put together earlier this month almost 100% with this. I was lucky enough to have an unlimited budget* and I found that if you're buying premium components you end up with a disco. Seriously, fairy lights on the MB, on the RAM, on the GPU, on the heatsink, out the front, out the back. I had no idea that lights were now standard for everything.
I super DGAF what the computer looks like on the inside. I'd be happy with a beige box. I can see how people can get into it though.
*holy fuck I am NOT paying that much for a graphics card! I am mad as a cut snake that the 1070 I bought this time last year is actually selling for MORE now.
posted by adept256 at 2:09 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I super DGAF what the computer looks like on the inside. I'd be happy with a beige box. I can see how people can get into it though.
*holy fuck I am NOT paying that much for a graphics card! I am mad as a cut snake that the 1070 I bought this time last year is actually selling for MORE now.
posted by adept256 at 2:09 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
The "PCMR" term started as an immensely sarcastic quip on the part of Yahtzee. Yahtzee, of course, has a lot of problems, including an obnoxious fence-sitting/both sides approach to GG. Despite that, however, he's fairly blameless in this, as his original use was absolutely a piss-take directed at the people who now use it as a self-descriptor with no irony whatsover.
The relevant Know Your Meme post (linked above) has a link to the original video, which was a review of The Witcher, if you want to see it for yourself.
I thought PC Master Race was a subreddit that originally started making fun of ppl who continuously talked about how much better PCs were?
Maybe for like five minutes. It hasn't been that for a long, long time.
posted by tobascodagama at 2:10 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
The relevant Know Your Meme post (linked above) has a link to the original video, which was a review of The Witcher, if you want to see it for yourself.
I thought PC Master Race was a subreddit that originally started making fun of ppl who continuously talked about how much better PCs were?
Maybe for like five minutes. It hasn't been that for a long, long time.
posted by tobascodagama at 2:10 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
sciatrix - I don't know what software you're using, but for non-gaming pc builds I always recommend the build guides at Puget Systems. They have a couple more geared towards data crunching (look at what they have for 'engineering' or 'scientific computing' and see if any of that applies). Their prebuilts are IMO too expensive but their part lists are a great start on what to prioritize in your build. I would recommend against a prebuilt because even though the system specs might be the same (or even better specs for less in the prebuilt) if you build your own you'll be able to make sure all the components are good quality and you'll be able to easily replace any individual part that dies.
posted by matcha action at 2:17 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by matcha action at 2:17 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
It hasn't been that for a long, long time.
Yeah, at the point that they started using that black & red Nazi flag with the center spot replaced with the Steam logo, it's gone way past normal. Questionably-ironic internet computer Neo-Nazis are a hard nope these days
posted by CrystalDave at 2:19 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
Yeah, at the point that they started using that black & red Nazi flag with the center spot replaced with the Steam logo, it's gone way past normal. Questionably-ironic internet computer Neo-Nazis are a hard nope these days
posted by CrystalDave at 2:19 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
Do they include the part where the fucking thing NEVER works the first time you turn it on, and then you spend like 6 hours fiddling with BIOS settings and switching cards to different slots, and searching online for the meaning of strange beep patterns, and in the end, just when you think you fried some random chip by just ONCE putting some stupid thing down on the wrong stupid surface for a second... just then it infuriatingly starts working perfectly in the EXACT SAME configuration you had in the first place?
Because I definitely need that in my life again.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 2:23 PM on May 1, 2018 [10 favorites]
Because I definitely need that in my life again.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 2:23 PM on May 1, 2018 [10 favorites]
I'm holding out for the Mac version, which will recreate the experience of choosing which model of Mac you want to order from Apple's website.
posted by skymt at 2:23 PM on May 1, 2018 [16 favorites]
posted by skymt at 2:23 PM on May 1, 2018 [16 favorites]
"All of the above to say that people who are constantly tweaking their PCs do it because they like it, the maniacs."
I'm pretty sure that, up until relatively recently, I had more experience with and knowledge about PC hardware and building a PC than even many (most?) people who did this for a living.
When I was packing for my last move six years ago, I was forced to acknowledge how absurd it was that I had an entire bedroom dresser filled with PC components: at least a score of hard drives, old CPUs, a box filled with old RAM, at least five motherboards, numerous PSUs, an elaborate external water-cooling rig, god knows how many heat sinks and fans and cables, trays of stand-off screws, drive and power LEDs, obsolete floppy and optical drives (I bet I still have a tape drive somewhere), jumpers, countless mounting and case screws, drive brackets and facades and rails, far too many obsolete GPUs, sound cards, USB cards and brackets, everything from bookshelf to industrial wheeled cases, my bespoke hardware for building a PC into my desk, a plethora of mice and keyboards, and many other items. I even had some diagnostic cards. Plus several working PCs.
Through most of the 90s, for some compulsive reason I'd do a clean re-install of my OS and software every three or four months.
Now? If I never build another PC or even swap-out a drive, that'll still be too soon. It's just drudgery.
Also, in these nearly three decades, I still haven't learned that optimistically assembling everything and screwimg the case closed without a single POST is like telling fate to fuck off. Fate does not "fuck off". Fate fucks on...you.
Also, this simulation isn't worth a crap if, at least, every other build fails a POST and then, after fiddling with it, passes for no apparent reason.
Also also, you should have the pleasure of choosing to force the wrong thread of screw in a drive mounting (or a card mount!) because Reasons and then later be faced with the consequences. And forever be stepping on stray screws in your carpeting.
"Seriously, fairy lights on the MB, on the RAM, on the GPU, on the heatsink, out the front, out the back. I had no idea that lights were now standard for everything."
God, I hate that crap. And I say that as someone who once built his PC, with associated switches and indicators, into his desk. Every frickin' case has a window. I don't need a window; there's nothing to see! That's when this all started going downhill.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 2:26 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
I'm pretty sure that, up until relatively recently, I had more experience with and knowledge about PC hardware and building a PC than even many (most?) people who did this for a living.
When I was packing for my last move six years ago, I was forced to acknowledge how absurd it was that I had an entire bedroom dresser filled with PC components: at least a score of hard drives, old CPUs, a box filled with old RAM, at least five motherboards, numerous PSUs, an elaborate external water-cooling rig, god knows how many heat sinks and fans and cables, trays of stand-off screws, drive and power LEDs, obsolete floppy and optical drives (I bet I still have a tape drive somewhere), jumpers, countless mounting and case screws, drive brackets and facades and rails, far too many obsolete GPUs, sound cards, USB cards and brackets, everything from bookshelf to industrial wheeled cases, my bespoke hardware for building a PC into my desk, a plethora of mice and keyboards, and many other items. I even had some diagnostic cards. Plus several working PCs.
Through most of the 90s, for some compulsive reason I'd do a clean re-install of my OS and software every three or four months.
Now? If I never build another PC or even swap-out a drive, that'll still be too soon. It's just drudgery.
Also, in these nearly three decades, I still haven't learned that optimistically assembling everything and screwimg the case closed without a single POST is like telling fate to fuck off. Fate does not "fuck off". Fate fucks on...you.
Also, this simulation isn't worth a crap if, at least, every other build fails a POST and then, after fiddling with it, passes for no apparent reason.
Also also, you should have the pleasure of choosing to force the wrong thread of screw in a drive mounting (or a card mount!) because Reasons and then later be faced with the consequences. And forever be stepping on stray screws in your carpeting.
"Seriously, fairy lights on the MB, on the RAM, on the GPU, on the heatsink, out the front, out the back. I had no idea that lights were now standard for everything."
God, I hate that crap. And I say that as someone who once built his PC, with associated switches and indicators, into his desk. Every frickin' case has a window. I don't need a window; there's nothing to see! That's when this all started going downhill.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 2:26 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
As a Mac user, I'd honestly like to try this game, as I will never get the opportunity to build my own PC— despite it seeming like a really cool and fun thing to do.
posted by Quackles at 2:28 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Quackles at 2:28 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm new to this so I have to ask the obvious question: does the PC I build within PC Building Simulator have the specs to run PC Building Simulator? Asking for a friendly deity.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:28 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:28 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
For the part where you have to connect those fiddly little front panel LED connectors to the motherboard that all have to go right next to each other in a space where you can only fit one finger, they should borrow the control scheme from QWOP.
posted by sfenders at 2:30 PM on May 1, 2018 [10 favorites]
posted by sfenders at 2:30 PM on May 1, 2018 [10 favorites]
Indulge me for a moment, you only get to show off your state of the art PC for five minutes before it's out of date. Here's my parts list. Not included is the geforce 1070ex (600$) and the sony bravia 70" 4k screen (1995$). All together I spent about 5000$
It runs very well.
posted by adept256 at 2:30 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
It runs very well.
posted by adept256 at 2:30 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
If we're requesting features for added realism, I've never built a computer without managing to cut myself on the case somehow. Maybe the developers could add a life bar that loses just a tiny lil' sliver with each build.
posted by Monster_Zero at 2:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by Monster_Zero at 2:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [9 favorites]
At some point the decent casemakers started rolling the edges of the cut-outs so that you wouldn't commit accidental suicide while working on your PC. If your PC is an arterial bleeding hazard though, might I recommend some Showa Atlas 370 work gloves? I feel like I recommend these things for everything (maybe I should look into becoming a 🤢 brand ambassador) but seriously they are amazing work gloves and they offer extremely high dexterity while also being quite tough. Like a coat of kevlar paint. I wear 'em every day, they're awesome and cheap. Definitely saved my hands from getting cut up by sheet metal on multiple occasions.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:47 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:47 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
but can you wreck the CPU by tightening the heatsink too much?
I'd especially appreciate a failure mode to arise from this where only specific instructions fail to read the high-order bit of the accumulator when a certain CPU temperature has been reached and my subwoofer plays the intro to "Smoke on the Water".
posted by sydnius at 3:08 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'd especially appreciate a failure mode to arise from this where only specific instructions fail to read the high-order bit of the accumulator when a certain CPU temperature has been reached and my subwoofer plays the intro to "Smoke on the Water".
posted by sydnius at 3:08 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
"I believe it stemmed from Zero Punctuation, where there was some sarcasm in the use, but then got picked up and used unironically."
Naw, it's older than that. I remember it being a common phrase in YCS on SomethingAwful. YCS, Your Console Sucks, was a subforum there dedicated to the FYAD style of ironic shitposting, for people who were not very ironic or clever anymore but still wanted to post like goobers for fun and not get banned in the main games forum. There was a lot of goofuy "console warrior" stuff thrown around and the designated one for PC focused gamer's was the whole PC Master Race thing. I assumed it stemmed from the zealotry some PC Gamers have about the console, that alternatives were inferior and somehow lesser.
Yahtzee was around the forums at those times and when he started ZP, which had it's first episodes published on the SomethingAwful frontpage. I would say it's probably fair to attribute the popularization of the phase to him to do his exposure relative to random posters on a niche shitposting BBS for paid forums.
I also don't think the title has really changed meaning since it's invention either, if anything, it's just that Nazis are back in fashion due to worst timeline culture, plus the monicker has been around long enough to have taken away the punch of it and you just know it to mean PC Gamer.
posted by GoblinHoney at 3:10 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
Naw, it's older than that. I remember it being a common phrase in YCS on SomethingAwful. YCS, Your Console Sucks, was a subforum there dedicated to the FYAD style of ironic shitposting, for people who were not very ironic or clever anymore but still wanted to post like goobers for fun and not get banned in the main games forum. There was a lot of goofuy "console warrior" stuff thrown around and the designated one for PC focused gamer's was the whole PC Master Race thing. I assumed it stemmed from the zealotry some PC Gamers have about the console, that alternatives were inferior and somehow lesser.
Yahtzee was around the forums at those times and when he started ZP, which had it's first episodes published on the SomethingAwful frontpage. I would say it's probably fair to attribute the popularization of the phase to him to do his exposure relative to random posters on a niche shitposting BBS for paid forums.
I also don't think the title has really changed meaning since it's invention either, if anything, it's just that Nazis are back in fashion due to worst timeline culture, plus the monicker has been around long enough to have taken away the punch of it and you just know it to mean PC Gamer.
posted by GoblinHoney at 3:10 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
> As a Mac user, I'd honestly like to try this game, as I will never get the opportunity to build my own PC— despite it seeming like a really cool and fun thing to do.
Oho, allow me to blow your mind, sir or madam. Hackintoshes are apparently still a thing, and getting one to work presents challenges way beyond building a boring game rig. This used to be the definitive site, but it's been a while, ymmv etc.
Either way though, many hours of magic await! Wondering if you chose the precisely right graphics card (and if not, will this just never work?) Finding out why your bootloader config doesn't work with this exact version of macOS! And why is the Darwin port of the freeBSD kernel module you need not loading? The whole experience of building a PC is yours, and more! Yes, so much more.
Seriously though, in a weekend, you can build a system that's every bit as fast as a mac pro, at much less than half the price.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 3:12 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
Oho, allow me to blow your mind, sir or madam. Hackintoshes are apparently still a thing, and getting one to work presents challenges way beyond building a boring game rig. This used to be the definitive site, but it's been a while, ymmv etc.
Either way though, many hours of magic await! Wondering if you chose the precisely right graphics card (and if not, will this just never work?) Finding out why your bootloader config doesn't work with this exact version of macOS! And why is the Darwin port of the freeBSD kernel module you need not loading? The whole experience of building a PC is yours, and more! Yes, so much more.
Seriously though, in a weekend, you can build a system that's every bit as fast as a mac pro, at much less than half the price.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 3:12 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
Can I imagine a Beowulf cluster in this game, or is that a DLC add-on?
posted by delfin at 3:31 PM on May 1, 2018
posted by delfin at 3:31 PM on May 1, 2018
I think the game could very easily lead to a PC master race condition. Like if I played the PC building simulator on a PC that I had not yet finished building.
posted by srboisvert at 3:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 3:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
Also the joy of needing to clear the CMOS while A) not knowing which jumper it is because you don't have manual handy and it's impossible to read the printing on the MB without at least pulling a few cards, B) you can't reach it anyway (without at least pulling a few cards), and, C) if you do know which it is and you can reach it with needle-nose pliers/tweezers/forceps (without at least pulling a few cards), you'll drop the jumper and it will lodge itself underneath an expansion-card slot.
This is assuming you can remove the battery (without at least pulling a few cards) without it popping out, flying through the air, and hiding beneath some furniture.
You'll need to clear the BIOS because it won't POST with the new card you installed.
Okay, sure, UEFI is more robust but you haven't truly experienced the thrill of PC building unless you've wrestled with the BIOS. Definitely this simulation is missing a crucial experience if it doesn't force you to navigate esoteric CMOS settings while you consult, say, a 10,000 word FAQ on memory timings.
There's the joyful experience of bending one or more CPU pins. Or a CPU fan that obstructs your GPU card.
At some point the decent casemakers started rolling the edges of the cut-outs so that you wouldn't commit accidental suicide while working on your PC.
If not a better case, your rotary tool is good for this. And let's talk about glue guns. And placement of case fans and CFM. Can you buy thermal paste with gold in it?
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 3:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
This is assuming you can remove the battery (without at least pulling a few cards) without it popping out, flying through the air, and hiding beneath some furniture.
You'll need to clear the BIOS because it won't POST with the new card you installed.
Okay, sure, UEFI is more robust but you haven't truly experienced the thrill of PC building unless you've wrestled with the BIOS. Definitely this simulation is missing a crucial experience if it doesn't force you to navigate esoteric CMOS settings while you consult, say, a 10,000 word FAQ on memory timings.
There's the joyful experience of bending one or more CPU pins. Or a CPU fan that obstructs your GPU card.
At some point the decent casemakers started rolling the edges of the cut-outs so that you wouldn't commit accidental suicide while working on your PC.
If not a better case, your rotary tool is good for this. And let's talk about glue guns. And placement of case fans and CFM. Can you buy thermal paste with gold in it?
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 3:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
I super DGAF what the computer looks like on the inside. I'd be happy with a beige box. I can see how people can get into it though.
Oh, there are genuinely useful things you get with a good case aside from the looks. Removable panels all around so that it's easier to fit your hands inside while you're putting it together, good places to attach cable-wraps so that you can route the internal cables neatly, edges that won't slice your fingers to ribbons, nice screws with knurled tops so you don't need a screwdriver.
I adore my PC's case. It's just delightful compared to old late 90s-early 00s pre-built computer cases (I still have scars from working on some of those.) And it fits really nicely on top of a desk hutch so I don't have to crawl on the floor to plug things into it, and I don't hit it with the vacuum cleaner. I don't feel that way about any of the components inside (except maybe the power supply, definitely get a power supply with removable cables so you don't have to find a way to tie up all the unused ones.)
posted by asperity at 3:38 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Oh, there are genuinely useful things you get with a good case aside from the looks. Removable panels all around so that it's easier to fit your hands inside while you're putting it together, good places to attach cable-wraps so that you can route the internal cables neatly, edges that won't slice your fingers to ribbons, nice screws with knurled tops so you don't need a screwdriver.
I adore my PC's case. It's just delightful compared to old late 90s-early 00s pre-built computer cases (I still have scars from working on some of those.) And it fits really nicely on top of a desk hutch so I don't have to crawl on the floor to plug things into it, and I don't hit it with the vacuum cleaner. I don't feel that way about any of the components inside (except maybe the power supply, definitely get a power supply with removable cables so you don't have to find a way to tie up all the unused ones.)
posted by asperity at 3:38 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
It also needs a part where you need to find mile long receipts, cut out UPCs from the packaging, download/print/fill out PDF rebate forms, and then mail the whole thing to a rebate company that takes 10-12 weeks to process the mail-in-rebate for a computer part.
And then there should be a chance where you don't get the rebate and you have to call the customer service center. The truly advanced players will have either made copies of their receipts OR saved the form printout confirmation numbers or else they'll have to wander the call-tree forest.
posted by FJT at 3:40 PM on May 1, 2018 [8 favorites]
And then there should be a chance where you don't get the rebate and you have to call the customer service center. The truly advanced players will have either made copies of their receipts OR saved the form printout confirmation numbers or else they'll have to wander the call-tree forest.
posted by FJT at 3:40 PM on May 1, 2018 [8 favorites]
Seriously though, in a weekend, you can build a system that's every bit as fast as a mac pro, at much less than half the price.
As long as the uncertainty of whether you'll still be able to make it run after the next OS upgrade doesn't bother you.
That and Apple hardware tends to be fairly well designed/engineered.
posted by acb at 3:40 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
As long as the uncertainty of whether you'll still be able to make it run after the next OS upgrade doesn't bother you.
That and Apple hardware tends to be fairly well designed/engineered.
posted by acb at 3:40 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
I have had a lifetime of fun building my own pc’s and servers.
I’ll just be over here with a beer watchin y’all.
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:48 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
I’ll just be over here with a beer watchin y’all.
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:48 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
The corsair case I bought (included in this game) solves many of those annoyances people have mentioned. After the last time, this was pretty important to me. Imagine this, after a long build, it's working, last thing to do is slide the side panel on and... BRING ME MY HACKSAW.
posted by adept256 at 3:52 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by adept256 at 3:52 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
"It also needs a part where you need to find mile long receipts, cut out UPCs from the packaging, download/print/fill out PDF rebate forms, and then mail the whole thing to a rebate company that takes 10-12 weeks to process the mail-in-rebate for a computer part."
OH god, I was reorganizing a closet the other day and found a box of "importante documentes" full of paper I could not tell how important it was or not. I did notice a few rebate things in there that I then remembered I had never sent out, which means I'm a liar when I tell people how much my PC cost to build at the time.
posted by GoblinHoney at 3:53 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
OH god, I was reorganizing a closet the other day and found a box of "importante documentes" full of paper I could not tell how important it was or not. I did notice a few rebate things in there that I then remembered I had never sent out, which means I'm a liar when I tell people how much my PC cost to build at the time.
posted by GoblinHoney at 3:53 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Imagine this, after a long build, it's working, last thing to do is slide the side panel on and... BRING ME MY HACKSAW.
I almost ALMOST had this situation when I added my fan, but some how through the grace of some higher power, my side panel flexed enough that it allowed it to slide in. I have a glass slide panel and I have pins just gently resting against the inside glass. It's not warping it in any way but it's a tight fit.
Also, this is your friendly reminder to pick up some compressed air and clear your fans/vents. Your PC needs to breathe, if you cannot recall the last time you cleared dust from your fans or vents, then you probably need to check on that and make sure you're not overheating your PC.
posted by Fizz at 4:12 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I almost ALMOST had this situation when I added my fan, but some how through the grace of some higher power, my side panel flexed enough that it allowed it to slide in. I have a glass slide panel and I have pins just gently resting against the inside glass. It's not warping it in any way but it's a tight fit.
Also, this is your friendly reminder to pick up some compressed air and clear your fans/vents. Your PC needs to breathe, if you cannot recall the last time you cleared dust from your fans or vents, then you probably need to check on that and make sure you're not overheating your PC.
posted by Fizz at 4:12 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
adept256, I definitely remember that a Dremel was a really useful thing to have when building a computer. Plus, sparks! (Ow!) Just make really sure you get all the tiny metal filings cleaned up afterward.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:14 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:14 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Oh, there are genuinely useful things you get with a good case aside from the looks.
I love my Dell workstation. You can strip it down to the bare motherboard without using a single tool. The fans and air guides pop right out for easy cleaning. My favorite detail is the power supply-- it slides out the back, but the latch is blocked by the power cord so you can't remove it while it's plugged in.
I wouldn't say a high-end case is 100% essential, but it's such a nice change from those flimsy pieces of crap that take five tries to line up the little tabs that bend if you look at them too hard.
posted by segfaultxr7 at 4:26 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
I love my Dell workstation. You can strip it down to the bare motherboard without using a single tool. The fans and air guides pop right out for easy cleaning. My favorite detail is the power supply-- it slides out the back, but the latch is blocked by the power cord so you can't remove it while it's plugged in.
I wouldn't say a high-end case is 100% essential, but it's such a nice change from those flimsy pieces of crap that take five tries to line up the little tabs that bend if you look at them too hard.
posted by segfaultxr7 at 4:26 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
I wouldn't say a high-end case is 100% essential, but it's such a nice change
Also...CABLE MANAGEMENT. So much depends upon CABLE MANAGEMENT!!!!
posted by Fizz at 4:36 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Also...CABLE MANAGEMENT. So much depends upon CABLE MANAGEMENT!!!!
posted by Fizz at 4:36 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
But, why? I bought this PSU (again, featured in the game), and the thing comes with a handy draw-string velvet bag, a perfect fit in case you need to carry it around. Which will never happen because now it's in there it will stay there until the end of time. or it explodes like the others, fizz is right about dust
posted by adept256 at 4:39 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by adept256 at 4:39 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Does it simulate being unable to buy a GPU because cryptocurrency?
posted by schmod at 5:09 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by schmod at 5:09 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
> That and Apple hardware tends to be fairly well designed/engineered.
Oh sure, I said as fast. I certainly didn't say as sleek. But macs are made from off-the-shelf chips, and saving $4k on a mac pro is worth a weekend of most people's time, certainly including mine. And afaik once you get it to work, it'll generally make it through OS updates... At least mine did between, I think, snow leopard and yosemite. At which time some kind soul/employer bought me a macbook pro, and I felt the need to wipe my hackintosh and install arch :p
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 5:12 PM on May 1, 2018
Oh sure, I said as fast. I certainly didn't say as sleek. But macs are made from off-the-shelf chips, and saving $4k on a mac pro is worth a weekend of most people's time, certainly including mine. And afaik once you get it to work, it'll generally make it through OS updates... At least mine did between, I think, snow leopard and yosemite. At which time some kind soul/employer bought me a macbook pro, and I felt the need to wipe my hackintosh and install arch :p
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 5:12 PM on May 1, 2018
there don't seem to be any suggestions on how to build PCs if visual graphics processing is not your top priority (mine is actually datacrunching)
It'll depend on what kind of data and what software for crunching. If it's for work, others in your field will know. The thing is that if the tools you're using don't benefit much from more cores (like vanilla R or not-stupid-expensive versions of Stata) then you might as well get a quick 2- or 4-core chip, focusing on a high clock rate. OTOH if it will happily gobble up all the threads you can give it (video editing) then a ryzen 7 seems to be the current go-to.
Before officially not caring about a GPU and either just using the integrated one or getting a random cheap one, you might also want to double-check that your particular kind of data crunching doesn't have GPU acceleration. For things that do, that shit is faaaaaast.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:12 PM on May 1, 2018
It'll depend on what kind of data and what software for crunching. If it's for work, others in your field will know. The thing is that if the tools you're using don't benefit much from more cores (like vanilla R or not-stupid-expensive versions of Stata) then you might as well get a quick 2- or 4-core chip, focusing on a high clock rate. OTOH if it will happily gobble up all the threads you can give it (video editing) then a ryzen 7 seems to be the current go-to.
Before officially not caring about a GPU and either just using the integrated one or getting a random cheap one, you might also want to double-check that your particular kind of data crunching doesn't have GPU acceleration. For things that do, that shit is faaaaaast.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:12 PM on May 1, 2018
Anyway I can report that things have become alot easier since the bad old days. Getting matching Corsair components that're made for each other made everything super obvious and pain free. Almost too easy, I was a bit spooked when it worked first go. Surely I've done something wrong? Nope, it's humming along nicely.
I think since the divergence of office pcs and gaming pcs, and kids asking santa for a new graphics card, some manufacturers have wised up to the fact that they need to simplify things for the hobbyist, so you don't need a college degree to put together one of these things.
So if you've been burnt/sliced/electrocuted/bricked a 500$ cpu before, and you've given up on the whole mess, maybe give this game a go? You'll see it's not so bad anymore.
posted by adept256 at 5:22 PM on May 1, 2018
I think since the divergence of office pcs and gaming pcs, and kids asking santa for a new graphics card, some manufacturers have wised up to the fact that they need to simplify things for the hobbyist, so you don't need a college degree to put together one of these things.
So if you've been burnt/sliced/electrocuted/bricked a 500$ cpu before, and you've given up on the whole mess, maybe give this game a go? You'll see it's not so bad anymore.
posted by adept256 at 5:22 PM on May 1, 2018
The draw-string velvet bag is for keeping your d20s in, obviously.
If you're not a Crown Royal drinker, anyway.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:34 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
If you're not a Crown Royal drinker, anyway.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:34 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
At some point the decent casemakers started rolling the edges of the cut-outs so that you wouldn't commit accidental suicide while working on your PC.
Yeah no, the whole thing was, if you didn't bleed, it didn't work. I mean, it's this …
Do they include the part where the fucking thing NEVER works the first time you turn it on, and then you spend like 6 hours fiddling with BIOS settings and switching cards to different slots, and searching online for the meaning of strange beep patterns, and in the end, just when you think you fried some random chip by just ONCE putting some stupid thing down on the wrong stupid surface for a second... just then it infuriatingly starts working perfectly in the EXACT SAME configuration you had in the first place?
… but it's not really the EXACT SAME configuration, because there's a little bit of your blood in there.
Tool free cases without sharp edges just aren't the same, man.
posted by fedward at 6:15 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
Yeah no, the whole thing was, if you didn't bleed, it didn't work. I mean, it's this …
Do they include the part where the fucking thing NEVER works the first time you turn it on, and then you spend like 6 hours fiddling with BIOS settings and switching cards to different slots, and searching online for the meaning of strange beep patterns, and in the end, just when you think you fried some random chip by just ONCE putting some stupid thing down on the wrong stupid surface for a second... just then it infuriatingly starts working perfectly in the EXACT SAME configuration you had in the first place?
… but it's not really the EXACT SAME configuration, because there's a little bit of your blood in there.
Tool free cases without sharp edges just aren't the same, man.
posted by fedward at 6:15 PM on May 1, 2018 [6 favorites]
I imagine the final score to be based on how much the player has made reselling all the ECC RAM they've accumulated on Ebay.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:18 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:18 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
So much depends upon CABLE MANAGEMENT!!!!
So much depends
upon
cable
management
glazed with thermal
paste
beside the fast
SSD
posted by fedward at 6:20 PM on May 1, 2018 [13 favorites]
So much depends
upon
cable
management
glazed with thermal
paste
beside the fast
SSD
posted by fedward at 6:20 PM on May 1, 2018 [13 favorites]
Has no one really mentioned dropping the very last screw that against all odds makes it way through everything and wedges between the motherboard and the case?
posted by bongo_x at 6:42 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by bongo_x at 6:42 PM on May 1, 2018 [7 favorites]
My favorite months that I hope are included:
Freaking out when you try and turn on your machine, hitting the power button only to remember you hit the I/0 switch on the PSU so of course there's no power.
Buying a new GPU cause it's new on you have a gift card, only to realize you need to get a motherboard that can run it as you go your research after having hit buy. Then once everything had been delivered and you've started building the new machine, having replaced the motherboard, finding out that the new GPU is just an inch or two too long for your case.
posted by Carillon at 8:22 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Freaking out when you try and turn on your machine, hitting the power button only to remember you hit the I/0 switch on the PSU so of course there's no power.
Buying a new GPU cause it's new on you have a gift card, only to realize you need to get a motherboard that can run it as you go your research after having hit buy. Then once everything had been delivered and you've started building the new machine, having replaced the motherboard, finding out that the new GPU is just an inch or two too long for your case.
posted by Carillon at 8:22 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm a software guy, all my mates are hardware guys. Occasionally they offload useful spare parts on me (either too good for eBay or too worthless for eBay). That's pretty decent of them and frankly I really dig the whole LEGO-y generic zlotty slotty PC concept. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is "Grah!" and "Should I rewire this?" and "Do I smell ozone?" and "Well, it boots right up until it doesn't!" and "Maybe a different motherboard or PSU?" and "What if I tried wiring it up wrongly deliberately in case I'm so thick I've been doing the opposite of what's intended?" and "Perhaps violence is the answer?"
I guess the game could be fun. Recently I've been thinking about buying myself a laptop.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:45 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I guess the game could be fun. Recently I've been thinking about buying myself a laptop.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 8:45 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Windows XP: I'ma need your storage drivers for installation. On a 3.5" floppy.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 9:30 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 9:30 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Oh boy, just finished playing the real-life version of this game. Wonder if they'll include the super fun Easter egg I discovered. It's right at the end of the game, after you've finished assembling everything. You go to turn the computer on for the first time, and when you push the power button it immediately comes loose and wedges itself inside a part of the case you cannot access. This effectively warps you back to Level 1, where you have to start over again with a new case. Fun!
Then there's The Riddle of the Bricked Box, where you have to figure out why your computer suddenly turned off and is now completely unresponsive. To solve this riddle, you first have to return the PCU and swap it out for a new one. This won't solve the problem, but it will lead you to the next step, which is swapping out the motherboard. This won't solve the problem either. Eventually, through fiddling, you'll discover the answer: it was a poorly-manufactured PCIe cable shorting out your power supply. HAHAHA it was just a dumb cable the whole time! HAHAHA so hilarious I'm going to kill everything.
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:02 PM on May 1, 2018 [9 favorites]
Then there's The Riddle of the Bricked Box, where you have to figure out why your computer suddenly turned off and is now completely unresponsive. To solve this riddle, you first have to return the PCU and swap it out for a new one. This won't solve the problem, but it will lead you to the next step, which is swapping out the motherboard. This won't solve the problem either. Eventually, through fiddling, you'll discover the answer: it was a poorly-manufactured PCIe cable shorting out your power supply. HAHAHA it was just a dumb cable the whole time! HAHAHA so hilarious I'm going to kill everything.
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:02 PM on May 1, 2018 [9 favorites]
dephlogisticated;
They're called "quests". Jeez.
posted by bongo_x at 10:21 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
They're called "quests". Jeez.
posted by bongo_x at 10:21 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
I wanted to write about how this is the most ridiculous, pointless thing I've ever seen, but I don't have time. I've got to fire up my Dreamcast and go to work moving these boxes with a forklift.
posted by bongo_x at 10:24 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by bongo_x at 10:24 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
I'm writing this on the first and only PC I've ever built from components. I had a pretty tight budget and so only bought very mid-range, well known, non-cutting edge stuff. So I didn't have any problems and it was incredibly satisfying to put it together and have it work. And the list of great games it is still plenty powerful to run that I haven't played yet is still pretty long and not going to run out anytime soon.
This PC Building Sim thing though is crazy nonsense. And I highly approve.
posted by straight at 11:15 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
This PC Building Sim thing though is crazy nonsense. And I highly approve.
posted by straight at 11:15 PM on May 1, 2018 [3 favorites]
As a person who was building PCs as early as about '96, I can say without a doubt that it's much, much easier today. I don't mean that in a bad way (screw elitism); just, it's kinda shocking to me how things that used to be like, DIY and custom fabrication required (e.g. water cooling) are now just like, oh yeah there's off the shelf parts and a standard bracket for that.
I built a PC like 1.5 years ago and the only hard part was the motherboard color-coded the RAM slots in a way that induced me to put my 2 sticks in the wrong 2 (of 4) slots, and it took a bit of research (read: pulling parts out one at a time till the machine would boot) to figure that out.
posted by tocts at 5:28 AM on May 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
I built a PC like 1.5 years ago and the only hard part was the motherboard color-coded the RAM slots in a way that induced me to put my 2 sticks in the wrong 2 (of 4) slots, and it took a bit of research (read: pulling parts out one at a time till the machine would boot) to figure that out.
posted by tocts at 5:28 AM on May 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
It's true. Case, power supply, motherboard, CPU, heatsink/fan, RAM, SSD, and you're done. The only part that isn't plug-n-play is smearing a thin, even layer of thermal paste on the CPU for the heatsink. I used to do weird things to reduce noise like elastically suspend the hard drive, but it's really, really easy to build a quiet PC these days. Or a dead silent one with a low TDP CPU.
posted by Zed at 6:39 AM on May 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Zed at 6:39 AM on May 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
bricked a 500$ cpu before
that was a sad day(s) for me.
Yes there was more than one.
No I don’t wanna talk about it.
posted by Annika Cicada at 6:49 AM on May 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
that was a sad day(s) for me.
Yes there was more than one.
No I don’t wanna talk about it.
posted by Annika Cicada at 6:49 AM on May 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
Don't forget to terminate the SCSI bus...
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 6:57 AM on May 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 6:57 AM on May 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
Does it simulate 'only boots when laying down' builds? :) When because some poor tolerance isn't quite right between the motherboard's pcie slot, case and graphics card, your computer will only seemingly boot when it's laying on it's side and only after randomly jiggling the gfx card.
posted by Static Vagabond at 8:32 AM on May 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Static Vagabond at 8:32 AM on May 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
I once was given an Intel Above Board with 2 MB, which was an early 8086 proprietary expanded memory card. I was determined to get that thing working in my 486, so I hacked the Linux kernel (1.0?) to try to make it use it as cache memory. I'm not sure if I succeeded.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:13 AM on May 2, 2018
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:13 AM on May 2, 2018
In about 1990 I bought a new VGA card for my 286 PC and shortly after decided to upgrade its memory and get the capacity to do 1024x768 at 256 colors. At the time, you did this by buying loose RAM chips and slotting them into their appropriate slots. Not DIMMs. The individual chips on the DIMM.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:17 AM on May 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:17 AM on May 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
I remember something similar circa 1993 so I could run SimCity 2000 on my computer. Or, rather, we called some poor tech support guy to do a house call and figure out why SimCity 2000 wasn't running and he did it for us. A few years later, I did get around to figuring out how to fuss around inside computer cases on my own, just in time for the 3D accelerator era.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:48 AM on May 2, 2018
posted by tobascodagama at 11:48 AM on May 2, 2018
I've been reading this thread and laughing hysterically, for I have experienced SO MUCH of what you guys describe.
Thanks for the laughs. Need them today.
posted by Thistledown at 4:21 PM on May 2, 2018
Thanks for the laughs. Need them today.
posted by Thistledown at 4:21 PM on May 2, 2018
The individual chips on the DIMM.
Heh. My first ever upgrade on my 386 I clean busted off a couple of pins on a couple of chips and remember sticking some random bit of metal flash into the empty socket and bending it to touch the pin stub.
It booted and recognized all of the new memory on the first go.
Those plastic strips/ sleeves that the chipsets used to come in were fascinating.
posted by porpoise at 6:36 PM on May 2, 2018
Heh. My first ever upgrade on my 386 I clean busted off a couple of pins on a couple of chips and remember sticking some random bit of metal flash into the empty socket and bending it to touch the pin stub.
It booted and recognized all of the new memory on the first go.
Those plastic strips/ sleeves that the chipsets used to come in were fascinating.
posted by porpoise at 6:36 PM on May 2, 2018
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posted by Fizz at 12:31 PM on May 1, 2018