Cultivate quiet spaces or go mad

September 3, 2018 10:02 PM

Finding silence online is difficult, but the pursuit is worthwhile [SLTheVerge]

(Control-f Metafilter? Check.)

posted by not_the_water (26 comments total)

and, generally, focused on maintaining small, healthy communities (like Metafilter)

Hmm, is Metafilter a place anyone goes for quiet? Is it small, is it healthy? I guess that's relative.

The place I'm thinking of as the ideal of what the author mentions (I won't give a name) is incredibly niche in scope and has 4,000 users total, 1,000 of which are active. That's more my speed.

Also - Slack needs to be mentioned for sure.
posted by naju at 11:20 PM on September 3, 2018 [8 favorites]

Oh, and Tinyletter. Most of the letters I subscribe to end up being little zen gardens of calm and reflection that punctuate my day.
posted by naju at 11:22 PM on September 3, 2018 [1 favorite]

 
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:51 AM on September 4, 2018 [13 favorites]

Hmm, is Metafilter a place anyone goes for quiet?

I'm mostly here for the noise.
posted by philip-random at 12:59 AM on September 4, 2018 [3 favorites]

MetaFilter: Bring the Noise.
posted by rokusan at 2:30 AM on September 4, 2018 [11 favorites]

Hmm, is Metafilter a place anyone goes for quiet?

I dumped Facebook and Twitter, neither of which I ever liked anyway, then signed up for some Mastodon instances, and then cut back on the larger Mastodon instances to focus on the smaller ones. Maybe I'll delete the small ones, too. I don't need the unfocused barrage of cat pictures and the like. I have my own cat to look at.

To keep Metafilter quiet, I am trying to focus by deleting contacts with people who publish their own zine every day. I may like those people (and the stuff they are pushing), but I end up getting too distracted by all the giant multilink posts and multiscreen comments. The best posts (for me) are one or two links and a few comments. I still scan the giant political posts just to see what everyone is screaming about today, but it's like sticking my head into a wind tunnel. I stick around long enough to see the comments with the most favorites and then get the hell out of there.
posted by pracowity at 4:14 AM on September 4, 2018 [2 favorites]

and, generally, focused on maintaining small, healthy communities (like Metafilter)

Hmm, is Metafilter a place anyone goes for quiet?

The first part of the sentence you quoted was Second, if silence is found through listening .... Which is 100% why MetaFilter is my go-to place on the net. I quit FB entirely, and I only maintain my Twitter to amplify other voices, so when I have something witty I feel is worth saying I usually take that to Mastodon*. But for just being somewhere, and reading what other people think without 99% of the time feeling compelled to add my own commentary, this is my favorite place to be.

*And occasionally someone will say something there that I get all het up about, usually political, and I feel like I have to dive in, and it takes conscious effort to remember I've decided that's not what I want that space to be for me. I almost never have to consciously force myself NOT to post to MeFi just to maintain my own sanity. Well, not since I quit following the politics threads, anyway.
posted by solotoro at 4:16 AM on September 4, 2018 [6 favorites]

Hmm, is Metafilter a place anyone goes for quiet?

Well, there's FanFare.
posted by betweenthebars at 4:25 AM on September 4, 2018 [8 favorites]

Music is where to go for real quiet around here. Those posts may literally be noisy but they regularly get 0 comments, like no one knows they even exist.
posted by pracowity at 4:36 AM on September 4, 2018 [8 favorites]

I've been focusing on Metafilter netizenship as a self-care thing lately, so this is relevant to me. I feel some fulfillment contributing to the ongoing relevance and existence of a community that leans toward respectful listening. In my case, it is not 'silence' I am looking for, but an alternative to the nihilism and chaos that is roaring out of immoderate media sources. So "not screaming" is near "silence" on the continuum for my purposes, yes.
posted by Glomar response at 5:27 AM on September 4, 2018 [2 favorites]

Oh come on, this is just perversity*. The internet is a medium of communication. Every device you use to interact with it has an off switch. A comms medium is not where silence is? Quelle surprise?!

*or some column deadline.
posted by pompomtom at 5:33 AM on September 4, 2018 [8 favorites]

Ok, soz, third reading now... so the author’s “silence” = “just as much activity as I personally want just now”?

Books are still a thing.
posted by pompomtom at 5:37 AM on September 4, 2018 [4 favorites]

The Internet is the easiest "place" on earth for anyone to stand up four walls of their own and have a quiet private "room" to relax in, the door to which opens only when they want it to. If you can't find a safe space on the Internet, heaven help you in the real world.
posted by trackofalljades at 6:42 AM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'm not sure why anyone would want to go online to find silence. I get relaxation or thoughtfulness, but silence?

IRL example- I just got back from a long weekend of primitive camping on the shore of an island in Lake Champlain, with 20-25 knot winds and the resulting waves the whole time.
This is incredibly relaxing for an hour or two. Stressful after a couple of hours. Maddening for three days.
I had to go inland to find quiet. Offline, if you will.
posted by MtDewd at 6:50 AM on September 4, 2018 [2 favorites]

But more often it’s simpler than that: the fact that there’s a society-wide expectation to be constantly available means there’s no escape from the insistent pings and buzzes that accompany human connection

There is too an escape--it's called "turning off notifications". (yes, even text messages. I actually have to open the messages app to see if I have any.) By doing this, I have transformed the internet from a thing I inhabit to a thing I affirmatively decide to do, and it's pretty great.

And you know what? If I don't answer a text for 6 hours, no one cares.
posted by Automocar at 7:23 AM on September 4, 2018 [3 favorites]

Some of the responses here are a bit…cranky.

"In my day we didn't have this newfangled 'internet' to 'turn off.' We would just quietly hang up the party line and go back to drinkin' on the porch. AND WE LIKED IT."

Seeking spaces for reasoned discussion instead of wall-to-wall Occupy Democrats is indeed a thing that is worthwhile.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:30 AM on September 4, 2018 [5 favorites]

Some online communities are certainly more calm, thoughtful, leisurely, respectful, etc.

Others are more chaotic, demanding, tense, hostile, etc.

This doesn't seem like a ridiculous or difficult concept to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
posted by Foosnark at 8:18 AM on September 4, 2018 [4 favorites]

I was disappointed that there wasn't a LiveJournal mention. That place is the most comfortably quiet place I know online :)
posted by Calzephyr at 9:17 AM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]

If one wants quiet, there's Dreamwidth. My feed there is mostly pictures of cute animals.

There's also a couple of the old science fiction fan communities on Usenet, which still have the same people on them they did 20 years ago.
posted by happyroach at 11:00 AM on September 4, 2018 [3 favorites]

I've been bumping more and more articles to my personal Wallabag, which has some of the same features as Instapaper and Pocket. No comments, ads, or css are big benefits.
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 11:49 AM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]

The snark is strong over this concept huh?

I feel as if 'Silence' is not the correct word to communicate what the writer was trying to say - but seeing as English is often not fit for purpose I'll just add my 2 cents to the conversation.

Safer spaces online look and feel different to different individuals. Not everywhere online is even remotely equal in how they encourage interaction, conversation, engagement, or punish anti-social behaviour, or rule-breaking, or even how 'sticky' they make their interfaces, or how aggressively the adverts will chase you round a page.

I personally think Mefi is a serene field during an Autumnal perfect sunset in comparison to the Vegas Casino Lock HELL in that is Facebook, but I understand how other people's mileage may vary
posted by Faintdreams at 12:02 PM on September 4, 2018 [9 favorites]

If I don't answer a text for 6 hours, no one cares.

You must have very well-behaved friends.

Too many people expect instant communication, all the time, and this expectation seems to transcend work/personal spheres, too. I have had to retrain many, many people to stop being offended if (i.e. when) I let their messages sit for hours until I'm in the right kind of communicative mood to read, process and respond thoughtfully.

(Those of you who have suffered the joys of dealing with me before coffee, both online and off, will understand immediately why this is a good self-developed habit.)

Test messaging is asynchronous for a reason. For crying out loud, have we forgotten that they're called messages?
posted by rokusan at 1:00 PM on September 4, 2018 [3 favorites]

Unfortunately just a spoof: Virtual reality game lets player sit peacefully in the pub on their own.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 1:52 PM on September 4, 2018 [5 favorites]

I started writing some lament, but felt like I was just contributing to the din of the web. Instead I'll just recommend a few "quiet" (by which I mostly mean considered) spaces:

* My library's Kanopy subscription has more films I enjoy than Netflix (and nothing autoplays). See what online media your library provides.
* PBS has an excellent website where you can watch NewsHour, NOVA, NATURE, and other worthwhile programs.
* The New York, London, and LA Reviews of Books have published some of the most informative political writing I've read in the past year.
posted by waninggibbon at 2:37 PM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]

I don't think of MetaFilter as silent. But I do think of it as an internet space that has the right amount of chatter for me. No loud ads, no images, nothing unpredictable, no jerks. If most of social media is a loud concert or a crowded hall, this is more like a...like a silent movie screening with a professional organist and a really committed audience.
posted by potrzebie at 2:43 PM on September 4, 2018 [8 favorites]

about:blank
posted by Marticus at 4:12 PM on September 4, 2018 [6 favorites]