Inside ‘Roe v. Wade’
July 10, 2018 1:43 PM   Subscribe

 
I have "Stephen Baldwin walked away" as my low bar setting for virtually everything, so wow.
posted by nevercalm at 1:45 PM on July 10 [55 favorites]


I really hope they finish the production and get this released. I can't imagine this being anything other than a backfire of epic proportions.

Also, how is Kirk Cameron not in this?
posted by sp160n at 1:51 PM on July 10 [24 favorites]


the drinking game fodder on this one will be strong . . . if it ever gets made.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 1:52 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]


Featuring Milo Yiannopoulos

And the bar just got lower!
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:53 PM on July 10 [9 favorites]


Essential extra reading: this parody script from Mike Drucker (via Vacuumslayer at LGM).
posted by col_pogo at 1:53 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]


Wow. When I first heard about this, I tweeted "Are they going to get Kevin Sorbo, Kirk Cameron and Chachi in this for maximum shitshow?" And now I found out I got one out of three were actually involved. I can't tell if I should be sad or buy a lottery ticket.
posted by mephron at 1:55 PM on July 10 [7 favorites]


Why are conservatives so bad at literally everything resembling human culture?
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:58 PM on July 10 [59 favorites]


Then comes a scene that declares access to abortion is a malevolent plot to eradicate “the Negro population.” This sinister scene comes from a conservative-favored conspiracy theory that takes a quote from birth control activist Margaret Sanger wildly out of context.

Of course conservatives would say it's their love for black babies that drives their desire to end abortion. Weird how their support for these babies ends the instant they're born.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:59 PM on July 10 [22 favorites]


I'm proud friends with someone who threw shit at Milo. Yay!
posted by yueliang at 2:04 PM on July 10 [31 favorites]


Came here for the Kirk Cameron snark, was not disappointed.

In Yiannopoulos’ yet-to-be-filmed scene, Dr. Nathanson (Loeb) witnesses Dr. Sopher (Milo)—who is described in the script as “an Anglo-Jew from India, with an unusual habit of an awkward giggle at the end of every sentence” ...

And anti-Semitic to boot, woo-hoo!
posted by Melismata at 2:04 PM on July 10 [6 favorites]


No Scott Baio?
posted by porn in the woods at 2:15 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]


Why are conservatives so bad at literally everything resembling human culture?
posted by Faint of Butt


Because they are so damn bad at being human.
posted by Splunge at 2:20 PM on July 10 [40 favorites]


This is gonna go on Amazon, eh? They have a massive amount of dreck streaming with Prime. This one would feel right at home in that punchbowl...
posted by The Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas at 2:20 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]


Well, The Mighty Boosh is available for streaming on Amazon now. So we have that going for us.
posted by Splunge at 2:24 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]


Why are conservatives so bad at literally everything resembling human culture?

You can't really create a strong script using nothing but talking points and memes. It requires a deeper understanding of what it is to be human to create a work of art than to create your typical Tonight Show monologue.

To whit, you might rile up the base with two hours of triggering-the-libs one-liners, but if you don't have a character or two that your audience is going to emphasize with on a deeper level, your script sucks.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:27 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]


Are there any rules prohibiting a cabinet member, such as HUD Secretary, from appearing in a movie?
posted by TedW at 2:27 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]


an Anglo-Jew from India,

Still pretending to be Jewish, is he?
posted by maxsparber at 2:30 PM on July 10 [7 favorites]


"Just looking at our cast of people, this isn’t playing out like a low-budget film."

Guess again.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 2:30 PM on July 10 [6 favorites]


Jon Voight, Robert Davi, Corbin Bernsen, John Schneider, Richard Portnow, Wade Williams, William Forsythe, Steve Guttenberg...

Man, that cast list reads like a veritable Who's Who That? of Hollywood.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:41 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]


So, Corbin Bernsen, John Schneider, and Steve Guttenberg haven't dropped out? I know their careers aren't exactly on fire, but when Stephen Baldwin decides a project is beneath him, it's time to jump ship.
posted by Mavri at 2:45 PM on July 10 [9 favorites]


> "It requires a deeper understanding of what it is to be human to create a work of art than to create your typical Tonight Show monologue."

So why do they also suck at creating your typical Tonight Show monologue?
posted by kyrademon at 2:53 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]


I know Kevin Sorbo is a terrible person who never got over Xena being more popular or whatever, but now I really kinda do want to see him as a Supreme Court justice.
posted by grandiloquiet at 2:54 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]


The anti-abortion movement has been trying to link abortion to "Black genocide" for years. That push has come, at least in part, from African American religious conservatives. By focusing on hyperbole and fearmongering, they deny African American women their human right to bodily autonomy and reproductive justice.

The SisterSong organization has more on this. They focus on abortion as a human right and note that most mainstream pro-choice organizations only push the ability to choose to have an abortion (or not) as their primary goal, rather than promoting widespread access to abortion, which is extremely important to marginalized, poor women. Especially if they are women of color.
Even when abortion is legal, many women of color cannot afford it, or cannot travel hundreds of miles to the nearest clinic. There is no choice where there is no access. Not just about abortion. Abortion access is critical, and women of color and other marginalized women also often have difficulty accessing: contraception, comprehensive sex education, STI prevention and care, alternative birth options, adequate prenatal and pregnancy care, domestic violence assistance, adequate wages to support our families, safe homes, and so much more.
If those pushing the "Black genocide" rhetoric really gave a damn about their communities, they'd be fighting for the women who live on the margins. Those directly affected by a lack of access to abortion, healthcare and assistance. But their priorities are skewed.
--
This movie sounds like a train wreck.

Good.
posted by zarq at 3:04 PM on July 10 [20 favorites]


"Why are conservatives so bad at literally everything resembling human culture?"

"Millions of words have been written about the conservative persecution complex, and how despite holding power and wielding it brutally for centuries, conservatives—and white Christian men in particular—have a constant sense of grievance that the world is treating them, per their leader’s favorite term of art, “unfairly.” Part of this is the result of con artistry by a never-ending series of manipulative hucksters scamming them to get votes for policies that benefit the wealthy. Part of it is bigoted anger that the world is not centering Christian white men quite as much as it always did.

But at a certain level, this tired conservative whine is correct: the people who lead and create culture don’t respect them. Artists, actors, inventors, comedians, entrepreneurs, academics, musicians, journalists and professionals across almost all creative industries have no patience for what passes for modern conservatism. And why should they?"

...

"Culture is created mostly in urban environments, where traditions and ethnicities and influences mix and merge, often in conflict and often in cooperation, creating new understandings and new experiences. Goods and ideas are traded. People are more free to express their identity than elsewhere. Cities are also economic powerhouses. Large companies are centered there, picking the best possible talent. Artists congregate for inspiration. Universities absorb and interpret these influences free of old doctrines."

— David Atkins, The Washington Monthly, Conservatives Will Never Get the Respect They Crave. They Don’t Deserve It.
posted by bz at 3:07 PM on July 10 [53 favorites]


Oh to be young and in New Orleans at at time like this. It would be a shame if chanting crowds of young people were to track down this production they way the youths do today on the interwebs and "disrupt" their activities. I imagine a few people with sirens or bull/air horns could ruin a few takes of their "LENNY" Riefenstahl propaganda film.
posted by Megafly at 3:09 PM on July 10 [7 favorites]


How quickly forget that Kirk Cameron has already argued abortion in front of the Supreme Court in 1989's dismal Listen to Me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:14 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]


So why do they also suck at creating your typical Tonight Show monologue?

I got this: because they're humorless chucklefucks.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:19 PM on July 10 [7 favorites]


After Fox and Friends and MAGA hats...I dunno, how bad would this movie have to be for its audience to notice?
posted by grandiloquiet at 3:20 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]


Oh Steve Guttenberg, you are sullying the good name of the Police Academy franchise by associating with all these hacks!
posted by Saxon Kane at 3:26 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]


Anyone seen the script? Will there be vampires? Gotta be vamps.
posted by sammyo at 3:47 PM on July 10


[Couple comments removed; let's skip the ironic anti-semitism, it has the poor quality of resembling the actual anti-semitism.]
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:51 PM on July 10 [43 favorites]


Despite the fact that I can't think of Kevin Sorbo without thinking of his questionable comments about Jews, and my own apparently obvious Jewishness, I actually wish I could see him playing a Supreme Court Justice. Quick, someone write a part that isn't somehow beneath him!

Part of me doubts that this will actually be finished. It's not a good sign that the DP quit and they took it upon themselves to film everything. Not that it sounds like it ever would have been coherent anyway, but I'm like 75% sure they're making huge mistakes that'll make it literally impossible to edit together. I love that one of the actors had to explain that a director doesn't say "now make a face like this!" as part of their job.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 3:57 PM on July 10


I saw Mara Wilson in the article's title and went NO, NO, NO, NO! until I read it and realized that that's exactly what Mara said.
posted by delfin at 4:07 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]


they should get the DP that did battlefield earth and do the whole thing in dutch angles, just to make sure it's definitely the worst movie ever made and not just a contender
posted by cj_ at 4:08 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]


Somewhere Joel Hodgson is rubbing a knife and fork together like a hungry cartoon wolf.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 4:15 PM on July 10 [24 favorites]


wait, this is by ONION CRUNCH Nick Loeb?!? I have to plug the Relentless Picnic podcast episode on this, "The Frozen Babies Go to Court," which plumbs the depths of this guy's insanity. Very worth listening to.
posted by demonic winged headgear at 4:36 PM on July 10


A new item was added to my bucket list today: "Come up with an idea so bad, Kevin Sorbo nopes the fuck out"
posted by duffell at 4:45 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]


No Scott Baio?

Did Baio bail?
posted by New Frontier at 4:48 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]


Part of the ability to tell a story is empathy. If you don’t have that, all of your characters become mouthpieces for talking points. It’s the one the mechanisms that prevents conservatives from recognizing or creating humor.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 4:52 PM on July 10 [17 favorites]


You know, Jesus. Smart, interesting guy. Real turn of phrase. But Jesus, this is not a funny guy. Not a real jokester, this Jesus.
posted by lumpenprole at 5:06 PM on July 10


[after Sorbo and Baldwin quit] “That’s where it started as far as not sending out full scripts to actors, because they backed out and then it was a mad rush to find people to be the Supreme Court justices, and when they got on set they had no idea what they were doing. They didn’t get their lines until they got on set. They were kept in the dark,” according to a crew member.

Excuse me, I think I'm actively crying with laughter. Oh my god.
posted by sciatrix at 5:07 PM on July 10 [19 favorites]


The Daily Beast has commentary on a leaked copy of the famous script.

The year is 1966, and elderly Margaret Sanger, the world’s preeminent birth-control activist, is speaking to Larry Lader on her deathbed. Just before she passes, her dying words to Lader are as follows: “We do not want word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population,” she says. “Larry, they can’t see this coming.” The reproductive rights movement is thus framed by the film as a racist plot on a par with Hitler’s Final Solution.

I.... well then.
posted by sciatrix at 5:16 PM on July 10 [15 favorites]


Kirk Cameron has already argued abortion in front of the Supreme Court in 1989's dismal Listen to Me.

Right. So that's why he can't be in this. It would be like, double jeopardy, or something.

In which the clue values are doubled, and there are two Daily Doubles.
posted by Naberius at 5:34 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]


I thought Tomi Lahren was allegedly pro choice.
posted by Selena777 at 5:36 PM on July 10


sciatrix, that Daily Beast link... just... ye gods. Wow.

If released, this movie will be watched by everyone from my fundamentalist aunt to my fundamentalist uncle.
posted by duffell at 5:58 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]


I look forward to hearing The Flop House review of this.
posted by Liquidwolf at 6:06 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]


What really pisses me off is that this will be added to the otherwise noble pantheon of bizarre fuckin' movies made by completely clueless and incompetent rich guys. He brings down the noble names of Harold P. Warren, Mark Region, and Tommy Wiseau.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 6:31 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]


(For more on "Why bigots are Bad at Things," there is this amazing tweet thread from N.K. Jemisin from last month.)
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 6:32 PM on July 10 [9 favorites]


I have "Stephen Baldwin walked away" as my low bar setting for virtually everything, so wow.

Baldwin’s daughter just got engaged to Justin Bieber, so that’s a pretty solid metric to have.

One thing I also note about all the conservative actors supposedly involved is that most of them aren’t very good actors. Presumably the explanation for this is pretty much the same given by NK Jemisin’s above thread about why they don’t make very good writers.
posted by Autumnheart at 7:12 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]


i just read a really good article about how the entire conservative obsession with abortion was completely fabricated to cover for racism, and christian communities cared not at all about abortion until years after Roe was decided... all thanks to a link from some weird website...
posted by wibari at 7:17 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]


There's no way this can end up being as spectacularly bad as it seems like it should.
Probably just going to be dull and incoherent if it gets finished at all.
posted by bongo_x at 7:33 PM on July 10


Pro-lifers are only concerned about the fact that they aren’t solely in charge of deciding who deserves to live. That’s why they work so hard to dismantle the social safety net and access to preventative reproductive medicine and education.
posted by Autumnheart at 7:59 PM on July 10 [9 favorites]


The very worst thing that could happen to this film is if they actually finish it and get it released. If it dies before birth, the creators look like heroes to the right because they tried. But if they carry it to term then everyone will see how awful propaganda can be, and they'll be shamed.
posted by Kevin Street at 8:41 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]


But if they carry it to term

Heh.

and they'll be shamed.

The problem is, if they were capable of shame, they wouldn't be making this thing in the first place.
posted by soundguy99 at 8:49 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]


In addition to Sanger, the villains of Roe v. Wade are undoubtedly the abortion-rights movement’s inner circle, consisting of Larry Lader, Cyril Means, Dr. Nathanson and Betty Friedan. They’re depicted as a shady cabal of rich lefty Jews who meet in exotic locations like St. Croix and the Russian Tea Room to boast about the money they’re raking in through abortions—over daiquiris or pastrami sandwiches. “It pays to fight for a good cause!” Lader exclaims at one point before the crew clinks martini glasses; at another, Dr. Nathanson sings a song that goes “There’s a fortune… in abortion,” which he’d referenced in his book Aborting America.

The film posits that the abortion-rights’ activists “have Hollywood on their side,” and paid $10,000 for Golden Girls’ famous abortion episode (it was Maude, not Golden Girls), as well as “put pro abortion stories into TV shows and movies” like Cabaret. They’re also said to have influence over the media, with Lader boasting, “We control the media… They write whatever we tell them.” If that weren’t enough, there’s a sequence at the Playboy Mansion where Playboy Playmates are auctioned off as dates, with all the money raised going towards Planned Parenthood and NARAL.


So...

To recap, the film portrays Jews as greedy bloodthirsty baby killers who control Hollywood, the media and apparently the entire pro-choice movement while celebrating over daiquiris and pastrami sandwiches.

Folks, I think this movie may be a wee bit anti-Semitic.
posted by zarq at 10:41 PM on July 10 [18 favorites]


Who on earth has a daiquiri with a pastrami sandwich?

::starts thinking about how to make a daiquiri with Dr. Brown's celery soda::
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:12 AM on July 11 [2 favorites]


all thanks to a link from some weird website...

Dont' believe anything you read there. They're clearly biased.
posted by Naberius at 4:18 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]


Who on earth has a daiquiri with a pastrami sandwich?

It's a shanda!
posted by zarq at 4:41 AM on July 11 [4 favorites]


I have to say I'm bummed about Corbin Bernsen being a part of this. I love him in Psych, and thus hate to think of him as one of these nuts.
posted by BlahLaLa at 7:25 AM on July 11 [8 favorites]


Frankly, I think we should suspend the whole project and hand it over to the Insane Clown Posse to direct and produce. At least Big Money Rustlas had a SCRIPT.
posted by delfin at 7:56 AM on July 11 [2 favorites]


Saw John Schneider in something recently (I think it was Curb Your Enthusiasm!?) and thought, is that the Dukes of Hazzard guy? That's cool. I would have pegged him for one of those blowhard Hollywood conservatives. Nice to see he's still working and doing interesting stuff against type (at least the way I had him typed).

Then I see him here and I'm totally baffled.

But a quick Google got me sorted out:

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/06/13/john-schneider-speaks-out-after-leaving-jail-says-theres-bias-against-conservatives-in-hollywood.html

(Decided not to hyperlink that link. I think the URL probably says all you need to know.)
posted by bunbury at 8:02 AM on July 11 [2 favorites]


The very worst thing that could happen to this film is if they actually finish it and get it released. If it dies before birth, the creators look like heroes to the right because they tried. But if they carry it to term then everyone will see how awful propaganda can be, and they'll be shamed.

I mean the way this has to happen is the movie must be made, can't be aborted, but once it's completed they don't market it or attempt to get it into theatres, right, because that would be a leg up it hasn't earned for itself.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:15 AM on July 11 [6 favorites]


Schneider is politically conservative and a self-described "practicing Christian." He's made at least a couple of pro-life films in the past. But he said back in 2012 to THR that he considers himself open-minded on most subjects and that he doesn't consider himself a "militant" Christian who forces his beliefs on others.
THR: Are you pro life?

Schneider: I am until somebody offers up an argument that filters through my current belief system and changes my mind. My mind has been changed on many things. Not on that, but I don’t believe in forcing my beliefs on someone else.

THR: Is it tough being pro-life in Hollywood?

Schneider: If it’s tough believing what you believe, then maybe it’s time to move. But if you are someone who militantly enforces your opinion about anything, then you need to get out of town.

THR: Who are the militant people doing that?

Schneider: They’re the ones throwing red paint at people’s fur, or bombing abortion clinics, or calling pro-life people ignorant. They’re people threatening those who don’t support gay marriage, or threatening those who do support it. I can’t imagine somebody feeling that their relationship with their creator – whoever he or she may be – is so solid that they have time to get into my shit about my belief system.
Seems like it would be difficult to fit that philosophy in with making this kind of movie.
posted by zarq at 8:41 AM on July 11 [2 favorites]


Seems like it would be difficult to fit that philosophy in with making this kind of movie.

I'm sure it would be difficult, if it were in fact a philosophy and not a fig leaf.
posted by duffell at 8:47 AM on July 11 [6 favorites]


Yeah i tend to think of false equivalency as a rhetorical tactic much more than a philosopy. . .
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 8:57 AM on July 11


Having read interviews with him in the past about why he's been working on Christian films and why he founded a "family friendly" production company, I'm honestly not convinced it's a fig leaf.
posted by zarq at 9:00 AM on July 11


throwing red paint at people’s fur, or bombing abortion clinics, or calling pro-life people ignorant

One of these things is not like the others…
posted by Lexica at 10:22 AM on July 11 [14 favorites]


I hope, if this movie does get released, someone sneaks into the projection room and swaps it out for a copy of The Room.
posted by DrAstroZoom at 1:30 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]


What really pisses me off is that this will be added to the otherwise noble pantheon of bizarre fuckin' movies made by completely clueless and incompetent rich guys. He brings down the noble names of Harold P. Warren, Mark Region, and Tommy Wiseau.

Don't know the other guys, but we're talking about Tommy "look, I made a movie where you sort-of sympathize with the abusive fiancee (if you sympathize with anyone) rather than the gaslit woman who can't tell he's abusive 'cause her parent is also an abusive gaslighter and she's never had any decent human beings in her life" Wiseau?

posted by eviemath at 5:33 PM on July 11


Yes, him. The joke was that those guys all made very bad movies about very bad stuff, and yet this is somehow many times worse by being about Jews secretly conspiring to kill Black people by foisting abortion on an innocent public. I was using the word "noble" ironically.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 6:03 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]


'Roe v. Wade’ Movie Crew Member Assaulted Reporter
While it had been filming in Louisiana, the Roe crew arrived at the Lincoln Memorial in D.C. at dawn on Thursday to film actors Corbin Bernsen and Wade Williams, who play two Supreme Court justices in the movie about the landmark 1973 court decision. But as the cameras rolled, a man later identified by police as a member of the crew came over to where I was sitting in public space with a group of tourists and grabbed my notepad out of my hand by force.

The man hid my notepad in his pocket and began quickly walking away down the steps of the monument. The crew member refused to give the notebook back as he walked away, and insisted that I stop following him.

As he walked down the monument’s steps, the crew member ripped my notes out of the notepad, handed the notepad back, and crumpled up the notes. Then he continued walking away with the pages, stopping briefly at the production’s snack table.

I called the police. A Park Police officer eventually stopped the man, who slipped the notes into his bag and claimed he didn’t have them. He eventually surrendered the notes to the officer after being searched.

The officer declined to stop the man, reveal his name, file an incident report, or talk to other members of the crew, insisting that the problem had already been solved.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:08 AM on July 12 [3 favorites]


I foresee this movie being released directly into the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart, as a "buy one, get three free" compilation with the Atlas Shrugged trilogy.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 12:49 PM on July 12 [4 favorites]


Too bad Sorbo dropped out. You could package it with God's Not Dead and Let There Be Light.
posted by brundlefly at 2:37 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]




It has. Dean Cain's in it. Filmmakers have been working on a project since 2014. It's one of the highest crowdfunded projects of all time. No one wanted to pick it up, in part very probably because the mental image of murdered newborns and chopped up fetus parts was a step too far. Movie will be released in theaters in limited distribution later this year. Background.

There was also a bestselling book.
posted by zarq at 6:34 AM on July 15


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