To "uncottage"--or, as one dairy executive put it, "Chobani it."
June 27, 2018 5:33 AM   Subscribe

 
Only if we can have a Tab to drink.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:38 AM on June 27, 2018 [8 favorites]


I think the key to getting people to eat cottage cheese is giving it a name that doesn't sound like something you would randomly find moldering away in a cupboard in an old abandoned shack in the woods. It was clearly named by someone who hated it and wanted it to fail.
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:43 AM on June 27, 2018 [15 favorites]


I never stopped? A scoop of cottage cheese with ground black pepper on top is A+ eating, folks.

To be fair, I was raised by my grandparents so I have some pretty midcentury food tastes.
posted by Windigo at 5:47 AM on June 27, 2018 [58 favorites]


This is a case where I hope Betteridge's law applies.
posted by Pyry at 5:48 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


I also love cottage cheese. I like it with smokehouse almonds. Or just plain with a little salt. Other than cheese plate, it's the only time I get to just eat cheese and have someone else think it's a whole meal. Otherwise they just think it's a snack or an appetizer.

Our CSA used to include this unbelievable heavenly cottage cheese. It was luxurious.

When will the NYTimes go away?
posted by crush at 5:56 AM on June 27, 2018 [10 favorites]


Kalona cottage cheese (and sour cream!) is incredibly rich and tasty. Cottage cheese’s reputation has been sullied by America’s low-fat obsession.
posted by rockindata at 5:57 AM on June 27, 2018 [24 favorites]


There was a time in my life where I mixed cottage cheese with chocolate-flavored whey protein. I do not want to repeat that time. Although I do genuinely like cottage cheese with pineapple.

I think the big problem with cottage cheese is that Greek yogurt does most of what it does, but better, without the squeaky chunks. I don't doubt that Cowgirl is making genuinely good cottage cheese, but unless they can package it for a buck a serving like Breakstone's does, it can't really compete with yogurt.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:59 AM on June 27, 2018 [3 favorites]


I like cottage cheese. Full-fat is the only way to go - that chalky texture of the low-fat stuff is horrible. I mix it with a little bit of dill and celery seed.
posted by Daily Alice at 6:03 AM on June 27, 2018 [13 favorites]


I see that NYT is asking those poignant life-altering questions again.

Also, we call it keso and it comes in all kinds of flavors and, for those brave consumer moments, toppings. My favorite is Vanilla with Petrichor Mist.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:03 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


Daily Alice has it right with the full-fat recommendation. The only question for me is when we fully purge the dodgy 1970s low fat guidelines which made so many common foods unappealing. They had weak scientific backing which hasn’t gotten stronger and the sooner we stop pretending otherwise the sooner we can stop telling people that food has to taste bad to be healthy.
posted by adamsc at 6:13 AM on June 27, 2018 [6 favorites]


Michigan brand small curd full fat cottage cheese with a tomato slice on French toast.

Tryyyy iiit....
posted by disclaimer at 6:14 AM on June 27, 2018 [7 favorites]


The small chunks always look like maggots to me, and the taste isn't great either. So I think it's great if America is rediscovering cottage cheese, but I will not be joining in the party.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:18 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


I love cottage cheese. I'm a large curd girl myself--I don't like the texture of small-curd. Also, I think it should be treated as a savory; I've never quite gotten the people who eat it with fruit. Salt, pepper, and something crunchy like bagel chips or pretzel chips.
posted by dlugoczaj at 6:20 AM on June 27, 2018 [8 favorites]


Full fat cottage cheese is so goddamn good. I like it on its own, but it’s also good thrown into my usual crustless quiche recipe to add extra protein and extra creamy fluffiness to the eggs.

But for real, all dairy is better if it’s full fat. Fuck low-fat anything, that is garbage food.
posted by palomar at 6:28 AM on June 27, 2018 [20 favorites]


I love it on toast!

I also like it cold with canned peaches or pineapples, which I know sounds like some throwback to dinner party food from the 70s, but I likes what I likes.
posted by like_neon at 6:28 AM on June 27, 2018 [9 favorites]


I love (full fat, large curd) cottage cheese. I eat it on its own, or I pair it with other foods. Apple sauce pairs well, and so do sliced peaches. But my weirdest one is to pair it with baked beans.
posted by fings at 6:29 AM on June 27, 2018 [3 favorites]


Full fat is okay, but it's guar gum that bothers me. Proper cottage cheese shouldn't need a filler.
posted by steady-state strawberry at 6:32 AM on June 27, 2018 [7 favorites]


Large curd, 4%, a bit of salt and pepper, and I'm good. For a while there, it seemed that large curd had disappeared, and even the full-fat version was getting hard to find. Also, over the years I have found a couple of stores that had such poor storage that the cottage cheese was rancid, I could imagine someone trying one of those and deciding the stuff was inedible.
posted by Blackanvil at 6:34 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


I like cottage cheese :) As for more creative uses, I like it mixed into pancake batter.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:40 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


Grew up with cottage cheese, mostly on pineapple slices or somesuch. Love the stuff. Small curd, large curd, doesn't matter to me. Bring it!

All that said, cottage cheese IS NOT a replacement for ricotta in lasagna.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:43 AM on June 27, 2018 [16 favorites]


The last step is the dressing, which is the term for milk or cream that is added to the curds to make them creamy. The dressing determines the fat content of cottage cheese, and is where most of the flavor lies.

This is exactly where it gets disgusting. If it's supposed to be a liquid product (like yogurt), then having chunks in it is nasty. If it's supposed to be a cheese, then why are you adding liquid to it?

It's just horribly unappetizing, like if someone told you that the preferred method of consuming tofu were to break it up into tiny pieces, and then eat it in a slurry of the water it comes in.

Cheese is pressed to remove the liquid. Cottage cheese looks like a partially-done cheese or milk gone off. Cottage cheese will succeed when they find a way to make it look appetizing.
posted by explosion at 6:50 AM on June 27, 2018 [12 favorites]


Just bought some pineapple chunks for my cottage cheese just the other day, thank you very much (crushed: not as good; rings: too much work). However, I am an old, and even so have only re-acquainted myself with cottage cheese in the last year or two.

I wouldn't mind being able to find some with larger curds, though, but I've found almost no support for the rumor that there is a "California style" cottage cheese that has larger curds than Knudsen.
posted by rhizome at 6:50 AM on June 27, 2018


About the only point of agreement that I share with the late Richard Milhous Nixon is that cottage cheese with ketchup is a fine lunch.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:51 AM on June 27, 2018


All Cheeses Are Beautiful
posted by Space Coyote at 6:52 AM on June 27, 2018 [11 favorites]


Cottage cheese is an essential ingredient in Terry Crews’ Mac and Jeezy, which you should definitely make for dinner tonight.
posted by Missense Mutation at 6:57 AM on June 27, 2018 [5 favorites]


Cottage cheese (large curd, full fat) is a staple in my house, so this article sort of gave me the feeling like.... You know all those Onion-style articles written about the strange customs in America to mock how white people write about Africa? That’s sort of how I feel, reading this article - like strange rich aliens are exoticizing an object in my fridge. But even so it was a pretty interesting article.

I really hope they don’t manage to Chobani it, though. We do not really need 639384849 kinds of cottage cheese. Buy a big container and add the seasonings and toppings your own self, jeez! I have enough of the dairyland snob in me that I would totally try an expensive fancy cottage cheese once, but all in all I would rather my Prairie Farms stayed in a nice manageable-sized refrigerator case with the sour cream. Sometimes I think Americans are pathologically focused on choice.
posted by eirias at 7:01 AM on June 27, 2018 [4 favorites]


I'm maxed out on NYT, so I can't read the article, but I like the idea of cottage cheese. In practice, I can't seem to find great ways to eat it outside of as a constituent of more flavourful recipes. It always seems bland. Not sure what I'm doing wrong, I get full-fat, I add pepper etc.
It's a shame, because cottage cheese really fits my culinary aesthetic. :(
posted by AnhydrousLove at 7:02 AM on June 27, 2018


Noodles and cottage cheese (boil noodles, add butter, mix in cottage cheese) is excellent comfort food.
posted by thomas j wise at 7:03 AM on June 27, 2018 [5 favorites]


This whole savory angle is tripping me out.

I really hope they don’t manage to Chobani it, though. We do not really need 639384849 kinds of cottage cheese.

This is two different things. I'm under the impression that Chobani is generally a Good, so on the face of it I don't really mind seeing their name in this context. HOWEVER, there is only one flavor of cottage cheese -- plain -- and if Chobani starts breeding SKUs to maximize the value of their slotting fees or to squeeze out the stuff I like, then I'm going to be mad.
posted by rhizome at 7:05 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


I don’t mean to insult Chobani (I dimly remember them being fine, though in my house we gravitate toward Fage or Greek Gods). I thought what that marketing dude meant was something like - I want to take over huge swaths of the dairy aisle with enough cottage cheese options that people will feel compelled to spend fifteen minutes there sorting them all out. Which sounds like a nightmare to me because I am a current customer and I have other uses for that fifteen minutes.
posted by eirias at 7:11 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


American companies like Dean Foods, the nation’s largest dairy company, have given their cottage cheeses makeovers, packing them into smaller, sexier package

“Bottom line, it’s not sexy. A very clever Turkish name or something would go along way.”


This is the thing that drove me away from yogurt. It's hard to just buy a tub of yogurt in between all of the flavored sugary stuff and the Greek varieties with all kinds of impossibly wonderful health properties. I never stopped liking or buying cottage cheese but if it starts to get 'sexy' with Fruit On The Bottom! and exotic sounding flavorings and names they'll lose me.

One thing that Mrs. Clinging missed while we moved around at the Army's whim was Old Dutch ripple potato chips dipped in Old Home large curd cottage cheese. It's a weird thing to miss about Minnesota, but she's not wrong.

I usually just eat it plain but when I'm feeling fancy nothing beats sunflower seeds, bacon crumbles, and a tiny bit of French dressing.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 7:13 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


Noodles and cottage cheese (boil noodles, add butter, mix in cottage cheese) is excellent comfort food.

This is actually one of the things that has soured me on cottage cheese forever. I would eat dinner at this one friend's house sometimes when I was a kid, and his mom was a terrible cook, just awful. Dinner one night was farfalle and cottage cheese and I did everything I could to choke some down, but it was really rough going. Just the thought of it gets the bile rising up.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:13 AM on June 27, 2018 [4 favorites]


Cottage cheese is an essential ingredient in Terry Crews’ Mac and Jeezy, which you should definitely make for dinner tonight.

Just in case anybody else is like me and had to immediately Google the recipe. I'm already formulating a plan!
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:16 AM on June 27, 2018 [8 favorites]


I love cottage cheese, for breakfast or lunch. I eat it with a mix of salad stuff, according to the season. Drizzle EVOO over it and salt and pepper (a bit of lemon too, if the greens like it). So definitely savory, though I don't mind it with peaches.
My favorite brand has cream and a bit of potato starch it it for texture, and I am not averse to either ingredient.
posted by mumimor at 7:17 AM on June 27, 2018


I also like it cold with canned peaches or pineapples, which I know sounds like some throwback to dinner party food from the 70s, but I likes what I likes.

Not just any 70s dinner party/light lunch recipe idea, but pretty much exactly Nixon's last meal in the White House the day he resigned.
posted by Copronymus at 7:18 AM on June 27, 2018 [5 favorites]


I had a similar experience to uncleozzy - sleepover as a middle-schooler, parents served us cottage cheese with fruit cocktail in the morning - and the squeaking just overwhelms me still. It's also a problem with paneer. I want to like both but the texture is a killer.
posted by cobaltnine at 7:19 AM on June 27, 2018


Low carbing enlightened me to cottage cheese goodness. While I love the full fat creamy kind I get a lot of satisfaction using dry cottage cheese as a substitute for starch in that it holds up well when on a plate with sauces and curries.
posted by waving at 7:19 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


Uh-oh, now I'm worried. I bought some cottage cheese for the first time in years a couple weeks ago and was wondering why it fell out of fashion, relatively, and if it would come back in. Does this mean I've reached some sort of target audience stage of life fit to the NYT food and style articles?

Please say no...
posted by gusottertrout at 7:22 AM on June 27, 2018 [7 favorites]


Cottage cheese is a huge part of my diet, but I can only eat the full fat kind from Trader Joe's in the red container. Which is kind of a pain because I live 90 miles from the nearest TJs.

I'm also on the savory bandwagon. On toast with a sprinkle of onion powder. Or in an omelette. Or with some sunflower seeds. Or used as a dip for chips or crackers or pretzels. Or in Ree Drummond's sour cream noodle bake.
posted by elsietheeel at 7:22 AM on June 27, 2018


I recently picked up some store-brand cottage cheese singles, and accidentally got one with pineapple on the bottom. I don't think I've ever before eaten something and then had no idea whether I liked it.
posted by Etrigan at 7:22 AM on June 27, 2018 [4 favorites]


Yes to never having stopped eating cottage cheese. Also with black pepper or red pepper and maybe a drop of olive oil, tahini, or ground garlic.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:28 AM on June 27, 2018


I can't believe no-one's mentioned adding honey yet. In Poland it's such a classic pairing that the combo's sold as a single product. (Alas with blended mostly-flower blah honey. Buckwheat honey's so much better.)

I wonder what all the people weirded out by cottage cheese would say about soured milk, which is a very refreshing summer drink made, natch, by leaving fresh milk out in the warm.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 7:31 AM on June 27, 2018


elsieheeel, that recipe is almost a kugel. The recipe I use includes 16 oz. of cottage cheese and 8 oz. of sour cream. And egg noodles. Glorious cholesterol.
posted by datawrangler at 7:32 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


My grandma’s jello salad only has four ingredients, all crucial to the success of the dish: lime jello, crushed pineapple, chopped walnuts, and full-fat large curd cottage cheese. ‘Tis the ambrosia of my people.
posted by palomar at 7:36 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


Oh yes! honey is great in cottage cheese. I don't like fruit or sweet with cottage cheese, but honey is good.
posted by crush at 7:36 AM on June 27, 2018


I like cottage cheese every once in a while in small amounts.

I have never heard of putting anything in it except pineapple, which seemed all kinds of wrong to me. Honey? Ketchup? Get out of here.
posted by Foosnark at 7:41 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


(And that's coming from a childhood where we used to eat pineapple rings with shredded cheddar and Miracle Whip. I survived that somehow.)
posted by Foosnark at 7:42 AM on June 27, 2018


It's hard to just buy a tub of yogurt in between all of the flavored sugary stuff and the Greek varieties with all kinds of impossibly wonderful health properties.

This, a thousand times. I don't eat a lot of yogurt (it's fine, I just don't think of it a lot?), but I cook with it at times. It can be shockingly difficult to find the one brand of plain (not vanilla -- plain) yogurt a store carries, and when you find it it's often only in an enormous tub that's four times as much as you need.

On cottage cheese: I like it. I don't entirely understand the fruit thing? I feel like I only ever eat it at like the savory portion of a breakfast buffet, though. (Savory is fine by me in this new hipster cottage cheese world, I'm probably already eating it with some charcuterie or vegetables or something.)
posted by tocts at 7:44 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


It occurs to me, I often put cottage cheese right along with everything else when it's available at a salad bar. With dressing and all thrown on there. So I guess adding savory stuff isn't too weird.
posted by Foosnark at 8:00 AM on June 27, 2018


Control-F Apple Butter - result not found

Growing up in western PA, my also western PA born and bred father insisted that the combination of apple butter and cottage cheese was called "smearcase".
While this combo is both delicious and highly recommended, it turns out that he was slightly mistaken: smearcase is the Pennsylvania Dutch (german) word for cottage cheese itself, and not the combination of the two. It is very common in western PA to thus find apple butter on the salad bar in restaurants next to the cottage cheese.

(oh, and here's a recipe for smearcase cake which sounds delicious.)
posted by namewithoutwords at 8:10 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


I recently discovered cottage cheese. I only get the full-fat (lord save us from the low-fat dairy scourge!) and add a little heavy cream to it (because I eat Keto and feel better with lots of fat in my diet generally). I add some raspberries or blueberries (and sometimes a sprinkle of monk fruit sweetener), and it is perfection. It feels similar to eating cannoli filling. I ravenously look forward to eating this every day.
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 8:10 AM on June 27, 2018 [3 favorites]


It can be shockingly difficult to find the one brand of plain (not vanilla -- plain) yogurt a store carries, and when you find it it's often only in an enormous tub that's four times as much as you need.

It stays good practically forever, though. I was so happy when our Stop and Shop started carrying the quart tub of full-fat plain Greek yogurt. $3.79!
posted by uncleozzy at 8:14 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm maxed out on NYT, so I can't read the article

Metafilter: maxed out on NYT
posted by the_blizz at 8:17 AM on June 27, 2018 [5 favorites]


Outside of disliking the taste, texture and squeakiness, I am pretty much indifferent to the stuff. Besides, I don't own a tuffet...
posted by jim in austin at 8:20 AM on June 27, 2018


Cottage cheese and pineapple

Not just any 70s dinner party/light lunch recipe idea, but pretty much exactly Nixon's last meal in the White House the day he resigned.


I hated this when I was a kid in the early 60s, and it still looks terrible. It was on a lot of restaurant lunch menus when I was young, as a diet lunch option.

I used to like cottage cheese on saltine crackers, but haven't bought cottage cheese for many years now.
posted by jjj606 at 8:33 AM on June 27, 2018


Eat it with Indian pickle! It's so good. And the idea isn't crazy, cottage cheese is basically paneer.

This article is worth it solely for the phrase "millennial-friendly additions like probiotics and chia seeds".

Bonus Terry Crews cooking video.
posted by Nelson at 8:35 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


Y'all are making me sad. I miss cottage cheese! Over the years I developed an allergy to, of all things, whey. Now cottage cheese, yogurt, and milk are all out. Regular cheese is fine though.

I loved it on peaches. It's the salty/sweet combo. Like chocolate and peanut butter or salted caramel. Mmmmm.

I'm sure if there's a revival they'll make soy cottage cheeses and cashew cottage cheeses and (my new obsession) pea milk cottage cheeses. But I'm sure they'll all taste as atrocious as milk-alternative versions of yogurt :(

Palomar, your grandmother's salad sounds almost like my grandmother's Watergate salad. I always wondered why they called it that, but now hearing that Nixon ate a cottage cheese and fruit salad on the way out.. maybe..?
posted by antinomia at 8:39 AM on June 27, 2018


I thought cottage cheese naturally came with probiotics, so why not re-label it Probiotic Cheese and throw on a sporty or yogurty label?
posted by JoeXIII007 at 8:41 AM on June 27, 2018


One thing that Mrs. Clinging missed while we moved around at the Army's whim was Old Dutch ripple potato chips dipped in Old Home large curd cottage cheese. It's a weird thing to miss about Minnesota, but she's not wrong.

Old Home is seriously THE BEST cottage cheese. It’s one of the things I really miss about Minnesota.

Guar gum has no place in cottage cheese. It turns the texture into something creepily cloying and unctuous.
posted by spacewaitress at 8:45 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


Circa 1970s, three kids in my neighborhood were making regular meals of elbow macaroni, cottage cheese, and ketchup. Poor man's manicotti, I believe it was called. /blorp
posted by datawrangler at 8:45 AM on June 27, 2018


Nobody really knows for certain why it's called Watergate salad, but it was originally pistachio and whipped topping, not lime and cottage cheese.
posted by elsietheeel at 8:46 AM on June 27, 2018


"Nasty Church Dessert" is my new band name.
posted by rhizome at 8:52 AM on June 27, 2018 [6 favorites]


Cottage cheese served in a small teacup, topped with salted pistachios and some honey drizzled on it, is a good breakfast.

Current TV commercial: Today is the Daisy for cottage cheese
(Music: The song was created for this commercial)
posted by bananana at 8:52 AM on June 27, 2018


Carter era, middle school, making breakfast for myself. Most winter mornings it was a slice of toasted pumpernickel topped with cottage cheese and black pepper (essential, as noted), half a grapefruit on the side.
posted by bendybendy at 8:52 AM on June 27, 2018


Cottage cheese, with pepper, is a perfect companion to good fresh tomatoes. I grow a lot of tomatoes, and times like right now I have so many it's kind of a challenge to do something with all of them, and it's especially good at cutting the sharpness of an oversweet or overacidic tomato, which some of my smaller varieties turn out to be.

Also just chopped tomato and cucumber, tossed with cottage cheese. You can add a drizzle of the vinegar of your choice, too.

If you have an Instant Pot with yogurt mode, making cottage cheese is suuuuper easy, and guaranteed no guar gum or thickeners or even salt, if you don't want it, and you can have it as dry or loose as you prefer. Press it afterwards and you've made paneer. Use the rest of the leftover whey to make ricotta.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:01 AM on June 27, 2018 [5 favorites]


dude eat the full fat kind with some slightly melted frozen blueberries and either some almonds or almond butter it's radicallllllll (and healthy or whatever too)
posted by capnsue at 9:06 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm surprised no one has yet mentioned the wonderfulness that is cottage cheese on (or rather, smooshed into) a baked potato. *Much* better than sour cream IMO.
posted by Kat Allison at 9:20 AM on June 27, 2018 [6 favorites]


This thread has me wanting to go into my (UK) office and casually mention my love of "cottaging", by which I would mean the act of eating cottage cheese, and covertly watch the reactions.

"Does...does he just not know because he's American? Or is he messing with us?"

THEY'LL NEVER KNOW.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 9:21 AM on June 27, 2018 [4 favorites]


My biggest problem with cottage cheese is inconsistency. Sometimes I buy it and it's very liquid, sometimes I buy it and it's mostly solids. Come one people, quality control much?

Since I like it less liquid, I can strain out the excess but meh.

Anyway, it's great stuff and I don't know why it isn't more popular.
posted by sotonohito at 9:24 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


First peanut butter & pickles, now cottage cheese—if liver & onions becomes trendy, it'll be the doubtfulpalace Favorite Old-Guy Foods Trifecta. I'm a vegetarian now, so the last won't do me any good, but if this means getting better cottage cheese on the shelf, I'm all for it.

Strangely, cottage cheese and pineapple is one of the few widely-eaten foods I consider straight-up disgusting, as in barf danger. Savory all the way. Za'atar is my current favorite, but other viable options include dill, adobo, black pepper, cumin, and all the ground red peppers.
posted by doubtfulpalace at 9:25 AM on June 27, 2018


If I want to eat curds, I'm gonna eat right proper curds, not cottage cheese, neither "small" nor (so called) "large" with that whey crap messing it all up.

Cheese Curds. Fresh. Squeaky. Proper.

Or Deep Fried. Yeah, it ain't healthy, but it's cheese. As a Wisconsinite, I aim to savor the finer things in life. Deep Fried curds, properly cooked are such a thing.

Cottage Cheese? Not so much.
posted by symbioid at 9:29 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


I always buy cottage cheese with good intentions, but never manage to finish a container. I like to eat it in both sweet and savory preparations.

Sweet: a dollop of my favorite jam on top (sometimes with a sprinkle of kosher salt).
Savory: diced tomatoes, cucumbers and red onion with salt & pepper and vinaigrette.
posted by JennyJupiter at 9:40 AM on June 27, 2018


I love cottage cheese. Especially large-curd varieties.

That said: does anyone know if cottage cheese come with the same whey production issues that Greek yogurt does?
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:46 AM on June 27, 2018


I love cottage cheese but whenever I read about how other people like to enjoy eating it I get horrified
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:47 AM on June 27, 2018 [3 favorites]


a rare steak with cottage cheese to soak up the meat juice [...] Please no judgement.

Well then I won't tell you I just sent a picture of this comment to my wife to ruin her lunch.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:50 AM on June 27, 2018 [5 favorites]


And they say romance is dead!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:57 AM on June 27, 2018 [3 favorites]


No. Next question.

The first time I saw a commercial for Daisy cottage cheese they showed a family cutting into a lasagna made with it. I heard my Sicilian ancestors screaming in horror.
posted by Splunge at 10:12 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


I love cottage cheese, too. It's one of my favourite summer breakfasts, with cherry tomatoes fresh off the vine, lots of fresh black pepper, salt and a drizzle of olive oil. Yum.

In possible barf territory for some, but delicious and a comfort food in my family - cottage cheese as an accompaniment to baked beans. The beans have to be very hot, straight off the heat, and the cottage cheese needs to be cold, straight out of the fridge.
posted by LN at 10:28 AM on June 27, 2018


like cream cheese, this falls into the category of "too milk-like for emjaybee's stomach to enjoy," so ya'll go ahead.

I do remember those watery tubs of the stuff in the fridge when I was a kid, eaten with celery sticks when Mom or my sister were on a diet. The horror.
posted by emjaybee at 11:02 AM on June 27, 2018


disclaimer: "Michigan brand small curd full fat cottage cheese"

Oh hell yes. It is the best. Of course being Michigan brand, it is hard to find outside of Michigan. Fresh Thyme carries it here in MN, when my wife saw it in the dairy case there I was alerted by a high pitched squeal of excitement and joy. Two Michigan ex-pats made very happy that day.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:07 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


I've been dipping Fritos in cottage cheese since the 80's, and never stopped.
posted by humboldt32 at 11:09 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


The idea of eating straight up cheese by itself grosses me out. I'd still eat it if it were put me before me, but mentally chomping down on some soggy, wet, cheese like goop is not appetizing. I think my mom ate it growing up, but I can't remember ever having tried it. Besides, if I'm going to assault my body with lactose, it had better be something delicious like Ice Cream. Is cottage cheese better than ice cream? Obviously not.
posted by GoblinHoney at 11:40 AM on June 27, 2018


ctrl + F "trader joe's everything but the bagel seasoning" and no results? you people are not living your best lives.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 11:42 AM on June 27, 2018 [3 favorites]


My cottage cheese has never squeaked. Please explain.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 11:43 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


I was blown away by Daisy cottage cheese. I liked cottage cheese before, but I didn't realize how much the extra stuff in most of it affected the the taste and texture (and not for the better).

Ingredients: Cultured skim milk, cream, salt
posted by ArgentCorvid at 11:45 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


Also, I like the perfect tiny cube shape of Daisy for some reason.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 11:50 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


I enjoy the taste but dislike the texture. And whenever I eat it, it feels like there is a battle happening in my mouth/brain.
posted by Fizz at 11:54 AM on June 27, 2018


There are only brands of cottage cheese here and three are horrible. I thought I didn't like it and then one day my spouse was having it on potatoes and I tried a bit and loved it. If you've tried it before and didn't like it it is worth trying a few different varieties.

eirias: "Sometimes I think Americans are pathologically focused on choice."

And yet you only have like three flavours of chips.
posted by Mitheral at 12:06 PM on June 27, 2018


The difference between the qualities across various brands (and fat %s) of cottage cheese is extreme. Like maybe the most of almost any product? certainly much more so than most other dairy products I can think of.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 12:26 PM on June 27, 2018


Mitheral: "There are only four brands of cottage cheese"
posted by Mitheral at 12:38 PM on June 27, 2018


ooh, I forgot the deliciousness of boiled new potatoes, cottage cheese, olive oil and chives and salt and pepper.
But yes, you probably need to find a brand you like.
I've never thought of it as health food, and my preferred brand isn't squeaky at all, it's just a good simple solution for a simple meal based on vegetables. I can't imagine substituting yogurts at all, though I like yogurt. It's not cheesy enough, meaning I like both the acidity and the salinity. I really like paneer, too.
posted by mumimor at 12:42 PM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


(Note: If you like cottage cheese and don’t want to mentally associate it with anything unpleasant, you might want to skip this comment.)

One of the most commonly mentioned symptoms of a vaginal yeast infection is a “cottage cheese-like” discharge. I have seen and heard the specific cottage cheese comparison dozens and dozens of times since sex ed class in fifth grade, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard it compared to any other substance. If the dairy industry wants to revive cottage cheese, they’re going to need to talk to quite a few gynecologists and sex educators.

Although cottage cheese was plenty gross before I started making that association.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:54 PM on June 27, 2018 [3 favorites]


I came in to say psst try it with Trader Joe's everything but the bagel seasoning but Exceptional_Hubris beat me to it! That was the combo that got me to make the jump from sweet cottage cheese (like with pineapple) to savory.
posted by WidgetAlley at 1:00 PM on June 27, 2018


is this a bad time to suggest putting nutritional yeast on cottage cheese? it's tasty, I swear
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:00 PM on June 27, 2018


I am starting to wonder if cottage cheese isn't incredibly variable by region/brand. I have noticed some differences between brands here but like Mr. Yuck it has never squeaked and the texture just isn't that weird. Maybe it's because I live in a Dairy Wonderland or maybe I'm just used to it because it's a normal thing to eat here and always has been.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 1:01 PM on June 27, 2018 [3 favorites]


ooh, I forgot the deliciousness of boiled new potatoes, cottage cheese, olive oil and chives and salt and pepper.

Oh man, I forgot to add that this is one of my favorite lunches (baked potatoes work well too), especially with a little nutritional yeast on top.
posted by WidgetAlley at 1:01 PM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


"uncottage"

That's an unpleasantly Goop-y association.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:20 PM on June 27, 2018


And yet you only have like three flavours of chips.

Not anymore! We even have all-dressed chips now. And dill pickle. And...biscuits and gravy...

I mean, there's still no roast chicken or cheese and onion, but I can dream...
posted by elsietheeel at 1:54 PM on June 27, 2018


When I was a child, we had the best seasoning mix ever and we only ever used it on cottage cheese. My mom sold Tupperware for a while, so I assume it came from that. It had an orangish tinge and came in a round white tapered container. I hope they do start selling cottage cheese in small containers more! Old Home makes them, but they can be hard to find.
posted by soelo at 2:19 PM on June 27, 2018


As noted above, cottage cheese fell out of favour because they ("they") stripped the fat out of it. The whole damn point of cottage cheese is that it's a bucket of delicious salty fat.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:32 PM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


I mean, there's still no roast chicken

I got back from Colombia yesterday and it is my greatest regret (of the past 48 hours) that I didn't bring home any amazing pollo flavored lays - a total mindfuck - they both taste like super fake ramen seasoning and ACTUAL LITERAL ROTISSERIE CHICKEN at the sametime.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 2:42 PM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


actually, I bet theyd be fucking amazing crushed on top of some cottage cheese. (regret quotient increases)
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 2:49 PM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


There's a lot of cottage cheese in Featherpuff Bread -- from the Laurel's Kitchen Bread Book, so, echt 1970s. Is what I make when the household is going to be flustered and hurried -- Featherpuff buns (nine to a brownie pan) are halfway to a egg-salad-sandwich by themselves.

Several of the googlejuiced references, e.g. from the Fresh Loaf website, didn't put in the cottage cheese because they hadn't any. Fools! It's softer and fluffier and lasts better with, as long as it's whole-milk cottage cheese.
posted by clew at 4:07 PM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


My biggest problem with cottage cheese is inconsistency. Sometimes I buy it and it's very liquid, sometimes I buy it and it's mostly solids. Come one people, quality control much?

Yes, yes, yes. I love cottage cheese, eat it for any meal, but mostly lunch every day. But I am VERY picky about taste and texture. Firm, distinct, medium curds in a creamy dressing. I HATE the sticky dry stuff as well as the sour variety, and please not both. I've had to settle on the chain supermarket house brand full fat small curd as the only thing that has any consistency in the style I like. I've tried other brands - local, organic, etc. - and sometimes found one I liked, but then I'd open another tub of the same brand/curd/fat and it is completely different. Even with the supermarket brand, every now and then I'll get a "bad" tub.

No wonder people don't like it if there isn't any way to know what kind of texture and taste you are going to get.
posted by Preserver at 5:47 PM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]


My grandma’s jello salad only has four ingredients, all crucial to the success of the dish: lime jello, crushed pineapple, chopped walnuts, and full-fat large curd cottage cheese. ‘Tis the ambrosia of my people.

Those kinds of salads gave me the heebie jeebies as a kid. They were at every potluck, which was ok because you could avoid them, but the worst was when someone's mom served it and you were stuck eating it.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:47 PM on June 27, 2018


Tuna and cottage cheese mixed together with a sprinkle of black pepper and smoked sea salt on crackers.

Otherwise known as "WTF IS that?!" (Fuck yeah it's delicious!)
posted by floweredfish at 6:20 PM on June 27, 2018


Another thing to try if you are into savory is cottage cheese with chopped radishes, green onions, and a bit of salt. Ideally with some good bread.

A thing *not* to try is cottage cheese with just basil.
posted by jarek at 6:40 PM on June 27, 2018


Love the stuff. A bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos and a tub of cottage cheese, I swear, best dip ever.
posted by wallabear at 9:45 PM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]


Baked potato, large curd cottage cheese, and Mapuche Spice or smoked paprika. Oh my. Yes, it's great even—especially—when it slops over onto the adjacent New York strip.

For those who abhor the texture, buzz the cottage cheese in a blender and you have a substitute for sour cream that is much tastier.

Home made cottage cheese will have you not ever buying commercial cottage cheese ever again.

Oh, cottage cheese on artichoke heart. Exceptional.

I had a girlfriend from the south that ate cottage cheese with molasses. She liked it.
posted by bz at 7:00 AM on June 28, 2018


Those kinds of salads gave me the heebie jeebies as a kid. They were at every potluck, which was ok because you could avoid them, but the worst was when someone's mom served it and you were stuck eating it.

Me too. I took big drinks of tea along with my bites to choke pineapple, cottage cheese, and mayo down at Grandma's house. As soon as I got to desert I was so thirsty....
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:10 AM on June 28, 2018


One thing about commercial cottage cheese that I didn't realize until recently is that it often has very high sodium content. Another reason to make it yourself.
posted by bz at 7:33 AM on June 28, 2018


If you have an Instant Pot with yogurt mode, making cottage cheese is suuuuper easy,

Hey thank you! I may finally use my IP for something now, although I think I'll vary that recipe to use citric acid instead of vinegar to curdle the milk (I can't stand the taste of vinegar in dairy, which puts me off of a lot of brands of fresh mozz). If I can make my own cottage cheese to my own picky standards then I'll never have to go to Trader Joe's again.

I will still go to Trader Joe's.
posted by elsietheeel at 7:54 AM on June 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


I have also used citric acid and it was fine. Depending on the mood of your milk and the stability/acidity of your lemon juice, you can usually get away with that as well although sometimes you end up in a situation where it takes kind of a LOT of juice to get the curdle. But it's actually my preference if I'm making cheese that's going to be sweetened, or made into an herby sort of dip/spread/ball.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:23 AM on June 28, 2018


it just has a weird name and an unappealling appearance. pass.
posted by thelonius at 9:48 AM on June 28, 2018


For those who abhor the texture, buzz the cottage cheese in a blender and you have a substitute for sour cream that is much tastier.

LOL.
posted by Splunge at 10:34 AM on June 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


Oh wait. That wasn't a joke?
posted by Splunge at 10:35 AM on June 28, 2018 [2 favorites]


One thing about commercial cottage cheese that I didn't realize until recently is that it often has very high sodium content.

Funny, as I've been reincorporating it into my diet, the saltiness is something I like about it and didn't notice as a kid. Goes well with the pineapple to make it a little less cloying.

I suppose this also leans toward the "savory cottage cheese" world that I'm assiduously avoiding.
posted by rhizome at 12:56 PM on June 28, 2018


My grandma’s jello salad* only has four ingredients, all crucial to the success of the dish: lime green jello, crushed pineapple, chopped walnuts, and full-fat large curd cottage cheese. ‘Tis the ambrosia of my people.

FTFY. Just because the box says "lime" doesn't make it so.

*Or, if you already have enough salads at the potluck, works equally well as a dessert.

I, too, grew up with this stuff—and like most things associated with my throwback, racist, economically depressed yet still Trump-loving hometown, I now find it vile.
posted by she's not there at 8:16 PM on June 28, 2018


I made Terry Crews' Mack and Jeezy last night. TBH I won't go out of my way to make it again. As he says in the video, this is not a creamy mac-n-cheese. It's quite dry, it read more like a bland kugel to me. The curds of the cottage cheese don't do the dish any favors, it just makes it chunkier and less creamy. Hmpf. Simple to make though, and definitely a rib-sticking meal.

Since I'm complaining, this simple mac-n-cheese is more to my liking. The trick there is evaporated milk. That might work in Crews' recipe too, come to think of it.
posted by Nelson at 7:28 AM on June 29, 2018


Oh my. In my house (full fat) cottage cheese a summer staple; my husband and I like to have a simple evening meal we call "cold supper" that involves good deli meats or store roasted chicken, apples and/or grapes and/or [insert seasonal fruit], fresh farm stand tomatoes, baguette or amish market rolls and LOTS of cottage cheese with salt and pepper. I'm freaking drooling right now and know what I want for dinner.
posted by Kimberly at 11:54 AM on June 29, 2018


ctrl + F "trader joe's everything but the bagel seasoning" and no results? you people are not living your best lives.

That or TJs' Lemon Pepper in a grinder. Which goes on everything.
posted by Celsius1414 at 6:25 AM on June 30, 2018


When I was a kid in the sixties, that cold summer meal was cottage cheese, kidney bean salad (which had a white dressing), canned red salmon, and another salad.

Cottage cheese is really good on top of vindaloo and other curry-type dishes. And of course on potatoes.

I hate Breakstone's cottage cheese. So weirdly gummy. I don't get why they add all those gums to a food that is perfectly nice without them.

My favorite cottage cheese is Lucerne large curd, 4% fat. I need to learn to like another brand, but have been disappointed by how weirdly sour-tasting the other brands I've tried are.
posted by chromium at 6:14 PM on June 30, 2018 [1 favorite]


My favorite was whatever was the Irma house brand in Copenhagen, where it is called hytte ret or, literally, "hut cheese." For some reason, when topping Danish white potatoes, the Danish cottage cheese interacted with the potatoes and produced a flavor reminiscent of the oddly sweet sensation of artichokes—heaven. In the U.S. the small Spokane, WA based grocery chain Rosauers sells a house brand of cottage cheese, large curd, which most closely resembles the Danish Irma cottage cheese and is the best commercial cottage cheese I have had here except for home-made.

But home-made still doesn't match the Danish hytte ret; at least not yet, but I am working on it.
posted by bz at 7:54 PM on July 1, 2018


Oh, and blended cottage cheese is much better than sour cream.
posted by bz at 8:30 PM on July 1, 2018


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