The pizza is a lie

May 19, 2018 1:25 PM

This savory-looking confection is the tasty handiwork of Natalie and Dave Sideserf of Sideserf Cakes from Austin, Texas. You may have seen this couple on TV making their very fancy cake designs featuring the likes of decapitated heads or Ninja Turtles or rainbow-farting unicorns. Or possibly you’ve seen some of their fine work on DM. Now this talented couple may have fulfilled some ancient prophecy by creating the Pizza Cake. (Disturbing cakes previously)
posted by Johnny Wallflower (28 comments total)

Well now I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make a cake that awesome
posted by aubilenon at 1:48 PM on May 19, 2018

“It's almost pizza!”
posted by Fizz at 2:05 PM on May 19, 2018 [5 favorites]

I'm pretty sure that if I had 10,000 hours of practice I could probably eat one of these without a crushing amount of guilt for destroying something awesome.
posted by oddman at 2:36 PM on May 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'd certainly feel less guilty about eating it than I would about waiting for it to go bad and then throwing it out.
posted by aubilenon at 2:38 PM on May 19, 2018

> aubilenon:
"Well now I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make a cake that awesome"

Building notes.
posted by Samizdata at 2:38 PM on May 19, 2018

I watched the video. Watching someone draw something awesome does not mean I could draw something awesome without spending years practicing drawing, and my sense is this exactly the same thing
posted by aubilenon at 2:41 PM on May 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

> aubilenon:
"I watched the video. Watching someone draw something awesome does not mean I could draw something awesome without spending years practicing drawing, and my sense is this exactly the same thing"

As someone with zero practical art talent, I feel your pain. I thought the video might feed you some ideas to work with though.
posted by Samizdata at 2:46 PM on May 19, 2018

FEED ME, SEYMOUR.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:48 PM on May 19, 2018

Everything except the sauce is all sculpted and painted fondant, which is impressive, but kinda boring as a cake topping.
posted by Jon_Evil at 3:08 PM on May 19, 2018 [4 favorites]

According to the Sideserf comments on YT it's actually modeling chocolate, which I don't know how it tastes but it's got to be better than fondant, right?
posted by aubilenon at 3:18 PM on May 19, 2018 [3 favorites]

but it's got to be better than fondant, right?

Drywall is better than fondant.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:19 PM on May 19, 2018 [11 favorites]

mandolin conspiracy, you can tell the difference?
posted by Mr. Excellent at 3:35 PM on May 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

Geez, these are amazing.

How much does a cake like this cost?
posted by meese at 3:57 PM on May 19, 2018

I think they overshot their goal with the pizza cake. That pizza looks pretty good and I would actually be disappointed to bite into it and get cake. (Not even taking the fondant issue into account.) If they had made it look like cheap frozen or school lunch pizza, though, I would be pleasantly surprised to bite into cake instead. But I am still impressed with the verisimilitude of their creations.
posted by TedW at 4:03 PM on May 19, 2018 [7 favorites]

Holy shit not only is that a pizza cake it’s a Via 313 pizza cake. Which just so happens to be the best pizza in Austin. And perhaps even better than Puget Sound Pizza in Tacoma. Which means it might be the best pizza. Which is perhaps why it’s been enshrined by the best pizza cake.
posted by nikaspark at 5:36 PM on May 19, 2018 [3 favorites]

I think this pizza fondant sculpture is about as much a cake as a burrito is a sandwich.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:03 PM on May 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

This pig is both realistic and hilarious
posted by pangolin party at 6:17 PM on May 19, 2018 [3 favorites]

I think this pizza fondant sculpture is about as much a cake as a burrito is a sandwich.

It's not fondant!
posted by aubilenon at 6:17 PM on May 19, 2018

If that pizza is a cake, I’ll eat my words!
posted by darkstar at 6:22 PM on May 19, 2018

How much does a cake like this cost?

According to the website their “signature cakes” (delicious looking layer cakes that feed 10-12) are $43.00. For a quote on a custom cake they tell you to have a minimum $250.00 budget.
posted by TedW at 6:50 PM on May 19, 2018

It's not fondant!

modeling chocolate is sort of a fondant-chocolate hybrid, which does taste better than fondant, but both rely on semi-crystalized, partially-inverted sugar for their structural properties.

It's kinda like the difference between Orcs and Urk-Hai. Technically not the same thing, but they're both grotesque beasts in the service of an evil sorcerer that are out to kill our heroes.
posted by Jon_Evil at 7:08 PM on May 19, 2018 [15 favorites]

It's kinda like the difference between Orcs and Urk-Hai. Technically not the same thing, but they're both grotesque beasts in the service of an evil sorcerer that are out to kill our heroes.

I'm a little confused. Which master does fondant serve, again?
posted by Four Ds at 7:27 PM on May 19, 2018

According to Noam Chomsky that would be Gandalf?
posted by nikaspark at 7:35 PM on May 19, 2018

both rely on semi-crystalized, partially-inverted sugar for their structural properties.

The problem with fondant isn't the invert sugar though. Marzipan uses that too, for the same reason, and it's freaking delicious.
posted by aubilenon at 8:13 PM on May 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

Ok, now who is going to make the pizza that looks like a cake?
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 8:38 PM on May 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

Apparently there's a place in Texas called Via 313 that makes pizzas that look almost exactly like that cake. Does that count?
posted by aubilenon at 11:17 PM on May 19, 2018 [5 favorites]

Yes
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 10:05 AM on May 20, 2018

This pig is both realistic and hilarious

I think that might be an armadillo. In which case, even cooler in my opinion.
posted by mosessis at 8:39 PM on May 20, 2018