High-speed data security
June 8, 2018 2:40 PM Subscribe
World's fastest paper shredder, carefully engineered to optimize GDPR compliance.
Video is in Danish. Closed captioned translation provided. Can be fully appreciated with both sound and captions off.
Video is in Danish. Closed captioned translation provided. Can be fully appreciated with both sound and captions off.
That guy really shreds.
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:47 PM on June 8, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:47 PM on June 8, 2018 [7 favorites]
Fingers gone before you know it!
posted by pracowity at 2:59 PM on June 8, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 2:59 PM on June 8, 2018 [5 favorites]
Ha! I never would have imagined I could have enjoyed watching paper shredding this much.
posted by obfuscation at 3:05 PM on June 8, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by obfuscation at 3:05 PM on June 8, 2018 [4 favorites]
I wish I had one back when I had to shred over 100 payroll files to stay in compliance with data retention policies!
DISAPPEARING PAPER!!!
posted by lineofsight at 3:05 PM on June 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
DISAPPEARING PAPER!!!
posted by lineofsight at 3:05 PM on June 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that they weren't speaking some deranged form of english. I thought they were extremely drunk Australians with power tools.
posted by kaibutsu at 3:08 PM on June 8, 2018 [32 favorites]
posted by kaibutsu at 3:08 PM on June 8, 2018 [32 favorites]
If this thing will not overheat after ten minutes like every other shredder in existence, I would buy one so fast.
Also I think that data security companies are leaving money on the table by not wandering through residential neighborhoods and offering to shred bags of stuff. Forget ice cream, give me an overclocked shredder!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 3:10 PM on June 8, 2018 [6 favorites]
Also I think that data security companies are leaving money on the table by not wandering through residential neighborhoods and offering to shred bags of stuff. Forget ice cream, give me an overclocked shredder!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 3:10 PM on June 8, 2018 [6 favorites]
I thought they were extremely drunk Australians with power tools.
I feel like a twitter bot that captions random images from "There I Fixed It" with this would be great.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:20 PM on June 8, 2018
I feel like a twitter bot that captions random images from "There I Fixed It" with this would be great.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:20 PM on June 8, 2018
His delight at the first shred perfectly matched mine.
posted by Jode at 3:23 PM on June 8, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by Jode at 3:23 PM on June 8, 2018 [9 favorites]
Grateful though I am for the protections that the GDPR offers, this is the only thing related to it that has not either irritated or bored me.
posted by howfar at 3:27 PM on June 8, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by howfar at 3:27 PM on June 8, 2018 [5 favorites]
The shredding noise it makes is so satisfying
posted by not_the_water at 3:30 PM on June 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by not_the_water at 3:30 PM on June 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
Give one of those to Weird Al for a totally metal shredding performance.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:31 PM on June 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:31 PM on June 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
Interesting name for the website of the guys that did this. I don’t know about Danish, but morfar was our name for my Swedish maternal grandfather. Literally “ mother’s father “ in Swedish. Now my mother is farmor to my daughter, and mormor to my sister’s kids.
Cool shredder, by the way.
posted by TedW at 3:44 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
Cool shredder, by the way.
posted by TedW at 3:44 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
Video is in Danish.I assumed the audio was English, but reversed as an aesthetic choice at first. The joy comes through undiminished regardless.
posted by mattamatic at 4:16 PM on June 8, 2018 [3 favorites]
I was hoping there'd be badgers....nothing's more satisfying than the badger shredder disposal. Every office needs more badgers.
posted by mightshould at 4:19 PM on June 8, 2018
posted by mightshould at 4:19 PM on June 8, 2018
I used to find shredding things kind of soothing and zen, but now that I develop inch high stacks of things needing to be shredded every week, it has the opposite effect, especially since our shredder is tucked into a corner behind a table that my fat ass can't get into properly so I have to do all the shredding by leaning over to the right to reach the machine.
I'm not sure this would make it more zen, but it would make it require a lot less leaning.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:23 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure this would make it more zen, but it would make it require a lot less leaning.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:23 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
jeg kan rigtig godt lide det
posted by growabrain at 4:26 PM on June 8, 2018
posted by growabrain at 4:26 PM on June 8, 2018
I prefer the old way. Includes instant recycling.
posted by Splunge at 4:42 PM on June 8, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Splunge at 4:42 PM on June 8, 2018 [4 favorites]
I really liked this but I also want to send him tongs so he doesn't end up with ejecta of finger pulp as the final byproduct.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:45 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:45 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
Maybe Michael Cohen could use this? Get rid of evidence faster!
posted by greenhornet at 4:50 PM on June 8, 2018
posted by greenhornet at 4:50 PM on June 8, 2018
Det spiser alle papirer!
posted by fancyoats at 5:59 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by fancyoats at 5:59 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
I really liked this but I also want to send him tongs so he doesn't end up with ejecta of finger pulp as the final byproduct.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:45 PM on June 8
Hmmmm
posted by schadenfrau at 6:36 PM on June 8, 2018 [12 favorites]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:45 PM on June 8
Hmmmm
posted by schadenfrau at 6:36 PM on June 8, 2018 [12 favorites]
That's neat! Now do it with one of these!
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 7:01 PM on June 8, 2018
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 7:01 PM on June 8, 2018
"this is potentially very dangerous..."
Lol! You'd have to feed stuff in faster though. And by "stuff" I don't mean fingers...
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee at 7:01 PM on June 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
Lol! You'd have to feed stuff in faster though. And by "stuff" I don't mean fingers...
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee at 7:01 PM on June 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
I would like all of my DIY youtubes to be jump cut and 90 seconds long from now on, thanks.
The gleeful chuckle brings it home, too.
posted by stinkfoot at 7:32 PM on June 8, 2018 [4 favorites]
The gleeful chuckle brings it home, too.
posted by stinkfoot at 7:32 PM on June 8, 2018 [4 favorites]
His delight at the first shred perfectly matched mine.
Indeed. It is his mad laugh that makes it great. Quite possibly the same sort of laugh that his Viking forefathers uttered while sacking monasteries.
Too soon?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:52 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
Indeed. It is his mad laugh that makes it great. Quite possibly the same sort of laugh that his Viking forefathers uttered while sacking monasteries.
Too soon?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:52 PM on June 8, 2018 [1 favorite]
Wow...that would have turned the Whoopi Goldberg film 'Jumpin' Jack Flash' from a comedy into a horror movie so fast...
posted by sexyrobot at 6:36 AM on June 9, 2018
posted by sexyrobot at 6:36 AM on June 9, 2018
Yeah, I want that. Just as an individual the amount of crap I get on paper that I should shred is staggering enough that I wind up insecurely disposing of lots of stuff that has exploitable info on it. My little Fellowes shredder chokes on more than a few sheets at a time.
The finger jokes are funny, but I'd be surprised if you could get 'em into the intake with the cover on it. Otherwise it'd be a crazy product liability even with the standard motor.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:56 AM on June 9, 2018
The finger jokes are funny, but I'd be surprised if you could get 'em into the intake with the cover on it. Otherwise it'd be a crazy product liability even with the standard motor.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:56 AM on June 9, 2018
I loooove shredders. I don't think I have ASMR, but shredding videos are so satisfying. Watch the destruction of cars, couches, tires, laptops...
I swear there was a reality show about a shredding company but I can't remember what it was called. I'm 100% sure that if you charged people a fee to destroy their own stuff, it would be a successful business.
posted by AFABulous at 10:40 AM on June 9, 2018
I swear there was a reality show about a shredding company but I can't remember what it was called. I'm 100% sure that if you charged people a fee to destroy their own stuff, it would be a successful business.
posted by AFABulous at 10:40 AM on June 9, 2018
Secure document disposal is definitely a big business. Generally done on the Arrowhead/Sparkletts model. Down to the way they're serviced. Per bin per month.
posted by snuffleupagus at 11:10 AM on June 9, 2018
posted by snuffleupagus at 11:10 AM on June 9, 2018
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