Penguin of the Month Club
July 20, 2018 4:43 AM   Subscribe

 
Aw, poor Tall Matt.
posted by sacchan at 4:51 AM on July 20 [5 favorites]


They’re all good penguins, Brent
posted by caution live frogs at 4:56 AM on July 20 [13 favorites]


Obviously it was important to construct this catalog of Mo's villainy, but my fan fiction is going to about the obviously-complicated relationship between Tux and poor Timmy.
posted by flyingisfearfulofme at 5:13 AM on July 20 [6 favorites]


Burny is the vigilante anti-hero penguin we didn't know we needed.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:15 AM on July 20 [14 favorites]


Team Flip: "Strong on the fundamentals and don't put up with BS"
posted by achrise at 5:20 AM on July 20 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I remember that picture. Every time I look at it, I laugh
posted by NoMich at 5:28 AM on July 20


I think Mr Mac being both a Naughty Penguin and a Good Penguin says something about he duality of man (or penguin)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:39 AM on July 20 [5 favorites]


Timmy is trying SO HARD to do better and he just keeps being punished for it and, well, MOOD.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 6:39 AM on July 20 [8 favorites]


Penguin''s inpenguinity to penguin.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 6:40 AM on July 20 [11 favorites]


There are many naughty penguins, but Timmy's name will go down in history above all others.
posted by tommasz at 6:42 AM on July 20


Ohhh, I needed this on a Friday morning, thanks!
posted by desuetude at 6:58 AM on July 20


It’s probably just the unexamined privilege of a tall man that makes me think this but I feel like if Dora got to know me she’d really like me. And I wouldn’t shame her for wanting an escort at feeding time, either; it makes sense that a lady would want someone to watch her back with fuckin’ Mo stealing fish and dropping them in the fuckin’ sand.

Fuckin’ Mo. Always into something.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 7:19 AM on July 20 [6 favorites]


I feel ya, Timmy. You keep climbin' up that pier, keep runnin' up that hill.
posted by tclark at 7:38 AM on July 20 [4 favorites]


Mo is like a penguin Napoleon of Crime.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:38 AM on July 20 [5 favorites]


I need this at work, to rate my coworkers
posted by Gorgik at 7:40 AM on July 20 [4 favorites]


Which of your coworkers steals fish right from your mouth?
posted by moonmilk at 7:54 AM on July 20 [17 favorites]


I’m not sure if the lessons learned from Penguin Management Techniques will transfer properly to employee management.

From now on the primary acronym for “PM” is Penguin Manager.
posted by q*ben at 7:57 AM on July 20 [4 favorites]


EATS FIRST AND LEAVES FIRST

...it me
posted by theatro at 8:07 AM on July 20 [15 favorites]


Which of your coworkers steals fish right from your mouth?

I had an asshole of a c-level try to push me off a project after it took me 8 months to get there, so I sympathize with Timmy.
posted by Gorgik at 9:07 AM on July 20 [5 favorites]


the saga of timmy as both pusher and pushed is quite gripping
posted by poffin boffin at 9:07 AM on July 20 [8 favorites]


Whew, that was a ride. *shakes fist at Mo
posted by arcticwoman at 9:50 AM on July 20 [1 favorite]


Which of your coworkers steals fish right from your mouth?

Brenda from HR. That bitch.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:07 AM on July 20 [2 favorites]


I can just imagine the person who puts these together angrily typing and muttering under their breath: “So help me god Mo, where do I even begin...”
posted by not_the_water at 10:20 AM on July 20 [4 favorites]


Dear McElroy brothers: my coworker pushed me off a pier, after it took me like an hour to walk there. What should I do? Also he steals fish right from my mouth.
posted by moonmilk at 10:35 AM on July 20 [3 favorites]


Metafilter: swims well, eats nicely, knows how to penguin.
posted by endotoxin at 10:36 AM on July 20 [7 favorites]


Whyyyyy is threadreader recommending to me "related" passages from Joseph Goebbels???????? Kind of a downer after a delightful thread!
posted by praemunire at 11:00 AM on July 20 [1 favorite]


At first glance I misread Pepper as having EATEN a member of the public, not eaten FROM a member of the public, and was momentarily confused as to why that would not land her on the naughty list.
posted by drlith at 1:27 PM on July 20 [7 favorites]


One of the penguins is naughty just for being "Outright Obnoxious" and now I want to know what he did to warrant it.

All I can picture is the Monty Python sketch where the mafia is trying to shake down the British Army. "Nice penguin habitat here. Be a shame if something happened to it."
"Things break... Don't they, zookeeper?"
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 3:36 PM on July 20 [1 favorite]


Burgess Meredith was the best Naughty Penguin ever. Period.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:31 PM on July 20 [6 favorites]


I misread Pepper as having EATEN a member of the public....and was momentarily confused as to why that would not land her on the naughty list.

These Kiwi zookeepers feel very protective of their relationships with these Good and Naughty Penguins. They'd rather the public cower in fear of these silly little bastards, so the occasional shaggy-penguin story of human-eaters suits their agenda just fine.
posted by tclark at 7:34 AM on July 24


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