Cuteness update: I'm dying.

May 30, 2018 10:06 PM

A man goes upstairs to get a sweater, finds a cat (not his) who has just given birth to kittens, becomes #catdad and experiences a new plane of existence. (SLTwitter thread)
posted by lunasol (94 comments total)

This is cute, but if you discover that a stray cat has broken into your house to have kittens I’m really not sure that you should let the cuteness get in the way of finding answers to the more serious questions of where that cat came from and whether it has had its shots.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:13 PM on May 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

Rabies is not a serious problem in the UK, so if he doesn't already have cats, I think probably mama is fine until he has the chance to get her to the vet.
posted by Sequence at 10:17 PM on May 30, 2018 [8 favorites]

Damn, toxoplasmosis works fast.
posted by egypturnash at 10:19 PM on May 30, 2018 [112 favorites]

I’m really not sure that you should let the cuteness get in the way of finding answers to the more serious questions of where that cat came from and whether it has had its shots.

There is some discussion later in the thread about how to get a mobile chip reader service to come scan the cat.
posted by hippybear at 10:30 PM on May 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

And on this day, we all became #catdad by proxy.
posted by Vesihiisi at 11:00 PM on May 30, 2018 [7 favorites]

This is a Very Important Post and I identify greatly with #CatDad.

I also mentally adopt all cats and dogs I come across though during my travels so to me I am #UniversalMama because why the heck not.

I am not allowed to speak of my love for small sneks. :( No one in my family, group of friends, or coworkers understand that kind of love.
posted by Hermione Granger at 11:35 PM on May 30, 2018 [27 favorites]

(on second thought, I do hope he didn't have anything important in that underbed storage. I guess it qualifies for burning with fire now?)
posted by Vesihiisi at 11:47 PM on May 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

There is some discussion later in the thread about how to get a mobile chip reader service to come scan the cat.

Truly, relevant to Metafilter's interests.
posted by Sequence at 11:50 PM on May 30, 2018 [45 favorites]

Oh my God! TINIEST LITTLE PINK TOES!

Hermione Granger - Cute tiny danger noodles!
posted by rmd1023 at 11:57 PM on May 30, 2018 [11 favorites]

(on second thought, I do hope he didn't have anything important in that underbed storage. I guess it qualifies for burning with fire now?)

Cats can be mysterious in that way. My family's cat had kittens one summer while we were at the cabin, when I was about 9. We knew she was about due and did our best to make sure to keep her inside so that she didn't give birth outside, but at some point in the evening we couldn't find her and were worried she'd slipped outside. So we went to bed hoping for the best and as I lay in bed trying to sleep I started hearing tiny 'mew' noises coming from under the bed. Sure enough, she had given birth inside one of our fabric suitcases, which somehow remained spotless throughout the process.
posted by WaylandSmith at 12:04 AM on May 31, 2018 [13 favorites]

– Hey, nice pyjamas!
– Thank you, it's the cat's pyjamas.
posted by Vesihiisi at 12:08 AM on May 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

Kittens are all very nice and I recognize the importance of becoming a designated cat-Dad, but tonight I literally (yes, literally) commanded my cat to attack and eat my son who was behaving badly and was roundly ignored despite the 16 years of raising this kitty as my eldest, most important child. It’s almost as if I’m just a person that provides food and water and shelter to her without any acknowledgement of the debt she owes me or the effort I’ve spent raising her to carry out my bidding.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:08 AM on May 31, 2018 [66 favorites]

Your cat likes your son better than you.
posted by hippybear at 12:10 AM on May 31, 2018 [36 favorites]

That was my first thought as well, hippybear. Yet another human unaware that the cat has been influencing their human-child from birth and is in fact just waiting for the day that they can command the human-child to attack and eat the adult one who no longer meets their standards. Further, now the cat merely has to point to that episode where adult-human ordered a feline hit job.
posted by fraula at 12:56 AM on May 31, 2018 [14 favorites]

Also, on that day, MeFi will celebrate the rise of the oppressed, guillotines, etc.
posted by biffa at 4:06 AM on May 31, 2018 [2 favorites]

This is so pure.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 4:41 AM on May 31, 2018

if you discover that a stray cat has broken into your house to have kittens I’m really not sure that you should let the cuteness get in the way of finding answers to the more serious questions of where that cat came from and whether it has had its shots.

I think elsewhere in the thread he mentions that he's in the habit of leaving a backyard window open in summer.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:47 AM on May 31, 2018

Two black-and-white blotchy ones (cow kittens!), one tuxedo and one striper. That's a quality assortment!
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:55 AM on May 31, 2018 [18 favorites]

The cat choose his house to have her kittens because she knew he was a good man. He did not disappoint her. Beautiful mama and kittens.
posted by mermayd at 4:58 AM on May 31, 2018 [24 favorites]

Damn, toxoplasmosis works fast.

What if the internet is just a metamorphosed form of Toxoplasmosis?
posted by srboisvert at 4:59 AM on May 31, 2018 [19 favorites]

I think elsewhere in the thread he mentions that he's in the habit of leaving a backyard window open in summer.

Someday the amazing technology of window screens will find its way to the UK.
posted by octothorpe at 5:00 AM on May 31, 2018 [23 favorites]

Surely this is one cat thread we can get through without anyone mentioning Toxoplasmosis, I thought
posted by IjonTichy at 5:02 AM on May 31, 2018 [8 favorites]

Not just a cat, but a cow cat! With cow kittens! As a #cowcatmom I'm pleased! And want one of those cow kittens!
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 5:05 AM on May 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

Also, on that day, MeFi will celebrate the rise of the oppressed, guillotines, etc.

it's called La Mécanique.

- guillotines? la mecanique. (most esp. since U.Eco told us about this word.)
- the oppressed? la mecanique, oh, you betta believe where that worked.
- the amazing technology of window screens? la mecanique. (srsly do you have a place this word does not work?) ((or cats??!?))
posted by dorian at 5:10 AM on May 31, 2018 [2 favorites]

This is one lucky dude. When animals have broken into my house and had babies, they have not been anything as adorable as kitties and kittens.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:14 AM on May 31, 2018 [17 favorites]

Someday the amazing technology of window screens will find its way to the UK.

Once global warming has made the U.K. summer more than three days long, probably.
posted by Segundus at 5:19 AM on May 31, 2018 [10 favorites]

Someday the amazing technology of window screens will find its way to the UK.

Every summer at least one of my British friends has at least one story of wacky wildlife-in-the-house hijinks and every summer I'm like, you know, guys, this is a solved problem. And they insist they don't need window screens for British Reasons and I'm like, did you not just have a badger in your underwear drawer or whatever?
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:22 AM on May 31, 2018 [140 favorites]

Someday the amazing technology of window screens will find its way to the UK.

We can but dream. Almost every openable window I've ever had in this country has opened outwards and has relied on a window stay to hold it open - which means an open window has a bit of metal poking into the room, interfering with anything you might want to slot into the opening to prevent ingress by cats, wasps, mosquitoes, moths, alarmingly large beetles etc.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 5:26 AM on May 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

.... by cats, wasps, mosquitoes, moths, alarmingly large beetles etc.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature

OH COME ON

this is just eponysterical-bait, surely! MODS!
posted by prismatic7 at 5:38 AM on May 31, 2018 [30 favorites]

Slothful middle-aged male human here who has recently been acquired by a slothful middle-aged male cat.

He literally walked in one day, a complete stranger, looking a little on the slim side, and said, any food going? Being a soft touch, I said yes, and the furry free-loading bastard moved straight in.

His choice of me was probably mostly down to being one of the only houses around here that didn't already have a dog or cat.

Had him scanned, and the vet rang the listed owner, who basically denied being its owner and claimed somebody else had registered it in their name – no, the vet and I didn't buy it either, but what can you do? They clearly just didn't want to know about it. An abandoned animal, one way or another.

He and I have lounging around on the verandah all day in common, which is always a good starting point. And if I feed him and don't step on his tail, then he generously refrains from biting me, and will occasionally tolerate a brief cuddle from me, which oddly enough always seems to be just before his mealtime.

You know, a cat.
posted by Pouteria at 5:42 AM on May 31, 2018 [83 favorites]

Slothful middle-aged male human here who has recently been acquired by a slothful middle-aged male cat.

I knew a guy who acquired a cat through similar means. The cat walked in through his open door and said "I live here now." And that was how the cat received the name Hubris.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:52 AM on May 31, 2018 [56 favorites]

One summer, when I was about seven. I was woken up by a strange sound. I sat up and there was a pile a wriggling things in my lap (on top of the blanket). Fortunately, my panicked reaction was to first scream for my parents rather than throw the blanket to the floor. Because about three blinks later, I realized that our cat was on the bed next to me and she had chosen to have six kittens in my lap while I slept.

My parents rushed into the room, turned on the lights, and started laughing. I didn't move for like an hour until mama cat had finished cleaning them off and checking on them, then we relocated them all to a big box with a towel in it.

It is probably the most magical way I have ever woken up.
posted by 256 at 6:00 AM on May 31, 2018 [119 favorites]

MetaFilter: Did you not just have a badger in your underwear drawer?
posted by neroli at 6:04 AM on May 31, 2018 [22 favorites]

WHY IS NO ONE LINKING ME TO PICTURES OF THEIR CATS?

I'm distressed.

This is Pumpkin Cat.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 6:04 AM on May 31, 2018 [28 favorites]

And that was how the cat received the name Hubris.

When you live with a cat, you da bitch.

The worst thing about a cat is their fuck-you attitude, which is also their most endearing quality.
posted by Pouteria at 6:08 AM on May 31, 2018 [2 favorites]

Pumpkin Cat iz cutey. :)
posted by Pouteria at 6:10 AM on May 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

He loves them now, but wait until they're up and about and getting into everything. Kittens are hellions. Heart-melting, irresistible hellions. <3
posted by Anonymous at 6:15 AM on May 31, 2018

I volunteer for an animal rescue organization and everyone wants to foster or adopt kittens. We always give the warning that if you get kittens you better get two because they'll (mostly) busy themselves with each other rather than your bookcase, your kitchen cabinets, your laundry, your desk, your closet . . .
posted by Anonymous at 6:17 AM on May 31, 2018

I approve of Pumpkin Cat.
posted by Vesihiisi at 6:22 AM on May 31, 2018 [6 favorites]

I volunteer for an animal rescue organization and everyone wants to foster or adopt kittens.

The vet said it is very hard to find homes for adult cats, even the cute and friendly ones. Everybody wants a kitten.
posted by Pouteria at 6:28 AM on May 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

Pumpkin Cat is a good cat. There's more pictures in the Pumpkin Album in my linked Facebook in my profile. She's my son's ESA.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 6:34 AM on May 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

I am emotionally spent after that thread. I squeed over the cuteness. I laughed with delight. And I straight up burst into tears when he said he wasn't naming them because they could be someone else's kittens and he doesn't want to get attached (when he's so obviously attached). CatDad is good hooman.
posted by Ruki at 6:37 AM on May 31, 2018 [10 favorites]

I love CatDad. He is the best of human beings and I hope he gets to, at the very least, keep MamaKitty.

Here is Chloe, Remy, and Finley. They're mostly good cats except when they're not.
posted by cooker girl at 7:01 AM on May 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

My dad did this when I was in 5th grade! A kitty came to our house asking to be let in, so he did, because why not. Several hours later he remembered the strange cat he'd let into our house, went looking for her, and found her in my parents' closet with 4 kittens. We kept two and mama ended up living across the street. She was a cranky beast. We used to laugh about how she turned on the charm to find a safe place to have her babies.
posted by Mavri at 7:19 AM on May 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

My parents did this when I was in college. A stray cat moved into their detached garage and proceeded to have a litter of 5 kittens. They adopted the mother and 3 of the kittens, adopting the other 2 out to friends. The love they had for those cats (now all deceased because holy shit I was in college 20 years ago) tipped over from cute to ridiculous somewhere around year 2.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:23 AM on May 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

Yeah, in college my ex ended up with kittens in his bushes and a friend of his did the baby fostering for weeks on end and was all, "I can't leave my house, I'm covered in milk...." So we took them once they were bigger. Kept them in a room with no door on it, which was a smart move.

I'm amused that random animals getting into a house because of no screens is A Thing in England.

Also amused at the "it's not legal to get a cat spayed if you're not the owner" thing, since I had a roommate with an unspayed cat and the roommate was basically nocturnal so she never got around to it until of course, pregnancy happened. This was A Thing I debated doing except (a) I assumed it wasn't legal or at least would look super hinky, and (b) I didn't drive and didn't think wrestling a cat carrier on a bus would go well.

Uh, you asked for photos?
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:37 AM on May 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

My Primary School had a stationary freeze in place for several days because Lucy the cat decided to have her kittens in the stationary cupboard.

Not in the perfectly good box provided by her owners in the perfectly good house she lived in next to our playground....

Cats.
posted by Helga-woo at 8:12 AM on May 31, 2018 [1 favorite]

In a very timely move for this thread, I was in a standing sandwich lunch with about 24 people today, in a seminar room on the upper floor of one of our campus buildings, when a black cat wandered in, dodged his way right across the room then jumped up to table level and helped himself to a piece of pineapple.
posted by biffa at 8:27 AM on May 31, 2018 [13 favorites]

pfft, screens. We get FREE GUEST KITTENS, what’s not to like?

(we mostly do not get free guest kittens alas. But we also don’t have much dangerous or pain-inducing wildlife, so screens seem a bit pointless. Unless you’re up in midge country in which case God help you, those little bastards can get through solid brick.)
posted by Catseye at 8:33 AM on May 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

One of my wife's friends has a habit of finding animals and fostering them. One day he found a kitten in a gutter who we think was taken away from the litter by her mom because she was too sick. She texted me about taking it in and so we did.

Here's Banjolina the day we got her. She had a perforated eyeball, herpes and a massive upper respiratory infection.

Here's Banjolina now. After a bunch of trips to the vet and a cat optometrist she ended up healthy. We were worried the scarring on her eyes would leave her blind but she sees just fine out of at least one eye. Enough to chase gnats almost too small for us to see around the apartment.

She has no fear of our two cocker spaniels either. She mostly tries to take them down like they're water buffalo and they put up with her just fine.

Stray cats are the best cats.
posted by mikesch at 8:35 AM on May 31, 2018 [33 favorites]

As someone who foolishly took in a litter of five-week old kittens, I must refute the idea that they mainly occupy themselves with each other. Instead, they collaborate and conspire when not trying to sit on your lap all at once.

They’re seven years old now. The unrelated tabby is nine, but he joined in with joyful enthusiasm at their arrival and never looked back. I still come upon them doing things like this on a regular basis.
posted by Autumnheart at 8:40 AM on May 31, 2018 [17 favorites]

When I was a kid, a very young stray cat had kittens in my yard. We took her in, found good homes for the kittens, took her to the vet, and she lived with us for the next ten years. She was a fantastic cat. This is an far better cat-origin story. It's adorable. Cheers!

But, goddamn, kittens are hideously ugly. They're the blowfly worms of mammals. Better than puppies, but only because they spread poop over a smaller area. Fortunately, they very quickly turn into adult cats. Adult cats are lovely.
posted by eotvos at 8:54 AM on May 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

Some friends of mine, confirmed no pet people, had a stray cat living under their porch. Along came four kittens. Needless to say mama and kitties all live inside what has now become a big mid-century cat house complete with cat-specific screened patio.
posted by misterpatrick at 8:55 AM on May 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

But we also don’t have much dangerous or pain-inducing wildlife, so screens seem a bit pointless.

but

but wasps

... and also large buzzing flies, mosquitoes, moths[*], daddy-long-legs, and assorted other flying things I'd just rather stayed outdoors, for everyone's sake.

[*] Have I mentioned the time a large moth flew into my hall, headed straight for the 300W halogen uplighter in the corner, immediately caught fire and then flew around the hall as a ball of flame for a blessedly short time before falling dead to the carpet? Thankfully, there's not much on a moth to burn, and the flame had gone out by the time it landed.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 9:01 AM on May 31, 2018 [18 favorites]

But, goddamn, kittens are hideously ugly.

What in the hell is wrong with your eyesight??

I mean, just LOOK AT THIS.
posted by cooker girl at 9:08 AM on May 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

I try to be a good CatDad by making sure my cat gets a good education.

Leo attempts Euclid Book I, Proposition 1.
posted by Reverend John at 9:15 AM on May 31, 2018 [6 favorites]

Newborn kittens are basically cute fuzzy potatoes for the first week or two. They then progress to the Cute Fuzzy Potato Waving Tiny Feets In All Directions stage, and then directly to Tiny Cathood.
posted by delfin at 9:19 AM on May 31, 2018 [12 favorites]

Did he die? I bet he's ded.

Ok, so they weren't kittens but yesterday I was sitting in a park waiting for my coffee and perception of reality to kick in, just enjoying the pleasant view, watching a blue heron fish and a bunch of mud ducks and drakes duck-diving, and I thought things were pretty good.

Until the TINIEST DUCKLINGS ever paddled and bobbed into view, and one of them ran right up the shore at me, gave the tiniest of honks than ran flap-footed back out across the water, and I started dying.

And I'm texting someone about my impending death from cute THEN SOME EVEN TINIER DUCKLINGS PADDLED OUT omg still dying.
posted by loquacious at 9:35 AM on May 31, 2018 [26 favorites]

squee-related deds claim thousands of lives each year.
posted by The otter lady at 9:55 AM on May 31, 2018 [10 favorites]

There was a litter of kittens in our yard some weeks ago, and we were able to able to catch them and get them to a rescue that is fostering them and getting them fixed and adopted (3 black kittens still available!).

We'd seen the mother around the neighborhood and think she is the mother of the black kitten we found last August (recent photo); we trapped her and took her to FixNation and released her.
posted by mogget at 10:09 AM on May 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

He literally walked in one day, a complete stranger, looking a little on the slim side, and said, any food going? Being a soft touch, I said yes, and the furry free-loading bastard moved straight in.

This is one of our most ancient pacts. Cats chose to jump into our laps. We've never tamed them.
posted by bonehead at 10:10 AM on May 31, 2018 [10 favorites]

What the hell? So, I just had a black and white cow-cat I've never, ever seen before anywhere in the neighborhood come in through the cat-hole in the wall that my house's cat uses.

I said "What the hell cat!? shoo!" and it did. I am highly confused and I'm going to try to willfully ignore this information so I can go about my day, because the synchronicity is... yeah. Moving on... next item on the agenda is...

THIS BETTER NOT END IN KITTENS. HELLO UNIVERSE? NO KITTENS. YOU'VE THROWN ALL KINDS OF WILD AND WACKY THINGS AT ME THIS MONTH INCLUDING CALLING IN A STRANDED, PREGNANT SEAL TO THE STRANDING NETWORK. NO KITTENS, OK? PLATE FULL.
posted by loquacious at 10:14 AM on May 31, 2018 [17 favorites]

No worries, loquacious. There will be no kittens. The cow-cat will, instead, give birth to three baby monkeys and a small moose.
posted by delfin at 10:23 AM on May 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

THIS BETTER NOT END IN KITTENS. HELLO UNIVERSE? NO KITTENS.

Sorry, loquacious. You just ensured that there will be kittens.
posted by lunasol at 10:25 AM on May 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

Well, that's fine, then.
posted by loquacious at 10:25 AM on May 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

No, not the kittens, the three baby monkeys and a small moose. That would be just normal around here.
posted by loquacious at 11:04 AM on May 31, 2018 [6 favorites]

WHY IS NO ONE LINKING ME TO PICTURES OF THEIR CATS?

Will you settle for a video?
posted by linux at 11:11 AM on May 31, 2018 [6 favorites]

A wild mama cat got into our cellar once and either had kittens there or brought them with her. Either way, when they were a few weeks old they got under the furnace and singed off their whiskers on the pilot light and that's how we got Lily and Libby, the two dumbest cats I've ever known. (Mama cat beat cheeks as soon as she saw we were going to take care of the little singewhiskers).
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:23 AM on May 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

Here's a short video of Hannibal at 5 weeks after being rescued from a roof with his two brothers and fostered by a friend of mine. Here he is as a teenager, asleep with his tongue sticking out. And here he is with a bow on his head.
posted by elsietheeel at 11:32 AM on May 31, 2018 [4 favorites]

I'm watching a live kitten cam right now (they just started visiting Grandpa Mason!). If #CatDad wants to turn his film career to kitten documentarian, I am here to be his audience.
posted by gladly at 11:42 AM on May 31, 2018 [7 favorites]

But, goddamn, kittens are hideously ugly. They're the blowfly worms of mammals.

No no, you're thinking of baby humans. Get your young mammals straight. Otherwise spot on.
posted by Vesihiisi at 11:56 AM on May 31, 2018 [17 favorites]

This is right up there among the best things I've ever read: "This is too much. I'm approaching nirvana. I legitimately suffer from anxiety attacks and depression and my capacity to deal with it recently has been waning. The Cat Gods have smiled upon me with benevolence and turned the monsters under my bed into kittens."
posted by fraula at 12:34 PM on May 31, 2018 [13 favorites]

a. I love the direction this thread has been sailing. continuez.
2. crude and not exactly one of my best but I couldn't resist.
vi. this is our newly-adopted Luccia. she says to tell you all, "BLEP!!!" (the other-one, Mr. Ginger Tuxedo Hidey McButt, has been parked under the bed the past 2 days and could not be reached for comment...)
posted by dorian at 12:54 PM on May 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

also, British Reasons really is the best kind of reasons. it's like the because-reasons analogue of technically-correct.
posted by dorian at 12:59 PM on May 31, 2018 [2 favorites]

Here are my UK lack-of-screen stories:
- Once wasps got into my grannies kitchen and ate aaaaall the icing off a birthday cake
- We lived in a rental flat with no bathroom extractor fan that required we always had the bathroom window open. And these big dopey daddy-long-legs would come in and fly towards the goddamn shower and apparently deliberately try to get stuck to my naked body. It was horrible, and I normally like the damn things.

We did nearly have a sheep in the house once but that was more of a door thing. Oh, and a plague of gigantic slugs that somehow kept getting into the kitchen in the middle of the night.


Also, because I'm way behind on my MeFi Cat Taxes: Cats you say?
posted by stillnocturnal at 1:28 PM on May 31, 2018 [5 favorites]

Kittens are all very nice and I recognize the importance of becoming a designated cat-Dad, but tonight I literally (yes, literally) commanded my cat to attack and eat my son who was behaving badly...

I literally (yes, literally) read this far into the comment and knew it was by Slarty Bartfast. Not sure what that says about either of us.
posted by clseace at 4:36 PM on May 31, 2018

Here are the British daddy long legs that can fly, just in case anyone else.
posted by Horkus at 5:52 PM on May 31, 2018 [5 favorites]

Forgot to include pics of my current set of cats. Fostered by a friend's sister - I knew she liked us when she suggested we take the runt (who has now moosed up to outweigh his sister by a fair bit - he's no absolute unit, but he's a big boy)
posted by rmd1023 at 6:36 PM on May 31, 2018 [3 favorites]

I was too busy crying earlier to post a cat picture! Gatsby, the simple cat, fell asleep mid ear-scratch. I'm guessing. (Her sister is the wise cat and Zelda, the dee oh gee, is the wicked one.) I don't have any pictures of her sister because the wise cat is filled with a deep hatred of everything that is not Kid Ruki.
posted by Ruki at 7:22 PM on May 31, 2018 [1 favorite]

Now that I know of the British aversion to window screens...

I always wanted to be reincarnated as an Argentinian cowboy or a Pixar intern in 1995 or a Heroin addicted musician in London in 1990, but now...

I’d be cool with being a pregnant stray cat at any time period in London:
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:14 PM on May 31, 2018

I saw a commenter on tinykittens live cam call the point when kittens are mobile enough to get into everything and cause all kind of trouble, the velociraptor stage.I have been pretty obsessively checking tiny kittens several times a day, yup!
posted by annsunny at 8:15 PM on May 31, 2018 [1 favorite]

He literally walked in one day, a complete stranger, looking a little on the slim side, and said, any food going? Being a soft touch, I said yes, and the furry free-loading bastard moved straight in.

This is one of our most ancient pacts. Cats chose to jump into our laps. We've never tamed them.
posted by bonehead at 12:10 PM on May 31 [7 favorites +] [!]

Thanks for the link bonehead. Found this excellent summation there:

“I think that there was no need to subject cats to such a selection process since it was not necessary to change them,” Geigl says. “They were perfect as they were.”
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:01 PM on May 31, 2018 [1 favorite]

The is The Bean.

Sometimes she is a turtle.
posted by srboisvert at 6:55 AM on June 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

Here are the British daddy long legs that can fly, just in case anyone else.

If you really want to understand the true depth of the window screenless insanity of England look for videos of Britain's super fast Giant House Spiders.
posted by srboisvert at 7:00 AM on June 1, 2018

The cats of Harlock House. We're expecting a grey tuxedo floof in maybe a week or so to add to the company.
posted by Karmakaze at 8:15 AM on June 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

WHY IS NO ONE LINKING ME TO PICTURES OF THEIR CATS?

Will you settle for a video?

Okay, I have a picture, too.

This is the latest addition. She was found in our driveway, half-starved and flea-ridden, meowing at our tuxedo, who was staring at her through the glass of the sliding door.
posted by linux at 8:39 AM on June 1, 2018 [8 favorites]

Yevgeny and Ludmilla, the Sugar Twins, have long since passed into Kitty Heaven, but they had another odd origin story. I was in high school when we moved into this really crummy rental (it had been the local house if ill repute, but that's another story). We were fixing holes in the wall the night before we moved in, and Mom heard something rustling in one. Assuming it was mice, she shone a flashlight in to scare them away only to find two four- or six-week-old kittens in a nest of fiberglass insulation. The spotted one was scrawny, the tabby was roly-poly, and they both had raw ears from mutes and the fiberglass. She tucked them into her cleavage for warmth, they switched to instapurr, and that was it. Never before or since have I known such loving creatures. The only thing they loved more than their human and feline family was each other. Although they grew to be massive cats (fifteen I pounders!) it's like they never forgot that moment when they were tiny and scared and a nice human pulled them out of the hole.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:22 AM on June 1, 2018 [8 favorites]

Oh, they were also homicidal maniacs, of course. Steal your breath soon as look at you. Milly had this signature move of flexing her hind toenails into your jugular while she was cutting off your airway. But it was all done with love.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:26 AM on June 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I rescued a four week old kitten from under a friend's porch many years ago, and he seemed to immediately get the idea that a person had bailed him out of a bad situation, and so people were totally OK in his book. Sadly I couldn't keep him (I already had four cats), but apparently even though he was well past prime kittenhood when he finally went up for adoption, he was snapped up immediately (much to my chagrin, I wanted to see the little guy one more time), so I'm guessing he was a full on charmer.
posted by wotsac at 9:48 AM on June 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

Oh, pretty Puffin! He reminds me of my dear departed Nellie.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:39 AM on June 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

If you really want to understand the true depth of the window screenless insanity of England look for videos of Britain's super fast Giant House Spiders

Oh, those don't come in through the windows. They don't need to. They teleport through the walls.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 11:57 AM on June 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

how about some puppies under a doghouse eh
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:35 PM on June 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

The common house spider lives in houses (clue is in the name). They hide away in nooks and crevices for most of the year, and you don't even know they're there. They scurry across the living room in autumn looking for a mate.

Screens won't keep them out.

But cats eat them. So, really there's no reason for screens.

If you're very lucky the cat will eat all the legs, and won't leave one lying in the middle of the rug for you to deal with in the middle of your favourite TV show.

Spiders are crunchy, in case you're wondering...
posted by Helga-woo at 3:25 PM on June 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

Re: windows, here's how the rest of Europe is doing it.

Window stays are antiquated along with the two-faucets thing the Brits are still clinging to.
posted by Harald74 at 12:59 AM on June 5, 2018 [1 favorite]