Polly want some soap to clean out that mouth
August 15, 2018 7:34 AM   Subscribe

The efforts by Green Watch from Edmonton station to charm the misbehaving bird went smoothly at first, and she responded positively, telling her would-be rescuer that she loved him back. But, Jessie soon launched a foul-mouthed tirade against the fire crew, telling the fire fighters to “f*** off”.
posted by like_neon (18 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
My only regret is that this story doesn't include actual video of the parrot mid-harangue.

BRB, gonna go add a character to my animal meme crossover fanfic with Knife Crab and Buttermilk the Goat.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:51 AM on August 15, 2018 [11 favorites]


i support this brave freedom fighter and all of her important efforts
posted by poffin boffin at 8:43 AM on August 15, 2018 [6 favorites]


Clearly not pining for the fjords.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:47 AM on August 15, 2018 [10 favorites]


Sweary parrots are the best. Churchill, the office parrot at Sir Robert McAlpine in Hemel Hempstead, could tell you to fuck off with spite and venom. Even though I last saw him in 1993, I consider myself well and truly fucked off to this day.
posted by scruss at 8:53 AM on August 15, 2018 [18 favorites]


Not the most fowl-mouthed birb I've seen. Pebble has the pottiest of mouths.
posted by snwod at 9:13 AM on August 15, 2018 [9 favorites]


Birds are such assholes.
posted by Fizz at 9:25 AM on August 15, 2018 [2 favorites]


A parrot is not the most unusual animal the service has been called out for though, after it was called out to rescue an iguana from a roof in Tower Hamlets in May 2008 and a chimp trapped in a chimney in Tower Hamlets in January 2010.

Three months earlier, a crew had been called out to save a kitten which had wedged its head inside a bongo drum in Newham.

Last month Devon Fire and Rescue was criticized for dispatching 15 firefighters and two engines to a rescue a seagull on a church roof.


Call me hard-hearted but I share the criticism of the seagull rescue. But maybe that's because I've been pooped on by one more than once.

Pebble has the pottiest of mouths.

Holy shit.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:37 AM on August 15, 2018 [2 favorites]


LFB watch manager Chris Swallow, who attended the scene...

"This is the third bird rescue I've been sent on this week. I'm starting to think you're just taking the piss here."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:40 AM on August 15, 2018 [5 favorites]


Hey scruss! Sir Robert McAlpine in Hemel Hempstead, Woah! I remember that parrot. It also used to mimic peoples phones as they walked away from their desks when I was at Maylands. Fun times, I used to help around that office with my sister doing archiving and stuff; also at the original office before it was demolished.
posted by diziet at 9:44 AM on August 15, 2018 [3 favorites]


It's true, birds are assholes. I love mine, but goddamn.

I'm surprised my Amazon doesn't swear more, actually. My partner and I are pretty foul-mouthed in general, but she hasn't picked that up from us. She used to do this thing where she'd go "A... B... C... ... ... fuck", but she stopped at some point.

Mostly, what she learned from us is our laughs, so if she detects even the slightest bit of a chuckle coming from either of us she just lays in with her most over-the-top imitation of our laughter she can manage. Or else she listens in on our conversations and peppers in the occasional "Oh" or "I see" between our sentences. The jerk.
posted by tobascodagama at 10:30 AM on August 15, 2018 [21 favorites]


2nding disappointment in lack of video
posted by supermedusa at 10:30 AM on August 15, 2018 [1 favorite]


There used to be a man in Sausalito who would entertain people with his cockatoo. He had been in one of those hippie circuses back in the day, and when I was a kid I was terrified of the bird. Later in my early 20s he was still there, and I conquered my fears and let the bird climb all over me. It was great! I haven't seen him lately, I think he finally retired. But his bird Chinook is still pretty young. She doesn't talk- but she's so full of personality. I love parrots and cockatoos. If I had the room... But I don't lol. Also, Parrots are a lot of work. I love this swearing bird!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:52 AM on August 15, 2018 [2 favorites]


Or else she listens in on our conversations and peppers in the occasional "Oh" or "I see" between our sentences.

This is the best thing ever. I can picture it in my mind. If you have a video of this, I'd love to watch it assuming you're willing to share. I just have this image in my brain of your bird being passive aggressive and snarky in pretending to follow a conversation it doesn't give a shit about. Hahaha.
posted by Fizz at 12:13 PM on August 15, 2018 [5 favorites]


Me, I want to know how that cat got wedged in the bongo drum (or why).
posted by jackbishop at 12:27 PM on August 15, 2018 [7 favorites]


I just have this image in my brain of your bird being passive aggressive and snarky in pretending to follow a conversation it doesn't give a shit about.

That's pretty much exactly what she does, but it's impossible to get a video of her doing it. She clams up on camera. It's just another manifestation of her assholitude.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:43 PM on August 15, 2018 [4 favorites]


I am *weeping* laughing at that second Pebble video.
posted by gusandrews at 6:00 PM on August 15, 2018 [2 favorites]


Everyday it's a complete disappointment that a cuddly, soft animal like a cat doesn't talk, but those Elton John costumed mini velociraptors filled with bloodlust that are parrots can tell us to go fuck ourselves daily.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 7:16 PM on August 15, 2018 [7 favorites]


Back in the day when department stores sold pets, a friend & I were browsing in that area. There was a parrot. My friend started the “Polly want a cracker” routine & kept it up for several minutes. The parrot didn’t respond. We were walking away when the parrot said, in the most disdainful tone possible, “ My name is Nathan.” Went back to visit Nathan, but someone must have bought him. Glad the days of department store pet sections are gone—sometimes there were monkeys, too.
posted by Nosey Mrs. Rat at 8:41 PM on August 15, 2018 [11 favorites]


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