“Kitty, the internet is dangerous,”

August 30, 2018 3:38 PM

“Hello! I'm Hello Kitty!” [YouTube] Hello Kitty finally makes her long-awaited debut as a vlogger.
posted by Fizz (19 comments total)

I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST VLOG
posted by juv3nal at 3:45 PM on August 30, 2018 [8 favorites]

is this the one who isnt a girl or a kitty

or was it that she doesnt exists?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 4:42 PM on August 30, 2018

is this the one who isnt a girl or a kitty

or was it that she doesnt exists?

Yes.
posted by Fizz at 4:47 PM on August 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

Welp. They're saving big on lip-synch technology anyway.
posted by ardgedee at 4:53 PM on August 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

I just assumed she's speaking telepathically.
posted by Fizz at 4:57 PM on August 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

I can't get it to work.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:41 PM on August 30, 2018

It’s the power of her broad snowy forehead that burns the doubters and posers to ash.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:44 PM on August 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

I just assumed she's speaking telepathically.

you mean telepathetically
posted by pyramid termite at 5:56 PM on August 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

I would really like to see this done with a more entertaining set of subtitles.
posted by Nelson at 5:59 PM on August 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

When I first became aware of Hello Kitty, I remember wondering what the backstory was. Why was she a compelling character? Where is she from? What is it about her that makes her interesting?

But she is void through and through. I watched this video in a daze. The most relatable thing she does is shill for her parent brand. Even the room she stands in feels empty of purpose. No one lives there, or has ever lived there. It is a staged AirBnB. Does she have a home? Does she just drift? Has she always?

Every encounter with Hello Kitty is a nihilistic adventure into nowhere.
posted by phooky at 6:14 PM on August 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

she's a kawaii maneki neko, a clever animation of something that was already part of japanese culture
posted by pyramid termite at 6:20 PM on August 30, 2018 [3 favorites]

I'm pretty sure she rules the underworld from her throne of skulls.
posted by zengargoyle at 6:29 PM on August 30, 2018 [3 favorites]

Hello Kali?
posted by njohnson23 at 7:06 PM on August 30, 2018

I had a pink Hello Kitty TV. It was a good TV. It was the last CRT I had.

Badtz Maru is also cool.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:16 PM on August 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

I had to stop at Kirimi-chan because that damned egg already haunts my nightmares.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 8:58 PM on August 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

Her Japanese is excellent but she's English. You can tell she's English because she has photos of buses and telephone boxes on her wall, which is what we do in England.
posted by BinaryApe at 2:57 AM on August 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

I wish this was more like Strong Bad!
posted by cherryflute at 7:12 AM on August 31, 2018

Oh god, I was fine when the eyes were just illustrative black dots, but I really do not like that subtle, realistic texture of an iris and a pupil in there, staring straight ahead, unmoving.
posted by lucidium at 7:53 AM on August 31, 2018

Evokes for me the controlling-woman-I-dated-but-who-wouldn't-say-I-was-her-boyfriend when I dared to play with one of her stuffed animals "Don't make her voice"
posted by stevil at 6:17 PM on August 31, 2018