New Kids on the Block
August 3, 2018 1:09 PM   Subscribe

"They kind of just like took over this neighborhood this morning." The employees of WeRentGoats.com were working on a patch of land in West Boise, Idaho this morning when a few of them found a break in the fence...

"They're very creative escape artists, sometimes" quotes the business owner.

The group decided to proceed down Summerland Drive and mingle with the local homeowners while eating everything in sight. The team was eventually transported back to the office but not after social media got their jokes in.
posted by JoeZydeco (64 comments total) 43 users marked this as a favorite
 
Ben Dunn said he had no plans to tear himself away from the unexpected petting zoo "until someone drags me inside, or until they're taken away."

I understand this man on the cellular level.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 1:11 PM on August 3 [86 favorites]


Exactly what I needed on a grumpy Friday afternoon. Thank you!
posted by Melismata at 1:11 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]


Look, we can have goats on your property in under two hours, any time, any day of the year. And for a reasonable fee, we won't.
posted by cortex at 1:16 PM on August 3 [145 favorites]


The cool thing about goats is that, unlike sheep, they won't eat vegetation to the roots so the vegetation will grow back.

Visited a friend's folks who kept goats - yeah, they are incredibly difficult to contain, and they sometimes end up eating really weird things like sheet metal street signs.
posted by porpoise at 1:20 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]


JoeZydeco wins the award for best MetaFilter FPP title of 2018.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 1:26 PM on August 3 [23 favorites]


(Can't accept the award...I stole it from the KTVB posting!)
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:29 PM on August 3 [8 favorites]


Dammit!
posted by ZenMasterThis at 1:34 PM on August 3


To paraphrase Animal Control's quote in the article: "We're gonna need a bigger truck..."
posted by gtrwolf at 1:37 PM on August 3 [7 favorites]


A local historic farm hired a smaller goat team to clear some of its many miles of stone walls. It seems they really like poison ivy.
posted by Botanizer at 1:38 PM on August 3 [4 favorites]


Total goat rodeo, amirite? This is my favorite thing that happened this week, easily.

Goat rental is definitely a Thing. We have Allegheny Goatscape here in Pittsburgh, who are incredibly useful because we have a lot of hillsides too steep for actual humans to do any significant work on, but that are overrun with knotweed and other invasive plants.
posted by soren_lorensen at 1:48 PM on August 3 [7 favorites]


goat rodeo

aka goateo
posted by curious nu at 1:51 PM on August 3 [5 favorites]


i love it when they mEEEEEEEEEH, it is the same noise i make when i am coming up the stairs with too many pineapples
posted by poffin boffin at 1:55 PM on August 3 [47 favorites]


The headline I saw was "Professional Goats Take Over Boise Neighborhood."

Professional goats? Like, what do they do on their off-hours? Do they wear professional goat attire when on the job? Are there goats who don't meet the professional bar? Deadbeat, good-for-nothing goats?

As a professional human, I have so many questions.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:57 PM on August 3 [22 favorites]


Goat anarchy, yes. YES.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 2:24 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]


This situation would make me so damn happy if it happened in my neighborhood. Goats are hilarious trickster assholes.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 2:28 PM on August 3 [6 favorites]


Goats are nice :’)
posted by gucci mane at 2:35 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]


Deadbeat, good-for-nothing goats?

Have you met many goats
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:50 PM on August 3 [9 favorites]


i love it when they mEEEEEEEEEH, it is the same noise i make when i am coming up the stairs with too many pineapples

I am visualizing this so hard that I can no longer see anything else
posted by phooky at 3:08 PM on August 3 [20 favorites]


Obligatory DOOR COUNTY, WI: GOATS ON THE ROOF!

We almost drove off the road the first time we encountered this scene.
posted by indianbadger1 at 3:09 PM on August 3 [7 favorites]


There should be a daily lottery in which an American community is chosen at random to receive 100 unsolicited goats. We need something to bond over as a nation, and the Alaska bearcam is wrapping up for the season.

Why is American Goat Rodeo not a reality TV show already?
posted by zachlipton at 3:13 PM on August 3 [25 favorites]


I'm reminded that it's "Boy-see" not "Boi-zee".
posted by humboldt32 at 3:13 PM on August 3 [4 favorites]


there's a backstreet boise pun in here that i can't wrangle
posted by numaner at 3:15 PM on August 3 [11 favorites]


I don't think I've told this story here before:

The first time I take acid I am living with my friend, who has got his hands on a vial of liquid. One summer afternoon we each put a drop inside an Oreo cookie, put our cookies in a sandwich bag, and take the bus into Tilden Park, in the Berkeley hills.

On the way in we see a van, which is painted along the side: "Goats R Us." We joke around a bit about what that could possibly mean. We get off the bus by the botanical garden and eat our cookies.

About three hours later we are peaking, walking along a trail with a plastic fence on one side, when we see, on the other side of the fence, a goat. Oh, sweet, it's a goat! At this point we've totally forgotten about Goats R Us.

We walk a little further and we see two or three more goats. Aww, it's a family of goats.

And then, and it feels like this happens very suddenly, there are dozens of goats. Goats over the horizon.

🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐

We remember Goats R Us, though not having smartphones we are not quite sure what the goats are for until we get home. We lose our shit laughing.

I'm not much for the metaphysical, but sometimes you know the goats are there just for you.
posted by atoxyl at 3:26 PM on August 3 [33 favorites]


i love it when they mEEEEEEEEEH, it is the same noise i make when i am coming up the stairs with too many pineapples

How long have the pineapples been out of the fridge? Did you eat them? Were you okay? How many pineapples? How many stairs? Why are the pineapples downstairs? Why are they going upstairs? How often does this happen?
posted by srboisvert at 3:37 PM on August 3 [17 favorites]


There should be a daily lottery in which an American community is chosen at random to receive 100 unsolicited goats. We need something to bond over as a nation, and the Alaska bearcam is wrapping up for the season.

I just realized that my dream job is to be the Ed McMahon of the Daily National Goat Sweepstakes.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:58 PM on August 3 [33 favorites]


Coming Up the Stairs With Too Many Pineapples feels like a mid-80s video game. I see it looking something like Elevator Action.
posted by Chrysostom at 3:58 PM on August 3 [7 favorites]


I'm reminded that it's "Boy-see" not "Boi-zee".

Huh. You learn something new every day.

(And it’s not like Idaho place names are totally foreign to me, either. I can pronounce Coeur d’Alene like a local — and Spokane, WA, for that matter — thanks to an early ’90s diet of US network television piped up to Alberta. I guess the cordelaynos are more into their Washington-adjacentness than hearing what the potatoes are up to, because Boise never came up.)
posted by Sys Rq at 4:01 PM on August 3 [4 favorites]


humboldt32: "I'm reminded that it's "Boy-see" not "Boi-zee"."

I have contrary evidence.
posted by Chrysostom at 4:08 PM on August 3 [4 favorites]


After years of studying French and living and working in francophone countries, I can’t hear any of those French-derived US place names that are, er, nontraditionally pronounced without an inward cringe. I outwardly accept USian pronunciation because I’m not a prescriptivist linguist. But in my heart, whenever I hear someone say “BOY-zee”, my internal dialogue echoes “bwahz”. Des Moines similarly becomes “deh mwahn” and “noo or-LEENZ” transforms to “noo or-ley-ahn”, at which point I realize I’m being silly and should just get over it, already.

Nevertheless, I want goats, and a few acres for them to roam and frolic.
posted by darkstar at 4:45 PM on August 3 [6 favorites]


Man, you're gonna hate Versailles, Kentucky then!
posted by snwod at 4:51 PM on August 3 [10 favorites]


... AND North Versailles, DuBois and Latrobe PA!

I saw the video earlier. It brought me joy. My brother and his wife have a small farm with various small livestock including goats. They are the highlight of any visit.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 4:56 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]


And Havre de Grace, Maryland!
posted by pleasant_confusion at 4:57 PM on August 3 [4 favorites]




Goat anarchy, yes. YES.

A gídarchy? Caprarchy?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:06 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]


Lay-ee Odl-lay-ee Odl-lay Hee-hoo!
posted by The Bellman at 5:13 PM on August 3 [5 favorites]


And Havre de Grace, Maryland!

And especially Lake Hommie Do (L'Homme Dieu), Minnesota.
posted by The Bellman at 5:15 PM on August 3 [1 favorite]


there's a backstreet boise pun in here that i can't wrangle

That’s because the goats ate it.
posted by notyou at 5:19 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]


Goats are hilarious trickster assholes.
Repeated for emphasis.

Fluffy battle kitten, you definitely know your goats.

I know these goats (and their people), and I am jealous they had the goat wrangler idea before I did. Although I wouldn't want to have to feed these goats when they're not working for a living.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:35 PM on August 3 [7 favorites]


I wouldn’t want to shovel up after the goats after they’ve been fed!
posted by susiswimmer at 6:08 PM on August 3 [1 favorite]


Don't get me started on Dauphin and Boissevain in Manitoba. Or Port Mouton in Nova Scotia.
posted by angiep at 7:13 PM on August 3 [1 favorite]


I guess the cordelaynos are more into their Washington-adjacentness than hearing what the potatoes are up to

The potatoes have their own problems.
posted by mykescipark at 7:22 PM on August 3 [1 favorite]


Here for the goats but now also here for a lesson on how Americans pronounce French.
posted by cendawanita at 7:32 PM on August 3 [4 favorites]


There should be a daily lottery in which an American community is chosen at random to receive 100 unsolicited goats.

AND THEN THEY WERE UPON HER

LAWN
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:37 PM on August 3 [5 favorites]


Not French, but San Antonio has a street named Huebner. Which I know just enough German that I want to pronounce it HOYB-ner, but they insist on pronouncing HEEB-ner.

We have a Des Moines in these parts of Seattle, too. Being the individuals we are, we have our own mispronunciation: D'Moynz. We generally do the tar-JAY thing and pronounce it correctly when we go there.
posted by aurelian at 7:56 PM on August 3 [2 favorites]


Des Moines similarly becomes “deh mwahn” and “noo or-LEENZ” transforms to “noo or-ley-ahn”, at which point I realize I’m being silly and should just get over it, already.

My stepdaughter thinks I'm super-weird for pronouncing their names Av-reel Luh-vee-nya and Bay-on-say Noll.
posted by Jpfed at 8:38 PM on August 3 [1 favorite]


I believe it would be pronounced HOYB-ner if it were spelled Heubner. With the spelling Huebner I think it's going to sound more like "hübner" which, I think to American ears would be more like trying to say "heebner" and "huubner" at the same time and getting jammed inbetween.

...now that word has no meaning to me. Smock smock smock.
posted by traveler_ at 8:43 PM on August 3 [3 favorites]




What is usually the attributed reason for the Americanised pronunciations? Is it because of the anglophone majority? Fidelity to spelling?
posted by cendawanita at 9:24 PM on August 3 [1 favorite]


In reference to the FPP title and to the idea of hanging out with a sudden herd of goats, I want it that way.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:39 PM on August 3 [1 favorite]


What is usually the attributed reason for the Americanised pronunciations? Is it because of the anglophone majority? Fidelity to spelling?

In the case of remote areas like Idaho, it’s because the French-Canadians who named the cities (or named the things or peoples the cities were later named after) were only there for like two seconds, and were mostly canoe-paddling fur traders, not permanent settlers. These places are not, and never have been, French, at all. Once they were eventually permanently settled by Europeans, it wasn’t by French ones, at all.

The huge swathes in the middle of the continent that were once part of New France-Quebec-Louisiana are a different, slightly more actually French story, but with the same flash flood of non-French Europeans at the end.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:42 PM on August 3 [10 favorites]




From the KTVB twitter
"For those who are asking, YES, we have a goat-reporter opening at @KTVB right now....apply below...for real"

Here's your chance at your dream job someone!
posted by Rufous-headed Towhee heehee at 12:31 AM on August 4 [4 favorites]


I wish my lawn wasn't mostly dead so I could rent some goats to clear it. I don't know if there's goats for rent in my area but I wouldn't want to rent them if they didn't have something to eat. I want them to enjoy their work. Anyway I love this.
posted by DyRE at 12:52 AM on August 4 [1 favorite]


Are goats the right solution for you?

Yes. (Problem irrelevant)
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 3:59 AM on August 4 [6 favorites]


WHERE IS LES NESSMAN WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

I can only hear this in his voice: '“They are going house to house eating everything in sight. Nobody has a clue where they came from…”
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 4:01 AM on August 4 [7 favorites]


I can't access the first and third links - error message You don't have permission to access "http://www.ktvb.com/article/news/local/new-kids-on-the-block-118-hungry-goats-descend-on-boise-neighborhood/277-580060084" on this server. Is this likely to be a UK thing? Please tell me it's not to do with the call I just had from Microsoft saying my computer had a virus which blocked me from all the servers, to which I said that was fine with me.
posted by paduasoy at 4:26 AM on August 4


Same here, paduasoy. It's probably because of the new EU data protection laws (GDPR). I can *usually* view these Euro-blocked links via google's cached version by looking up the article titles.
posted by taz at 5:01 AM on August 4 [2 favorites]


paduasoy, it's not you or your Microsoft scam caller, it's just some media entities' (still glarin' at you, tronc) continuing inability to cope with GDPR and in so doing, attempting hamfistedly to deprive Europeans of our god-given right to hilarious goat news. Try these links instead.
posted by sldownard at 5:01 AM on August 4 [5 favorites]


Obligatory DOOR COUNTY, WI: GOATS ON THE ROOF

In case you can't make it to Sister Bay Wisconsin this summer, Al Johnson's restaurant has helpfully provided a 24-hour live Goat Cam.

They're only on the roof during summer business hours in good weather, but you should still bookmark it.
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:20 AM on August 4 [4 favorites]


All these goats
So many goats
Am I a goat
posted by scalefree at 11:23 AM on August 4


Coming Up the Stairs With Too Many Pineapples feels like a mid-80s video game.

Or a MeFi username
posted by panama joe at 11:38 AM on August 4 [6 favorites]


My cousin grew up with a pet goat (why? who knows). They kept the goat in a small enclosure with 8 foot walls, but the goat kept escaping. They couldn't figure out how, it seemed too high to jump. But they figured he was jumping out somehow, so they built the walls up another two feet. The goat escaped again. Finally, they set up a camera to see what was happening.

The goat would start running in tight circles, then run along the walls like a motorcycle up a wall of death, then jump out. They had to put a net over the top to stop him.

Yeah, some goats don't like to be caged.
posted by lubujackson at 1:03 PM on August 4 [13 favorites]


Last night, I dreamed about raising goats in my garage, thanks to this thread.

The goats are in my head!!
posted by darkstar at 1:56 PM on August 4


I have loosed
the goats
that were in
the pasture

and which
you were probably
assuming
were still penned

Forgive me
they were gamboling
so cute
and so droll
posted by bendy at 2:18 PM on August 4 [8 favorites]


« Older NASA announces crews for Boeing and SpaceX flights   |   Quicksilver, helping improve Wikipedia's science... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments