"Her name is Batfink."
August 2, 2018 10:10 AM   Subscribe

San Francisco's Officer Edith (previously) tweets
This is my dog. Her name is Batfink. Her named has evolved from Batfink to batfinger>fingers>fingerling potato>fangers>fang fang and forever onwards to more ridiculous names. Show me your pets and their name evolutions because we need a little respite.
(Pet name evolution previously)
posted by Johnny Wallflower (69 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
Huh wha, ars longa
posted by y2karl at 10:29 AM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

posted by Celsius1414 at 10:38 AM on August 2, 2018 [8 favorites]

Eventually, they all evolve to “nooooooooo!”

posted by arcticseal at 10:40 AM on August 2, 2018 [7 favorites]

Childhood cat: Mushy> Mushel> Meetsa Katsa> Meetsy Cas> Cas Mas
Current dog: Cassis> Castle> Castle man> Castle Monster> Cas Man> Cas Pas> Cas Mas
Current cat: Dasher Bowie> Dashel Pas> Dash Cas> Das Pas> Cas Mas
Fiance: Cas Pas/Mas
it get's a little confusing around here.
posted by es_de_bah at 11:04 AM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

my little chunk sophie was renamed to LOAFY because she was such a little meatloaf, technically loafy peanut bc peanut was my first choice of name for her. a total stranger on tumblr sent me an anonymous ask demanding that i change her name bc they claimed to be triggered specifically by dogs named after food; i declined.

she is still sophie now altho no longer mine, alas.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:10 AM on August 2, 2018 [8 favorites]

and yes she remains an absolute loaf
posted by poffin boffin at 11:13 AM on August 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

Current cat: Menhit ➙ Mens Rea (because she's basically evil).
posted by cstross at 11:14 AM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

All of my chickens have been named after food. They have been or currently are:

Parmesan > Parm
I'm missing some but it's grant season and my brain is fried.

Oh yeah, Fried.

It's a thinly veiled threat. Lay eggs or else. What it has actually been is a retirement home for chickens past laying.
posted by Sophie1 at 11:15 AM on August 2, 2018 [7 favorites]

Rat terrier: Roxy > Roxy Soxy > Roxy from Biloxi > Roxifer

German shorthair pointer: Gretta > Grettafer > Thundertail

Pitbull: Lady > Lady Ironskull the Troublemaker

Cat: Rico > Reeko Stinko

Goldfish: Orange Fish, Lumpy & Eyeball
posted by Foosnark at 11:17 AM on August 2, 2018

Roxanne> Roxy> Roxy Pancakes> Pancakes> 'Cakes> Pastelito
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 11:19 AM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Our beloved russian blue:

Hubble > Hubbster > Hubbs
Catmouse > Mouse
Snooze > snoozler > poozler > pooze
Catbutt > CBT
posted by lydhre at 11:20 AM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Cat #1: Malcolm > Mal > Bubba > Bubbaz > Bubbabubbabubba (repeat until he gets annoyed) > Wubbaz > Wubs > Asshole Cat
Cat #2: Sophie > Sophia > Slowphie > Sophie Girl > Soph Soph > Dumb Dumb > Poopbutt

Both of them are extremely chatty Maine Coon mixes, so calling them any one of these usually results in some pretty idiotic "conversations".
posted by westface at 11:23 AM on August 2, 2018

We recently got a new young cat who has not been assimilating well with the older cat. She came home as "Greta", but has a very quiet meow, so "squeaky" has been used, as has "little bits", until I tried to say "little bits" with a mouth full of toothpaste, and...

Yeah, "little bitch" has stuck.
posted by straw at 11:31 AM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

I've experienced a bit of evolution since my previous comment:

Our cat Morrigan is often called Peach. At some point I started calling her Peachy Keen because she's such a happy cat, and that shortened to Peach. It feels a little silly for a black cat.

I suppose it's because it's summer that this has now lengthened to "Peach-on-the-Beach." Of course we live nowhere near a beach. But still.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:33 AM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

Salty > Salty Sizzler > Salty Siz. > Sizzley Salt> The Sizzlerton > Sizzle > Sizzle Face > Face.
posted by alrightokay at 11:34 AM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Gracie > Gracie Goose > Groosie > Goosie > Goosie Moose > Moosie > Moose-a-goose > Moosaboosa.

This has happened in the span of a month, what?
posted by Krazor at 11:35 AM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Smushy > Smush Mush > Mister Mush > Mr . Man > Man Man > Moosh Goosh
posted by Quindar Beep at 11:35 AM on August 2, 2018

Cat #2 has gone from Sam to Sam Wukong, because Handsome Monkey King takes over everything he touches. It's like our lives have become an episode of a random monk's journey or something.

(Cat #1 remains Mogget, and always will, because Saraneth is strong enough to bind names too.)
posted by Quasirandom at 11:35 AM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

Abigail > Yabigail > Yabbie > Yabbers > Yabbert > Bert > Bertie > Bertilicous > Bertiloquent
posted by aramaic at 11:40 AM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm not sure that a linear evolution is the best model here. More of an adaptive radiation as cat names take over all linguistic space.
posted by Quindar Beep at 11:48 AM on August 2, 2018 [7 favorites]

This thread reads like a Grateful Dead setlist
posted by wheelieman at 11:48 AM on August 2, 2018 [5 favorites]


OK fine. Sometimes in my head she's Fable-icious or Fabesters or Fable-baby or just Fabes. But NEVER out loud. I mean, that would just confuse her. Someday, if I keep saying Fable, she'll recognize her name. I am not risking all this hard work.
posted by greermahoney at 11:53 AM on August 2, 2018

>fang fang and forever onwards to more ridiculous names

> fin fang FOOM!

"Her/His name is x" makes me think of an oft-quoted snippet from some now-old episode of Project Runway. There was a punk-type designer who was talking about her boyfriend/ SO, and said "his name is Rat Bones, but his real name is William. But his real name is Rat Bones."

Some day when I have too much money and care even less about appearances or something, I'm going to get some version of that tattooed in Olde English script on my chest.

Oddly, our pet names haven't changed. Most recent pets:
- Momma Kitty -- that was her given name (given by someone else), and as such, it was still her name.
- Kitten, the nickname for (you guessed it) her kitten, who was my wife's favorite kittie friend forever, even when he got giant. His real name was Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla, but that's pretty long, and "him" and "mine" doesn't always clarify which cat you're talking about, so Kitten he was (R.I.P big buddy)
- Mumm-Ra is Mumm-Ra, unless she's "[adjective] cat" (like "noisy," "pushy," or "silly") -- named not for appearance but for her meowing (which sounds nothing like "Mumm-Ra")
- Mei is Mei, unless she's "[adjective] dog" (usually "goofy" or "silly") -- named because when we adopted her, she was a goofy girl who was just so happy to be playing with you
posted by filthy light thief at 11:55 AM on August 2, 2018

Clara>Clarabelle>Clarabelle the clam>Clammy


I'm glad I'm not the only one who does this.
posted by smartyboots at 11:59 AM on August 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

Lucy > Lucy Goosey > Luce Goose > Cous Cous. She’s a cat and she responds to Cous Cous now but not Lucy!
posted by ukdanae at 12:00 PM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

Chihuahua/terrier mix: Calypso -> Lipsie, Lipsie-bug, Bug-dog, Bugbug, Tinybug, Tiny Buggins, or simply "The Buggins."
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 12:01 PM on August 2, 2018

OMG way too many to list. The one that sticks out in my mind is Melanie > Melon > Lem-and-Mel > Mel > Mew* > Mew** > Mew-Mew > Mew-Mew Kitty > Mew-Mew Kitty-Chan.

The nice thing about "Mew-Mew Kitty-Chan" is that you can sing it to the tune of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:"
Mew, Mew, Kitty-Kitty-Chan-Chan,
Kitty-Kitty-Chan-Chan, Mew, Mew, Mew.

* Pronounced like "Mel," but with an exaggerated Cockney accent
** Pronounced "Myu," like a kitten's cry

posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:03 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Pris > Ms Cheeps
Bubo > Mr Handsome
Thor > Mr Cheeps
Archy > Noodle > Medium Friend
Mehitabel > Hetty > Missy > Little Miss > Little Friend
Baba Yaga > Babs

Oh, Bubo sometimes goes to Boobs, but not frequently enough to be come an official appellation
posted by pagrus at 12:05 PM on August 2, 2018

Charlie-Charliely-Lee Lee-LEEDLELEEDLELEEEDLELEEDLE said like a siren.
posted by Grandysaur at 12:05 PM on August 2, 2018

Cat #2: Sophie > Sophia > Slowphie

I used to call my mother's Beagle Sophie, "Snowphie," because romping in the snow was her Absolute Favorite Thing.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:09 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Isabel Vile Temptress>Isa>Scamperbutt>Scamper

Aleister Crowley>Bud>Goober>Jackass

Madame Helena Petrovna Blavatsky>Squeaker>Squeak
posted by calamari kid at 12:09 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

The nice thing about "Mew-Mew Kitty-Chan" is that you can sing it to the tune of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:"

Also "What's New, Pussycat?"

(Entirety of its lyrics: Mee mew Kitty-Chan, whoa-oao-ao, repeat infinitely)
posted by Quindar Beep at 12:22 PM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

Oh we fostered a kitten which I named Scomber Japonicus on account of her markings but she got renamed to smidgen. Smidgen is cool but really liked Scomber :(
posted by pagrus at 12:24 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Peppi > Pepita > Peppers > Puppers > Puppup

She also gets called Funny Face, Doggo, Little Dawg, and the Spanish or German word for dog, depending on who's talking to her.
posted by misslucyjane at 12:26 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

My friend has two cats:
Artemis -> Art-i-moose -> Moose -> [Moose|Moosey|Moosey-Moo]
Minerva -> Mini

You gotta start all cool and dignified and work your way to baby talk
posted by JDHarper at 12:27 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Ragdoll cat, Mekki > Mek-mek > Mekileka bee-chai > Mekileki hai Meka hiney-ho
posted by Redhush at 12:34 PM on August 2, 2018

Last dog:


Current Dog:

Poppy> Popster>Poppadums>Poppodopolis>Popstar>Poppycorns >
posted by newpotato at 12:41 PM on August 2, 2018

Joaquin > Mr. J > Jaybird

but when I got him his name was Paul
posted by queensissy at 12:54 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Bathwater > Thorazine > Trashcat
posted by fritillary at 1:01 PM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

She is Annie, plain Annie, in the morning. Anniepants when I wrangle with her tangled leash. Banana in the kitchen. But in my arms, she is always Butt.
posted by mochapickle at 1:02 PM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

Luca (when the shelter thought she was a boy due to her size) > Lucy > Mongoose (bc she Tol) > Lucy Goosey > Bunny/Her Royal Highness Princess BunnyCat > Bun > Naani (if she is in loaf pose, which is silly bc Naan isn't loafy but whatever).

My family knows to call her Bun or Bunny.

My godmother refers to her as HRH (Her Royal Highness).

My grandpa, who can't hear super well, thinks her name is Susan.

Her true full name is Maria Luisa Elena Francesca the Princess BunnyCat.

She also responds most vibrantly to, "Hey."

I love my Bun.
posted by Hermione Granger at 1:25 PM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

Triceratops will always be Triceratops. No nicknames. Unless she's bad - then I use her full name, Triceratops Grace Marie Ex'sLastName-MyLastName.
posted by ChuraChura at 1:32 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

My dog is Gatsby, but I’ve only had him around two months, so his name hasn’t had time to evolve yet.

A dog I dog-sit for: Baxter > Baxter Boo > Boo
posted by Weeping_angel at 1:38 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Our cats when I was growing up were Dakota and Vermont. Those got shortened post-haste to Deacon and Varmint, which always sounded like a Western buddy movie.

Current cats:

Nefer > Kitty > Lady > Miss Daintypaws

Sora > Sora Bora > Señor Poopaws (thanks to an unfortunate incident when he was a kitten)
posted by telophase at 1:42 PM on August 2, 2018

Dogs>Doggies>Doogies>Doobies>Shoobers. Must remember to stop referring to my dogs as shoobies in front of new people.
posted by gnutron at 2:10 PM on August 2, 2018

My username actually came from a nickname for a cat I owned (the coolest cat ever). His official name was Huey (like the helicopter), but he was known as:
pussycat > poozycat > boozycat > boozycotty > biscotti.

So now you know. It's not the delectable crunchy cookie after all.

Not ONLY anyway.

(it's far sillier)
posted by biscotti at 2:30 PM on August 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

Yukiko > Yuki > Pelos > Pelitos > Gato
posted by signal at 2:54 PM on August 2, 2018

The neighbor who I "inherited" my current (and only) cat from only called her KittyCat... I had to shorten that to KitCat, in tribute to one of my favorite candybarthingies and in recognition of its jingle tagline "Gimme a break!" which is a great thing to yell at a misbehaving feline. Sometimes K.C., Kittercatter, Kitcatbar...

Before that, my then-wife insisted on naming a new puppy we got from a friend "Lollypop". I resisted until I realized that the dog being a mix of BlackLab and BorderCollie... Lab+Collie=Lolly. So I shortened her name and occasionally went to LollyPUP...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:05 PM on August 2, 2018

My cat - Anoush (actual name)
is known as:
monkey bunny
noise' from boise'
evil monkey
evil bunny
the evil queen
fluffington bunnea
Get offa me it's to hot for this nonsense!
Goddamnit cat!
but never actually Anoush.
posted by evilDoug at 3:44 PM on August 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Kittehs in our household that underwent swift name changes:

Osiris —> Otis

Isis —> Iris

Minuet —> Ardra

Allegro —> Fecklar

The first two lost their original names because they just seemed super pretentious, and it was easier to say the new names together.

The second two lost their names after a housemate dubbed them with new monikers after they peed on his floor speakers and pooped in his room. (The new names were taken from the STNG episode “Devil’s Due”.)
posted by darkstar at 4:32 PM on August 2, 2018

The cat has been through a few.

Rothko Bear
Bunny Boy Bear
Bear Bear
Bear Bear the BehBeh

The dog has been resistant, either through a lack of character or because we got it right first time.
posted by arha at 4:47 PM on August 2, 2018

Dot>Dotsy Doodle>Dotsy-Totsy Toodle>Dotsy Totsy-Toodle Doodle Doo!
posted by A. Davey at 4:55 PM on August 2, 2018

Speedball -> speeds -> speedy -> speedles -> speedily deedily

Our other cat is Dolly, who I call Dolly Donuts but whose real name is Delores Stilton which I just love as name.
posted by Sparx at 5:44 PM on August 2, 2018

Cat #1: Ungrateful Bastard -> Youbee -> Youbins -> Bins
Cat #2: Kobayashi Maru -> Kobe -> Kob-Kob (long O like Kobe Bryant, without the e on the end)
Horse: Brigadoon -> Doon -> Doonie -> Dooniebird -> Bird

I don't know why I bother with good names at the outset. However, I keep trying.

This one's Patapsco. Name hasn't had time to morph, she's only three weeks old. Built-in nickname is "Tap" but who knows if that'll stick.
posted by which_chick at 6:14 PM on August 2, 2018

My parents' Australian Shepherd:
Simon > Simon Fuzzbutt > His Excellency, Simon Lord Fuzzbutt, Baron Wigglenubbin, the Ambassador from Pupulon
posted by Princess Leopoldine Grassalkovich nee Esterhazy at 7:33 PM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

There are far too few pictures in this thread. I'm just saying.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:55 PM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

The best dog ever.
Bowie> Bowie McBowerson> Bo > Little Bo> Bo-bear> Little Bear dog
OR Bowie>Bowie-pup> Mr. Pup!> Mr. Adorable> Mr. Adorable -horrible> horrible thing.

The new tail-less black spaniel creature.
Abby > Abigail> Abigail-no-tail >Babbygail-no-tail> Babbygail-such-fail>Babs> Miss Bab!> Miss Pup!
OR Abby> Abby-doggie>Abu-dhabi>Dabby-doo>Yabby-dabby-doo!
OR Abby> goddamndog!

Cat #1
Sprocket> Sproc-kitty>Spockitty>You with the ears!> Rock-itty> Rockitty-Mao>garbled cat noises...
OR Sprocket> Sprocket-rocket>Rocket-Pocket>Mr. Pocket> Pock-etty> Pawkitty!>

Cat #2
Not the brightest little fella... tends to freeze and stare off into space.
Thomas> Tom> Mr. Tom> Tom-Tom> Mr. Tom-Tom Tum-Tum>
"Oooooh! Look @ da Tom-Tom... he's re-catculating!"

Cat #3
Percius> Percy> Perse> Percy pudgy-wudgy>Pudge-wudge> Pudge> Fat cat ...(he now responds to fat cat 90% of the time)

Cat #4
Sigmund> Sigmund Freud> Freudy-cat
OR Sigmund> Sig> Sig-pig> Pig> Piggy> Piglet> Mr. Pig
OR Buddy/chum/pal/dude/old guy

( I'm now appreciating my tendency to get either more formal, or more insulting with each iteration... hmmm...)
posted by NorthernAutumn at 9:46 PM on August 2, 2018

Scrambles>Scrams!>Scram Scram>Scramble Rambles
posted by LizBoBiz at 11:26 PM on August 2, 2018

How are y'all so logical with your name evolutions. Ours is something like this

Molly > Mollington > Poopooface, Kitten, Meatloaf, Whatiswrongwithyoustopshoutingyouvejustbeenfed
posted by like_neon at 3:19 AM on August 3, 2018

When we got our dog, he didn't have a name, so I suggested we just call him Dog. The kids vetoed that, and named him something. After a while they also vetoed taking care of him. And then one day shortly after I was walking with him down a street, someone stopped me to ask me if I was aware how much my dog resembled Dog. I was, and I am, so now I just call him Dog like Dog intended.
Way back we had a kitten that was incredibly sweet and fluffy. He had a name but I forget what it was, because we had a visitor who renamed him Lampedusa. I don't really know why she did that, I can't see anything about him that could remind anyone of an Italian count and author. But Lampedusa>Lampus>Lampussy, and that made sense.
posted by mumimor at 3:54 AM on August 3, 2018

Us: We couldn't possibly change this cat's name, he's been called the same one at the shelter so long
Also us: *Calls the cat 16 million different tenuously related names*
posted by sacchan at 6:29 AM on August 3, 2018 [1 favorite]

What it has actually been is a retirement home for chickens past laying.

Is that a tagline or a synopsis of a Greatful Dead set list ?
posted by y2karl at 7:57 AM on August 3, 2018 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: a retirement home for chickens past laying.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:26 AM on August 3, 2018

I love these.
Our dog’s name is Luna—> Tuna—>Pooper->Tuna pooper
posted by Bacon Bit at 9:40 AM on August 3, 2018

There are far too few pictures in this thread. I'm just saying.

Melanie, AKA Mew-Mew Kitty-Chan
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:40 AM on August 3, 2018 [1 favorite]

I feel like for my dog, a linear progression isn't perfect, but here goes:

Leviathan > Levi (pronounced lev-ee, not lee-vigh) > Lev > Levilet > Levibito > Levitron > Levooshka > Levels > Level 1

And then there's a riff on her breed (minpin):

Pin> Pinlet > Pinball > Clothespin > Little Pin > Littlest

Names are fun <3
posted by actionpact at 10:21 AM on August 3, 2018

Molly (the vet said she was probably a boy, he was wrong)>The Grim Sqeaker > Grimmie > Grimbird > Miss Bird
posted by threeturtles at 2:49 PM on August 3, 2018

My Tommy came with the name, but his aliases are as follows:
Sir Thomas Neville Cattington
Sir Thomas Patrick Neville Cattington
My Son Thomas*

*I had a high school teacher who was always talking about his oldest son, and always referred to him as "My Son Thomas," never just "my son" or just "Thomas."

posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:32 AM on August 4, 2018 [1 favorite]

I can't believe I forgot so many of Tommy's nicknames! Here is an addendum to the list above:

Tommy Tiddles
T. Tom Tiddles
T. Tom Tiddles with the Cream-Filled Middle
Father Tommy**
Kid Kong
Tommy Top Hat
Tommy [LastName], Victorian Bootblack***
Foma Fomovitch

** The combination of his black coat and whitish flea collar has kind of a clerical flair.
*** ”Shine your boots, bite your feet, ain't I cute, so give me a treat.”
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:23 PM on August 10, 2018

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