Think you can win Brexit? Try it yourself
August 23, 2018 8:32 AM Subscribe
Try your hand at Bloomberg's Pick your Own Brexit, an 8 bit adventure game with truly horrible consequences.
I made it through to Soft Brexit in nine steps, but then, I try to be a rational person.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:40 AM on August 23, 2018 [10 favorites]
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:40 AM on August 23, 2018 [10 favorites]
I scored a non-nightmare result by conceding to everything the EU asked for.
Is Brexit fixed now, or is this thing not hooked up to the world yet?
posted by Construction Concern at 8:40 AM on August 23, 2018 [6 favorites]
Is Brexit fixed now, or is this thing not hooked up to the world yet?
posted by Construction Concern at 8:40 AM on August 23, 2018 [6 favorites]
The prime minister explains there is no alternative, but many Tories are contemptuous. Boris Johnson writes in the Telegraph that the deal is a “suppurating, servile, snivelling surrender.” Jacob Rees-Mogg compares the prime minister to Gaius Terentius Varro, a commander responsible for one of the worst military defeats in Roman history.
heh
posted by Iridic at 8:45 AM on August 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
heh
posted by Iridic at 8:45 AM on August 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
I ended up with Jeremy Corbyn?
I know it's as close to a win as I could hope for, but I still feel like I lost...
posted by Seeba at 8:48 AM on August 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
I know it's as close to a win as I could hope for, but I still feel like I lost...
posted by Seeba at 8:48 AM on August 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
Yeah, it's relatively easy to get a soft brexit through with this, through several different strategies. Maybe that's the point it's making though eh.
If you take a hard brexit, you get called Hannibal instead.
Can we maybe get a 5-year moratorium on classical references in politics? Force conservatives to live in this millenium for once?
posted by AnhydrousLove at 8:48 AM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
If you take a hard brexit, you get called Hannibal instead.
Can we maybe get a 5-year moratorium on classical references in politics? Force conservatives to live in this millenium for once?
posted by AnhydrousLove at 8:48 AM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
I aimed to get as many different prime ministers as possible. I think I got 7?
My thinking was that once you've been prime minister and got turfed out you generally don't get another go. It seemed to be the best way to clear out as many of the Tory Front Bench as possible.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:55 AM on August 23, 2018 [23 favorites]
My thinking was that once you've been prime minister and got turfed out you generally don't get another go. It seemed to be the best way to clear out as many of the Tory Front Bench as possible.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:55 AM on August 23, 2018 [23 favorites]
Is there a way to see the choices before you say yes to them? I wound up with a Hard Brexit in 9 because it would say things like “keep some institutions and get rid of others” and I was like “what is this vagueness.”
posted by corb at 8:56 AM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by corb at 8:56 AM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
I clicked haphazardly on things that seemed vaguely likely, and the result was no Brexit. Postponed, with any luck indefinitely. Consequences not as horrible as advertised.
posted by sfenders at 9:00 AM on August 23, 2018
posted by sfenders at 9:00 AM on August 23, 2018
I got into a loop where parliament rejected both soft and hard brexit and I kept having elections with the same results.
posted by Definitely Not Sean Spicer at 9:01 AM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Definitely Not Sean Spicer at 9:01 AM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
soft in nine, hard in 14, with May.
now this is interesting: May overboard, hardliner replacement, Tory split in two leadership elections, general election - Corbyn as PM in 19 steps, and EFTA on the way.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:06 AM on August 23, 2018
now this is interesting: May overboard, hardliner replacement, Tory split in two leadership elections, general election - Corbyn as PM in 19 steps, and EFTA on the way.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:06 AM on August 23, 2018
There seems to be a bug where it asks if Conservatives will to blow up their own government and there's an option for No.
posted by ckape at 9:12 AM on August 23, 2018 [19 favorites]
posted by ckape at 9:12 AM on August 23, 2018 [19 favorites]
There has to be some way to put Larry the Cat in charge. That's the UK's only hope, really.
posted by orrnyereg at 9:33 AM on August 23, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by orrnyereg at 9:33 AM on August 23, 2018 [8 favorites]
It has too many colours to be an 8-bit game. It looks more plausibly 16-bit (think the Amiga, or a PC with one of those new 320x200x256 VGA cards).
posted by acb at 9:37 AM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by acb at 9:37 AM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
I was asked what Brexit means and I chose 'Brexit' and then the game got stuck in an infinite loop and crashed.
I tried to rally the Opposition but it seemed to have been trapped in a Shrodinger Box where it simultaneously was for and against Brexit. N. Ireland was in the box too, having both a border and not a border. And so was Boris, with a cake.
posted by vacapinta at 9:44 AM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
I tried to rally the Opposition but it seemed to have been trapped in a Shrodinger Box where it simultaneously was for and against Brexit. N. Ireland was in the box too, having both a border and not a border. And so was Boris, with a cake.
posted by vacapinta at 9:44 AM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
And so was Boris, with a cake.
The cake is a lie.
posted by Definitely Not Sean Spicer at 10:02 AM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
The cake is a lie.
posted by Definitely Not Sean Spicer at 10:02 AM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
I was hoping that, in an effort to return to sanity, I'd be able to install a representative of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party as PM.
posted by adamrice at 10:04 AM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by adamrice at 10:04 AM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Lord Buckethead for PM!
posted by Definitely Not Sean Spicer at 10:15 AM on August 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Definitely Not Sean Spicer at 10:15 AM on August 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
The Only Way to Win is Not to Play. --WOPR
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:18 AM on August 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:18 AM on August 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
I'm not sure I agree with their only process to getting to a 2nd referendum (parliament voting down both soft and hard brexit).
One possibility is May comes back with no deal because she can't/won't compromise enough for the EU (who want to protect the Single Market from a potential Singapore-on-Thames) so Parliament vote it down despite government attempts to block a vote at all, and then parliament also forces a new referendum on 'no-deal exit vs remain'. This would require both soft Tories to actually grow a spine and vote against May, AND Labour to almost entirely vote down a no-deal Brexit*, both of which are admittedly a stretch, despite pro-EU MPs being a substantial majority in the house.
Parliament almost certainly won't get to vote on both no deal and a soft deal - May will only present what she has at the last minute, when it's too late to continue negotiating. If a soft deal actually makes to Parliament, the Labour whip will inevitably vote for it, as will the soft Tories, more than enough to outweigh the hardliners.
To put a soft deal in front of Parliament though will require a massive collapse of May's red lines.
Even if May gives up most of her red lines to get to the next stage, such as the 'no ECJ' and allowing the fallback of Northern Ireland effectively remaining in the Customs Union/Single Market until a final deal (to keep a soft border) AND survives the immediate coup by the DUP and her own hardliners which seems increasingly unlikely, it'll just kick the can down the road a couple of years and we'll be doing this all over again in 2020 with a different PM.
I think a car-crash Brexit is becoming increasingly inevitable - anything else requires
1) May to bend, and she can't bend without being deposed via the nuclear option of a leadership challenge or a no-confidence vote backed by her own hardliners and the DUP, or both, likely before Parliament even get to vote on any deal (and should the government collapse, there won't be time for a GE before the default no-deal Brexit happens)
or
2) Parliament to grow a spine and force a 2nd referendum, something both May and Corbyn are determined to prevent*, and the EU grants more time to have one.
* Corbyn is determined not to be blamed by the gutter press for Brexit's failure, and he's always been strongly anti-EU, so he will do absolutely everything to avoid blocking whatever Brexit result the Tories try to enact.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 10:24 AM on August 23, 2018
One possibility is May comes back with no deal because she can't/won't compromise enough for the EU (who want to protect the Single Market from a potential Singapore-on-Thames) so Parliament vote it down despite government attempts to block a vote at all, and then parliament also forces a new referendum on 'no-deal exit vs remain'. This would require both soft Tories to actually grow a spine and vote against May, AND Labour to almost entirely vote down a no-deal Brexit*, both of which are admittedly a stretch, despite pro-EU MPs being a substantial majority in the house.
Parliament almost certainly won't get to vote on both no deal and a soft deal - May will only present what she has at the last minute, when it's too late to continue negotiating. If a soft deal actually makes to Parliament, the Labour whip will inevitably vote for it, as will the soft Tories, more than enough to outweigh the hardliners.
To put a soft deal in front of Parliament though will require a massive collapse of May's red lines.
Even if May gives up most of her red lines to get to the next stage, such as the 'no ECJ' and allowing the fallback of Northern Ireland effectively remaining in the Customs Union/Single Market until a final deal (to keep a soft border) AND survives the immediate coup by the DUP and her own hardliners which seems increasingly unlikely, it'll just kick the can down the road a couple of years and we'll be doing this all over again in 2020 with a different PM.
I think a car-crash Brexit is becoming increasingly inevitable - anything else requires
1) May to bend, and she can't bend without being deposed via the nuclear option of a leadership challenge or a no-confidence vote backed by her own hardliners and the DUP, or both, likely before Parliament even get to vote on any deal (and should the government collapse, there won't be time for a GE before the default no-deal Brexit happens)
or
2) Parliament to grow a spine and force a 2nd referendum, something both May and Corbyn are determined to prevent*, and the EU grants more time to have one.
* Corbyn is determined not to be blamed by the gutter press for Brexit's failure, and he's always been strongly anti-EU, so he will do absolutely everything to avoid blocking whatever Brexit result the Tories try to enact.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 10:24 AM on August 23, 2018
I made it through in 17 and Danny Dyer is the new PM.
posted by cichlid ceilidh at 10:55 AM on August 23, 2018
posted by cichlid ceilidh at 10:55 AM on August 23, 2018
I had fun doing my very best Brenda impersonation when the General Election came up. "For the third time in four years..."
posted by kalimac at 11:17 AM on August 23, 2018
posted by kalimac at 11:17 AM on August 23, 2018
Got through with soft Brexit first try. Maybe that is the point?
Still, it's no Brexit Bus.
posted by scruss at 12:09 PM on August 23, 2018
Still, it's no Brexit Bus.
posted by scruss at 12:09 PM on August 23, 2018
as with all european politics, i did a thing and something happened that i don't understand
posted by poffin boffin at 12:11 PM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 12:11 PM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
Hard in 44 until the Tories, backs to the wall, agree to a hard brexit.
It took multiple walkouts before it'd let me just do the "cut all ties and revert to a Transmetropolitan inspired hellscape" of no deal. The "How can you use my intestines as a gift?" type situation. And then it chickened out. It had the pound falling to be lower than the Canadian dollar over the course of days during the first attempt at a no-deal brexit, but they didn't stick with that and put it down as an "unknown."
posted by Hactar at 1:08 PM on August 23, 2018
It took multiple walkouts before it'd let me just do the "cut all ties and revert to a Transmetropolitan inspired hellscape" of no deal. The "How can you use my intestines as a gift?" type situation. And then it chickened out. It had the pound falling to be lower than the Canadian dollar over the course of days during the first attempt at a no-deal brexit, but they didn't stick with that and put it down as an "unknown."
posted by Hactar at 1:08 PM on August 23, 2018
I found a nice loop: general elections till the end of time!
Let's begin → Conference → Talk to EU → We need more → Keep talking → Back to Brussels → Soft → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → Prime Minister overboard! → Leadership election → Moderate → Back to Brexiting → Go to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → General Election → Conservative win! → Back to Brussels → Soft → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → General Election → Conservative win! → Back to Brussels → Soft → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → General Election → Conservative win! → Back to Brussels → ...
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 2:00 PM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
Let's begin → Conference → Talk to EU → We need more → Keep talking → Back to Brussels → Soft → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → Prime Minister overboard! → Leadership election → Moderate → Back to Brexiting → Go to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → General Election → Conservative win! → Back to Brussels → Soft → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → General Election → Conservative win! → Back to Brussels → Soft → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → General Election → Conservative win! → Back to Brussels → ...
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 2:00 PM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
Conference → Talk to EU → We need more → Keep talking → Back to Brussels → Soft → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → General Election → Conservative win! → Back to Brussels → Hard → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'No' → What now? → General Election → Lord Buckethead wins → Back to Brussels → Brussels says 'what?' → Medium Rare → Take to Parliament → Parliament says 'Wing it!' → Back to Brussels → Negotiate → The rest of Europe becomes part of the United Kingdom.
posted by sfenders at 3:51 PM on August 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by sfenders at 3:51 PM on August 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
Imagining myself as Boris Johnson I managed to go through it in 96 steps and basically got it back to the point where there is another referendum. I think it is likely pretty accurate.
posted by Ashwagandha at 4:16 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Ashwagandha at 4:16 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Is there a way to see the choices before you say yes to them?
Much like in 2016: no. AND YET CHOOSE YOU MUST
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:40 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Much like in 2016: no. AND YET CHOOSE YOU MUST
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:40 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
I aimed to get as many different prime ministers as possible. I think I got 7?
We call that playing in Austrailan mode.
posted by Metro Gnome at 9:46 PM on August 23, 2018 [11 favorites]
We call that playing in Austrailan mode.
posted by Metro Gnome at 9:46 PM on August 23, 2018 [11 favorites]
Strangely I actually have faith in the utterly conniving nature of the Tories and thier natural love of money, Brexit will cause lots of money to be lost and I know in my heart somewhere a dark scheme is being elaborately plotted to tear the whole thing down.
posted by Damienmce at 7:20 AM on August 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Damienmce at 7:20 AM on August 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
No-deal Brexit could be as bad as 2008 financial crash, Carney says: Bank governor warns cabinet of high unemployment and sharp house price falls
I really don't see the appeal of this game.
posted by homunculus at 8:02 PM on September 13, 2018
I really don't see the appeal of this game.
posted by homunculus at 8:02 PM on September 13, 2018
Worse than any scenario previously advertised:
Rightwing thinktanks unveil radical plan for US-UK Brexit trade deal
Groups linked to Trump and disgraced former minister Liam Fox want foreign competition in NHS and regulations bonfire.
posted by adamvasco at 7:25 AM on September 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Rightwing thinktanks unveil radical plan for US-UK Brexit trade deal
Groups linked to Trump and disgraced former minister Liam Fox want foreign competition in NHS and regulations bonfire.
posted by adamvasco at 7:25 AM on September 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
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posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:36 AM on August 23, 2018 [36 favorites]