Come for the crickets, stay for the squid

June 5, 2018 7:16 AM

The Calgary Exhibition and Stampede (aka "The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth") has been attracting visitors and competitors since 1912. They've just announced this year's midway food offerings. There's way more than Barbecued-Things-on-a-Bun and mini-doughnuts and more deep-fried stuff than I thought possible.
posted by angiep (17 comments total)

There's way more than Barbecued-Things-on-a-Bun and mini-doughnuts 

Nothing is more than mini-donuts, fresh from the Rube Goldberg machine that makes them. They are...most.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:19 AM on June 5, 2018 [7 favorites]

The Prairie Oyster Balls are then drizzled with house-prepared blueberry compote and topped with a dollop of whipped cream and sprinkled with crushed nuts.

That last topping is a bit...on the nose, don't you think?
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:22 AM on June 5, 2018

honestly having a difficult time believing the Unicorn Bucket and the Giant Squid On A Stick are actual offerings rather than trolling efforts; did they let daniel kibblesmith do the menu planning, or
posted by halation at 7:38 AM on June 5, 2018

"Deep-fried Banana Peppers" might be interesting, but my hypothesis that Stunt-Food is a waste of everything has been re-affirmed by every other item on the list.
posted by mikelieman at 7:39 AM on June 5, 2018 [1 favorite]

I suspect the "giant" squid on a stick is, in fact, a slightly larger than average squid on a stick.

But perhaps "the stick" is a hockey stick and the squid is 5 feet long. It is Calgary.
posted by GuyZero at 8:20 AM on June 5, 2018 [1 favorite]

Calgary native here. The Stampede midway food has always had a whiff of excess associated with it, but the last few years have begun to show the result of what appears to be a series of escalating dares. That being said, I would probably eat everything on that menu. Full disclosure: I am a gluttonous monster.
posted by SonInLawOfSam at 9:39 AM on June 5, 2018 [5 favorites]

> That last topping is a bit...on the nose, don't you think?

That's a very astute observation and a hella awkward way of expressing it.
posted by ardgedee at 9:55 AM on June 5, 2018

> "Deep-fried Banana Peppers" might be interesting, but my hypothesis that Stunt-Food is a waste of everything has been re-affirmed by every other item on the list.

I've had jalapeño tempura and it's delicious. The frying converts some of the capsaicin to vanillin, so it's not as hot as you'd expect. And hot banana peppers tend to be some of the mildest of hot peppers, so taken at face value this barely qualifies as stunt food. That two liter bucket of soda and boba though? That's straight-up disturbing.
posted by ardgedee at 10:03 AM on June 5, 2018 [1 favorite]

That's straight-up disturbing.

Versus all-you-can-drink milk? It seems pretty tame in comparison.
posted by GuyZero at 10:17 AM on June 5, 2018

That's really fun to read. There's a lot I wouldn't eat, but Bacon Onion Bombs, Deep Fried Pineapple Rings, Spicy Chicken Arepa, Mexican-style Street Corn, Deep Fried Burger, Chicken Pho-ritos, all sound worthy uses of vats of hot oil. I don't eat dairy, and I avoid sugar, so a lot of it out of my range. I'd really prefer to be able to get much smaller portions so I could try more things. Also, deep fried food is just really bad for you, and the It's just once a year exception only goes so far.
posted by theora55 at 10:33 AM on June 5, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'll admit to wanting to try a good 2/3 of these, shame I'm missing Stampede this year.
posted by arcticseal at 12:38 PM on June 5, 2018

I think it's pretty neat that there is a push to make insects a more viable source of protein. Many of them do taste quite delicious.
posted by Dillionaire at 1:16 PM on June 5, 2018

I love fusion cuisine.
posted by ckape at 1:47 PM on June 5, 2018

My tip is to pass on the deep fried butter. It's just a ball of butter wrapped in dough and deep fried. It's gross. Save your bucks for fry bread :D
posted by Calzephyr at 3:44 PM on June 5, 2018

I've been to Stampede twice... The first time by accident, the second time I re-arranged an entire trip just to make sure that my time in Canada overlapped. It is an amazing time. Absolutely amazing. I didn't go for the rodeo. I didn't go for the food. Its just a good time. With everybody in Canada.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:36 PM on June 5, 2018 [2 favorites]

I imagine that crickets taste like nutty shrimp tails. Yes?
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:42 PM on June 5, 2018

I went to stampede once, in 1994. Stampede week was just so crazy, with business suits half squonked on the street at 9 am from screwdrivers with their pancakes. Weirdest midway food I remember then was a foot long corndog, which I ate with relish and then deeply regretted for several hours.

Other memories:
- chuckwagon races were fucking INSANE
- dave broadfoot did standup in the grandstand show. Even then I was surprised he was still alive...but he was pretty funny.
- a woman two rows in front of me who kept drunkenly offering people her tequila. "YOU WAN' SOME TKEELA? ISH WARM. HADDA BODDLE UNDER MY ARM. GO AHEAD HAVE SOME."
- hung over the next day and convinced myself buying cowboy boots was a good idea...with 6E feet. Wore them twice.
posted by hearthpig at 2:38 PM on June 6, 2018 [2 favorites]