PLATES!
July 24, 2018 6:48 PM   Subscribe

 
Ive long been a fan of We Want Plates because I love to hate on gimmicky food, but that wine chilled in a rubber boot is my favorite thing.
posted by Grandysaur at 7:23 PM on July 24 [4 favorites]


Also I eat and drink all things out of mugs, so I guess I can’t hate on that trend.
posted by Grandysaur at 7:26 PM on July 24


I was enjoying the collection of entrees on slate, fries/chips in mugs (at home, that's fine; at a restaurant, I want a serving device that doesn't mean I have to reach past salt and grease to get to the last quarter of them) and worse, and the occasional "bizarre smear of condiments on a skateboard," when I got to this.

I'm stopping now. If there's worse, I don't want to know about it.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:30 PM on July 24 [4 favorites]


That's the second one I saw with a goldfish, I feel bad for the fish each time.

On the other hand, I would gladly eat a scotch egg from a World's Best Scotch Egg trophy.
posted by RobotHero at 7:36 PM on July 24 [5 favorites]


But did you see the goldfish IN THE BLENDER?!??
posted by Grandysaur at 7:39 PM on July 24 [2 favorites]


Images of food served in articles of clothing will be the basis for multiple buzzfeed articles in 20 years.
posted by cirgue at 7:41 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]


The do it yourself salad won it for me.

I'm not sure why but I kept thinking back to the Hot Chicks with Douchebags blog.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:59 PM on July 24


The only thing that isn't a plate and that I enjoy eating food out of is other people's refrigerators.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:04 PM on July 24 [6 favorites]


These places are either too cheap to spring for As Is plates at IKEA, or just really, really pretentious. It reminds me if when I was a kid and invited to this girl's birthday party, and her younger sister wanted attention; so she ate cake with a disembodied doll's arm. Thank you for the link.
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 8:13 PM on July 24 [16 favorites]


OMG Alexandra Kitty that hit my funny bone to the point where I had tears streaming down my face!
posted by hippybear at 8:21 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]


I'm not bothered by twee pretentiousness as much as by the unsanitary nature of many of these. Where have all those planks, slates, and, uh, tennis rackets(???) been? Bet it was never somewhere food-safe. Ugh no. A rusty tin container is not something I'm going to pay to eat out of.
posted by emjaybee at 8:25 PM on July 24 [8 favorites]


There are many reasons I'm glad I no longer wait tables for a living. This was not, until now, one of them.
posted by Revvy at 8:45 PM on July 24 [2 favorites]


I'm not bothered by twee pretentiousness as much as by the unsanitary nature of many of these.

The Barbie dolls covered in raw meat are by far the worst example I've seen.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 9:21 PM on July 24 [2 favorites]


Unsanitary, but a nice use of the nearly-repeated design in the meat.
posted by clew at 9:26 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]


The obligatory "Put it on a Plate" song.
posted by Garm at 9:43 PM on July 24 [4 favorites]


Now these, these people need to be introduced to Corelle.
posted by darkstar at 9:54 PM on July 24 [15 favorites]


Is it too late to complain about drinks in mason jars? Because it feels like they've become the new normal.
posted by Vesihiisi at 10:26 PM on July 24 [7 favorites]


Some of them aren't so bad. The afternoon tea on a mini picnic table was cute, and not actually that much different than the classic tiered plate. The boots and hats, and the bizarre chunks of rock, though...
posted by tavella at 10:29 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]


A restaurant near me has a burger they're very proud of. It is full of grease and mayonnaise and ketchup. They used to serve it on a plate but now they serve it on a sort of flat wooden palette. It comes with potato chips. They used to be served on the plate; now they come in a paper cone in a tall wire frame like an ice cream sundae glass.

The kid eats the burger. Drip drop drip drop.
The kid eats the chips. Teeter-totter teeter-totter.

The grease and mayonnaise and ketchup flow to the edge of the palette.

"Ah!" I say. "Don't get the tablecloth all dirty!"

The kid's eyes widen with alarm. She grabs at the napkin. It hits the wire cone. Tumble, tumble, tumble, go the chips.

The kid is very sad. She tries to put the chips back in the cone but it will no longer stand upright. Tumble, tumble, tumble, off the table onto the floor. She gets down to rescue it and hits her head on the underside of the table. She starts to cry. I try to offer her my chips but she's too horrified by the chip carcasses strewn around like a potato battlefield.

I give her a hug. Behind her back, silently, the mayonnaise tide is flowing to the floor.
posted by Joe in Australia at 11:04 PM on July 24 [16 favorites]


Metafilter: full of grease and mayonnaise and ketchup.
posted by Vesihiisi at 11:22 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]


A coworker and I were riffing on this trend a while back.
"Fries in a shoe"
"Soup in a Styrofoam bowl with the word 'irony' gouged through the bottom"
"An upside down toilet plunger filled with chocolate mousse"
"..."

Yeah, we've never revisited the topic.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:53 PM on July 24 [5 favorites]


I could maybe accept food served in a shoe if it was hush puppies in hush puppies.
posted by ckape at 12:00 AM on July 25 [11 favorites]


(Previously)
posted by ardgedee at 2:30 AM on July 25


Yeah, the nice thing about plates is they have edges or a curve that stops all the sauce or fries or anything else diving off the edge. Completely flat surfaces totally suck for serving food on! I'm irritated every time I'm served food that is not on a goddamn plate.

The worst however was when I was given a lovely icecream sundae in a very tall, narrow glass .... and a very short, wide spoon. It did not fit more than halfway down the glass. We never went back and they closed down pretty shortly.

Less bad but still annoying was being served two soft boiled eggs, to go on my toast, without any eggcups. Just rolling around on the plate. If it's soft boiled eggs I want my egg cups dammit.
posted by stillnocturnal at 2:32 AM on July 25 [8 favorites]


Good lord. Some of those must weigh five pounds or more. The poor servers.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:47 AM on July 25 [2 favorites]


The implementation of the idea of putting stuff not on plates I've enjoyed the most was a place that served dehydrated cod clipped to wires with clothespins, so it looked like laundry hanging out to dry. That was cool and evocative of the neighborhood and not impossible to eat, because it was a few quick bites that you just grabbed and put directly in your mouth. Most of these are not that, obviously.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:29 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


I've been fortunate so far not to have experienced any of these kinds of shenanigans in person. Except maybe the cutting board thing, but at least cutting boards are meant to have food on them and don't actively get in the way.
posted by tobascodagama at 5:47 AM on July 25


Except maybe the cutting board thing,

This is definitely something I've noticed at a lot of pubs within the last few years. When I go out, it usually is to a pub (I like beer and pub food), and the pubs I frequent seem to have picked up this trend of serving everything on a piece/block of wood. I wonder at whether or not this saves on cleaning/dish-washing costs or is this purely an aesthetic thing?
posted by Fizz at 5:50 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


whether or not this saves on cleaning/dish-washing costs

In quite a few cases these non-plate alternatives can't get run through a dishwasher, so yes, I think they are saving on dish washing costs by not really washing the "dishes" sometimes.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:57 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


The implementation of the idea of putting stuff not on plates I've enjoyed the most was a place that served dehydrated cod clipped to wires with clothespins, so it looked like laundry hanging out to dry. That was cool and evocative of the neighborhood and not impossible to eat, because it was a few quick bites that you just grabbed and put directly in your mouth. Most of these are not that, obviously.

Yeah, a lot of We Want Plates (especially the subreddit) just cues my "STOP HAVING FUN OK GUYS" reaction, but what makes the worst ones really the worst is that they saw something like this, didn't get the visual pun at all, and were just like "ok so Good Restaurants hang stuff on clothespins and we too, are a Good Restaurant". It is a cargo cult of clever plating.
posted by capricorn at 6:31 AM on July 25


> The Barbie dolls covered in raw meat are by far the worst example I've seen.

Someone asked them to throw some meat on the barbie.
posted by lucidium at 6:56 AM on July 25 [20 favorites]


I have yet to be served something that wasn't on a plate but I like to tell myself I'll send it back if I do.

But I won't.
posted by tommasz at 8:06 AM on July 25 [1 favorite]


There's a local tapas place (which I frequent). One of their most popular items is their "asparagus fries" – spears of asparagus, crusted with panko and deep-fried, served with smoked tomato aioli. It is very, very tasty.

But. They serve them in a champagne flute, with the aioli at the bottom of the glass. This means that, as the spears get shorter from eating, it becomes increasingly impossible to dip them in the aioli.

I would, indeed, prefer a plate.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 8:47 AM on July 25 [3 favorites]


Crisp appetizers served in cup-like things can save valuable table space, and I'm weak for dessert served on slate. This is all just to say that I assumed y'all were being cranky over nothing, until I clicked the link. WHY.
posted by grandiloquiet at 9:56 AM on July 25 [5 favorites]


This is all just to say that
I have eaten
the food
that was in
the shoe

and the slate
and the loo
and the grate
for breakfast

Forgive me
plates are important
so useful
and so hygenic
posted by capricorn at 11:02 AM on July 25 [5 favorites]


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