Doot doo doo doo. Doot doot doo doo doo...
July 19, 2018 12:56 PM   Subscribe

Hollywood home for sale. Perfect for large family with housekeeper, dog*. Space for a live-in cousin. Attic can be converted to bedroom for your oldest girl boy. Not actually haunted, but there might be an occasional UFO sighting. Space in backyard for clubhouse(s) or boat restoration. Spacious living room suitable for building houses of cards.

*dog might mysteriously disappear after a year or two without anyone ever mentioning it.
posted by bondcliff (40 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
That's a... very lovely bedroom.
posted by box at 1:00 PM on July 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


I used to live in that neighborhood. This was several years ago, but I think last I remember it had big hedges/fences blocking the front so you couldn't see it that well. But still you'd see cars driving past slowly taking pictures. Not surprised they'd want to sell...
posted by downtohisturtles at 1:05 PM on July 19, 2018


Wait. I thought the Brady house was two stories? Where are the stairs?!
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:05 PM on July 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Decor does not include cursed tiki icon, vase repaired with Elmer's glue.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:05 PM on July 19, 2018 [8 favorites]


Interior of hours not suitable for ball playing.
posted by bondcliff at 1:07 PM on July 19, 2018 [6 favorites]


Featuring perfectly preserved 1970's d~cor, it boasts one of the largest lots in the neighborhood

Wait, is "decor" a dirty word now?
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:08 PM on July 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


Wait. I thought the Brady house was two stories? Where are the stairs?!

Wiki: "A false window was attached to the front's A-frame section to give the illusion that it had two full stories."
posted by bondcliff at 1:11 PM on July 19, 2018 [1 favorite]




Featuring perfectly preserved 1970's d~cor, it boasts one of the largest lots in the neighborhood

Wait, is "decor" a dirty word now?


Guessing that was an acute issue.
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:18 PM on July 19, 2018 [15 favorites]


But it certainly wasn't a grave one.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:20 PM on July 19, 2018 [13 favorites]


I once visited someone whose house did not on the outside look like the Brady Bunch house, but the interior was a deliberate imitation with the stairway and everything. They were the second owner and were not doing anything to decorate it as such, but it was one of those places were you walked in and got a weird "huh? what the hell..." rush.
posted by lagomorphius at 1:33 PM on July 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


That's a... very lovely bedroom.

I mean what do you have to do to someone to get blood spatter like THAT?!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 1:35 PM on July 19, 2018 [5 favorites]


The exterior is gorgeous. The interiors are a crime. That's not even "70s decor," it's 50s.
posted by dnash at 1:37 PM on July 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


Hollywood home for sale
That's not Hollywood! That's the Valley! (used to live like 5 blocks from this house)
posted by drewbage1847 at 1:48 PM on July 19, 2018 [11 favorites]


Apologies. I live in New England. Everything west of New York City is either Hollywood or tornado alley.
posted by bondcliff at 1:49 PM on July 19, 2018 [22 favorites]


What happened to all the original astro turf in the back yard?
posted by cmfletcher at 3:07 PM on July 19, 2018


Huh. And now I know I've lived in the Bay too long because my first thought was, "$1.8 million? That seems pretty cheap for a house that size."
posted by ananci at 3:12 PM on July 19, 2018 [15 favorites]


Note: The interiors on tv were sets. Sadly.
posted by mikelieman at 3:19 PM on July 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Huh. And now I know I've lived in the Bay too long because my first thought was, "$1.8 million? That seems pretty cheap for a house that size."

It's the Valley. It's much cheaper on that side of the hills.
posted by sideshow at 3:28 PM on July 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Growing up in a row house in New Jersey, I thought that everyone in California lived in a house like that.
posted by octothorpe at 3:36 PM on July 19, 2018


... and wanted to grow up and buy a house like that. Forty-five years later, I still live in a rowhouse (although a somewhat nicer one).
posted by octothorpe at 3:50 PM on July 19, 2018


It's a nicely designed building, both inside and out. Rip out most of the hard landscaping (and destroy the statues), burn the furniture/awnings/permets, put in windows and doors that complement the building. New bathrooms, carpets, cubpoards and closets... OK, just gut the place. It's got potential.
posted by pipeski at 4:14 PM on July 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


I was in an antique store about two years ago and I saw a box of old color slides. I don't even remember why I started holding them up to the light to look at them, except that I like old photos. I especially don't remember why I kept looking through this box of slides, because they were mostly really boring photos of church people sitting at long banquet tables at some sort of churchy event. Then I got to a picture of three smiling people looking directly into the camera, and even though I was only looking at tiny little square of oddly colored reversal film, I could tell that one long face unmistakably belonged to Ann B. Davis.

And that's why I own two or three color slides of Ann B. Davis, resplendent in the kind of turtleneck you'd expect her to wear and with a big gold cross around her neck, at some sort of Episcopalian conference. (I knew she had been really involved in the Episcopal church, which is an absolutely useless piece of trivia until you happen across a box of slides from an Episcopal banquet and you go, "Holy shit, that's Ann B. Davis at an Episcopal conference.")

I have no idea what to do with them, but I couldn't leave them in that box.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:31 PM on July 19, 2018 [31 favorites]


Looks at house. Looks at square footage. Looks at the price, and compares it to what houses are going for in Toronto right now. Thinks "wait, are they not charging extra for it being such a famous spot?"
posted by thecjm at 5:56 PM on July 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


True to the program, none of those three bathrooms has a toilet.
posted by dr_dank at 6:14 PM on July 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


The owner bought it for $61,000 . I’ll bet it gets sold as a tear-down
posted by Ideefixe at 6:52 PM on July 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


Well, I had just crafted a great comment to Melismata's posting before it got taken down as a duplicate. I'll try to repeat it here: Where is the front window? Where is Alice's cell room? For the love of god, where is the seesaw that Bobby and Cindy used to try and break the world record?

Oh, never mind.
posted by sundrop at 8:16 PM on July 19, 2018


"$1.8 million? That seems pretty cheap for a house that size."

The Dittmeyers still live next door and they have not changed.
posted by rhizome at 8:45 PM on July 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


Of course the right thing for the new owners to do is to rehang the fake window.
posted by rhizome at 8:45 PM on July 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


You know, the Brady Bunch Movie was actually pretty great.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:03 PM on July 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


The Brady Bunch Movie is the best film adaptation of a TV series yet, and I've said so since just about its release, and it hasn't been bested. It's literally perfect, and perfectly cast, so much that I can't decide if Shelly Long was obvious or inspired.
posted by rhizome at 10:29 PM on July 19, 2018 [6 favorites]


It has been proven that the floor plan of the studio set you see on TV bears no relation to the interior of the real house you see from outside.
posted by w0mbat at 10:56 PM on July 19, 2018


Those first two photos are really a fantastic illustration of the way that lighting can change the way you see something. The first picture, with the warm golden lights, is a gorgeous and inviting home--the second, without it, is a boring, flat midcentury house. It's a thing I understand intellectually, but rarely see examples of. Neat.
posted by mishafletch at 12:18 AM on July 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


Just don't play ball in the house
posted by chavenet at 4:20 AM on July 20, 2018


w0mbat: "It has been proven that the floor plan of the studio set you see on TV bears no relation to the interior of the real house you see from outside."

Obviously designed by the same architect as the Overlook Hotel.
posted by octothorpe at 5:06 AM on July 20, 2018


RhizomeIt's literally perfect, and perfectly cast, so much that I can't decide if Shelly Long was obvious or inspired.

Not to mention Gary Cole’s excellent Mike Brady. Casting was spot-on; you couldn’t tell if you were watching a tribute or a parody and that’s what made it funny.
posted by dr_dank at 5:53 AM on July 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


Yeah, the Brady Bunch movie is amazing. I was staying with some friends once and we were channel surfing and it was on and I suggested we watch it but people started murmuring about how they hated the Brady Bunch and I just didn't have the energy to explain the concept of the film.

I was watching a clip the other day and the woman who played Marsha is just... dead on, as is Shelly Long. The rest of them are all well done but not as perfect. Jan with the voices in her head.
posted by bondcliff at 6:34 AM on July 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


The best picture is the kitty in the driveway in one of the evening exterior shots. Sold!
posted by TwoStride at 9:09 AM on July 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


Cats are the bowl of fruit of exterior house shots.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:26 AM on July 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


I was excited when I saw Christopher Daniel Barnes was playing Greg, because he had been on a now forgotten sitcom called Day By Day, that had a Brady-themed dream episode. Ann B. Davis, Florence Henderson, Christopher Knight, Mike Lookinland, Maureen McCormick, and Robert Reed all guest starred.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:45 AM on July 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


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