Pre-Budget Snacks

May 18, 2018 12:02 AM

Yesterday, in the high-stakes world of NZ Politics, the new Labour governments finance minister, Grant Robertson, broke from the long-held tradition of his predecessor, Bill English, by opting for the Cheese Roll instead of the Meat Pie as the years budget is released to the public. The Cheese Roll is often considered to be a Southern NZ snack staple - however its origin is contested. In the taxonomy of melted-cheese foodstuffs, the Cheese Roll is related to Welsh Rarebit. For those wishing to recreate the humble dish, there are a few cheese-roll recipes out there in the wild with the ingredients readily available in Kiwi pantries; however the onion soup mix is often considered to be crucial.
posted by phigmov (22 comments total)

God defend New Zealand.

No, really.
posted by prismatic7 at 12:11 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

There is no meat pie in New Zealand!
There are no sausage rolls on our farms!
There is no meat pie in New Zealand.
We can all keep perfectly calm.

Everybody's talking about World War 3,
But we're as safe as safe can be, there's no unrest in this country
We have no lamingtons
We have no pineapple lumps
We have no L&P
We have no chip butties! chip butties! no, no
posted by supercrayon at 1:39 AM on May 18, 2018 [7 favorites]

I believe you are referring to "Southland Sushi".
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 2:26 AM on May 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

I think Grant would appreciate that, supercrayon, even if he is more of a Dunedin Sound guy than a Blams man.
posted by Pink Frost at 3:18 AM on May 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

A little sodium citrate would make those AMAZING.
posted by Samizdata at 4:03 AM on May 18, 2018

Oh damn how the strangest things make me miss living in NZ.
posted by dazed_one at 4:03 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

> I believe you are referring to "Southland Sushi".

Also referred to as "Southern Sushi" in the Guardian piece. Which boggles me because that looks more like a puffy taquito or (since my eyes are bad) enchilada than anything else, although by description it most closely resembles a West Virginia pepperoni roll, albeit in miniature and with different seasonings because there's no pepperoni.
posted by ardgedee at 4:12 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Just as I hit 'submit' Grant Robertson did a small news-item demonstrating his cheese-roll making technique in person (in the Prime Ministers kitchen apparently). Hopefully it will play outside NZ through Facebook video. Skip forward 60sec to get past the news-presenter fluff.
posted by phigmov at 4:24 AM on May 18, 2018 [5 favorites]

One World Government Now!

Jacinda in charge!
posted by Combat Wombat at 4:27 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Wait till NZ discovers quesadillas.

I just watched phigmov's video link and that cheese mixture made me think of pimento cheese, except with onion soup mix instead of pimentos.
posted by needled at 4:56 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Also, this is a classic use of onion soup powder: Traditional Kiwi Onion Dip (kiwi as in NZer, not the fruit or bird)
posted by Kiwi at 5:15 AM on May 18, 2018

Not that kiwi is a fruit.
posted by Kiwi at 5:16 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

I just watched phigmov's video link and that cheese mixture made me think of pimento cheese

Good point!

Dear New Zealand:

As a longtime resident of the southern part of the United States, who has inherited at least four family recipes for pimiento cheese (with various regional variants) AND has spent some portion of her adult life collecting even more, I would be happy to serve as a pimiento cheese ambassador. I have already been known to travel with a jar of pimientos just in case emergency pimiento cheese becomes necessary even/especially in another hemisphere. Thank you for your consideration.
posted by thivaia at 6:03 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

I realize New Zealand is a real place filled with flawed and complicated humans. But, at least as an occasional tourist viewing things from far away, everything that happens in the country - even terribly important things that shape government priorities and impact millions of lives - is unreservedly adorable. I can't tell whether it's just 'cause I don't see all the ugly bits, or whether everyone in NZ is genuinely as nice and good humored as they seem.

Also referred to as "Southern Sushi" in the Guardian piece. Which boggles me because that looks more like a puffy taquito or (since my eyes are bad) enchilada than anything else,

I agree. But, the assumption that taquitos and enchiladas are immediately familiar to Guardian writers covering the NZ beat may not be as well supported as many of us would naturally assume. Perhaps a taquito is better described as a North American cheese roll.
posted by eotvos at 8:37 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Somehow I've been to New Zealand twice, including the Southland, and have never had one of these. They look delicious! I love the texture of good squishy white bread; rolling it up like this is genius. I too grew up with pimento cheese but my family never had the brilliant idea of turning it into a warm grilled sandwich.

(BTW, if you ever do visit New Zealand, make a point of taking the tour of Parliament in Wellington. The building is nice but the really great part was hearing how the government works.)
posted by Nelson at 9:13 AM on May 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

cheese roll = 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich.
posted by evilDoug at 10:52 AM on May 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

That sounds very tasty and I may have to try it this weekend.

A tiny treasure from the Welsh Rarebit Wikipedia article linked in the FPP:

The notion that toasted cheese was a favourite dish irresistible to the Welsh has existed since the Middle Ages. In A C Merie Talys (100 Merry Tales), a printed book of jokes of 1526 AD (of which William Shakespeare made some use), it is told that God became weary of all the Welshmen in heaven, 'which with their krakynge and babelynge trobelyd all the others', and asked the Porter of Heaven Gate, St Peter, to do something about it. So St Peter went outside the gates and called in a loud voice ' Cause bobe, yt is as moche to say as rostyd chese ': at which all the Welshmen ran out, and when St Peter saw they were all outside, he went in and locked the gates, which is why there are no Welshmen in heaven. The 1526 compiler says he found this story 'Wryten amonge olde gestys'.
posted by Emmy Noether at 12:05 PM on May 18, 2018 [5 favorites]

"Rarebit" is a linguistic atrocity that will never, ever fail to rankle me.

I'm no pedant on things other than French automobiles, the evil of clothes dryers, and digital synthesis, but using that vile and pretentious corruption to describe my fantastically satisfying Welsh rabbit will result in your being unceremoniously left off my dinner party guest lists for the remainder of time. Yick.

Cheese roll sounds delicious, however.
posted by sonascope at 6:42 AM on May 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

I realize New Zealand is a real place filled with flawed and complicated humans ...

My family moved here from Seattle six months ago, and we're in the process of becoming citizens. I've found myself saying things like this a lot. Because of course there are problems. Of course those problems are far worse for some people, and that's not ok or fair. So New Zealand isn't perfect, because nothing is. But there are a lot of things going right, in comparison to what I've experienced as an American.

I had a Kiwi (originally from Zimbabwe) lend me Fairness and Freedom as a way to understand how NZ culture differs from the US despite coming from similar backgrounds. The title itself explains a lot. America cares a lot about liberty and freedom. NZ cares a lot about fairness, and it shows.
posted by jragon at 3:42 PM on May 19, 2018 [3 favorites]

Cheese rolls are excellent and I highly recommend them to all parties. Whether I would rate them higher than a meat pie, however, is not something I have given much thought to, and now that I am forced to consider it, I am equal parts distressed and anxious. So, thanks.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:09 PM on May 20, 2018 [1 favorite]

In more Budget-related goodness, legendary Flying Nun band The Bats ask the question:

"Did Grant Robertson say to compare budgets was like comparing The Bats with The Chills?"

Grant immediately shows up in their comments to explain the metaphor. (Not exactly a surprise, if I may self-link).

Still kinda giddy at the fact that a guy I used to march behind when we were students protesting fee rises is now the finance minister who's helping cut those fees, not gonna lie (even if I'd prefer a meat pie to a cheese roll).
posted by Pink Frost at 11:18 PM on May 20, 2018 [1 favorite]

My fellow Americans; I'm here to report that making this humble-seeming cheese roll is not so easy. I followed Grant Robertson's deceptively simple video. He seemed like the kind of avuncular bachelor-chow expert whose demonstration I could follow.

What undid me was the rolling of the bread. I couldn't bring myself to buy American Wonder Bread and the Beckman's white I used was perhaps too crumbly, without enough binding preservatives and sawdust. So I ended up with an awkwardly folded tripartite sandwich instead. I may also have Americanized my sandwich a bit with too much filling. As Robertson says, "never overstuff your cheese roll".

But the mixture of cheese, dairy, onion soup mix, and dried mustard was delicious. I have some left over, I think I'll try making a ordinary flat grilled cheese with the rest. And 'Murica it up with some hot sauce added to the mix.
posted by Nelson at 12:57 PM on May 22, 2018 [2 favorites]