I don't even mention Steamed Hams once in this post
July 2, 2018 7:43 AM   Subscribe

"Good morning, sir, how can I help y—" I'm looking for a copy of All-Star.
"Certainly, I think we have a few copies of—" Done as a Bach choral.
"Oh. Yes, Here's a Bach chorale, can I—" No, but—I meant with a vocoder.
"Vocoder Bach chorale, abso—" Wait wait no actually can you make it Ligeti?
"Ligeti. Legeti? Okay. All-Star as Ligeti, here's a—" I meant jazz, sorry, I'm sorry, have you got jazz?
"I—yes. Yes, we have All-Star as jazz. Is there anything else I can do for you today, sir?" Nope, that's it, thanks so much.
"You're very welcome, have a nice d—"
oh wait have you got any Despacito
posted by cortex (43 comments total) 36 users marked this as a favorite
 
Well, cortex, you are an odd fellow, but I must say now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
posted by zamboni at 8:07 AM on July 2, 2018 [17 favorites]


Delightfully devilish, cortex.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:22 AM on July 2, 2018 [5 favorites]


I get that people like "All Star" but it's no Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:27 AM on July 2, 2018 [13 favorites]




NPR had Smash Mouth on last weekend to discuss the remixes and their favorites. I wasn't expecting it, but the interview was silly and fun, definitely not a stuffy and serious discussion of influences. A+++++ would listen again.
posted by Alison at 8:34 AM on July 2, 2018 [2 favorites]


"Hey cortex, what's the total charge for everything?"
posted by duffell at 8:36 AM on July 2, 2018 [1 favorite]


That Desposito jazz track is still kinda a jam.
posted by Caduceus at 8:39 AM on July 2, 2018


"Is there anything in particular I can help you with?"

"I recently attended the local highland games and found myself quite enamored with the bagpipes. Where could I find a copy of 'All-Star' performed on the bagpipes?"

"Right this way, sir. We have a wide selection of renditions of 'All Star but it's Played on the Bagpipes'. It was quite the fad a little while back. I believe the young people call it a 'meme.' Hmmm. Judging by your 'Justice League T-shirt, I'd gather you're a comics aficionado?"

"Why yes!"

"Well, since it appears that you happen to be a fan of the DC universe, I can't recommend 'All Star by Smash Mouth but it is played on Bagpipes but it is Superman's Funeral' highly enough."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:39 AM on July 2, 2018 [9 favorites]


Okay, I posted that last comment before he started singing. That's funny but not as much of a jam.
posted by Caduceus at 8:40 AM on July 2, 2018 [1 favorite]


"Is this Despacito 2?" is the new "Is this Loss?"
posted by tobascodagama at 8:47 AM on July 2, 2018 [1 favorite]


"Do you have pets?"

"I do. A dog and a cat."

"Oh! They will love 'All Star - Shittyfluted.' Be sure to play it for them when you get home."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:50 AM on July 2, 2018 [4 favorites]


Don't forget the Pokemon Despacito!
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 9:00 AM on July 2, 2018 [9 favorites]


Don't forget the Pokemon Despacito!

[me, watching that:] "Wait, what the fuck? There's a Pokemon called Kangaskhan? That's fucking bananas."
posted by Caduceus at 9:06 AM on July 2, 2018 [1 favorite]


The chorale is using Autotune or Melodyne, not a vocoder. But it is still *^@*^@ AWESOME
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:11 AM on July 2, 2018


So glad the player piano is back, of a sort.

We can never have enough Stop Player, Joke Number 4
posted by chavenet at 9:11 AM on July 2, 2018


I wish I had a recording of the madrigal version of "Bad Romance" my old chamber choir did.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:21 AM on July 2, 2018 [4 favorites]


"I consider myself something of a meme connoisseur. Do you have an All Star involving SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET?"

"Why yes sir, I think this will suit your needs nicely."
posted by Sangermaine at 9:21 AM on July 2, 2018 [8 favorites]


I will get a laugh out of SOMEBODY TORCHA MY SPAGHET if it kills me.
posted by cortex at 9:32 AM on July 2, 2018 [6 favorites]


Protip: Open tabs for all of the above links and play them simultaneously until another occupant of the house shouts "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" from another room.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:41 AM on July 2, 2018 [21 favorites]


Surely, we are living in the End Times.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:44 AM on July 2, 2018 [1 favorite]


I can't help but want a sequel to Endless Jingling that mixes and matches different styles of All Star... forever.

Do not ask why I want this.
posted by delfin at 9:49 AM on July 2, 2018 [5 favorites]


play them simultaneously until another occupant of the house shouts "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" from another room

I live alone and I am reasonably certain that doing this would cause someone to spontaneously manifest in my home to yell at me.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:50 AM on July 2, 2018 [16 favorites]


I approve of this.
posted by Fizz at 10:16 AM on July 2, 2018


I live alone and I am reasonably certain that doing this would cause someone to spontaneously manifest in my home to yell at me.

TRUE FACT if you do this it will summon Ingrid Bergman and Hiroyuki Sanada but all they'll do is become best friends and talk about how disappointing you are.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 10:34 AM on July 2, 2018 [6 favorites]


I will get a laugh out of SOMEBODY TORCHA MY SPAGHET if it kills me.

For Cortex.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:44 AM on July 2, 2018


Cortex: Hmm I'm talking a lot about people posting more...
Cortex: I should put my money where my mouth is and do more FPPs myself!
Cortex: But what *is* the best of the web?
Cortex:....
Cortex: MEMES
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 11:06 AM on July 2, 2018 [9 favorites]


The worst part is I've got a couple of really great links I'm excited about lined up, and was totally gonna post one when I got up, but then...the world rolled me.
posted by cortex at 11:18 AM on July 2, 2018 [6 favorites]


I suddenly find myself wondering how much money a post like this makes for Smash Mouth. CORTEX IN PAYOLA SCANDAL.
posted by egypturnash at 11:39 AM on July 2, 2018


Don't forget the Pokemon Despacito!

This is a thing of beauty that legit brought tears to my eyes.
posted by NMcCoy at 11:40 AM on July 2, 2018




alright, I've changed my mind, my post is actually about this Pokemon Despacito thing
posted by cortex at 11:52 AM on July 2, 2018 [1 favorite]


top comment of second video:
"So what's wrong with taking the Bach streets?"
posted by numaner at 1:15 PM on July 2, 2018 [10 favorites]


the pokemon despacito is now the official and only version of despacito i'm sorry i don't make the rules

zubat, zubat, zubat. zubat zubat.
posted by mhum at 1:27 PM on July 2, 2018 [2 favorites]


alright, I've changed my mind, my post is actually about this Pokemon Despacito thing

sudowoodo is the linux command to run the system as a block of wood
posted by numaner at 1:49 PM on July 2, 2018 [3 favorites]


I've known some sysadmins that fit that description.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:51 PM on July 2, 2018 [1 favorite]


"Is this Despacito 2?" is the new "Is this Loss?"

Metafilter: .jpg
posted by numaner at 2:04 PM on July 2, 2018 [2 favorites]


Drake having both reactions to that same image in each case
posted by cortex at 2:08 PM on July 2, 2018 [2 favorites]


I'm pretty sure I found this here, but no All Star thread is complete without this All Star.
posted by ApathyGirl at 4:01 PM on July 2, 2018 [3 favorites]


Dave Pacheco:
Some BODY once told me
Your plums
were in the icebox
Forgive me
for this breakfast disgrace

I was looking kinda dumb
with a plate
all full of plums
so sweet
so cold
and stuffed in my face
posted by numaner at 8:19 AM on July 3, 2018 [11 favorites]


Oh look I have a new favourite Metafilter thread
posted by Ziggy500 at 8:55 AM on July 3, 2018


So if you add Negative Harmony All-Star to the original, you get Ligeti All-Star?

(also, oh my god, pokemon despacito)
posted by batter_my_heart at 12:08 AM on July 4, 2018 [1 favorite]


Matthew Dean, QTing Dave Pacheco:
WELL
the juice starts runnin
from the icebox plum and
Each is so sweet
and so cold I get numb and
Didn't make sense
not to eat those plums
Forgive me, love,
but I had me some.

This is to say,
that was to eat,
So what's wrong with eating
your saved treat?
posted by numaner at 9:04 AM on July 4, 2018 [2 favorites]


this thread got through the chorus:

Liam Wiltshire:
Was very nice, didn't you know,
So very nice, get me some mo'

Ben Kaestner-Frenchman:
Hey this
Is just to say
That I ate your
Plums mate

Liam Wiltshire:
Plum juice
Going all ways
Running down from
My face

Jai:
All that dribbles is gold
All Plum trees never grow mold
posted by numaner at 9:15 AM on July 4, 2018


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