"Just picture a dude in your mind, that's what he looked like."
September 3, 2018 8:12 AM   Subscribe

Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey): Who wants to hear a story of the Worst Party Guest Ever? I hope you do because this is happening.

In which reference is made in the comments to the infamous "Party foul, or reason for jihad?" AskMe. (Sarah Gailey previously.)
posted by Johnny Wallflower (89 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
 
Fuckin’ beans, with their unavoidable and excessive sweetness.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 8:24 AM on September 3, 2018 [13 favorites]


When I complained of a cold while visiting parents, my mom handed me a glass of something that would "help," she said. She gave a glass to my dad, too. He threw his back in a mighty gulp; I sipped, and gagged.

She said it was apple cider vinegar (a lot) and honey (hardly any) and hot water. It tasted like Someone Else's Bile.

I realized that my dad must have gotten this treatment before because he hadn't said a word, but tried to swallow the stuff without tasting it. My complaints were pooh-poohed, and I finally decided that I should just say I felt better so Mom didn't offer me any more of this "help."

I expect that this Dude has a lot of friends who had learned the same lesson as my dad.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:40 AM on September 3, 2018 [4 favorites]


Not exactly a party but a friend of my ex-wife needed help installing an IKEA kitchen, so I drove up and spent the day helping. He promises fantastic omelettes for breakfast.....waits until it's in my mouth to tell me it's cooked with coconut oil.
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:45 AM on September 3, 2018 [6 favorites]


I don't even put apple cider vinegar in salad dressing recipes that call for it, and douchecanoes are out there dumping it in brunch juices all willy nilly.
posted by Mizu at 8:46 AM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


Why did bean man add vinegar to the juice.

In another universe if he was a spy he would poison people at the party like that.

If the thing you're doing is how a spy poisons people, think about the thing you are doing.

And yet, he was invited to the party.

Sarah Gailey is delightful and I intend to stalk her...wait...to be her fanboi...wait...to RESPECTFULLY AND NON-CREEPILY FOLLOW HER SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS, AND PERHAPS MAKE ONE OR TWO AWKWARD COMMENTS, BUT TO NEVER DOSE HER JUICE WITH F**KING APPLE VINEGAR. OR ANYONE'S JUICE WHAT WAS HE THINKING.

Also I am probably buying mango juice. I mean, mango juice.
posted by saysthis at 8:46 AM on September 3, 2018 [12 favorites]


i love this bc with a few significant wrong turns in life we could all be this man about something. specifically greg nog about ranch dressing don't fight me greg u kno it's true.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:48 AM on September 3, 2018 [5 favorites]


"I have a GREAT IDEA, and it's SO GOOD that I'm going to surprise-force you into it!"

That juice bar needs to file assault charges.
posted by MonkeyToes at 9:03 AM on September 3, 2018 [28 favorites]


My latest ex told me to buy some apple cider vinegar to help with my allergies. In typical evilDoug fashion, I bought a gallon at Costco. If I had only known. However, being 30 some years sober, I feel I have found a drink I can down when everyone else is having scotch or something similar. As Warf would say "It's a man's drink!"

However, I might amend that to read "It's strong for tough people."
posted by evilDoug at 9:04 AM on September 3, 2018 [12 favorites]


Just picture a dude in your mind, that's what he looked like.

I dunno about this. Alan Alda? Robert Trujillo? Don Burleson, Oracle Consultant? All dudes. I think they mean "visualize a stereotype dude consistent with denizens of a hipster mimosa party".
posted by thelonius at 9:09 AM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


Man I wish I could go back in time and tell dejah420 to stop making elaborate time consuming cakes for zen friends. Make them for equally tense friends who will value and appreciate all the hard work. Zen friends will love the duncan hines box cake with some preformed candy letters.
posted by muddgirl at 9:10 AM on September 3, 2018 [34 favorites]


There's one bad apple in every brunch.
posted by drlith at 9:14 AM on September 3, 2018 [32 favorites]


I can think of far worse shit someone can do at a party, but that is gross.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:17 AM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


I was reading all these comments thinking about how it must taste, took a sip of my black coffee (with butter in it because I am out of milk), and it was so sweet I had to resist an impulse to spit it back out.
posted by jamjam at 9:22 AM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


Oof. I am all about vinegar-based beverages - I drink a lot of shrubs and switchels - but a) those are sweetened and also diluted, not just straight apple cider vinegar and b) I don't force them on unsuspecting brunchers and assume it will be a pleasant surprise.

What is wrong with some people?
posted by darchildre at 9:27 AM on September 3, 2018 [22 favorites]


We have monthly neighborhood brunches and the one sacrosanct rule is to not fuck with the mimosas. There needs to be plenty of orange juice and prosecco or words will be had. This guy would not have survived a stunt like this.
posted by octothorpe at 9:38 AM on September 3, 2018 [13 favorites]


I have done one thing with apple cider vinegar: put bowls of it around the house to fight stale cigarette smoke odor (I heard that is an old realtor trick). It did not occur to me to drink it.
posted by thelonius at 9:41 AM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


He'd probably add vinegar to water, too. What a douche.
posted by The otter lady at 9:49 AM on September 3, 2018 [17 favorites]


just going back to the party foul vs Jihad cake-flake disaster Ask makes me want to build a time machine, go back to 2009, invite myself to that birthday party, and slap that woman across the face but HARD. I'd say I'd rub her face in the cake like a dog who shits on the floor, but that poor cake had already been abused.

WTF is wrong with people.

posted by tzikeh at 9:52 AM on September 3, 2018 [10 favorites]




being that @gaileyfrey is a professional author and all, I was quite disappointed at this story's failure to resolve satisfactorily, like with douchebro on the receiving end of some serious vengeance.
posted by hwestiii at 9:54 AM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


"There's some folks who don't eat like us," she whispered fiercely, "but you ain't called on to contradict 'em at the table when they don't. That boy's yo' comp'ny and if he wants to eat up the table cloth you let him, you hear?"

"He ain't company, Cal, he's just a Cunningham-"

"Hush your mouth! Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house's yo' comp'ny, and don't you let me catch you remarkin' on their ways like you was so high and mighty! Yo' folks might be better'n the Cunninghams but it don't count for nothin' the way you're disgracin' 'em—if you can't act fit to eat at the table you can just set here and eat in the kitchen!"


Totally different situation, I know, but this is the passage that sprang to my mind.
posted by adept256 at 9:57 AM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


The Twitter thread also referenced the infamous white cashmere shawl incident wherein a party guest almost certainly had sex in the woods on top of their cashmere shawl and then demanded that Nickle Pickle pay for a replacement.
posted by muddgirl at 9:59 AM on September 3, 2018 [19 favorites]


I still think Bee-Cake Wrecker must have been mentally compromised somehow. Pure malice would have just knocked the cake onto the floor and gone "whoopsie!".
posted by The otter lady at 10:11 AM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


Holy crap I had never encountered the "party foul" cake incident and ye gods that feels like the kind of stunt I'd see from assorted people I have been very very happy to cut out of my life.
posted by egypturnash at 10:18 AM on September 3, 2018 [4 favorites]


It's healthy? You like it?

::go to kitchen, return with humongous carving knife::

Now drink it. Drink it all. ALL OF IT!
posted by Splunge at 10:20 AM on September 3, 2018 [5 favorites]


Apple cider vinegar with a few drops of dish soap in a cylindrical glass makes a great refreshing cocktail fruit fly trap
posted by anthill at 10:25 AM on September 3, 2018 [16 favorites]


I occasionally have a little bit of apple cider vinegar in a glass of sparkling water to change things up, but 1) yes, I AM sober, how could you tell 2) it's like, a tablespoon in an entire glass 3) the shrubs or sweetened ones (there are tons at the Korean grocery!) are generally tastier 4) I would NEVER force that on anyone else
posted by jeweled accumulation at 10:29 AM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


Like, even if I was evangelistic on how great apple cider vinegar is, it would seem the correct thing to do is put a bottle of it next to the juice as an option, since people are mixing their mimosas anyway. Maybe I'd hang around loudly talking about how I'm putting vinegar in mine and really it's so much better this way, yum yum.

It takes an astonishing level of presumptuousness to go right ahead and mix it in with the juice.
posted by RobotHero at 10:32 AM on September 3, 2018 [19 favorites]


I am currently on a doctor's-ordered quest to reduce acidity in my diet, which involves things like adding baking soda to my drinking liquids to raise the pH (and incidentally this makes things like Gatorade taste even weirder than Gatorade already tastes). Weirdly enough I am not under doctor's orders to reduce my alcohol consumption, but since I was already averaging something less than a pint of beer a week, I guess it was too little to matter.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I would have been sipping mimosas at this party and I would have gone unholy on the ratbastard FUCKING WITH MY HEALTH DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE ELEVATING MY CANCER RISK, SIR!
posted by ardgedee at 10:44 AM on September 3, 2018 [6 favorites]


Having spent some time sitting in small claims proceedings, I can tell you that everyone involved would appreciate the comic relief provided by a suit filed on "the infamous white cashmere shawl incident."

The judge would get a kick out of scolding the shawl girl.

Now, here is an option maybe: It is common here in NYC that certain small claims litigants get a letter from Judge Judy or other courtroom programming. I believe that both parties get compensated in those shows. From the tone of that email, I think that "shawl girl" would be a welcome foil for a sharp-tongued judge.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:49 AM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


This is the first time I’m seeing the Party Foul or Jihad thread. Am I the only one here who’s fascinated by the cake vandal and wishing for a follow-up? Because honestly... I just gotta know... what was up with her?
posted by panama joe at 10:55 AM on September 3, 2018 [12 favorites]


Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Cider vinegar producers.
posted by Damienmce at 11:06 AM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


Poor guy. Wherever he roams, forever an outcider.
posted by adept256 at 11:10 AM on September 3, 2018 [26 favorites]


he would be driven from medieval villages by a hail of stones and rotten vegetables
posted by poffin boffin at 11:36 AM on September 3, 2018 [8 favorites]


MetaFilter: I have done one thing with apple cider vinegar:
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:49 AM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


I have done one thing with apple cider vinegar: put bowls of it around the house to fight stale cigarette smoke odor (I heard that is an old realtor trick).

I use it as a hair rinse. And maybe in viniagrette for spinach salad. I don't drink it.

what I'm saying is that I would have been sipping mimosas at this party and I would have gone unholy on the ratbastard FUCKING WITH MY HEALTH DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE ELEVATING MY CANCER RISK, SIR!

Hell, I'd have pretended that vinegar was bad for my health and gone off on him this way just to teach him a lesson.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:50 AM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


"Pour this shit out, go to the store, and replace all of the juice you just ruined. Now."
posted by 1adam12 at 11:53 AM on September 3, 2018 [16 favorites]


ratbastard FUCKING WITH MY HEALTH DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE ELEVATING MY CANCER RISK, SIR!

I don't know if it's an allergy or what, but I have an extremely violent reaction to apples+alcohol. As in, even one swallow of hard cider will cause almost an immediate projectile vomiting incident that then lasts for hours. Apple juice, apple brandy, apple vodka - even if it's just artificial flavoring, my tummy is like TASTES OF APPLE AND WE KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, TIME TO REJECT! I'm always very careful ordering certain mixed drinks, because all it takes is just a little bit of juice to cause a reaction, and more than a little bit has actually put me into the hospital due to dehydration from vomiting for days. It's fucking weird as fuck: regular apples are fine as it's only the combo, and I've never meant anyone else with this so have no clue why. But giving me apples+alcohol is like giving your dog hydrogen peroxide, including the probability of throwing up on your rug.

Nobody would consider a reaction of my type because it is so weird, but he didn't even get to the thought of "hey, people might not want this?" let alone to someone might have some kind of adverse reaction, especially in this age of nut allergies and gluten intolerance and medications that don't mix with certain foods and on and on. I don't think I've ever tried a mixed beverage with apple cider vinegar so have no idea if it would hold true, but I would have gone after him with possible murder in my eyes if I'd been at that party. Or just followed him around, puking on him. Actually, that would probably be better. *vomits on him* "What do you think of your cider vinegar now, shitcakes?" *vomits on him* "Does beard oil get vinegar spew out, ciderface? DOES IT? *vomits on him* "WELL HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, YOU FREETHINKING DICK FROMAGE?!"
posted by barchan at 12:00 PM on September 3, 2018 [40 favorites]


muddgirl: The Twitter thread also referenced the infamous white cashmere shawl incident wherein a party guest almost certainly had sex in the woods on top of their cashmere shawl and then demanded that Nickle Pickle pay for a replacement.

I'd seen (and commented in) the "Party Foul or Jihad" thread, but not that one, and the revelation that that was almost certainly how the burrs got on the shawl was the sort of late-act twist that any number of screenwriters would kill for. (I've only ever gotten burrs on my clothing at ankle height, unless I was sitting or laying on the ground where the plants were, and even if she'd been trailing the shawl on the ground, the burrs shouldn't have been so ground in that they couldn't be pulled off.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:07 PM on September 3, 2018 [4 favorites]


He'd probably add vinegar to water, too. What a douche.
posted by The otter lady


I see what you did there.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:20 PM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


Ask MetaFilter: Does beard oil get vinegar spew out?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:20 PM on September 3, 2018 [4 favorites]


Apple cider vinegar is great for catching fruit flies. That is all.
posted by markbrendanawitzmissesus at 12:24 PM on September 3, 2018


"Why has he not been eaten by a feral Hippo?" Has got to be one of my favourite comments from the original thread.
posted by Faintdreams at 12:47 PM on September 3, 2018 [4 favorites]


Accompanied with small punctures in cling film and a drop of water tension destroying dish soap. You want the flies to be attracted, unable to fly out and drown in the cider. A trap, if you will, of acid pleasure.
posted by jadepearl at 12:49 PM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


He promises fantastic omelettes for breakfast.....waits until it's in my mouth to tell me it's cooked with coconut oil.

That actually kind of makes sense to me. Coconut oil is used to make some movie theater popcorn because it tastes better than butter. (And does not, in my experience, taste like coconuts; it just has a neutral high-saturated-fat flavor and mouthfeel.)

Still, full unconditional pre-omelette disclosure would be best.
posted by XMLicious at 1:28 PM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


There are many reasons to hate September -- the start of school, the end of summer, the fact that the ninth month has a name that means "Seventh Month" -- but the worst is being reminded of this asshole again.
posted by Etrigan at 1:35 PM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


I just thought of a good metaphor. This is the guy who brings his bongos so he can play along with the string quartet at the reception.
posted by adept256 at 1:56 PM on September 3, 2018 [16 favorites]


Apple Cider Vine-guy
My name is Apple Cider Vine-guy
And there's a million drinks I haven't wrecked
But just you wait, just you wait

posted by Maecenas at 2:09 PM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


And does not, in my experience, taste like coconuts;

I totally find that coconut oil tastes like coconuts! Noticeably so. My husband once cooked me something in coconut oil without telling me (possibly also an omlette, can't recall) and I could instantly taste it and wasn't a fan. Good for french toast though. Maybe we're buying the wrong sort of coconut oil?

I really enjoy juice and do not at all like drinking vinegar so this man is a monster. He must be stopped.
posted by stillnocturnal at 2:13 PM on September 3, 2018 [5 favorites]


How did it never occur to me that THAT is how the white cashmere shawl got all burred up? My mind is blown.

Anyhow, I enjoy a swig of the old apple cider vinegar every now and then, especially when I’m not feeling well (yup, that switch got flipped when I got sober) but I would never force it on anyone. And I once made Kid Ruki drink a cup of thyme tea when nothing else was working for a cough, so I’m one of those people who the Party Monster would expect to be on his side. Nope, nuh uh, no way.
posted by Ruki at 2:34 PM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


Also for the second anniversary, Sarah Gailey had a disastrous date with caterpillars yesterday.
posted by ambrosen at 3:01 PM on September 3, 2018 [5 favorites]


"Why has he not been eaten by a feral Hippo?" Has got to be one of my favourite comments from the original thread.

That's because River of Teeth is pretty damn good.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:21 PM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


You catch more flies with vinegar than with mimosas.
posted by betweenthebars at 3:23 PM on September 3, 2018


So when I was 12 years old, I was at party. It was a party my parents dragged me to. So we're at the door at the end of the night and like usual my parents are taking an extra 35 minutes to say goodbye and I'm getting tired. So at one point they started to walk back into the other room. On the inside of the front door was a tiny little holder with pepper-spray. I did what any asshole 12 year old would do, I sprayed a little bit or as I justified to my brain: “I want to see what happens.”

I ran into the washroom and by the time I came back, people were in the front door area talking loudly and everyone is crying and groaning and it's pretty much chaos. One of the smaller kids was blamed for having played around with it and our family left after a little bit.

So yeah, that was me being a really shitty house guest because I'm pretty sure that the spray/odour of the pepper-spray lingered well into the next day or so.
posted by Fizz at 3:43 PM on September 3, 2018 [11 favorites]


METAFILTER: And yet, he was invited to the party.







Though it does need to be said: apple cider vinegar solved my itchy scalp issue very effectively, very cheaply. FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY
posted by philip-random at 4:06 PM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


Coconut oil is used to make some movie theater popcorn because it tastes better than butter. (And does not, in my experience, taste like coconuts;

the last batch I had foisted on me sure did. Also ... Coconut oil is 'pure poison', says Harvard professor
posted by philip-random at 4:09 PM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]


It's a testament to the breadth and depth of assholery in the world that this anecdote reads as both more mild than I was expecting and yet also more potent. Damn, dude!
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 4:13 PM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


And does not, in my experience, taste like coconuts;

In my experience, that depends on which kind you buy, virgin or refined oil.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:18 PM on September 3, 2018 [4 favorites]


Apple cider vinegar with a few drops of dish soap in a cylindrical glass makes a great refreshing cocktail fruit fly trap

Yeah, but apparently leftover Aperol Spritz works even better, and I know which one I'd rather drink…
posted by Lexica at 4:48 PM on September 3, 2018


The Twitter thread also referenced the infamous white cashmere shawl incident wherein a party guest almost certainly had sex in the woods on top of their cashmere shawl and then demanded that Nickle Pickle pay for a replacement.

Muddgirl, I thought of that post too!
posted by apricot at 5:32 PM on September 3, 2018


I'm stunned by all this hatred of apple cider vinegar. Without apple cider vinegar, your barbecue sauce would be meaningless and sad. It is the absolute essence of a good sauce. And so, so damn cheap. Meanwhile, in Japan, the level best I can do is apple vinegar, and damn it, it is NOT the same.

Also, Costco here sells a line of Korean drinking vinegar here with an array of flavors (white grape is the best, followed by green apple, and pineapple in a distant third), and they're pretty awesome mixed with soda water.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:40 PM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


I'm stunned by all this hatred of apple cider vinegar. Without apple cider vinegar, your barbecue sauce would be meaningless and sad.

People aren't shunning its use in barbecue sauce, they are shunning its use as a beverage.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:46 PM on September 3, 2018 [11 favorites]


As a SURPRISE beverage, at that.
posted by angeline at 6:01 PM on September 3, 2018 [11 favorites]


Bad guests and twitter shenanigans are all well and good but someone somewhere in this should celebrate that Sarah Gailey is the author of River of Teeth, a glorious romp about queer cowboys only they ride hippopotamuses through the swamps and did I mention that reading it was a delight? /End of fanboy rant.
posted by Wretch729 at 6:43 PM on September 3, 2018 [7 favorites]


The omelettes tasted like coconut. He'd long been a fan of bullshit health fads and turned out to be a conspiracy nut as well. The omelette was only slightly less appalling than his Sandyhook views.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:11 PM on September 3, 2018 [4 favorites]


You run into Brundlefly at a bar and live, that's a story worth telling.
posted by benzenedream at 7:13 PM on September 3, 2018


The omelette was only slightly less appalling than his Sandyhook views.

I'd read a novel that started with this sentence. The first chapter at least.
posted by philip-random at 8:10 PM on September 3, 2018 [3 favorites]


But don't you see, he's a hero. The juices were going fast and if it wasn't for him bravely ruining them they would have run out. Instead, they probably even had left-over juice at the end of the night that they had to throw out thanks to his actions.
posted by ckape at 8:30 PM on September 3, 2018


So, my brother-in-law hosts Easter dinner every year for his and his wife’s families. One year, we brought a cake and jello eggs that spelled out “Happy Easter!” The plan was to put the eggs on the cake as a festive,holiday-appropriate themed dessert.

When we got there, the counter was already jam-packed with dishes for the meal, so we stuck the cake and jello eggs in the fridge, with the plan to set it up after the meal is done.

After eating the main course, I got up to prepare the cake, only to discover my brother-in-law’s mother-in-law had already pulled them out, cutting up the cake and setting the jello eggs out separately. We thought that was presumptuous and odd but man, it appears we were nowhere close to finding the peak of Presumptuous & Odd Mountain.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 8:51 PM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


Wait, wouldn't your brother-in-law’s mother-in-law be your mom?
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 10:01 PM on September 3, 2018


It could be your spouse's brother's spouse's Mom.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:11 PM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


Wait, wouldn't your brother-in-law’s mother-in-law be your mom?

Nope.

It could be your spouse's brother's spouse's Mom.

Yep.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 10:31 PM on September 3, 2018 [2 favorites]


Surprise beverage, not cool indeed, but y'all have wack apple cider vinegar in the States.

I've had European apple cider vinegars (French and German) that are drinkable as is, sweetness balanced with sourness. They're a thing of beauty, one of those simple surprises you never forget.
posted by fraula at 1:22 AM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]


Whoa, I am also a sober person who likes apple cider vinegar drinks, and I didn't realize that was A Thing.
posted by ITheCosmos at 6:51 AM on September 4, 2018 [3 favorites]


I have an extremely violent reaction to apples+alcohol. As in, even one swallow of hard cider will cause almost an immediate projectile vomiting incident

This could save your life some day! For instance, if you're ever being held at gunpoint by a villain who means to eliminate you once and for all, you just ask if, as a last request before you die, you could have one final swallow of your beloved Angry Orchard Green Apple. Then you unleash hell on him. It would be sort of like the bit in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid where Rachel Ward's character remembers that Steve Martin's character goes uncontrollably berserk when he hears the words "Cleaning Woman."
posted by Naberius at 8:01 AM on September 4, 2018 [3 favorites]


I didn’t know it was a Thing either, until this thread, but now I feel like I’m part of a club. And since I do have a cold right now, I think I’ll have an Apple cider vinegar beverage today.
posted by Ruki at 8:01 AM on September 4, 2018


This is new to me as well. We should form a club: MeFi Vinegar-Soaked Former Sots.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:59 AM on September 4, 2018 [6 favorites]


I saw "Worst Party Guest Ever" and thought to myself "is this the vinegar guy?" Sure enough, it was. Sometimes, I think about certain antagonists from these kind of internet stories -- this vinegar guy, the negroni season guy, the "I was told by Applecare" lady -- and wonder if they have any clue about their place in internet folklore.
posted by mhum at 10:14 AM on September 4, 2018 [4 favorites]


News to me too. La Croix went mainstream, maybe I should try it.
posted by thelonius at 10:32 AM on September 4, 2018


I feel like y’all are being unfair to the Negroni. It’s pretty tasty if you like Campari.

OTOH cider vinegar guy owes everyone at the party a real, heartfelt apology and a pledge to never, ever inflict his vinegar-drinking ways on anyone, ever again.
posted by tuesdayschild at 1:35 PM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]


Because of this thread, I bought a jug of hippie apple cider vinegar today, and now I'm drinking it with seltzer and ikea lingonberry syrup and peychaud's bitters and it's pretty good. But next time, I'm putting in way less than the recommended 2 tablespoons of vinegar!
posted by moonmilk at 2:57 PM on September 4, 2018


So, all this has me making shrubs today. I'm doing a cold press process, so right now in my fridge are macerating blueberries, peaches, basil, and mint. Soon, my precious(es), I shall have lovely things to add to seltzer. (And if it doesn't work, I'll still have sugared fruit, so...win!)
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 5:15 PM on September 4, 2018 [2 favorites]


I had a really bad meltdown from banana bread that I didn't realise had marijuana in it, so now I'm super paranoid about not wanting to eat anything if I don't know what's in it. (This got hilarious recently when a good friend brought homemade brownies from another friend to cheer me up, but misheard me asking about whether there was weed in it as "wheat", so he spent a while waiting for the other friend to the us if it was gluten-free!)

This would freak me out. I'm not even opposed to Apple cider vinegar. But goddamn don't add things in shared food thinking you know better! ASK FIRST.
posted by divabat at 6:01 PM on September 4, 2018 [5 favorites]


Soon, my precious(es), I shall have lovely things to add to seltzer.

I have a great idea for something you could add to that. To cut the sweetness.
posted by suetanvil at 6:04 PM on September 4, 2018


Wait, wouldn't your brother-in-law’s mother-in-law be your mom?

Relevant XKCD
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:57 PM on September 4, 2018 [2 favorites]


Relevant XKCD

See also: Ray Stevens.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 8:55 PM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]


Last year for the first time ever I saw a bottled beverage labeled "drinking vinegar." Mind. Blown.
posted by bendy at 9:09 PM on September 4, 2018


Oh are we posting those stories about people? I give you a separate plane of existence, from tumblr.
posted by gryftir at 6:24 AM on September 5, 2018 [2 favorites]


> does not, in my experience, taste like coconuts

We disagree about the coconut flavor, but more importantly: it doesn't taste like butter, which is what omelettes should be cooked with.
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:07 PM on September 12, 2018 [1 favorite]


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