The un-celebrity president
August 17, 2018 7:11 PM   Subscribe

Jimmy Carter finishes his Saturday night dinner, salmon and broccoli casserole on a paper plate, flashes his famous toothy grin and calls playfully to his wife of 72 years, Rosalynn: “C’mon, kid.” She laughs and takes his hand, and they walk carefully through a neighbor’s kitchen filled with 1976 campaign buttons, photos of world leaders and a couple of unopened cans of Billy Beer, then out the back door, where three Secret Service agents wait.
posted by octothorpe (60 comments total) 64 users marked this as a favorite
 
“He’s a good ’ol Southern gentleman,” says David Lane.
No modifiers needed - he's a gentleman with a capital G. In boldface.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:24 PM on August 17, 2018 [18 favorites]


Wow. It must be fascinating and/or extremely boring to be assigned to Carter's Secret Service detail.

Also I feel obligated to respond to this:
Even those who didn’t start out rich, including Bill Clinton... have made tens of millions of dollars on the private-sector opportunities that flow so easily to ex-presidents.
... by pointing out that when Clinton left the White House, his family was very nearly bankrupted by the need to pay all sorts of lawyers to respond to the bullshit investigations the Republicans instigated against him. Yes he made $400K a year in office, but that's not a lot of lawyers per year, and he was too ethical to try and put that on the public dime. Since Hillary was going into politics directly after his presidency, they had a legitimate need for a whole lot of fucking money. They had every reason to believe - and they were right! - that the Republicans would come after her the same way. It wasn't corruption. Or not just corruption.

(Also has Obama actually made "tens of millions" yet? He wasn't allowed to in office and he's only been out barely 18 months.)
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 7:34 PM on August 17, 2018 [48 favorites]


Fuck Reagan.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 7:43 PM on August 17, 2018 [60 favorites]


I can’t remember the last time I’ve enjoyed reading an article so much. I mean really: “In a remodel not long ago, the couple knocked down a bedroom wall themselves. ‘By that time, we had worked with Habitat so much that it was just second-nature,’ Rosalynn says.”
posted by cicadagirl at 7:44 PM on August 17, 2018 [56 favorites]




That no-frills sensibility, endearing since he left Washington, didn’t work as well in the White House. Many people thought Carter scrubbed some of the luster off the presidency by carrying his own suitcases onto Air Force One and refusing to have “Hail to the Chief” played.

What the world needs now.

But anyway, when people trying to make some sort of retrograde point loudly pronounce, "I'm an EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN!" I like to say, "Oh yeah! Like Jimmy Carter!" and then they get all confused.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:49 PM on August 17, 2018 [97 favorites]


THEY MADE HIM SELL HIS PEANUT FARM.

Just getting it out of my system.
posted by maryr at 7:53 PM on August 17, 2018 [151 favorites]


In college, I had a research job going through old newspapers, and I was amused by this: in early 1974 or so, a rumor developed that Carter was on the short list to be the Vice Presidential candidate in 1976. After a week of this, he gave a statement saying that he "had no interest in seeking national office at that level", and the media turned on to speculate about other VP possibilities.
posted by thelonius at 8:06 PM on August 17, 2018 [9 favorites]


I mean, it wasn't 100% sunshine and roses, but relative to successive presidents it was relatively, uh, small peanuts.

Inquiry Clears Carter Family's Peanut Business:

October 17, 1979

A special counsel appointed to investigate questionable financial dealings involving President Carter's family peanut warehouse has concluded that there is no basis for criminal prosecution.

Making public a 180-page report on the multimillion-dollar loan package that the National Bank of Georgia provided to the warehouse, Special Counsel Paul J. Curran said yesterday that "no indictment can or should be brought against anyone."

However, the Curran report cites numerous irregularities in the transactions between Carter's warehouse and the bank. The loans, which eventually grew to a total of $6.5 million, were first extended in June 1975 when the National Bank of Georgia was run by Bert Lance, who later became President Carter's first budget director.

The report cited repeated instances of checks written on a Carter warehouse account at the bank without sufficient funds to back them up, the removal of collateral in violation of the terms of the NHG loans, bookkeeping irregularities at the bank and other violations of the loan agreements between NBG and the warehouse.

The biggest loan, extended so that the warehouse could buy unshelled peanuts for its sheller, was continually short of collateral "except for a brief period" in 1975, the report said. During one seven-week period in the spring of 1976, the warehouse owed as much as $1,150,000 to NBG without having any peanuts under bond -- as it had agreed to do -- to secure the debt.

[...]

As for whether any criminal charges were warranted, Curran said "the answer is also a clear no."

During the course of the inquiry, which began last March, Curran and his team of investigators questioned President Carter under oath for four hours. Curran said he believed it was the first time in history that a president in office had given a deposition in a criminal case.

Curran also told reporters that the president had to "bail out" the family business in the fall of 1977 from Carter Farms Inc., a separate corporation managed by Carter's trustee, Charles Kirbo. The president owns 91 percent of that business.

posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:07 PM on August 17, 2018 [3 favorites]


I worked for the Democrats in 1980 in the Bay Area, registering voters and Getting Out The Vote. Carter conceded before polls closed on the West Coast, affecting voter turnout, the kind of mistake you make when you're not a political insider. Boy, were we pissed. But I always believed in him, trusted him, and over the years, he has earned tremendous affection by being a fantastic example of a human being. Faithful to his marriage, honest, generous. Then I look at the current president and Congress, and the contrast is so sharp. So, wanna get back to the Good Old Days? Look for an honest decent candidate.
posted by theora55 at 8:10 PM on August 17, 2018 [28 favorites]


Compare and contrast...
posted by jim in austin at 8:16 PM on August 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


The decency is almost unbearable.
posted by gwint at 8:20 PM on August 17, 2018 [18 favorites]


This is extremely cozy.
posted by gucci mane at 8:26 PM on August 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


If our country had to pick only one person to represent us to extraterrestrial aliens in a first encounter, I’d pick Carter.
posted by darkstar at 8:26 PM on August 17, 2018 [36 favorites]


Curran said he believed it was the first time in history that a president in office had given a deposition in a criminal case.

... l'affaire Fromme was a civil proceeding?
posted by Iris Gambol at 8:31 PM on August 17, 2018


My grandfather is a white guy from Mizzurah who's within a year or two of Carter's age who apparently looks very much like Jimmy Carter; he's been asked if he is Jimmy Carter enough times while traveling that it's become a running joke in our family (I don't see the resemblance, but, y'know, he's my grandpa). I sent this to our family chat tonight, partially because it furthers the comparison - my grandpa's also a fly fishing enthusiast - but also partially because Carter's such a fundamentally good person. So many worse people, not to mention worse presidents, one could be compared to.
posted by protocoach at 8:32 PM on August 17, 2018 [9 favorites]


I so badly want to believe the meek shall inherit the Earth. My god, the Earth deserves it.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:39 PM on August 17, 2018 [27 favorites]


What a lovely article.
I am not a religious person, but the Carters have always served as an example to me of people who put their faith into concrete action in the service of others every day, rather than simply giving lip service to their beliefs.
I’m going to be truly saddened when they both pass on from this life.
posted by bookmammal at 8:40 PM on August 17, 2018 [38 favorites]


Also has Obama actually made "tens of millions" yet?

Yes. He and Michelle were paid $65 million in cash as an advance on his-and-hers memoirs. That's the largest book advance yet paid out in the history of the world, for those keeping count.
posted by killdevil at 8:44 PM on August 17, 2018 [7 favorites]


I mean, looking at Carter, if there existed such things as truth, integrity, and shame, anyone who calls themselves a Christian who voted for That Man Who Shall Not Be Named ought to have their heads implode from the dissonance.

I’m spiritual but not religious, but if more Christians behaved like Carter, I’d be far more inclined to believe.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:44 PM on August 17, 2018 [34 favorites]


My grandfather is a white guy from Mizzurah who's within a year or two of Carter's age who apparently looks very much like Jimmy Carter;

The first dentist I remember going to as a kid was also a Carter doppelganger.

He was also a sweet older fella, and used to call me "Punkin." But man, did he hurt me. He hurt me BAD. I can still feel it just remembering. Dentistry has come light years ahead in the last few decades
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:50 PM on August 17, 2018 [5 favorites]


I was the ten year old child of two “Reagan Democrats” when Carter lost in 1980 and even then I could see this was a race between a genuinely decent man and a duplicitous celebrity butthole.

Certainly no one realized the implications of the political shift at the time, and that we’d be feeling the reverberations in catastrophic ways 40 years later. The US has had grandstanding greedy incompetents before but never had someone so harnessed the power of modern media before as Reagan and it was the last time an honest person could rely on simply being honest.

Reagan blew false pride and patriotism up everyone’s asshole and that was enough to make the electorate blind to the difference between the two candidates. Both military men, but one was an Annapolis grad who served on submarines, the other lived in a mansion making military propaganda in Hollywood. It was the shift from the Greatest Generation being in charge to the Me Generation being in charge and ever since then we’ve been forced to interpret politicians’ true intentions through their own constructed reality of the country.

The Carters live in a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I’m glad they are happy and living their ideals. It’s the ultimate way of winning the game of life, and these days, a rare luxury. I don’t think we’ll ever go back there. But we’d be well advised to study their example and mourn what we’ve lost.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:19 PM on August 17, 2018 [85 favorites]


The election of President Carter was the first time I was able to vote (at 18 and still in High School).

I remember having my Boy Scout Eagle review where all the Dads of the troop grilled the scouts who are getting their final rank. We lived in Houston and most of the Dads were staunch Republicans. Discussion turned to the upcoming election and I told them I was a Democrat, I was voting for Jimmy and why (the absolute corruption of Nixon and the debacle that was Vietnam).

Instead of dismissing me, the adults questioned me about my choice and when the review was finished, I had earned some respect from them and they listened to what I said. After all, I was an Eagle Scout and most of these Dads had watched me grow up.

It's sad that that conversation is impossible today. My Mom and Dad were Republicans but they would be horrified at what this party has become. I'm horrified at what it's become. So thank you for this reminder. President Carter… boy that sure sounded good after he won!
posted by jabo at 9:25 PM on August 17, 2018 [27 favorites]


It's interesting to me that in my lifetime (born in 74), that we've had 3 Democratic Presidents - Carter, Clinton and Obama and for record keeping here so far in 2018 - Ford, Reagan, Bush Sr, Bush Jr, Trump on the Republican side.. The primary thing I immediately notice is that each of the candidates got hit with a revolving door of "the other side screwed things up".

Having said that - of all the people I'd want to talk to about leadership - I'd choose Carter and Obama, but that's because their ideals appeal to be, despite flaws of execution.
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:22 PM on August 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


I came to MF tonight to get caught up on the horror show that is our current presidency and got sidetracked by this unbelievably refreshing article instead.

Welp, time for bed.
posted by vverse23 at 11:47 PM on August 17, 2018 [15 favorites]


I was the ten year old child of two “Reagan Democrats” when Carter lost in 1980 and even then I could see this was a race between a genuinely decent man and a duplicitous celebrity butthole.

I'm younger, and I could see this, too. Carter sounds like a really good person in almost everything I read about him; I wish he had been more effective politically but I am sure he did all he could.
posted by Dip Flash at 12:11 AM on August 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


Best president in my lifetime? JFK. No doubt about it. Listen to his inauguration speech -- unreal. He actually talks to us. Youth. Charm. Charisma. Determination.

Second best president in my lifetime? Jimmie Carter. A decent man. A moral man. A kind man. A civil man. A man who got run down like a rabbit on a freeway once he was inside the beltway. To this day, the only president who has addressed apartheid in Israel, not at all a popular move but an honest move.
posted by dancestoblue at 4:43 AM on August 18, 2018 [15 favorites]


Certainly no one realized the implications of the political shift at the time, and that we’d be feeling the reverberations [of Reagan's election] in catastrophic ways 40 years later.

My mother did. I'm not sure if Trump has eclipsed it yet, but I know she felt absolutely sick on the day when Reagan was elected. Nauseous, as if a great mistake had been made and the world had taken a sickening lurch. Some people knew.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:49 AM on August 18, 2018 [27 favorites]


I was impressed by a quiet comment Carter made in a radio interview I heard a few years ago. The reporter asked what he was most proud of as president. There was a moment of silence, then Carter responded: "I never started a war."
posted by doctornemo at 5:09 AM on August 18, 2018 [96 favorites]


What a lovely article. Thanks for posting.

I like being frugal, I practice being frugal, but I will never come up to JC's level. And being frugal is just that, it is not being cheap.
I was raised by Parents and Grandparents who lived through the Great Depression. That's where the frugal bit comes from.
posted by james33 at 5:25 AM on August 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


Sometime in the mid 90s we were at The Varsity in Atlanta (famous for chili dogs for those of you not from the area) and as we were eating I looked at the table next to us and there was President Carter and Roslynn, eating chili dogs.

It seemed rude to disturb them while eating so I didn't say anything to them.
posted by COD at 6:17 AM on August 18, 2018 [14 favorites]


I was impressed by a quiet comment Carter made in a radio interview I heard a few years ago. The reporter asked what he was most proud of as president. There was a moment of silence, then Carter responded: "I never started a war."

Carter seems like a fundamentally kind and decent guy, but it's hard to forget the slaughter and smothering of democracy in Central America that his administration instigated and funded. It's something that comes to mind every time I read a piece like this.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:58 AM on August 18, 2018 [17 favorites]


Interesting little write up on presidents since Nixon and their post-service fortunes. (Dated November 2016, but it does show Obama's base figure.) Scroll down for the chart.

The comparison with Harry S. Truman is - instructive.
posted by BWA at 7:07 AM on August 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


Carter kicked things off in Afghanistan, as well, plus lots of deregulation of various industries here at home (you can thank him for the craft beer renaissance, for example, and also baggage fees on airlines).

Still, the contrast with the current feller. Sheesh.
posted by notyou at 7:21 AM on August 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


It must be fascinating and/or extremely boring to be assigned to Carter's Secret Service detail.

Some 20+ years ago, a friend of mine who studied biology was on a field trip in the Finnish woods together with a bunch of students from her course. They were collecting samples and took a shortcut across a farmyard (which they had assumed was uninhabited and anyway, a bit of casual trespassing is not a big deal in the Finnish countryside).

All of a sudden they got surrounded by a swarm of beefy American dudes in uniforms muttering frantically into walkie talkies. The poor panicking students had a tough time convincing the security guys they were there to collect lichens and moss, but after a few tense moments they just got escorted outside the farm gates, where the head of security finally told them whose security perimeter they had accidentally crossed... And then president Carter himself came walking down the road to shake their hands and have a chat.

IIRC, he was just enjoying a minibreak fishing in the local river while his wife attended a conference in Helsinki. According to my friend, he was friendly and charming, and quite interested in their project. My friend did feel a little sorry for the secret service, who seemed to really kick themselves for allowing some random people to literally walk across the front lawn with their wellies and buckets. But the president was chill about it, anyway, and actually seemed to find it funny.
posted by sively at 7:32 AM on August 18, 2018 [24 favorites]


My friend did feel a little sorry for the secret service, who seemed to really kick themselves for allowing some random people to literally walk across the front lawn

No blame. They are on the watch for rabbits.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:27 AM on August 18, 2018 [7 favorites]


No blame. They are on the watch for rabbits.

🎶"I don't want a bunny wunny in my little row boat" 🎵
posted by octothorpe at 8:33 AM on August 18, 2018


On a slightly less whimsical note: I have a friend who is a retired CSIS officer. (CSIS is Canada's primary national intelligence service.) She knows someone who is recently retired from the US Secret Service: this guy has spent the last thirty years on the security details of three ex-presidents of the US. From what I hear secondhand, two of the three went from POTUS to PITA, while Carter is humble, gracious, and generally an excellent person to work with and know.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:41 AM on August 18, 2018 [7 favorites]


Mr. Carter’s first presidential campaign got me involved in the Democratic Party. It was the first I worked on, as a local party precinct worker, going door to door in our chiefly GOP precinct, checking off potential voters from the printed voting rolls I carried. By the time of his re-election campaign, I was a county committee member. His re-election campaign was poorly managed, relatively strapped for money in Virginia as compared to the GOP, but we were confident. Who would vote for that boob Reagan, after all. The debates were not a positive; Carter was not as polished a performer as Reagan. And, he never lied. Carter’s laconic and more thoughtful answers did not stand out like the sound bites and phony attacks of the Reagan campaign.

And, let’s not forget Reagan’s collusion and back channel to the Iranians, obstructing progress in the hostage talks and delaying their release until after his inauguration. [It was the same playbook Nixon used to obstruct and interfere with the ongoing US-North Vietnamese Paris talks, ultimately delaying the end of that war 5 years, at the cost of thousands of American and Vietnamese lives, all for some perceived electoral advantage.]

Oh well, not to re-litigate the past. Anyway, Habitat for Humanity is a great organization. Join up, go out on weekends and put up some drywall, do some painting, or make a picnic lunch for the volunteers. Great family fun.
posted by sudogeek at 8:50 AM on August 18, 2018 [8 favorites]


And, let’s not forget Reagan’s collusion and back channel to the Iranians ... the same playbook Nixon used to obstruct and interfere with the ongoing US-North Vietnamese Paris talks ... all for some perceived electoral advantage.

And, of course, the Russian shenanigans of your current Dear Leader. Treason seems to be too regular a part of GOP strategies to be coincidental.
posted by Grangousier at 9:24 AM on August 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


I never understood the Jimmy Carter hate (well, I do understand, but nevermind), but Salmon Casserole?
posted by humboldt32 at 9:36 AM on August 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


You'd prefer lasagna?
posted by maryr at 9:49 AM on August 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


As someone who was born smack-dab in the middle of the Reagan presidency, and whose first real political awareness was a Clinton-Dole-Perot mock debate in 6th grade (closely followed by the incessant coverage of the Lewinsky scandal/impeachment), I am slightly bewildered that we ever had a president like Jimmy Carter. He seems like such a genuine, honest, down-to-earth guy -- as the stories in this thread attest -- that it feels like he wandered off the set of a Frank Capra movie.
posted by basalganglia at 10:59 AM on August 18, 2018 [9 favorites]


Note how he ALWAYS says "Rosalynn and I" when he speaks about what they do as a couple.
posted by brujita at 11:11 AM on August 18, 2018 [15 favorites]


I think a lot about how Carter wanted to establish a giant solar industry and reduce dependency on foreign oil. I sometimes picture him saying "I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO" but I know he is too decent to do so.

Instead, he goes out and builds houses and is generally the most decent person possible. There's lesson there. But dammit, just once I wish he'd unleash some righteous fury at the mess his successor left. Reagan was a debacle in a thousand ways.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 11:11 AM on August 18, 2018 [14 favorites]


If our country had to pick only one person to represent us to extraterrestrial aliens in a first encounter, I’d pick Carter.

The Voyager Golden Record contains a statement by Jimmy Carter. I reproduce it in its entirety here:
This Voyager spacecraft was constructed by the United States of America. We are a community of 240 million human beings among the more than 4 billion who inhabit the planet Earth. We human beings are still divided into nation states, but these states are rapidly becoming a single global civilization.

We cast this message into the cosmos. It is likely to survive a billion years into our future, when our civilization is profoundly altered and the surface of the Earth may be vastly changed. Of the 200 billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy, some--perhaps many--may have inhabited planets and spacefaring civilizations. If one such civilization intercepts Voyager and can understand these recorded contents, here is our message:

This is a present from a small distant world, a token of our sounds, our science, our images, our music, our thoughts, and our feelings. We are attempting to survive our time so we may live into yours. We hope someday, having solved the problems we face, to join a community of galactic civilizations. This record represents our hope and our determination, and our good will in a vast and awesome universe.
posted by BrashTech at 11:21 AM on August 18, 2018 [106 favorites]


Flagged as fantastic, BrashTech.
posted by darkstar at 11:25 AM on August 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


Fuck Reagan.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln


Yes indeed. Sideways with a pineapple.

Shout it from the rooftops.
posted by Splunge at 12:17 PM on August 18, 2018 [6 favorites]


*reads that Golden Record message*

Jesus fuck, how our vision has narrowed since then. Can you imagine any president since then talking about nation states as if they were just a stepping stone to a global civilization? About how the world might look in 100 billion years? About solving our problems on Earth and reaching out to the stars?

We are so fucked.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 12:19 PM on August 18, 2018 [30 favorites]


I can’t believe that no-one has mentioned the Carter Center. How many Presidents have:

[Lead] disease eradication efforts, spearheading the campaign to eradicate Guinea worm disease, as well as controlling and treating onchocerciasis, trachoma, lymphatic filariasis, and malaria through awareness campaigns.

Not to mention winning the Nobel Peace Prize!
posted by monotreme at 12:59 PM on August 18, 2018 [12 favorites]


In late 2015, when the most recent Presidential election was heating up and Carter was dealing with his metastasized melanoma, one of my neighbors put out a campaign-style lawn sign that said "JIMMY CARTER FOR CANCER SURVIVOR". Which pretty much sums up my feelings about that top-notch guy.
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 2:24 PM on August 18, 2018 [17 favorites]


It must be fascinating and/or extremely boring to be assigned to Carter's Secret Service detail.

I watched a documentary on Herbert Walker and it was pretty damn clear he used his as servants, probably without even realizing it, with them tying up his boats for him and such. (He also bragged about how storms destroying his ocean-side estate meant nothing to him and he would just rebuild and rebuild because he could.)
posted by srboisvert at 3:57 PM on August 18, 2018


Carter says he thinks the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision has “changed our political system from a democracy to an oligarchy

Yep, I don't know how you get that one back into the bottle but I think it's pretty much a prerequisite.
posted by southof40 at 9:00 PM on August 18, 2018 [12 favorites]


Absolutely.

I remember when Newt Gingrich (*spit*) let the cat out of the bag when he was asked why he thought Romney won the 2012 primary and Newt didn’t. He replied “Because he had two billionaires backing him, and I only had one.”
posted by darkstar at 9:13 PM on August 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


One of the biggest crimes of the 20th century is the glee so many people took in shitting on this guy. Had the 70's and 80's not been so fucked up, maybe people would have seen what they had been blessed with.
posted by littlerobothead at 8:45 AM on August 19, 2018 [10 favorites]


One of the biggest crimes of the 20th century is the glee so many people took in shitting on this guy.

I not-so-fondly remember kids in my elementary school during the 1980 campaign parroting a takeoff on the Oscar Meyer bologna jingle, starting with "My bologna has a first name, it's J-I-M-M-Y ..." and ending with "... 'Cause Jimmy Carter has a way of screwing up the USA."

(Somehow I didn't put it together until just now that MAGA is straight from that same Reagan campaign. Plus ça change....)
posted by mubba at 9:49 AM on August 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


The thing about that song I notice, mubba, is that it's nearly exactly as adaptable to the name "Ronald Reagan." The only difference, in terms of number-of-letters and syllable count, is that JIMMY has one fewer than RONALD. "Oscar Meyer" is five-five, two-two. You have to cheat a bit to fit "Carter" into the song's rhythm because of the extra letter, but it's not hard.

BARACK OBAMA fits as well as JIMMY CARTER does. BILL CLINTON is short both in syllables and letters, and HILLARY is too long on both. DONALD TRUMP would work great, except his second name is one syllable. Thinking about losing candidates, WALTER MONDALE is too long in letters, but its syllables fit the rhythm perfectly.

What is my point with all of this? I don't really have one, I guess, unless it's that it's not a good idea to use children's parody songs to inform your beliefs of the suitability of presidents.
posted by JHarris at 11:38 AM on August 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Well, children’s parody songs are better than bullshit Scripture-inspired numerology. I vividly recall years ago being visited in the hospital by an Elder in my nondenominational Protestant Church here in Phoenix. He spent 45 minutes at my bedside regaling me with the latest theories on how “the number of the Beast, 666” clearly indicated that Bill Clinton was the Antichrist.

The “argument” was that his initials numbered 6-6-6. No I am not kidding. When I pointed out that “William Jefferson Clinton” actually had 7-9-7 letters, he pointed out that yes, but if you translate his name into Arabic, then it’s 6-6-6. When I pointed out that (1) the name doesn’t actually translate to Arabic, (2) that Arabic wasn’t used by anyone related to the prophecy of the Antichrist, and (3) that “Ronald Wilson Reagan” actually perfectly matches 6-6-6, and he suggested (a) top scholars have made an accurate translation, (b) Arabic is the language of the Devil is using in our times, and (c) Reagan couldn’t have been the Antichrist because [let’s just say massive Republican cognitive bias], that was when I hit the nurse call button and begged her for more morphine.

I don’t go to that church anymore, but I’d definitely attend Carter’s Sunday School class, given the opportunity.
posted by darkstar at 2:51 PM on August 19, 2018 [11 favorites]


I'm willing to bet that there is at least some correlation between children's enjoyment of parody songs and the political opinions they hear from their parents and other elders (and/or media).
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:21 PM on August 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


Thank you darkstar, that comment makes me feel a lot better for making my silly comment, if only because it gave you an excuse to write that.
posted by JHarris at 8:04 PM on August 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


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