Boy assumes the guise of a Pamela Anderson-like character in a chatroom.
July 13, 2018 5:36 PM Subscribe
Then he meets the guy of his dreams. This is a (hilarious) recording of a live reading that delves into gender, sexuality, and online dating. You'll laugh but also feel for the narrator and the guy he catfishes.
It really baffles me that people are describing this as so funny. It's affecting and has some chuckles, but... hilarious? The audience sure didn't seem to be rolling in the aisles. I wouldn't have thought it was supposed to be particularly funny, but the author's Twitter is hyping an "AB WORKOUT from all the lolz" so it seems like that's how he sees it too.
I'm trans, so maybe I just can't find the lolz in this that cis people apparently do. (Or maybe other trans folks think it's hilarious too. I'm not trying to speak for them. I'm also assuming the author is gay but not trans, and maybe I'm wrong there.) I thought this was a good story and the actor did a fine job reading it. I'm not trying to hate on this. But honestly, I have stories of youthful "catfishing" chatroom adventures that are way more extreme and cringe-y than this, and I suspect many trans people around my age do too. I could relate to a lot of it, but it just seemed like kind of a bittersweet coming-of-age anecdote to me and not like the laugh riot the author intended and other people seem to be hearing.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:23 PM on July 13, 2018 [10 favorites]
I'm trans, so maybe I just can't find the lolz in this that cis people apparently do. (Or maybe other trans folks think it's hilarious too. I'm not trying to speak for them. I'm also assuming the author is gay but not trans, and maybe I'm wrong there.) I thought this was a good story and the actor did a fine job reading it. I'm not trying to hate on this. But honestly, I have stories of youthful "catfishing" chatroom adventures that are way more extreme and cringe-y than this, and I suspect many trans people around my age do too. I could relate to a lot of it, but it just seemed like kind of a bittersweet coming-of-age anecdote to me and not like the laugh riot the author intended and other people seem to be hearing.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:23 PM on July 13, 2018 [10 favorites]
Yeah, interesting, I had a similar reaction to Ursula Hitler. I read the original essay and found it... melancholic? Sad? Mildly upsetting? A lot of things, but definitely not comedic. This is also not a dig at the post or at the actor, just noting that tone can really change perception.
posted by third word on a random page at 2:16 AM on July 14, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by third word on a random page at 2:16 AM on July 14, 2018 [3 favorites]
I read this and found it sad - it's a good piece on the ways that even online where you can be anyone and no one will ever have to know, there's so little space to be queer and so much pressure to fit in somehow with cisheterosexist roles and expectations. I totally get doing this as part of trying to find yourself, but it's so sad that when he makes this connection he can't tell the guy he connected with, he has to cut it off instead.
posted by bile and syntax at 6:56 AM on July 14, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by bile and syntax at 6:56 AM on July 14, 2018 [2 favorites]
Sad and true aren't contradictory. I just don't really get where it's supposed to be funny.
posted by bile and syntax at 10:55 AM on July 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by bile and syntax at 10:55 AM on July 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
IME, humor derived from sadness also often has a privilege component. A certainty that it would never happen to them, the audience.
While there's certainly humor based on privilege, where we're supposed to laugh at somebody else's pain or humiliation without empathizing with them, I think with a lot of cringe comedy it's more the laugh of painful recognition. Freaks and Geeks, Spinal Tap and the UK Office are full of moments where we laugh at the folly of the characters, but the characters also become lovable to us so even as we're snickering at their humiliation we can also probably relate to it somewhat. Even with more extreme stuff like Strangers with Candy or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the characters are much broader and caricatured but they're also kind of pathetic and relatable in some weird way. They're like pure id or grown-up children. Humor with zero empathy, like Family Guy or some Adult Swim stuff, tends to get stale fast... unless the viewer is a stoned fratboy.
With this story I'm assuming people are laughing in recognition, that it's reminding them of some of aspect of their own youthful misadventures. I think you'd kind of have to have some empathy to find it amusing, because if you were in it for sadistic chuckles it's pretty weak tea. There's no "comeuppance" or embarrassing reveal, the struggle is internal. To me it didn't really work as cringe comedy, because, as I said, I think many trans people probably have MUCH more cringe-y tales to tell!
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:54 PM on July 15, 2018
While there's certainly humor based on privilege, where we're supposed to laugh at somebody else's pain or humiliation without empathizing with them, I think with a lot of cringe comedy it's more the laugh of painful recognition. Freaks and Geeks, Spinal Tap and the UK Office are full of moments where we laugh at the folly of the characters, but the characters also become lovable to us so even as we're snickering at their humiliation we can also probably relate to it somewhat. Even with more extreme stuff like Strangers with Candy or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the characters are much broader and caricatured but they're also kind of pathetic and relatable in some weird way. They're like pure id or grown-up children. Humor with zero empathy, like Family Guy or some Adult Swim stuff, tends to get stale fast... unless the viewer is a stoned fratboy.
With this story I'm assuming people are laughing in recognition, that it's reminding them of some of aspect of their own youthful misadventures. I think you'd kind of have to have some empathy to find it amusing, because if you were in it for sadistic chuckles it's pretty weak tea. There's no "comeuppance" or embarrassing reveal, the struggle is internal. To me it didn't really work as cringe comedy, because, as I said, I think many trans people probably have MUCH more cringe-y tales to tell!
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:54 PM on July 15, 2018
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posted by West87thStreet at 5:37 PM on July 13, 2018