But how will we rank our worth as human beings?

May 11, 2018 11:36 AM

Klout, the once-ubiquitous con social ranking service, is shutting down. The "Klout Score," which the service generated by running a person's social media presence through some type of vague algorithm, helped spawn a legion of “social media gurus” and “influencers" in the early 20teens. Despite the fact that the rankings were "socially evil" and its methodology bullshit, Klout claimed about 100 million users at its peak. It's unknown what Klout's parent company will be doing with all that data.
posted by not_the_water (42 comments total)

It's no surprise they're closing shop the day the General Data Protection Regulation becomes law in the EU.

Stelletje kloutzakken.

I never saw the use of it to be honest.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:40 AM on May 11, 2018 [10 favorites]

It has been noted that Klout is shutting on down on GDPR day.
posted by infini at 11:41 AM on May 11, 2018

On preview, preview more often.
posted by infini at 11:41 AM on May 11, 2018 [13 favorites]

The Twitter account @ProfJeffJarviss is sad.
posted by JamesBay at 11:41 AM on May 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

I give this post 5 MeowMeowBeenz™.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 11:45 AM on May 11, 2018 [47 favorites]

To answer the title, credit bureaus still exist, so I guess we'll just keep using those.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:50 AM on May 11, 2018 [11 favorites]

But how will we rank our worth as human beings?
Isn't that what "Favorited by others" is for?
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:07 PM on May 11, 2018 [14 favorites]

Don't worry, everyone. I'm sure that someone will relaunch Klout on the blockchain any minute now. (Fun fact: Etherium is in fact blockchain Flooz!)
posted by phooky at 12:12 PM on May 11, 2018 [8 favorites]

tobascodagama: "To answer the title, credit bureaus still exist, so I guess we'll just keep using those."

I use knowledge of MST3K episodes as my ranking criterion.
posted by Chrysostom at 12:17 PM on May 11, 2018 [5 favorites]

I use knowledge of MST3K episodes as my ranking criterion.

"Johnny realizes what a lie his life has been."

Now, me, men would pay $200 for me, and here you are turning down a freebie. You could get a perfectly good dishwasher for that.

Ah, excuse. That's Klute.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:36 PM on May 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

This means that all existing Influencers and Thought Leaders will disintegrate into nothingness Infinity Gauntlet-style, right?
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:07 PM on May 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

Never heard of it, and now it's gone? This means that even with all that time I spend absorbing the internet I miss a great phenomenon like this? What is my nostalgia supposed to feed on in 15 years time? At least facebook got me to visit Iran in 2009.
posted by Laotic at 1:31 PM on May 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Oh no! My meaningless internet points!
posted by SansPoint at 1:35 PM on May 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

Klout Klout
Internet tout
These are the points we can do without

So long
Outlawed in EU
So wrong
Selling data is through
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:51 PM on May 11, 2018 [12 favorites]

I still believe in ranking my worth the old fashion way, by how much surplus value I can capture from other human beings, and how much wealth I can extract from the commons.
posted by mondo dentro at 1:52 PM on May 11, 2018 [16 favorites]

I had seen a few references to Klout here and there in recent weeks and without digging further surmised that it was probably a fictional service from a Black Mirror episode that I vaguely remembered. Then I saw this post and was startled to learn that Klout is/was a real thing! My goodness I feel out of touch.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 1:59 PM on May 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

What will beanplating Voyager episodes get me? (Besides a lifetime supply of leola root.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:30 PM on May 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

What will beanplating Voyager episodes get me?

Perhaps some "clout" in a Roko's basilisk type scenario when photonic beings take over? If you play your cards right you could be character in a holonovel or foreman at a dilithium mine?
posted by Ashwagandha at 3:19 PM on May 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

I got in a stupid-photoshop fight with mathowie yesterday on the subject and i still feel like I won.
posted by cortex at 3:31 PM on May 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

My Klout score was probably negative.
posted by kevinbelt at 3:43 PM on May 11, 2018

Looking at the apps thingy in Twitter, I apparently allowed access around six years ago. And "around six" is the number of times I probably checked the service. I recall it being "a thing" for a while around then, but then because not everyone is an obsessed #influencer it kinda died down except on those circle(jerks?).

I'm guessing that when Twitter started offering better stats, people lost interest in these kind of services.
posted by lmfsilva at 4:04 PM on May 11, 2018

This news was such a trip down memory lane.

My claim to fame during this time was appearing on ABC Nightline for an overheard quote "I don't date girls with Klout scores under 70"... She was joking about a potential absurd outcome of this all.

Anyways, is it just me or do people think crypto is going to save the world like how some of us thought social media was going to save the world?
posted by RichAndCreamy at 4:33 PM on May 11, 2018

> I got in a stupid-photoshop fight with mathowie yesterday on the subject and i still feel like I won.
Control in New York is signalling disqualification-for-triggering; alignment.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 4:41 PM on May 11, 2018

let's discuss this at the next tweetup.
posted by randomkeystrike at 5:37 PM on May 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

But how will we rank our worth as human beings?

Worthington's Law has you covered.
posted by duffell at 5:42 PM on May 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Well, at least we've averted a Grim Whuffie Future.

For a while.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:48 PM on May 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

What will beanplating Voyager episodes get me?

I can't speak directly to scoring that, but it's leaving me with this urge to think up a joke about this being why Facebook features an incoherent timeline and poor characterization of friends and family.
posted by mordax at 5:50 PM on May 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

Relevant XKCD.
posted by Hatashran at 5:57 PM on May 11, 2018 [5 favorites]

I'm proud to say I was talking about how awful Klout was back in 2011. I'm a small part of why they had an opt-out feature for individuals, well me and a threatened class action of children whose parents never consented. They never had anything like 100 million users; they had 100 million products.
posted by Nelson at 6:18 PM on May 11, 2018 [4 favorites]

I got in a stupid-photoshop fight with mathowie yesterday on the subject and i still feel like I won.

Shiny Happy People has never been more relevant.
posted by traveler_ at 7:05 PM on May 11, 2018

Control in New York is signalling disqualification-for-triggering; alignment.

I felt it served the feeling of the whole thing better to just conspicuously prepend than to neaten up the centering afterward, but I acknowledge that it's an essentially hostile aesthetic choice on my part.
posted by cortex at 7:58 PM on May 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Also: MeFi thread from 2010. I was a 27, back then. I'm not sure I can bear to log back in and find out what I am in these waning days.
posted by cortex at 8:00 PM on May 11, 2018

Anyways, is it just me or do people think crypto is going to save the world like how some of us thought social media was going to save the world?

I work in librarianship and have literally been in meetings where someone asks “so how are we going to meaningfully deal with public disinvestment and too few people doing too much work?” And the response has been “automating as much as possible and block chain”
posted by mostly vowels at 9:06 PM on May 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm proud to say I was talking about how awful Klout was back in 2011.

You weren’t alone. I worked in tech journalism back then. There was a sizable minority that saw Klout as an incredible scam. I was gloating so hard over this news that this was almost a self-post.
posted by not_the_water at 9:33 PM on May 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Their HQ was a few doors down the street from my old office, and walking by one couldn't help notice that their office was like a 'model home' for how to piss away VC money on inane office fixtures and other luxuries before you have proven your business model. Best part: they had a giant stuffed buffalo in the street-facing lobby - it will forever amaze me that said VCs didn't get the metaphor of having a nearly extinct creature as your investment's mascot...
posted by PhineasGage at 10:06 PM on May 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Will this thread be derailed if we enter into a conversation about the impact and outcomes of GDPR? I've been getting emails and headsups and blaring banners everywhere I turn on the interwebz from over here in the EU.

or should we make an FPP ?
posted by infini at 1:39 AM on May 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

they had a giant stuffed buffalo in the street-facing lobby - it will forever amaze me that said VCs didn't get the metaphor of having a nearly extinct creature as your investment's mascot

...a nearly extinct creature whose main output is bullshit.
posted by flabdablet at 3:14 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Whose flesh is edible. #eattherich
posted by tobascodagama at 5:56 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

FYI you can still opt out at any time and then they just keep the minimum viable amount of info on you. I remember waaaay back in the day when there were actual things you got for having an account and being an "influencer" (gift cards, advanced peeks at shows, I can't remember what else) and it's been a long time since any of that has been true. I was wondering why everyone was suddenly mentioning a basically-dead site and now I know.

Does anyone else feel like lithium is a really weird thing to call a company?
posted by jessamyn at 8:08 AM on May 12, 2018

Is it a deep hint as a medication reminder for the founding team?
posted by infini at 8:50 AM on May 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

Maybe they like 90s alternative.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:05 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

China still has their own Klout, though, right? I would hate for this dystopian future to be entirely torn away from us by that darned EU and their good privacy laws.
posted by graventy at 10:29 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]