Operation Bananas Scam
May 10, 2018 10:48 AM   Subscribe

When my roommate was out of town I ate his bananas, so I decided to carve realistic fake bananas out of wood
posted by aubilenon (70 comments total) 82 users marked this as a favorite
 
I am eating a banana right now and using it for reference. Their carved bananas look REALLY good!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:51 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


I think my favorite part is that he clearly went and bought more bananas to model the scam bananas on after he ate the original bananas
posted by little cow make small moo at 10:52 AM on May 10 [81 favorites]


First comment on the imgur page pretty much says all that needs to be said:

This is the dumbest, stupidest, colossal waste of time thing that I’ve ever completely loved with all my heart and admiration.
posted by Naberius at 10:52 AM on May 10 [72 favorites]


It's nice that he recreated them at the absolute best stage of ripeness - just starting to get brown on the edges.
posted by gyusan at 10:52 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


MetaFilter: This is the dumbest, stupidest, colossal waste of time thing that I’ve ever completely loved with all my heart and admiration.
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:53 AM on May 10 [65 favorites]


That my fellow MeFites, that is ART.
posted by mikelieman at 10:59 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


He could have used a 3D banana printer.
posted by lagomorphius at 11:00 AM on May 10 [2 favorites]


This is awesome and also I find it bizarre that there is apparently a whole community of people who use Imgur as a full-blown social network rather than just a throwaway image hosting service.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:02 AM on May 10 [26 favorites]


My favorite part is that he got the hardware store to paint-match a piece of completely brown banana skin - and they did an incredible job.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:02 AM on May 10 [35 favorites]


I love this so much. I fell into a fit of giggles when he took the banana skin swatch to get a paint match.
posted by kimberussell at 11:06 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


Yeah, color science is amazing! They basically use a spectrophotometer to measure the color of the paint chip (or old banana peel) and then there's a whole reference library that translates the results into whatever combination of pigment is needed to replicate that color in paint. It's all pretty well dialed-in and it's really neat. A lot of work goes into making that process work effectively.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:08 AM on May 10 [18 favorites]


....Am I the only one who is slightly annoyed on his roommate's behalf that he ate the dude's food and did this instead of replacing it?

My current roommate is fantastic, but others in the past have been less so
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


My favorite part is that he got the hardware store to paint-match a piece of completely brown banana skin - and they did an incredible job.

ME TOO. That and the way the whole thing is described so matter-of-fact-ly. "I cut out a piece of a banana peel and took it to the hardware store to have them paint match the banana color for me. This worked very well, and the paint sample was only $3." And then "Because the yellow worked so well, I took a brown piece of banana peel to the store and had them paint match that also." Like any part of that is the most natural thing in the world.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:18 AM on May 10 [26 favorites]


My favorite part is that he got the hardware store to paint-match a piece of completely brown banana skin - and they did an incredible job.

Yeah, that was pretty amazing. The paint in the can looked close but maybe too yellow, but once it was actually painted in the wood banana... it was perfect. The amazingly perfect colour is really what sold it.
posted by GuyZero at 11:20 AM on May 10 [1 favorite]


"This is awesome and also I find it bizarre that there is apparently a whole community of people who use Imgur as a full-blown social network rather than just a throwaway image hosting service."

In another sense, it's bizarre people shun the community of the place they get their images and content from in lieu of having satellite communities.
posted by GoblinHoney at 11:21 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


At this point, the bananas are looking pretty real, and approaching the uncanny valley.

This could be the first sentence of a terrific short story.
posted by Bob Regular at 11:21 AM on May 10 [41 favorites]


If Ron Swanson ate fruit, I could see him doing something like this
posted by mlo at 11:28 AM on May 10 [17 favorites]


....Am I the only one who is slightly annoyed on his roommate's behalf that he ate the dude's food and did this instead of replacing it?

I think he did both -- he bought new bananas ("The first step was to trace some real bananas onto wood... Then I removed the stickers from the real bananas and placed them on parchment paper, to save them for later") for the project.
posted by Iris Gambol at 11:29 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


Is this the new politics thread?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:31 AM on May 10 [49 favorites]


And if you watch the video his roommate even comments that he meant to tell him to eat the bananas while he was gone. I mean, they were going to become mush or bread in a week anyway, right?
posted by Kyol at 11:32 AM on May 10 [10 favorites]


Am I the only one who is slightly annoyed on his roommate's behalf that he ate the dude's food and did this instead of replacing it?

They were ripe enough to eat at the beginning of the week. And indeed the roommate looked surprised to see they were still okay, and afterwards said "oh yeah, I meant to tell you to eat those". If I leave perishable food out, you're doing me a favor by eating it before it turns awful.

Plus, as Iris Gambol points out, he might still have the reference bananas handy. Bananandy.
posted by aubilenon at 11:32 AM on May 10 [15 favorites]


Best comment: Now you can keep them in your car or bag for emergency scale photos.
posted by Iris Gambol at 11:32 AM on May 10 [28 favorites]


File under: "Cruel jokes to play on Minions."
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 11:35 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


Good thing he didn't eat his roommate's Jell-O. Much harder to reproduce in wood.
posted by xingcat at 11:36 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


File under: "Cruel jokes to play on Minions."

Free bananas in the kitchen!!!
posted by aubilenon at 11:37 AM on May 10 [11 favorites]


I mean worst case scenario he owed his roommate $1.39 for some new bananas.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:37 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


This is the kind of woodworking I love. Sure he could have made a chair or a table, but why? Make bananas instead!
posted by elsietheeel at 11:38 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


This feels like an elaborate trap to destroy Griffin McElroy's teeth.
posted by kmz at 11:39 AM on May 10 [10 favorites]


Dude pulled a real William Carlos Williams
posted by The Gaffer at 11:39 AM on May 10 [46 favorites]


I love this, and if I get any of you as my secret Quonsar next year, you're getting some fake fucking bananas.
posted by bondcliff at 11:40 AM on May 10 [38 favorites]


If Ron Swanson ate fruit, I could see him doing something like this

In my head, I heard the entire narrative in Ron Swanson's voice.

(I figured he'd respect the hell out of the craftsmanship but be appalled by the waste of time--although maybe not even the latter, since the guy didn't work for the government and therefore was free to do whatever he wanted with his time.)
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:42 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


....Am I the only one who is slightly annoyed on his roommate's behalf that he ate the dude's food and did this instead of replacing it?

If given the choice, I would take these awesome wooden bananas in trade for my bunch of ripe bananas. Any time.
posted by jeather at 11:44 AM on May 10 [5 favorites]


I love everything about this.

Also, because it's banana-related and I might not get another opportunity to post it to MeFi:
the best slip-on-a-banana-peel pratfall I've ever seen [Twitter link]
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:46 AM on May 10 [3 favorites]


“I ate your bananas and I spent all week carving realistic bananas out of wood” — that’s love.
posted by roger ackroyd at 11:47 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


I'm glad I live alone, because I would be, like, homicidally angry if I had a roommate who ever filmed me for an Internet surprise reaction video, for any reason.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 11:47 AM on May 10 [6 favorites]


I assume he asked permission before actually posting said reaction video. I mean, that's what I'd do.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:51 AM on May 10 [4 favorites]


They were ripe enough to eat at the beginning of the week. And indeed the roommate looked surprised to see they were still okay, and afterwards said "oh yeah, I meant to tell you to eat those".

Very good. All is well.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:05 PM on May 10 [7 favorites]


It was only while looking at these pictures that I realized the Borderlands art style was probably inspired by bananas.
posted by yath at 12:07 PM on May 10 [6 favorites]


i'm sad that he didn't mention whatever it was he was procrastinating so hard that he decided to make fake wooden bananas
posted by poffin boffin at 12:19 PM on May 10 [66 favorites]


Ce n'est pas une banane.
posted by 4ster at 12:32 PM on May 10 [4 favorites]


This is just to say

I have eaten
the bananas
that were on
the counter

and which
you probably had
forgot
to throw out

Forgive me
and please accept
these sweet
wooden replicas
posted by cardboard at 12:36 PM on May 10 [56 favorites]


Scroll slowly and see.
posted by davebush at 12:56 PM on May 10 [3 favorites]


This is the best fake news all day
posted by Burhanistan at 12:57 PM on May 10 [1 favorite]


Whoa Black Betty

Bananas Scam
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:00 PM on May 10 [34 favorites]


I feel honored to have my comment favorited by I_Love_Bananas.
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:08 PM on May 10 [3 favorites]


When I had roommates I was always thrilled when they ate something that would have gone bad if not consumed. Leftovers, produce, etc. If it's going be nasty tomorrow, PLEASE, eat it today!
posted by elizilla at 1:25 PM on May 10


I love stuff like this, and I envy people with this level of patience.

I read a lot of fabrication blogs because I like watching how puppets are made. I've wanted a banana puppet for some time (to go with my monkey puppet). I think I am going to have to rate the bar of realism now!
posted by cjorgensen at 1:26 PM on May 10 [1 favorite]


....Am I the only one who is slightly annoyed on his roommate's behalf that he ate the dude's food and did this instead of replacing it?

Can I just say this is an example of my favorite variety of practical joke. Nobody gets hurt, nobody gets embarrassed or inconvenienced. The joke is really on the joker, not the victim, because the joke is the ridiculous amount of time and effort they expended to do a very dumb thing just to see the expression on the victim's face when they realize how much time and effort they expended to do a very dumb thing.

Also, those bananas are a legit work of art and I'm very impressed.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:28 PM on May 10 [55 favorites]


I am home sick and this is exactly what I needed to cheer me up. Never let anyone tell you shop class is a waste of time!
posted by eirias at 1:39 PM on May 10 [1 favorite]


I can't be the only one who really wants a bunch of those fake bananas now, right?
posted by sarcasticah at 1:43 PM on May 10 [2 favorites]


There's always money in the banana sham.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 1:45 PM on May 10 [27 favorites]


It's nice that he recreated them at the absolute best stage of ripeness - just starting to get brown on the edges.
posted by gyusan


If I may, the absolute best stage of ripeness is when they are a solid brown/black and then made into banana bread.
posted by Splunge at 1:47 PM on May 10 [4 favorites]


I think my favorite part is that he clearly went and bought more bananas to model the scam bananas on after he ate the original bananas

But this way he gets to have his bananas and eat them, too!
posted by straight at 1:58 PM on May 10 [3 favorites]


From the reaction vid:

“I was going to tell you to eat ‘em before I left”
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 2:52 PM on May 10 [1 favorite]


Sorry, but those wooden bananas simply aren’t appealing.
posted by chavenet at 3:09 PM on May 10 [6 favorites]


Never let anyone tell you shop class is a waste of time!

I admire the finished product as much as everyone else, but wooden bananas aren't exactly convincing me that shop class isn't a waste of time.
posted by saysthis at 3:26 PM on May 10 [2 favorites]


> i'm sad that he didn't mention whatever it was he was procrastinating so hard that he decided to make fake wooden bananas

I like to think it was "buying replacement bananas" but he got so invested in making them that he went out to buy some more to fully commit to his procrastination
posted by boo_radley at 4:49 PM on May 10


Ring
ring
ring
ring
ring
ring
ring
ring
banana scam
posted by Chrysostom at 7:32 PM on May 10 [10 favorites]


This is bananas.
posted by hijinx at 8:05 PM on May 10 [1 favorite]


The glue has been applied and dried on the leftmost banana.

Indeed.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:06 PM on May 10 [2 favorites]


the leftmost banana

I read that as if it was part of Donovan's song "Mellow Yellow":

Ooh the leftmost ba-na-na
Is gonna be a sudden craze
(waa waa waaaa)
Ooh the leftmost banana
Is bound to be the very next phase...
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:40 PM on May 10 [4 favorites]


Ooh the leftmost ba-na-na

In retrospect, it should have been "Glue the leftmost banana". Oh well.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:48 PM on May 10


I see a whole bunch of problems here.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:33 AM on May 11 [3 favorites]


He uses more tools to make these fake bananas than I would have expected. Do all woodworkers have separate saws for each angle and joint of the fruit?
posted by rollick at 4:51 AM on May 11


All fruit woodworkers do, yes.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:50 AM on May 11 [3 favorites]


Team "barely perceptible touch o' green on the banana is peak ripeness" here, but otherwise top-shelf work, really.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:57 PM on May 11 [4 favorites]


His roommate should take them back to the grocery store: “These bananas taste like wood”
posted by gottabefunky at 6:36 PM on May 11 [2 favorites]


Anything's a dildo if it has appeal.
posted by bendy at 9:34 PM on May 11


This is bananas.
posted by hijinx


Hello.
posted by Splunge at 3:34 PM on May 12


You know, this story and Donkey Kong 64 made me realise that bananas are the only thing that Mother Nature has ever created that is literally a videogame 3D polygon. Like if you'd never seen a proper IRL banana and somebody showed you a picture of a real banana on their tablet, you'd be like, hey, nice SketchUp model, SketchUp intermediate! And I find that funny because of the old story where creationists say God is real because a banana is perfectly designed to fit in a human hand and be eaten and has its own wrapper and stuff, because, yeah, maybe, if you're god-damned Nathan Drake or Bayonetta!
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:51 PM on May 16 [1 favorite]


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